Friday, August 31, 2007

Faking it 'Til You're Making it

I tend to adopt this philosophy on some things in life - and have seen it work, often quite well.

However faking it til you're making it when you're making it in the bedroom?

Not so good.

I wasn't in the mood, but I haven't been in the mood a lot lately (see current, general marital contentment levels - correlation possibly?), but it was morning, I didn't want to moan "uh-uh" again and face resentment, so I acquiesced, thinking I could fake interest (not the "O" - I never do that!) until I made interest in the conjugal suggestion of the morning. I was trying to be a giver, not a taker; a lover, not a hater.

Problem was, the interest didn't come along.

It was me, not him.

But my feign of interest was clearly apparent to him. And he was concerned first, mad later, when I told him that I was not really feeling the mood.

"That's been the case for a month now."

Yeah...our first, and to date, ONLY, session with the marriage counselor was a month ago. And you've been cranky and cantankerous and fairly self-centered ever since. Mmmmmmm....Sexy.

"Mama, I'm hungry," Punkinhead stirred in the hallway.

"I'm sorry," I muttered. "I don't want to fight, the kids are waking up. Can we table this and really talk tonight?"

No response.

Maybe my faking it til I'm making in this marriage isn't really working, either?

4 comments:

  1. I feel for you - we've had a rocky road recently (wish I could pour through your posts to understand more about situation)...hang tough girl! You're not alone.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sounds like something you really do need to talk about. It's hard to feel attracted to someone who's not being a terribly nice person.

    But he probably thinks that physical closeness makes up for emotional distance.

    So you might need to let him know that you need the emotional closeness to get you in the mood for the physical closeness.

    Maybe another therapy session? Or eight?

    ReplyDelete