At Your Service - The Public is a Damned Fickle Master

Last year, after our crazy-making, ad hoc, fly by the seat of our pants run at providing a cold weather shelter for the homeless in Loveland, I asked the Loveland Homeless Task Force numerous times to develop a procedures guide for future operations of such a shelter. I even gave them examples to go through and pick out what they liked and leave what they didn't.

I got....

NADA.

So then, when I published this plan - with approval from the Assistant City Manager, my phone starts ringing;

"Why in the world are you requiring a breathalyzer for for entry?"
Because we cannot accept people into the shelter who are under the influence - and a breathalyzer 1.) is standard shelter procedure thru the state, and 2.)eliminates any subjective accusations of drunkenness.

"Whaddyou mean you won't admit someone under the influence? They are still human and deserve to be kept safe."
I SO agree with you. However, they will be safe and warm in detox. As a City project, we have liability for the volunteers and the other guests staying at the shelter, and cannot risk the potential for harm. And this risk does increase with substance consumption - evidenced this summer by a man we both know and previously would have called "harmless."

"Wait, I, uh, see here that the temperature threshold has increased - that means we'll be open more days then."
Ok, wait a cotton picking minute...last year, when the shelter was given the parameters of 30 degrees or below, people complained that there was evidence that 40 degrees was a better cutoff, plus Fort Collins uses that guideline so why not us? Now that I have gotten that approved, you don't want the burden of service? One or the other, please.

"It's all getting rather bureaucratic, wouldn't you say? That's going to turn people off."
People don't HAVE to stay. If they prefer not to do paperwork (which will keep us accountable and also possibly argue the need for a full-time homeless shelter - oh, wait, that's big picture I forget you don't see that often) then they can make another arrangement, no? There is a choice.

Et. Cet. Er. A

It is the catch 22 of government work - if you ask the public for input prior to decision making, there is nothing to be found, but afterward? They will pick it apart with their - ($.02) (read: negative two cents), self-righteously and mercilessly, deprecating the bastards who make up the administration.

:sigh:

No matter...

At the end of the day, I know:
1.) It's a damned good plan, chockful of best practices
2.) For all the complaining, the attempt to save lives is being made...and despite all of the protests, it will be effective

One Step Closer to Painting CO's 4th Congressional District Clear!

So I'm home with a sick LMNOB today, right? (Sadly, my poor baby has been vomiting on the 1/2 hour, every hour since 6:00am - with the exception of two brief naps she has taken) So what better to do than send some e-mails for work - including a media release (read: cry for volunteers) for the inclement weather shelter, catch up on blogs, and actually take the time to read what's shakin' with the CD4 race?

As I prodded the DenverPost.com to open, by hitting refresh several times, the page finally and slowly came to life. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a headline that had me thinking, "NO Way!" Upon following the link, though, it was true - Angie Paccione has dropped out of the race!
In the political arena, one very well could speculate and say mean, sour grape-ish things about the real whys behind Angie dropping out, those that are beyond what Angie's already told the public - that she is pursuing a private, business endeavor - but that's not my style.

Nor is it Betsy Markey's way - in an e-mail I received from her campaign manager today it said succinctly, "We wish Angie the best in her future endeavors.*" And that is one of the many reasons I sparkly-pink-puffy-heart Betsy - because she is classy, and genuinely committed to running a clean race. Her integrity alone wins her more points in my book than any other politician (elected or just trying) that I follow.

But that's not all. Oh, and now I'm getting around to explaining my title. Yes, I did mean to say paint the district "clear." Not Red, not Blue - but Clear. And just what the hell do you mean by that, Hammy? What I mean is that Betsy doesn't have a partisan agenda. She's not committed to being the best Democratic representative. Betsy Markey is committed to being the best representative for our people, period. Betsy knows the constituents of CD4 - heck she's been one of them for years! She knows their needs as small business owners, parents, farmers, etc., and will represent them in a fashion that will allow their natural, varying colors (red, blue and every purple imaginable) shine through - thus, Betsy will be a CLEAR topcoat for CD4's people.

And then, we can be rid of the oppressive red that Musgrave fancies. Marilyn, having a coat of red in the House was so last decade. Buh-bye.

*edited to add: Betsy has since released an official statement on Angie dropping out of the race. Go take a look for yourself and see the honorable, positive, and respectful stance that Betsy has taken . She's our best political bet, I'm tellin' ya!

Autumnal Tilting

Sunday afternoon, on our way home from C town, we descended from Rabbit Ears Pass and took the shots I shared yesterday.

The groves of aspens in their changing, chartreuse to golden garb of fall against the crisp blue September sky, with the lone and rugged "rabbit ears" rock formation jutting out of the timbers made for a beautiful moment.

Yesterday, as I walked out of my office and felt the fresh air hit me with a seasonal one-two as the brisk coolness of the breeze danced in the sunbeams pouring down from the tilting solaris, I conceded that it is now in fact Fall.

My favorite season.
There is something about the positioning of the earth at this time that makes the lighting different. Ethereal almost, definitely that "golden light" we all love to see in photos. This lighting is the perfect backdrop for the natural beauty of the season. Glimmering golds, burnished bronzes, and radiant rusts spring forth and command our attention. The cooling of the air sends us looking to our closets for warmth, and pantries for comfort. And who could forget the other association that nerdy ole me has always had with fall? The starting of school. What's not to like about Autumn?

Well, as beautiful as it is, it is often the most difficult season for me emotionally. I usually get a bit out of whack from this time until Fall Back - that light/Seasonal Affective Disorder thing...then there's the fact that the holidays are inevitably closer. Can, check. Emotional worms inside, check. Awareness of the impending holidays - opens that can of emotional worms and all my family of origin ambivalence. I'm also starting to wonder if Charlie Brown has some issues with this time of year, because maritally, we have a trend - and September is not a good month. This year has been no different. Finally...with fall comes the sickies. Punkinhead threw up on Monday morning - Charlie Brown stayed home with him. Today? LMNOB, and it is my turn. Which is ok by me...I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed of late. Nursing a sick kid is not rocket science, thank God.

Blasts from the Past Over the Weekend...

I survived the MCHS Class of 97 10 year reunion.


What a week of non sleep...first, MIL came to the Fort and we were up past midnight Tues/Weds. Then we drove to C Town Thursday night and were again up past midnight. And again Friday...Saturday...and me again on Sunday, as the afternoon java I'd hoped would make me a worthy copilot took me way beyond the road trip.

But it was fun. Getting to see old friends, catching up and hearing about accomplishments, families, careers, etc...



And sad. Seeing that some people have crossed over to severe alcohol dependence. Or have already been married and divorced. Or are on the way there, and all that.

And a sort of closure for me. Craig was never home to me - seeing as how I only lived there for 3 1/2 yrs, and the mid-teen years at that. Going to this reunion and actually having fun and feeling proud of who I am and continue to become was some of that validation that I've been searching for F O R. S O. D A M N E D. L O N G.

And, it made me glad.

• **For my home. Because ya'll, the Fort has had me for 10 years now, and I've come of age here, started my family here, and put down some roots. It is a progressive community, home base for two institutions of higher ed (community college is higher ed!), the Fort gives me the needed space from family (both by law and by blood) and, it's just plain HOME; Where my [adult life] story began...
• **And for my life. As much as I may moan and groan about the goings on in Casa del Meyer, life is pretty darned good, with a few exceptions - I am working on them.
• **And for my faith. My walk with God really has taught me that there is more to it than this life we're living.

Funny how a trip to a redneck haunt like C town could evoke all of this gladness, eh? It was pretty though...(on the way home, that is ;-) )

Because She Says It Soooooooo Much Better Than I Could

Given my insane levels of busy-ness...thus my lackluster, not-so-creative posts, I thought I would direct you to Mir.

Why?

Because Mir is a parental genius. Also, pretty. Very much so. Moreover, her children MUST be my children's cosmic twins, because she's got a post up today with the communication glitches between mother and children down PAT.

My children and I have been having these exact discussions at my house lately...almost verbatim, but add a few more non-verbal communications like eye rolls, kicking and screaming, and well...then it's my life.

Without further ado, please go read.

Then bob your head emphatically at the "OMG! That is SOOOOOOOOOO my life" factor. And tell Mir, that while she does not bear the name of Maria, she is quite possibly the prettiest, and wittiest, and brightest mother-writer around.

Like the Ant, I've Been Busy Planning for the Winter

But, oh, how nice it would be to be a grasshopper and have it all done for me, right?

I’ve been working on a plan for the City’s volunteer-run severe weather day shelter for the homeless – in order to avoid the mistakes of our impromptu, very makeshift operations in January.

Behold – the media fruits of my labor.

 

 

On Tonight's News - Drive-By Thinking Sets Hammy's House Awry

Haven't been blogging b/c life got crazy busy on me.

In fact I shouldn't even be here, but I had this overwhelming compulsion to share with you the random thoughts that were going thru my head today, as I'm home from work, frantically cleaning before hosting a direct-sales party in my home tonight. Oh, and MIL's coming too, since she has business in the Fort tomorrow.

Why was my house SO COMPLETELY TRASHED you ask? Oh, b/c Charlie Brown got a hankering to CUT A HOLE IN OUR WALL this weekend. Holy shiznit but that about made me unravel into a big pile of nerves! I kept looking at the hole and saying, "But, honey - it's crooked - OMG! WHAT! HAVE! YOU! DONE!?!?!" But never fear, dear readers, because the hole is now framed ("frenched" per Charlie Brow) in w/wood that's STRAIGHT and has our DVD player, Dish receiver, etc. in it. Yes, we now have a built in entertainment console. And the TV? On the wall. Oh, yeah...it's sweeeeeeeeeet. We reclaimed about 3 feet of width in our smallish living room with this project. Woohoo! So, in the mean time our house did not receive its weekend deep cleaning that it normally does and I was so afraid that someone would see and call Dept of Human Services for exposing my children to such filth.

As I was cleaning today, I noticed crayon on the wall. It's not new. Rather it's been there for about a year, maybe more. But alas, the crappy paint that KB Home used won't even stand up to a washcloth with pure H2O on it, and thus it remains. I thought, "Self, you never used to get it when moms would complain about the stuff we kids did to trash their domain. Now you really freaking do."

Which led me to my next thought about how I could be construed as a frustrated perfectionist with respect to the cleanliness, or lack completely thereof, of my abode. And then the philosopher in me interjected - oh, you are more than a frustrated perfectionist...you are a wistful perfectionist. You wish that these creatures you live with would see your desire for a clean home, that you had time to make it clean more often than each weekend, you wish you had the energy to be the perfectionist you'd love to be. Yes, yes...I've got this wistful yearning to be obsessive, crazy eh? Sure it is - that's how my eating disorder started. I wished I was controlled enough to be anorexic (at the time - I am so over this), sick as that thinking is, and thus began the cycle of restricting-bingeing-purging. So, I think with regard to the domestic maven obsession? It will remain a wistful longing. Lest I become completely OCD.

I am all over the map today with thoughts. Hopefully they will remain and good blogging will pour on out of me. I don't know though....I've got school work that I haven't even begun on, and a 10 year high school reunion coming up this weekend, that I stupidly volunteered to do a "look at us now" slideshow for. I am up to my ears in work in all venues of life.

The applicability of Dr. Seuss to my life

"Up, up, it's a great day for up."

I called Charlie Brown to inform him that the reclassification of my position at work had landed me a 6% raise, retroactive to July, and the new title of Human Services Technician. As opposed to Administrative Specialist.

His response? "Whoo-hoo - now we match."

Somehow Human Services Technician and Subaru Senior Master Technician is not an apples to apples comparison to me.

I liked The Boss' response much better - "Tonight's meeting is canceled due to a lack of a quorum - let's go grab some wine and celebrate your new position!" She worked really hard for me to push this change through HR, and it's been a long, political battle for her.

1/2 a bottle of cabernet, 1/2 a dish of artichoke dip, and TONS of sassy, smart talk between women later, I was feeling more relaxed than I have in a long time.

The Boss was very encouraging tonight, noting her excitement about my budding career. That felt nice, given that there have been times that I've doubted this.

Yes, indeed - a great day for up.

What the Dr. Didn't Order

So Monday I took LMNOB to Dr. PediatricianThatWe’veHadFOR.EV.ER to check out her girl part itchies, right?

He examined her, and immediately says just by looking, “It’s not yeast because her labia are only pink and not all red and inflamed.” He did not test the gunk, and instead only cautioned us to abstain from bubble baths (LMNOB’s favorite) and to reiterate good hygiene practices with her.

And, because I have this STUPID thing where I clam up, because, hello, MD after a person’s name grants said person kryptonite like qualities that stifle the uber-smart-outspoken woman in me, I said nothing. I HATE that I do this, because often, AFTER I leave the influence of the MD kryptonite, then my questions arise. On the yeast issue, I thought: Hmm…I have chronic yeast issues, and RARELY do I get red and inflamed…And, hey, if she is metabolizing yeast in the intestine, it is excreted thru urine/stools, and if she is not using proper hygiene, why CAN’T this be an option? WHY didn’t I question this????

I did, however, broach the subject of IgG allergies, intestinal overgrowth of Candida, mercury/other heavy metals, and clostridia, with him. Dr. PediatricianThatWe’veHadFOR.EV.ER was less than encouraging, and pretty much completely pooh-poohed the idea that any of these issues could be at work, because LMNOB had never had any celiac like symptoms, any rashes/bowel issues indicative of food allergies, it’s rare, and a whole other litany of this-is-why-I-think-you’re-crazy’s, but wrote me up a lab order for an IgG/IgE test nevertheless.

Please keep in mind – it’s not that I necessarily WANT LMNOB to have any of these issues – I have not gone all Munchausen on her, but why not rule it out before dismissing the idea as preposterous? Other, good, post-visit point that I had: Ok, so gastro-intestinal yeast is rare, BUT it is RARE to be on the spectrum, AND LMNOB IS, AND the research is showing 90% of kids on the spectrum have one or more of these issues?

I told Charlie Brown about the visit with Dr. PediatricianThatWe’veHadFOR.EV.ER and how the mental kryptonite had me all sorts of confused and now I was really waffling about should we even do these tests?

Now read closely, because Charlie Brown made my day with his following statements:

“Yeah, well Dr. PediatricianThatWe’veHadFOR.EV.ER also didn’t think to connect the dots with LMNOB’s perpetual toe walking, way-prolonged bed wetting, and insane tantrums either. And then when you did, he still didn’t think that could be it. So, even MD’s can be wrong – just get the tests done and we’ll see for sure then, right?”

I was all, like, “Whoah, validation. Do you KNOW how incredibly sexy that is? Meet me at home?”

But seriously, this was HUGE, in my book. HUGE. 1st - Charlie Brown has never really bought in (at least not in his communications) to the SID diagnosis for LMNOB. And yet, here, he very much did. 2nd - Much as my inner feminist cringes to admit this, this kind of authoritative male take-charge-and-that's-all-there-is-to-it is exactly what I have been craving from him, in this, and other areas in our marriage.

So, what did I do with this little exchange that was so HUGE? I told him I appreciated it, and how much it meant to me, and yada yada.

Apparently, his appreciation:sexy as my validation:sexy, too, b/c it was a NIIIIIIIIIIIIICE night at Casa del Meyer.

You Never Said It Would Be Easy

But You said You'd carry me through the storm...

That part of this song hit me and made me a blubbering fool in the car yesterday. It was so poignant that it made my heart pull and twinge as if the Lord had a voodoo dolly of me and He was poking, prodding it all while saying, "I'm gonna make you FEEL my answers to our little talk!"

And the good news, I don't have to do this alone... cuz He will carry me.

"I Don't Get It, Mommy"

LMNOB is truly a blonde who’s bent on the fashionista angle.

Irrelevant aside about why we were in the car during school hours:

Today, I had to pull her from school for a trip to the pediatrician, since last night she was complaining like mad that her girl parts itched.  Given BT the OT’s concerns about yeast, I thought, “Hmm…this could easily connect the dots?”

Turns out, it’s no dice on the yeasties, but was more of the “No Bubble Baths For You!” type visit for her.

Anyway, on the way back to school, LMNOB says, “No one but B said that they liked my outfit today.”  Her pout was audible.  As was the very heavy sigh that followed it.

“But LMNOB, did they just not say anything, or did they say they didn’t like it?”

“They just didn’t saying anything.”  More audible pout.

Maternal sigh…(read: I’m stalling for time – how should I put this…)

“Well, honey, not everyone is as focused on their clothing as you are.  You are very creative and express yourself through your art and your clothing; but other kids have different ways”

“But Mommy, I just don’t get it…It’s not like they’re blind!”

Got that?  Anyone with eyes should BE ABLE TO SEE AND RECOGNIZE the greatness of her trendsetting ways.  Heaven help the unobservant man she partners with later in life.