I've got a Head Cold

Which explains part of why I'm feeling so crummy.

But the rest?

I'd say that it stems from the sick realization that it's happening again.

I've got that detached, sticky like a cobweb thinking that has me tired, distractable, and totally out of it.

Why?

Why can't I just have a clean, neat and tidy, CONTAINABLE episode of depression?

Why does it have to resurface and permeate every aspect of my life?

And, why, why do I have to be so damned aware of it?

Because, as soon as I become aware of the depression, I start to realize just how hard life is on everyone in my life. I wonder, am I that hard to live with? Many people with mood disorders don't even get that, but I do and it just plain sucks, kwim?

Why can't I be oblivious and blissfully ignorant?

What I'm about to say is extremely tongue-in-cheek:

I wish at times I could abandon reality and merely solve the world's problems by joining the church of Scientology, where I will become an expert on my own mental health issues, as well as the world over.

But.....then,



.....I'd be psychotic and not just depressed.


Gotta find some humor, eh?