On the Down Low...

Sorry readers - all 5 of you, right? If I am wrong in this assessment, please give a shout out - I have only ever gotten 6 comments for my "most comments," and a girl gets blog-inferiority issues from time to time..

I've become something of a blogrant - a term I've gratuitously stolen from Lynne, my library friend whom I always want to call Lynnie Lou.

Let's just say that this pattern of neglect can be seen in other areas in my life besides this blog - my house is a certifiable pit of $h!t right now, my body is full of toxins because I'm living on caffeine, filler foods, and little sleep these days, had some bank account whoopsies (paid our truck payment twice this month - oops! there went $300 we needed), et cet er a...

But it's for a perfectly good reason! I promise I am not just lazy, I have been diverting my attentions to an Important!School!PossiblyLegislative!Report! And working with homeless issues in the interim. This very important paper I am working on is an expansion of this post, and is a growing process for me.

You see, Heather is a roughdraft writer, hardly anything she does goes through an editing process, as she does her bestest work when under intense pressure. Seriously, the research paper for Citizen Participation, whilst it had been outlined and research had been thoroughly examined and noted, had not been put into written format until the night it was due, and Hammy got a perfect score on that one, baby. And that wasn't the first time I've had such results. Trust me, I am an EXPERT at Juggling 101 - The Artful Uses of Procrastination.

But...I can't do that this time. Because it is group work. And, because it is friggin' important - we're talking potentially saving lives here. But mostly because it is group work and we have to come up with a finished product TO.GETH.ER. One of my partners is a research hound and has been a tremendous asset to the team - I owe it to her to thoughtfully write, critique, and revise my thoughts to the maximum efficiency package that KNOCKS the SOCKS off of whoever decides to read it. So I'm growing. Somewhat painfully, but the results are sa-weeeet!

Thus, dear internets, I bid you temporarily adieu. Til I get my paper done.

:smooches:

Prepare to have the wind taken right out of you...

Because here be the breathtaking "Autumn" (and one LMNOB):

See - so not the Seinfeld version, right?

Pure cuteness is nothing short of, ah, breathtaking...

I'm diggin' on this new breed of tattle-tale

This morning, buttering toast, I heard Punkinhead, through the fog of non-caffeination:

"Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama..."

I believe I told him to hold on, that Mama's brain was not yet up to multi-tasking par and couldn't possibly comprehend the words of someone else whilst lubricating the multigrain goodness they were about to partake.

Or, maybe I just thought that. Whatever. Whether I made any kind of response, intelligible or more resembling that of a Neanderthal, my dear son pressed on.

You see, he was telling on sister - and that can never wait.

"Mama, LMNOB...."

Oh no, not tattling this early...

"is being a wreal gud gwrill dis mohning," and then he fluttered his lashes and flashed me a beguiling grin.

Such sweetness blasted the fog away and made me realize that he was capitalizing on a lesson we'd recently taught the kids - "Sometimes you have to look for the good in life."

I praised him for being so thoughtful and then reinforced that yes, LMNOB had been a really good girl this morning.

Life is good when you look for the good within.

Apparently She's Watched a Lot of Seinfeld

Last week, LMNOB had a weeklong homework assignment in which she needed to create, with the help of parents, a scarecrow from "materials easily found around the home." In addition to the scarecrow, LMNOB had to provide a "written profile" of her scarecrow, which was rather MadLibs-esque.

Well, being the superior mother that I am, I put off doing this with LMNOB until the night before it was to be turned in. I mean what good mother doesn't impart the tenets of Juggling 101 - The Artful Uses of Procrastination?

In doing so, I revoked a bit of LMNOB's creative license, informing her that we were going to use Daddy's childhood Mr. T doll, (a homemade Cabbage Patch prototype with chocolate nylon for skin and black yarn constituting his mohawk and facial hair, all lovingly crafted by Grandma Nina looooong before the est. date of casa del Meyer) with the aid of a paperbag - to be decorated by LMNOB, and other stylistic embellishments.

She hated the idea.

I told her it was too bad.

So, we dressed said doll in a pink longsleeved thermal of LMNOB's and tan corduroy overalls of Punkinhead's. Then I had LMNOB decorate her bag, fringed it around the bottom, slipped it over the head of the doll, and then secured it with a shoelace tied around the neck.

LMNOB felt that it was missing hair. I found some yellow and maroon raffia in my largely unused craft drawer, and we proceeded to glue the girl some hair.

Et Voila!

LMNOB deemed her scarecrow "Autumn" and proceeded to write her profile.

The next night at dinner, Charlie Brown asked her how her scarecrow went over.

Eyes downcast and sullen, "Good."

"Oh?" questioned Charlie Brown.

A pouty LMNOB recounted that, "Megan got most stylish," and further conveyed her indignation at this fact.

"Well, did everyone get an award?" Charlie Brown pressed on, all investigative and involved parental-like.

In true drama queen fashion, LMNOB made us probe even further when she answered with a one-word report, "Yeah."

My turn. "Well, what did you get?" I asked her.

LMNOB masterfully merged the heavy sigh, with an exaggerated eyeroll, and a pouty lip number, then muttered with the most downcast eyes she'd utilized all night, "Most Breathtaking."

We applauded her and told her that breathtaking was good, and then tried to demonstrate by correctly using breathtaking in a sentence. With context.

I am beginning to suspect that our love for Seinfeld, albeit in syndication, has carried more weight than this little language lesson did, because it was as if she knew this alternate meaning of the word existed, and surely that, and that alone, is what was meant by her award.

Thanks So Much for the Distinction, Love

Per my post on Wednesday, I have a few cute stories to tell on LMNOB.

The first, and easiest to retell, is an important lesson in particulars.

As LMNOB and I were packing Wednesday, I was folding a couple pair of my favorito panties, LMNOB gets this Beavis and Butthead/incredulous/ridiculously comedic giggle going and says,

"Whoa! What are THOSE?" Heehehehehehehehe....

"Those, are my panties." We'd just packed hers.

"But Mooooooooooom! They're Heeeeeeewwwwwwge!" followed by maniacal (I'm talking a psychotic break with reality kind of madwoman laughter) howling.

It was nothing short of humbling.

In a small, but ever practical voice, I replied, "Well, honey, Mama is rather huge."

"Awww mom, no you're not.."

Wow, what a sweetheart trying to assuage my bruised ego....oh, wait, she's still talking

"...but your butt is!!" Heheheheheheeehheeeheeehhee..........ahhh, clarification.

Apparently this qualifying statement was hilarious to her as she guffawed endlessly, flopping about the mountains of laundry on my bed.

So J. Lo, just so ya know, this is what you have to look forward to. One day that asset of yours that everyone wanted to tap into will become a neverending source of humor to your children.

[insert eyeroll, shrug of shoulders, and sigh here]

Kids...they see what they wanna see, huh?

Sososososo much to blog about

but alas! No. Time!!

Notes to self:

":Sigh: Breathtaking," story MUST be told...

Lots of work with fascinating details...

Thoughts about Fort Collins holiday lighting fiasco...

"Mommy's not huge, but her butt is" story...for which LMNOB receives coal, lol...

and more, all floating thru my head - but i must needs get packed and get out of the schoolwork that is up to my elbows this weekend while we're gone.

So...mayhap I will check in...and then, maybe not...

In the meantime, peeps, embrace the gratitude attitude of the holiday and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Making things happen...

Well...in Who-ville they say

That the Grinch's small heart

Grew three sizes that day!

Loveland City Council approves shelter in knick of time...

More inside details to come....

In the meantime, my heart is warm with this compromise that was made.

Nothing Says STRESSED OUT Quite Like Falling to Pieces at a Cliche Forward

So....most of ya'll know that I've been doing some shadowboxin' lately. Right?

Trying to figure out what's a true priority for me - I mean, does my life align with my values? In doing so, I've been torn between whether I need to be working and doing school, because don't my children need me more than that? Cuz, I tend to question on the bad days if this degree is really an investment in their future and our economic security as a family - as I'd intended - said doubt leaves me at a crossroads, wondering whether the ROI is worth these sacrifices being made in their early years? But then I think about how my work could change the world for a better place (with Divine Aid that is - no delusions of self-grandeur here) and I think about how much more of an investment we will reap - beyond economics, my kids, and your kids, can see a better and more unified future - and isn't that priceless?

But when LMNOB's sensory fits flare up - either because of the day's over/under stimulations or simply because as a bewildered mama, I scarce was able to come up with a nutritious diet plan for the day, let alone a sensory one - I struggle with thinking in completely oversimplified, fantasy-like terms: "I'll just quit work, become the class mom, and meet her every need." Hah...if only it were that brainlessly easy! Part of the reason why I continue to work outside of the home, is because my employer provides health coverage that is more affordable than anything my husband's employer could dream of offering. If I were to quit working, we'd be quitting OT. Uhm. No - that's not gonna happen anytime soon.

So my heart pulls me in one direction.

And then the Lord pulls me in another. And yet, even at that, I worry that I'm becoming institutionalized, too bureaucratic - but then, I remind myself, I've always been that detail-oriented, see the big picture and little picture simultaneously (picture in picture? So not a tv concept - they stole it from my brain) kind of gal. I was born a bureaucrat in that regard - and God's using that. I think.

See what I mean? Yes, I am a bitch to argue with...I'm ruthless with myself, let alone someone whom I know to be wrong.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand...I've gotten this particular chain forward several times already, and honestly, barring the "you must pass it on to x number of friends (hello viruses!) within the verynextbreathyoutake and you will have blahblahblah!extreme!blessings!," it's a nice sentiment.

Like not-half-bad advice, I tend to read through these types of forwards (that are upbeat and positive that is - not these freakshow evil ones that also tend to show up in similar fashion) and glean from them what I need and leave the rest.

Often in my deleted items folder.

The subject line had been inconspicuous, hiding the actual content of the message. The sender was the director of the homeless shelter in Ft. Collins, with whom I work fairly frquently.

I opened it, expecting to see that I was just one of her many address book entries receiving it. Nope - I was one of three, two of whom had already received this message.

Wow - I thought.

Hi - I am picking 17 people who have touched my life and who I think would want to receive this. Please send it back to me (You'll see why)..

In case you are not aware, Saint Theresa is known as the Saint of the Little Ways, meaning she believed in doing the little things in life well and with great love. She is represented by roses. May everyone who receives this message be blessed.

Theresa's Prayer cannot be deleted. REMEMBER to make a wish before you read the prayer . That's all you have to do. There is nothing attached. [Hammy here...Nothing, except that you must share to see what happens, lol]

Just share this with people and see what happens on the fourth day. Sorry [Yeah, sure] you have to forward the message, but try not to break this, please. Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. [Can't argue that] Read the prayer below..

Saint Theresa's Prayer
May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.

I read that second line and it hit me squarely in the heart.

Trust? What's that? Hammy has a wee bit of a problem in that department, eh?

Oh, and yes, I cried. Over a chain e-mail. That I'd seen before, but managed to communicate just what I needed to hear. From an acquaintance who happened to think of me before hitting send.

Wonders never cease.

To-do's No Longer

Man, this living thing is tough.

And it feels like so much has been on hold.

This weekend, I finally got around to:

Doing the laundry, because, no, I did not get new shag, multicolor, multitextured carpeting upstairs, and, yes, I was sick and tired of my family's linens n' things strewn all over.

Research for my group project paper due Dec. 10. Reading for my solo paper remains undone. It is due the same day.

Getting up close and personal with my hubs. It's been awhile. When did I become that woman??

Tomorrow - I will:

Call Dr. PediatricianThatWe'veHadForever and ask him to send all of the kids' medical records to Dr. FamilyPracticeInclinedtoNaturopathy that I've heard rave reviews about.

And schedule an appt for LMNOB to see the new doc and get her IgG testing done on Wednesday.

We have had a return of the fecal matter issue, but upon talking to LMNOB, it is because she is trying to "help her poop out" because it is so very hard that it's tearing her little bum up. Or, in the absence of poop smears on the toilet, she has raging diarrhea. Which made me want to call up Dr. PediatricianThatWe'veHadForever and say, "Oh? Maybe she DOES have intolerance symptoms, but I was just to damned busy to notice."

Poor baby. And I have got to let go of the retrospective guilt that I'm feeling for not catching this before, right? Ugh...

We've talked about it, and I bought her some flushable wipes, both for herself and for the toilet seat, when she needs them. And she used them the other night, so baby steps, right?

Open Letter to Pat Monahan

Uh, dude, have we met before?

If so, might I wager to say that it was, oh, In. My. Dreams - where I simply can't behave myself? You are a hottie, that's for sure.

Because I'd almost swear your hit song is about moi.

Almost...cuz ya see, I'm actually a Taurus. And stubborn, always gotta be right me wants to point out that there is no such thing as a Gemini Capricorn - that is unless you were born in parts, and six months between parts at that. Details, right?

But...methinks that more likely than a metaphysical meeting, is the likelihood that I secretly pine for Charlie Brown write and sing/read a song like this, about me, to me.

Seriously - men across the world ought to take note of this here little hit.

Wanna know why it is so appealing to women?

This part here is for the men in the world, b/c I'm sure you already know this, you lyrical genius, you.

Because it's not all Hollywood male crooner gushing (Whitesnake's Is This Love comes to mind - gag!) about some perfect woman in head-to-toe spandex with big hair, a woman whom none of us could ever relate to, or even pretend to be.

Instead, it's about a slightly nutty, very idiosyncratic, spunky little gal - a woman we all know and love within each one of ourselves.

So we can pretend that we are an object of affection [yours or otherwise] and the sole inspiration for such an upbeat and funky little ditty whether we are in the shower, prepping for the 9-5 life, or at the end of the workday on the car ride home - and what woman couldn't use that fun 5 minutes of make-believe in her day?

And here is where men everywhere should take note - this song is so unbelievably sexy because of the way Pat knows his woman. It's such an intimate inventory of all the wacky ways of his girl, and then he honors her neurotic repertoire by saying how much it means to him that she's his. We women long to hear some such similar homage, specific to our unique characteristics, from our mates - you know, something a little more detailed than, "You're a great cook; good mom; hard worker; blah, blah, blah." We get that kind of fluff from our girlfriends! And, quirks are fair game too - so long as you illustrate that they actually endear us to you.

So, Pat - I pink puffy heart you because I think you just revolutionized the male-to-female love song.

I'd like to thank all the little people who got me where I am today...

LOL...that's a joke, kay?

In all seriousness, though - Niki has branded me as an award-winning member of :

For Social Conscience

Awww, Niki, thanks - you're too sweet.

And now, dear friends, it is time to pay it forward...

This award has several categories, each of which I must name one special person to receive:

-Creativity: I award Heather Neff in this one. She is a crafty, creative mama who always has ideas for her own writing, with enough left over to be an awesome homeschool teacher!

-Spirit of Giving: I award Purple Kangaroo here. Even with all of her family's health woes, homeschooling time constraints, etc., she is still generous with her time and ability, evidenced here.

-For Keeping It Real: I can't just claim one person here - really a lot of my blog roll deserves to be here, but for most of them my comments are just a drop in their huge readership buckets, so.... I've got to award Mama P and Princess in Galoshes for their mad skillz at balancing keepin' it real with wit and pop culture in their posts. Their keepin' it real tales are easy on the eyes, and fun to read, not of that whiney, poor little ole martyr me, keepin' it real variety.

-For Social Conscience: Larry James is awe inspiring with the dedication to social justice that his posts reflect. I learn a lot from him and pray that more people follow his example.

-For Staying True to Their Beliefs: TiaLynne is amazing with her joint mastery of knowledge, love, and wisdom at such a young age.

Enjoy!