This has been hanging out in my drafts folder....

Photo by Nik MacMillan on Unsplash

Summer is officially winding down.

The boys both started school yesterday. three weeks ago Friday. Who are we kidding, winter break is next freaking Friday. Maybe that says a bit about the craziness of the past 6 months, particularly the last 4 since school started?

3rd grade

Freshman!?!?

Do not get me started about the ridiculousness of starting school on a Friday.

Kelsey starts started on a Monday. Three weeks ago tomorrow. (see above - the year's half over)

Junior year.

HOW?!?!?

Anyway....Monday is (August 21st) was back to school for me, too.

Yes, 20 years after I first stepped into a Colorado State University classroom, I will be returning returned to the Clark building, the building in which 90% of my undergrad classes were held, the building that housed that infamous basement bathroom wherein I learned I would be accompanied across the graduation stage.

Memories.

See also: Time, it does jet on by.

Once again, I've found myself in that odd rhythm of life that brings things full circle. Despite so much changing everything stays much the same.

**** And that's where the train of thought ended, my friends. I was probably called to attend homework problems or my alarm went off to go pick up one of the children.

Where I was going, I'm not quite sure, but I figure I'll hit publish for the hell of it.

My Food Evolution

So, anyone who knows me well knows that Food and I have a long-term love-hate thing going.  If we were on Facebook together, our relationship status would be 'It's Complicated,' especially when that interloper Body Image comes around and wedges him/her [Question: how exactly do you personify body image, that you usually equate as a feminine struggle, when you yourself are a hetero female?] self in between us.

There were the years when Body Image convinced me that I seriously needed to ditch Food's sorry butt to the curb.  Period.  But the co-dependent in me craved his touch, that sated fill of my belly, the swell of serotonin that followed the carb-heavy selections with which he tempted me.  So I found myself smack in the middle of a love triangle between Body Image and Food.  Said triangle's name?  Bulimia.  I'd sneak around with Body Image and rebuff Food all day long.  At night, Food and I would meet in clandestine conditions, and overindulge with each other.  It was hell on earth.

The years that followed had me reconciling with Food, re-establishing boundaries, norms, and finding new ways for us to relate with each other that were equally as pleasing but with less damage.  During these years, I had a restraining order against Body Image.

Enter Exercise, and over time it became acceptable for Food and I to double date with Body Image and Exercise.  As a quartet, we have found balance and harmony.  Sort of.   Food and I still keep to ourselves too much sometimes, neglecting Exercise, which makes Body Image lash out in a jealous rage.

Food and I have long known that fresh is best, and the purest we can get, the better.  So we've had fresh fruits and veggies together for a Very Long Time.  Ever wanting our relationship to succeed, I do what any married woman does and stay abreast with the latest and greatest self-help guides to success.

Whole grains, stay away from refined flour/sugar as much as possible, low-fat, lean protein, right?

Until recently.

My Facebook and blogs and other internet dealings kept popping up with things like Wheat Belly, paleo diet, primal eating, etc.  But what really did me in?

This video.


This video haunts me, and wanna know why?

Because my daughter had so much struggle with the sensory integration as a young child (it's gotten So Much Better) and my first son is starting to show signs of brain-related behavior/learning issues.

Because my loved ones deal with chronic, inflammatory problems such as high blood pressure, acid reflux, joint/back pains, etc.  And they all eat 'healthy' diets per the USDA.

Could they exercise more?  Yeah, we all can.

But by and large?  We Can Prevent If Not Cure what ails us by changing our diets!

So, I've started to implement a [mostly] grain-free, mostly legume-free, diet, no, lifestyle, that is catching on in my family.  Like my friend Jen, I'm going about this gradually.  And it's catching on.  Seth informed me yesterday that he'd had a grilled chicken sandwich, served in lettuce, for lunch yesterday.  Kelsey packed a salad with meat and egg on it in her lunch this morning.  Colton is a tougher sell, but we'll get him ;)

I still eat quinoa and brown/wild rices, and legumes, but usually only at dinner and in smaller than standard serving sizes.  It's all about keeping the glycemic index and inflammation factors low.  Self.com has a great nutrition data tool that you can type virtually any food (along with method of preparation) and get standard nutrition facts, along with glycemic load and inflammation indicators on.  Breakfasts have been fruit/veggie and yogurt/almond milk smoothies and/or eggs with meat and/or veggies a la omelettes.  Today, I splurged and bought a gluten-free bagel (brown rice flour) breakfast sandwich and Oh.Em.Geeeeeeeee (goodness, too, not the other Gee).  So good.  But it was a splurge - not a regular part of the lifestyle, ya know?

Some primal/paleo folks say no dairy unless it is grass-fed, organic, and I say - that's not an affordable option for our family.  We are still doing dairy, and not necessarily organic.  We just don't have the money for that.  Same goes for our meat.  We will buy grass-fed, all natural when we can (or rather, harvest it via hunting), but budget constraints limit this.

But corn, soy, gluten, most sugar*? Sayonara! (*Agave in small quantities, and occasional cane sugar indulgences, y'all)

In baby steps, as some things like salad dressings and condiments have residual amounts in them, but as we finish them up, they will be replaced with healthier options.

Just call me Britney....or maybe not

I could drop a coy little "Oops, I did it again," it being started yet ANOTHER blog when either of the others would have sufficed.

But....

It was no accident.  And it certainly wasn't a feigned accident, either.

I needed something ME.  Something where I could write again.  About anything.  (Grant writing's got its purpose and can be quite tedious er, fulfilling, yes, that's it!, but it isn't soul-soothing like the clickety clack of the keyboard typing something creative, meaningful.  INSPIRED.

And I have a lot to be inspired about.  If by inspired you might mean, challenged beyond all previously imagined possibilities in several areas of life.  Well, yeah, there's that stuff, too, but seriously - there is a lot I have to be grateful for.  But, there I go again, arguing with myself - it's been So Much Fun inside my head this past year with little time to blog and...PROCESS things.  NOT.  Anyway, back to the point - there are, admittedly yes, some significant struggles in life I'm going through (who isn't, right?), but there is a whole heck of a lot more that is going right and it's time I studied these things, meditate on them and find my contentment again.

So, what's been going on?

Well, the kids started school again (like 5 mos ago....yes I'm a quick one).

Kelsey is in 5th grade.  Let that one sink in, y'all.  My baby is in her Last Year of Elementary School (which is almost to its halfway point, no less), and I am slightly terrified for her about middle school.  Ok, who am I trying to kid?  Forget slightly terrified, I have honest to goodness PTSD like reactions when I spend anymore than 2.5 seconds thinking about it.  Srsly.  I'm breaking a sweat right as I type....or maybe that just makes for better storytelling.  But yeah, changes are on the horizon.

Going on 15

Colton continues to have some fairly minor, but consistent struggles with school.  The kid is smart - no doubt about that from the classroom nor the home - but he's uh, the one that teachers codify as energetic.  "He's just so, energetic, you know," is said at conference time with a knowing, too-polite smile.  And I nod, smiling back a telepathic message that says, "Oh, yes, darlin', I am QUITE familiar with the boy's energy and short of military school, I'm not exactly sure what to do with it either."  But over all, he's doing well and PTL we have a teacher who knows what she's doing with him this year!  (We got stuck with the same teacher who stayed comfortably in the box when it came to teaching that we had with Kelsey, and well, suffice to say interest in school was not high last year with him).

School is not his favorite, eh?

Christopher is now past 2.5 and neither speaking coherently, sleeping through the night in his OWN damned bed, nor potty trained - which aggravates the ever-lovin' tar out of my over achieving self, especially since the first two were either mastering or at least showing interest in those areas by this age.  But, frustrating as that may be.... the boy is a clown and brings me GreatJoy with his very clever humor.  His face is beyond expressive - it is an art form he has to be able to contort his features so that they convey EXACTLY what he is trying to communicate - often pure ridiculosity.  Yes that's a word.  I said so.  He goes to a pre Pre-School 2x/wk and loves it, so I'm not too concerned about his development - I just hate when everyone else points out his delays, like I clearly haven't noticed.  Like, hello peeps, have you met Me?  The totally overly observant one?  Yeah, so yes, I'm aware, now shut up, ok?  Thanks.

One of the contortions of which I speak

The Marriage Front / Life
Well, we are now officially an old married couple - having hit the lucky number 13 in years of marriage this year.  Which, if you do the math above * yeah, that's when I started changing my mind more.  Not because of Seth, but you know, cuz I'm a girl and it is totally my prerogative to be a little flighty now and then if I so choose.  once life gets a little more complex than just having to make decisions for oneself, then the decisions that once were so clear get muddled with shifting priorities and changing demands and, well, the monotony and busy-ness of life.  Just in the past 3 years we changed our minds, collectively, that we wanted another child and that it would be our first choice for me to be at home full-time.  And then I got sick and wracked up a bunch a medical debt, so now I'm a non-profit consultant, about to celebrate a whole year of business - can you believe that - and gaining some serious momentum to the point that I may soon be working the equivalent of full-time again.  Ebb and flow, things are fluid in nature and not as static as we may think them to be.

Seth has really changed a lot these past 3 years, but ya know, age and another kid, oh, and nearly losing your wife can kind of do that to a man, I've heard.  It's all for the better, too as I seriously find myself more and more in love with him each day than the one before.  It's not always that exciting eros of the early days kind of love (though, it's not unheard of, rawr!).  More often than not it is the Alison Kraus or the Ingrid Michaelson variety, deemed by many as sorta boring, but it is constant and secure and unequivocally accepting of me, and helps me get through life in a way I can't imagine Not Having. :swoon:

He's such a hands on dad with the kids at these ages; the relationship between him and Kelsey is really something to behold lately.  He's imparting his knowledge and love of hunting to her and the confidence she's gained from this, this inclusion into what has often been a boys only club since the dawn of time, has been nothing short of remarkable and inspiring.  It's even given me the blood lust somewhat, but shhhh....I still enjoy playing the role of the genteel wife who wouldn't dare bloody her hands.  

Then, he took on Cub Master for Colton's scout pack - no small commitment - and it has been a blessing to ALL of them, I'd say.

We're busy,,,even without organized sports, we still have both kids in choir and Odyssey of the Mind, Colton in Scouts, church groups, etc. that basically keep us busy most every night of the week save Mondays and Fridays.  Tonight, for instance, I worked all day, flew home to pick kids up from sitters and change, drove to the school for back to back choir concerts where we met Seth, drove to get a fast food dinner (which I will say I stuck to my recent Paleo convictions and thoroughly enjoyed a lettuce wrapped burger and side salad from Carl's Jr, thankyouverymuch!) and only got home for the first time in 13 hours at 9:30pm tonight. :sigh: tomorrow morning will be here all too quickly and I'll be rushing the groggy older two off to choir practice before school starts.  I don't know how people do it when band, sports, etc enter the family calendar, but it keeps us on our toes,

I haven't exercised since Tuesday and I feel conflicted about that - but this week has been seriously busy.  I do feel a sense of satisfaction about my eating this week, and that sure helps to keep me from self-flagellating about the exercise.

Anyway - that's what's been going on around here - how about you?