Was done Tuesday at the end of the day.
Yesterday I took off from work and tried to decompress. Lunch at LMNOB's school, playing with the kids at lunch recess, a deep tissue massage, and a new haircut all helped in the decompression efforts.
I have much, much, much more to write about the count, and plan on doing some this weekend. I invited all the key players wh okept me sane in the process to an "It is Finished Celebration," and was told that had a Christ-like ring to it. That wasn't done intentionally, but now that I've thought about it, there were a bunch of parallels, more on that later.
For now, it's back to normal, and I gotta get the kids ready for school and daycare....and go into the office. But hey, it's a 3 day weekend coming up!
speaking truth. celebrating mistakes. spreading hope.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Prayer Requests
The count's tomorrow.
For those who're not yet familiarized with this project, here's a brief overview:
The last statewide homeless count in Colorado was done in 1988. Since then, the state's entire population has increased roughly 32%. However, metro Denver alone counted 9,091 homeless persons this January - a 300% increase over the ENTIRE state's homeless population in '88.
Something's seriously and disproportionately wrong in the state of Colorado....but just how wrong nobody knows. Which is why we're attempting another statewide count. It's a survey....blech, I know. But...with the press we've run and incentives for filling it out - maybe we'll get a good response. Prayer request #1 - cooperative respondents.
In addition to the sheer numbers, we will get important inputs re: the whys and hows of homelessness in our state.
August is leaving rather quickly - trading in rainy afternoons and cool nights for the blasted heat we've had all summer long. This is fine - except, I'll have 50 people scouring the landsides of the county looking for homeless folks and it could decide to dump buckets of moisture from the skies. Prayer request #2 - dry weather that's neither too cool nor too hot.
We could see some folks, and then, we could not - due to my decision to stick more to safety. Prayer request #3 - visibility of homeless persons.
LMNOB had a tough week last week, with very tearful drop-offs for school in the mornings. Ms. Kindergarten Teacher was wonderfully swift in her redirections for LMNOB, but it still made me feel like number 1 loser Mommy. I know she's in the midst of a big transition with school, and then I've not been readily available to her. And, Charlie Brown and I have been arguing...a lot, lately. Poor thing probably thinks the floor is going to drop out on her at any turn. Prayer request #4 - an easy drop off in the morning, prayer request #5 - that LMNOb be unscathed my my absence tomorrow night, and prayer request #6 - that Big'n'Tall Bro be on top of his babysitting game tomorrow night, get them into bed early and all that jazz.
I'm so ready to be done. I love to have had this experience, but I'm about done in now..... below is an excerpt of an e-mail I sent Thursday to my former place of employment:
I have a large job ahead of me, and have found that it helps if we all work together instead of looking out for our [own agency's] best interests. A lot of agencies have expressed concern about staff time to do this count. And I understand that as a pressing issue in the here and now. However, I also understand that if we do not get accurate information and representation on this count, competitive funding such as SuperNOFA ($16 million to CO this year – and we barely secured that, being 2 points from $0 ) will be lost. Area mental health providers have permanent housing from this funding source, and were we to lose it, you have a number of mentally ill folks w/o housing and the potential for [decompensation, and thus]lots of dollars down the tube at CMHI (state mental hospitals). So, it's invest small now, or lose big later.
We all have to look at the big picture. When we all help, we all benefit.
I wonder how it will have served me, having been so frank with my former supervisor, but you know, we can't as service providers and local governments pretend that all is well on the western front - avoiding the elephant in the room at all costs - literally.
Someone's got to say it.
And I'm not afraid to be that someone....
For those who're not yet familiarized with this project, here's a brief overview:
The last statewide homeless count in Colorado was done in 1988. Since then, the state's entire population has increased roughly 32%. However, metro Denver alone counted 9,091 homeless persons this January - a 300% increase over the ENTIRE state's homeless population in '88.
Something's seriously and disproportionately wrong in the state of Colorado....but just how wrong nobody knows. Which is why we're attempting another statewide count. It's a survey....blech, I know. But...with the press we've run and incentives for filling it out - maybe we'll get a good response. Prayer request #1 - cooperative respondents.
In addition to the sheer numbers, we will get important inputs re: the whys and hows of homelessness in our state.
August is leaving rather quickly - trading in rainy afternoons and cool nights for the blasted heat we've had all summer long. This is fine - except, I'll have 50 people scouring the landsides of the county looking for homeless folks and it could decide to dump buckets of moisture from the skies. Prayer request #2 - dry weather that's neither too cool nor too hot.
We could see some folks, and then, we could not - due to my decision to stick more to safety. Prayer request #3 - visibility of homeless persons.
LMNOB had a tough week last week, with very tearful drop-offs for school in the mornings. Ms. Kindergarten Teacher was wonderfully swift in her redirections for LMNOB, but it still made me feel like number 1 loser Mommy. I know she's in the midst of a big transition with school, and then I've not been readily available to her. And, Charlie Brown and I have been arguing...a lot, lately. Poor thing probably thinks the floor is going to drop out on her at any turn. Prayer request #4 - an easy drop off in the morning, prayer request #5 - that LMNOb be unscathed my my absence tomorrow night, and prayer request #6 - that Big'n'Tall Bro be on top of his babysitting game tomorrow night, get them into bed early and all that jazz.
I'm so ready to be done. I love to have had this experience, but I'm about done in now..... below is an excerpt of an e-mail I sent Thursday to my former place of employment:
I have a large job ahead of me, and have found that it helps if we all work together instead of looking out for our [own agency's] best interests. A lot of agencies have expressed concern about staff time to do this count. And I understand that as a pressing issue in the here and now. However, I also understand that if we do not get accurate information and representation on this count, competitive funding such as SuperNOFA ($16 million to CO this year – and we barely secured that, being 2 points from $0 ) will be lost. Area mental health providers have permanent housing from this funding source, and were we to lose it, you have a number of mentally ill folks w/o housing and the potential for [decompensation, and thus]lots of dollars down the tube at CMHI (state mental hospitals). So, it's invest small now, or lose big later.
We all have to look at the big picture. When we all help, we all benefit.
I wonder how it will have served me, having been so frank with my former supervisor, but you know, we can't as service providers and local governments pretend that all is well on the western front - avoiding the elephant in the room at all costs - literally.
Someone's got to say it.
And I'm not afraid to be that someone....
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Must.. Keep... Going!
Ahh geeze, it's not like I'm dying or something, but my body is trying to shut down on me.
All the stress of the Count's end days have been eliciting all sorts of psychosomatic phenomena:
There's the traditional bag o' tricks -
And then, there are the new things, never before equated with stress in my life-
Today is Charlie Brown's Saturday of the month to work at the shop, so I've been frenetically trying to get my house in some order. You can't really tell, save for the kids' rooms - but then by looking at them now and knowing what they were this morning....suffice it to say, even if Charlie Brown sees nothing else got done today, he'll know that those rooms took me HOURS; the kids have inherited his pig sty genes.
I needed to stop, collaborate and listen - oh no, Vanilla Ice flashback, I really am losing my mind! LOL, all kidding aside, I just needed to stop and pause to collect myself.
Now that I've done so, if you'll excuse me, I... must... keep... going.
What's that you say, "Don't go?"
Hell, if you say so - wait, no, I'm sorry - I really should go.
Besides LMNOB giving me the evil eye - as my blogging is keeping her from her precious Nick Jr. Playtime, I have scads and scads of dirty laundry (little of it actually mine) that I must see to, vaccuuming that needs done, bathrooms that are remniscent of a public park restroom (eewww, I know!), and cases of shirts, hygiene items, and snack foods that must be made into incentive bags for Monday's count.
All the stress of the Count's end days have been eliciting all sorts of psychosomatic phenomena:
There's the traditional bag o' tricks -
- Headache
- Fatigue
- Shoulder Tension
- Stress Eating -> a 12 lb weight gain in the past 14 wks. Grrr... you know those Cortislim ads? Uh, yeah, hmmmm.
And then, there are the new things, never before equated with stress in my life-
- My hips down to my calves just ache at the end of the day - and if Charlie Brown were the massaging type, well, I'd have him working on me every night, but, he's not, so I just try to stretch out a lot.
- Blood pressure related changes in my visual field - aack I know that's not good, and hopefully it's temporary...wait, that's supposed to be new, right? Yeah, well, the only time it's EVER happened before was when I was preeclamptic with LMNOB, so it is kinda new in this sense.
- I have no motivation - like here's an elephant before me, and if it is only going to be eaten one bite at a time, well I know that's going to take awhile, why not dally a bit longer?
Today is Charlie Brown's Saturday of the month to work at the shop, so I've been frenetically trying to get my house in some order. You can't really tell, save for the kids' rooms - but then by looking at them now and knowing what they were this morning....suffice it to say, even if Charlie Brown sees nothing else got done today, he'll know that those rooms took me HOURS; the kids have inherited his pig sty genes.
I needed to stop, collaborate and listen - oh no, Vanilla Ice flashback, I really am losing my mind! LOL, all kidding aside, I just needed to stop and pause to collect myself.
Now that I've done so, if you'll excuse me, I... must... keep... going.
What's that you say, "Don't go?"
Hell, if you say so - wait, no, I'm sorry - I really should go.
Besides LMNOB giving me the evil eye - as my blogging is keeping her from her precious Nick Jr. Playtime, I have scads and scads of dirty laundry (little of it actually mine) that I must see to, vaccuuming that needs done, bathrooms that are remniscent of a public park restroom (eewww, I know!), and cases of shirts, hygiene items, and snack foods that must be made into incentive bags for Monday's count.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Love Thursday
I noticed on Mir and Chris' blogs that Love Thursday was mentioned.
I like the concept, and here's mine:
"C'mere Buddy*, let me hold you up for this picture"
* LMNOB's pet name for Punkinhead
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Final volunteer training was tonight
in one of my former classrooms at CSU - that was strange!
It started out really crappy - I was told the room would have EVERYTHING it needed for me to do my thing with power point.
In reality, everything BUT a laptop was there. I could have brought a laptop, had I known I needed one! I even called to see if everything was in order...and was assured everything was fine. It wasn't.
It did get ironed out though, after much persuasive, yet civil convincing on my part to the poor hapless soul at Classroom Media.
There was seating for 147.... but only about 20-25 ppl there. Yeah, I'd hoped for more, but I think this is all going to work just fine.
It has to.
The Boss keeps telling me, "Your job is not the results part, it is getting us to the point where we can attempt to collect results....." Which, logically, I know, but emotionally, I fear being connected with a giant FLOP.
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday...
The count is Monday and Tuesday. Clock is ticking...heart is pounding.
Can't wait to say, "It is finished - now pour me a drink and keep 'em coming!"
Aww, not really....well, maybe a few ;-) But in all seriousness, I do anticipate a rather large wrap party. So many people have bolstered me through this, most of them people I'd never met before this project. They deserve to know how much it means to me!
Friends for life are the ones who share the heart, I say.
It started out really crappy - I was told the room would have EVERYTHING it needed for me to do my thing with power point.
In reality, everything BUT a laptop was there. I could have brought a laptop, had I known I needed one! I even called to see if everything was in order...and was assured everything was fine. It wasn't.
It did get ironed out though, after much persuasive, yet civil convincing on my part to the poor hapless soul at Classroom Media.
There was seating for 147.... but only about 20-25 ppl there. Yeah, I'd hoped for more, but I think this is all going to work just fine.
It has to.
The Boss keeps telling me, "Your job is not the results part, it is getting us to the point where we can attempt to collect results....." Which, logically, I know, but emotionally, I fear being connected with a giant FLOP.
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday...
The count is Monday and Tuesday. Clock is ticking...heart is pounding.
Can't wait to say, "It is finished - now pour me a drink and keep 'em coming!"
Aww, not really....well, maybe a few ;-) But in all seriousness, I do anticipate a rather large wrap party. So many people have bolstered me through this, most of them people I'd never met before this project. They deserve to know how much it means to me!
Friends for life are the ones who share the heart, I say.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
8 days and Counting (couldn't avoid the pun!)
Some have asked me why I agreed to this homeless count. Why have I overburdened myself, why have I let it consume me?
Because it's my ministry. Because God spoke to me, rather loudly I might add; I knew that a temporary campaign like this would be the beginning of my life's work. With it, I can share ministering to the poor with my children, my church - who says they want to be more of a presence in the community, other churches who have their eyes opened- they just aren't focused yet....and many
Those are some of the spiritual reasons. Which abound, much further than what is mentioned above.
And there are the political, fiscal reasons.
$16 million dollars came into the state of Colorado last year thru HUD SuperNOFA programs. This is a national competition, unlike entitlement programs such as CDBG, ESG, etc., and the folks at the State told us that the three sources of SuperNOFA funds in CO almost didn't get anything. Yeah, 2-3 points on each of the three applications would have lost a vital funding source.
This count could help us become more secure in SuperNOFA applications....which is critical, because:
1 - CDBG, a federal source of funding primarily for housing and homeless services, has been on the federal chopping block at the presidential level since January 2005, when Bush proposed his budget for FY 2006. Congress blocked his proposal to consolidate with 17 other programs, whittle the budget to less than what CDBG was alone then, and whisk it over to the Department of Commerce for program administration. However, cuts have continually eroded CDBG awards nation wide these past two years.
2 - our local governments are having recessed sales tax revenues, which means hard budget decisions. If we secure NOFA funds, it will take some of the pressure of the local municipalities, and allow for better prioritization.
3 - Colorado passed a TABOR amendment to the state constitution in 1990. It's a complicated budgeting tool, but basically eradicated several human services programs, or all but eradicated in some instances because of a recession in tax revenues. The state voters passed a referendum last year to bypass some of the strict measures and allow for some reinstatement of vital programs - however, as a state, we're still rebuilding, and thus, federal funds are imperative for humanitarian aid to our state's impoverished citizens.
4 - a lot of our government programs are band-aids, and not getting to the heart of the matter if you would ask most service providers, but the data to back those claims are anecdotal at best. This count will serve to address that question. For instance, if 92% of all Colorado homeless women are victims of domestic violence, wouldn't it make sense to get some preventive programs with the boys at risk of becoming abusers? Prevention may be costly at start-up, but in the end, crisis prevention is generally more cost-effective than crisis intervention.
I could go on, but it's late. And 8 is about to become 7 days.....
Because it's my ministry. Because God spoke to me, rather loudly I might add; I knew that a temporary campaign like this would be the beginning of my life's work. With it, I can share ministering to the poor with my children, my church - who says they want to be more of a presence in the community, other churches who have their eyes opened- they just aren't focused yet....and many
Those are some of the spiritual reasons. Which abound, much further than what is mentioned above.
And there are the political, fiscal reasons.
$16 million dollars came into the state of Colorado last year thru HUD SuperNOFA programs. This is a national competition, unlike entitlement programs such as CDBG, ESG, etc., and the folks at the State told us that the three sources of SuperNOFA funds in CO almost didn't get anything. Yeah, 2-3 points on each of the three applications would have lost a vital funding source.
This count could help us become more secure in SuperNOFA applications....which is critical, because:
1 - CDBG, a federal source of funding primarily for housing and homeless services, has been on the federal chopping block at the presidential level since January 2005, when Bush proposed his budget for FY 2006. Congress blocked his proposal to consolidate with 17 other programs, whittle the budget to less than what CDBG was alone then, and whisk it over to the Department of Commerce for program administration. However, cuts have continually eroded CDBG awards nation wide these past two years.
2 - our local governments are having recessed sales tax revenues, which means hard budget decisions. If we secure NOFA funds, it will take some of the pressure of the local municipalities, and allow for better prioritization.
3 - Colorado passed a TABOR amendment to the state constitution in 1990. It's a complicated budgeting tool, but basically eradicated several human services programs, or all but eradicated in some instances because of a recession in tax revenues. The state voters passed a referendum last year to bypass some of the strict measures and allow for some reinstatement of vital programs - however, as a state, we're still rebuilding, and thus, federal funds are imperative for humanitarian aid to our state's impoverished citizens.
4 - a lot of our government programs are band-aids, and not getting to the heart of the matter if you would ask most service providers, but the data to back those claims are anecdotal at best. This count will serve to address that question. For instance, if 92% of all Colorado homeless women are victims of domestic violence, wouldn't it make sense to get some preventive programs with the boys at risk of becoming abusers? Prevention may be costly at start-up, but in the end, crisis prevention is generally more cost-effective than crisis intervention.
I could go on, but it's late. And 8 is about to become 7 days.....
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Musique du Jour
For my mental state, this silly song's chorus says it all.
Then, on one of my cd's Big'N'Tall made me that I recently reacquainted myself with, I discovered Toby Lightman's Everyday. Gosh, had she been living my life when she wrote this? Actually now that I've heard more of her stuff, I'm convinced she's a mix of Sheryl Crow and myself. ;-)
Right now I'm sitting the fence as to whether this smoke is situational or a reprise of my depression. Thus far, I'm still getting up in the morning, and still caring for myself, albeit in the least time consuming manner - the girl is busy, folks!
In the mean time, I'm singing about the smoke clearing...sing on Toby girl....
Then, on one of my cd's Big'N'Tall made me that I recently reacquainted myself with, I discovered Toby Lightman's Everyday. Gosh, had she been living my life when she wrote this? Actually now that I've heard more of her stuff, I'm convinced she's a mix of Sheryl Crow and myself. ;-)
Every day is a struggleBetween what I want to say andwhat I want to keep to myself
And the words that manage to leave my lipsDon't hurt me, but they hurt everyone elseSo I find myself in need of a pauseI'm not sure why, but I think that it's becauseOf this desire to be what others want me to beWhich is nothing close to me
But I'll see better when the smoke clearsThe smoke clears inside my headAnd I can listen when the screaming doesn't repeateverything I've saidAnd all that remains is me and who I am at the end of the dayAnd this happens every day ... yeah...
Every day is a battleBetween what I want to knowand what I don't want to figure outAnd everything in between in these thoughts of minethat you know I can't live without
So I find myself in need of a pauseI'm not sure why, but I think that it's becauseOf this desire to be what others want me to beWhich is nothing close to me
But I'll see better when the smoke clearsThe smoke clears inside my headAnd I can listen when the screaming doesn't repeateverything I've saidAll that remains is me and who I am at the end of the dayAnd this happens every day ... yeah... oooh...
But I'll see better when the smoke clearsThe smoke clears inside my headAnd I can listen when the screaming doesn't repeateverything I've saidAll that remains is me and who I am at the end of the dayAnd this happens every day ... this happens every dayThis happens every day... yeah...
Right now I'm sitting the fence as to whether this smoke is situational or a reprise of my depression. Thus far, I'm still getting up in the morning, and still caring for myself, albeit in the least time consuming manner - the girl is busy, folks!
In the mean time, I'm singing about the smoke clearing...sing on Toby girl....
LMNOB on the Royalty of Christian Deities
LMNOB is 5, and obsessed with queens and princesses.
A month or so ago, she asked me why there weren't any queens in Heaven. I asked her to clarify, and she was concerned that if we call God the "King" and Jesus the "Prince [of Peace]," who was/wasn't the queen and why.
Our minister, when I approached him, laughed and said, "You've got a budding feminist."
Well, that's not always a bad thing. *Knowing smile*.
A close friend of mine, who grew up in the church, had an immediate answer when I posed this dilemma to her: Tell her there are queens in Heaven - Queen Esther (OT) is bound to be there, as well as the other queens of Christendom who've reigned here on earth. Hey, great point!
So we had that discussion and finished it....so I thought.
Until Friday, the day of the sunlight/Sonlight conversation, when she asked again:
Mama, why aren't there any queens in Heaven?
Honey, we've discussed this. Remember there are queens in Heaven, like Queen Esther?
I wanna talk about this again! Queen Esther was just a person Mama. What about Queens like Jesus and God?
Well honey, I don't know.
Well, did Jesus have a wife that would have become a queen?
Not that the Bible mentions, so probably not.
Why? Why didn't He get married, that's weird - everybody should get married.
Well, but not everyone does......like Uncle Big'n'Tall, he's not married - Jesus was like that.
So, what about Jesus' mama? If God's a King, and Jesus is a Prince, well his Mama had to be a queen!
You mean Mary? You think she might be the queen of Heaven?
Well yaaaah! I mean the Holy Spirit made her have Jesus, so she must be the queen. Mary's the Queen of Heaven! The Holy Spirit Queen of Heaven!
*sigh* she is using great critical thinking skills, and regarding our faith - I can't deter that......ever!
A month or so ago, she asked me why there weren't any queens in Heaven. I asked her to clarify, and she was concerned that if we call God the "King" and Jesus the "Prince [of Peace]," who was/wasn't the queen and why.
Our minister, when I approached him, laughed and said, "You've got a budding feminist."
Well, that's not always a bad thing. *Knowing smile*.
A close friend of mine, who grew up in the church, had an immediate answer when I posed this dilemma to her: Tell her there are queens in Heaven - Queen Esther (OT) is bound to be there, as well as the other queens of Christendom who've reigned here on earth. Hey, great point!
So we had that discussion and finished it....so I thought.
Until Friday, the day of the sunlight/Sonlight conversation, when she asked again:
Mama, why aren't there any queens in Heaven?
Honey, we've discussed this. Remember there are queens in Heaven, like Queen Esther?
I wanna talk about this again! Queen Esther was just a person Mama. What about Queens like Jesus and God?
Well honey, I don't know.
Well, did Jesus have a wife that would have become a queen?
Not that the Bible mentions, so probably not.
Why? Why didn't He get married, that's weird - everybody should get married.
Well, but not everyone does......like Uncle Big'n'Tall, he's not married - Jesus was like that.
So, what about Jesus' mama? If God's a King, and Jesus is a Prince, well his Mama had to be a queen!
You mean Mary? You think she might be the queen of Heaven?
Well yaaaah! I mean the Holy Spirit made her have Jesus, so she must be the queen. Mary's the Queen of Heaven! The Holy Spirit Queen of Heaven!
*sigh* she is using great critical thinking skills, and regarding our faith - I can't deter that......ever!
Friday, August 18, 2006
I sent this to my Church and a few friends....I figured that it deserved to be here too.
Dear all,
I wrote the following prayer in my blog Wednesday night, after what was starting to be and has continued to be a hard week. For those of you who have trouble finding the words to pray, please use this as a guide.
We are 10 days and two volunteer training sessions out from the count, and I am being severely tested in all areas of life right now. But, today has been a blessing. Read the prayer and then I will elaborate how some things have been answered already.
Lord, help me [her] remember your touch and blessing on this project.
Help me [her] stay the course, cheerfully and persistently.
Rain down volunteers.*
Keep my [her] uneasy mind in a state of peace, for You are [her] my assurance.
Father, be with those who are critical - stirring their hearts so that they may see the true matters at hand, and let go of the trivial points. Quiet them on the unnecessaries.
Father, stir the hearts of business owners to be generous**, for I[she] so would love to be able to give our respondents something in return for them entrusting us with their personal information.
Father, these are your precious children.
Help me[her] to show them Your Face.
You've blessed me[her/us] so much, dear Abba.
And I [she] just want to share the wealth of the faith You've given me[her] with a community of hurting people.
Let this project be a quiet and loving testimony to that desire.
In Jesus' name....So be it
So....the answers (and let's just pray that they keep coming and don't stall out!)
* I got45, (ith the 5th being a prof at CSU who has classes of 200! And, he helped in the 1988 Colorado Homeless Count) new volunteers today
**I got an acceptance letter from Wal-Mart re:my request for donations. It is small, but it is a start
God works, and He works well....please cover me with protective prayers, so that the target Satan is shooting at is at least a moving [and hard to hit] one. :)
I love you all, and yes, I am emotional these days. Please be considerate of it, and don't take it personally if I'm emotional *at* you.
Love,
the Red-Headed Step-child
Dear all,
I wrote the following prayer in my blog Wednesday night, after what was starting to be and has continued to be a hard week. For those of you who have trouble finding the words to pray, please use this as a guide.
We are 10 days and two volunteer training sessions out from the count, and I am being severely tested in all areas of life right now. But, today has been a blessing. Read the prayer and then I will elaborate how some things have been answered already.
Lord, help me [her] remember your touch and blessing on this project.
Help me [her] stay the course, cheerfully and persistently.
Rain down volunteers.*
Keep my [her] uneasy mind in a state of peace, for You are [her] my assurance.
Father, be with those who are critical - stirring their hearts so that they may see the true matters at hand, and let go of the trivial points. Quiet them on the unnecessaries.
Father, stir the hearts of business owners to be generous**, for I[she] so would love to be able to give our respondents something in return for them entrusting us with their personal information.
Father, these are your precious children.
Help me[her] to show them Your Face.
You've blessed me[her/us] so much, dear Abba.
And I [she] just want to share the wealth of the faith You've given me[her] with a community of hurting people.
Let this project be a quiet and loving testimony to that desire.
In Jesus' name....So be it
So....the answers (and let's just pray that they keep coming and don't stall out!)
* I got
**I got an acceptance letter from Wal-Mart re:my request for donations. It is small, but it is a start
God works, and He works well....please cover me with protective prayers, so that the target Satan is shooting at is at least a moving [and hard to hit] one. :)
I love you all, and yes, I am emotional these days. Please be considerate of it, and don't take it personally if I'm emotional *at* you.
Love,
the Red-Headed Step-child
Heavenly Sunshine on My Shoulder
Yesterday, after the passive aggressive conversation, I left early to pick LMNOB up from school. A good family friend had done this Tues/Weds for me.
Soon as I saw her she ran, threw her hands up and squealed with a cheese-tastic smile, "Mommy, I LEARNED SPANISH today!!!!" She was thrilled, and I reciprocated the enthusiasm.
We went and picked Punkinhead up - where a rare and very touching display of mutual sibling affection was had for all to see. Wow, they really do love each other, -grin-.
We had errands to run and did them. On the way home, we took the back county roads. It'd been overcast all day, but as I looked west to the foothills (gloriously exposed on this non-developed stretch of land), the sun was peaking through a very dark cloud, but barely. The result was a vista appropriate for cinematography - a brilliant, silvery white disc of light behind the opening in this dark cloud, with rays of the same dazzling illumination shining down in ribbons over the mountains and green farmlands of the horizon. The kids were happily chattering in the back seat, but this, this had to be seen.
"Hey guys, look out LMNOB's window, look at the sky"
LMNOB: "*gasp* Holy," uh-oh brace yourself Mom, "Spirit!"
What a relief! "Huh?"
LMNOB: "It's like when Jesus was baptized, and the Spirit said He was pleased."
Well melt my little heart! But, why is it that they try to fool you so much of the time, making it seem like they don't hear/understand you, when they obviously get it!?! Nevermind - roll with it.
"Yeah, it is kinda like that. Do you think it's God's answer to that song we sing:"
"Yeah, sometimes that's all we ever really get to see here on earth, honey. But someday... I think this is God saying, 'Hey you had a rough day, but remember Me? See this beautiful world I created for you? I made it because I love you.'"
LMNOB, with awe and wonder: "Yeah....wow, Mommy." She may as well have said, "That's deep, man," at the end of that statement, as incredulous as she sounded, lol.
I felt my spirit lighten, as I thought to myself that I was sure glad I listened to my heart and took an early end to the day at work. I would have missed out on this.
As we turned and went down another rural lane, we passed a large expanse of wetland, with a sizable lake out past the reeds. LMNOB noted, "Hey that looks like the river where the baby was in a basket!"
"Do you mean the Moses baby?"
"Yeah! I think it's the same one!"
"Well, that river is clear on the other side of the world, but I bet you're right about how it looks."
"But how do YOU know, Mama?" said the voice in the back, now dismissing my input, which just moments ago was regarded as the deep thought of the day, as mere parental saying-so.
It's beginning.
I'm waiting for the day when she will tell me, "Mama, the teacher/book/kids on the playground said you're wrong....and it will progress in that order, you mark my words.
Soon other adults will override me, then the knowledge she can glean on her own, and finally, it will all be downhill from there when the peer group is deemed as the ever-knowing authority on EVERY thing.
I better get my say in when I can these days, eh?
Soon as I saw her she ran, threw her hands up and squealed with a cheese-tastic smile, "Mommy, I LEARNED SPANISH today!!!!" She was thrilled, and I reciprocated the enthusiasm.
We went and picked Punkinhead up - where a rare and very touching display of mutual sibling affection was had for all to see. Wow, they really do love each other, -grin-.
We had errands to run and did them. On the way home, we took the back county roads. It'd been overcast all day, but as I looked west to the foothills (gloriously exposed on this non-developed stretch of land), the sun was peaking through a very dark cloud, but barely. The result was a vista appropriate for cinematography - a brilliant, silvery white disc of light behind the opening in this dark cloud, with rays of the same dazzling illumination shining down in ribbons over the mountains and green farmlands of the horizon. The kids were happily chattering in the back seat, but this, this had to be seen.
"Hey guys, look out LMNOB's window, look at the sky"
LMNOB: "*gasp* Holy," uh-oh brace yourself Mom, "Spirit!"
What a relief! "Huh?"
LMNOB: "It's like when Jesus was baptized, and the Spirit said He was pleased."
Well melt my little heart! But, why is it that they try to fool you so much of the time, making it seem like they don't hear/understand you, when they obviously get it!?! Nevermind - roll with it.
"Yeah, it is kinda like that. Do you think it's God's answer to that song we sing:"
LMNOB: "Yeah, Mommy, it is like that! 'Cept for I don't see Jesus, just His light."Lord, let your light,
light of your faceshine o-o-on us....
"Yeah, sometimes that's all we ever really get to see here on earth, honey. But someday... I think this is God saying, 'Hey you had a rough day, but remember Me? See this beautiful world I created for you? I made it because I love you.'"
LMNOB, with awe and wonder: "Yeah....wow, Mommy." She may as well have said, "That's deep, man," at the end of that statement, as incredulous as she sounded, lol.
I felt my spirit lighten, as I thought to myself that I was sure glad I listened to my heart and took an early end to the day at work. I would have missed out on this.
As we turned and went down another rural lane, we passed a large expanse of wetland, with a sizable lake out past the reeds. LMNOB noted, "Hey that looks like the river where the baby was in a basket!"
"Do you mean the Moses baby?"
"Yeah! I think it's the same one!"
"Well, that river is clear on the other side of the world, but I bet you're right about how it looks."
"But how do YOU know, Mama?" said the voice in the back, now dismissing my input, which just moments ago was regarded as the deep thought of the day, as mere parental saying-so.
It's beginning.
I'm waiting for the day when she will tell me, "Mama, the teacher/book/kids on the playground said you're wrong....and it will progress in that order, you mark my words.
Soon other adults will override me, then the knowledge she can glean on her own, and finally, it will all be downhill from there when the peer group is deemed as the ever-knowing authority on EVERY thing.
I better get my say in when I can these days, eh?
Thursday, August 17, 2006
I HATE Passive Aggressive People!
Hi, I was calling about your agency's participation in the upcoming Homeless Count.
Oh is this the survey that Ladybug has been talking to us about? Because we've already said we're going to do that - she knows that.
Ladybug is overseeing the state's participation, whereas I am organizing our county information. There has been no communication from your agency, despite repeated attempts, and so that is why I'm calling. Training is mandatory for all service providers and/or volunteers administering the survey.
What? I didn't know that.
**at this point I want to throw my hands up in the air. My links in the e-mails that went to this agency's ED have plastered ALL over them the information re: training. Not to mention all of the newspaper press having mention of them.
Gently: Yes, this is per the state, or Ladybug's council, recommendation. (In other words, quit this petty little power struggle and PLAY BY MY RULES!!! Oh, yeah, but I'm the baby on the human services block 'round here, no one wants to be ordered around by a baby....)
Oh, well, if we must....SIGH.... It sure would have been nice to know this.
***OMGOSH!!! Have the e-mails that I have been cranking out, regularly since JUNE not made it?***
I hate this folks. I'm being questioned at every turn. Before long, someone will ask me if up is down and I will say,"Yes, I do believe it is." At which point, the folks carrying me into the looney bin will be reassured they have the right girl.
Oh is this the survey that Ladybug has been talking to us about? Because we've already said we're going to do that - she knows that.
Ladybug is overseeing the state's participation, whereas I am organizing our county information. There has been no communication from your agency, despite repeated attempts, and so that is why I'm calling. Training is mandatory for all service providers and/or volunteers administering the survey.
What? I didn't know that.
**at this point I want to throw my hands up in the air. My links in the e-mails that went to this agency's ED have plastered ALL over them the information re: training. Not to mention all of the newspaper press having mention of them.
Gently: Yes, this is per the state, or Ladybug's council, recommendation. (In other words, quit this petty little power struggle and PLAY BY MY RULES!!! Oh, yeah, but I'm the baby on the human services block 'round here, no one wants to be ordered around by a baby....)
Oh, well, if we must....SIGH.... It sure would have been nice to know this.
***OMGOSH!!! Have the e-mails that I have been cranking out, regularly since JUNE not made it?***
I hate this folks. I'm being questioned at every turn. Before long, someone will ask me if up is down and I will say,"Yes, I do believe it is." At which point, the folks carrying me into the looney bin will be reassured they have the right girl.
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