Thursday, December 28, 2006


Here I sit at the computer at 2:42AM. I've been up for over an hour.

Hoping that this surge of random wakefulness is little more than an attempt by my body to restore big word alert:homeostatic balance.

While we were in Craig for Christmas, I slept - a LOT. Bedtime usually hit about 11ish, and I generally slept til 8-8:30 most mornings there. And the napping, can't forget that. Much napping was had - and it was glorious! Somewhere along the line though, this making up for lost sleep time became sleep banking - apparently.

And instead of just keeping the excess slumber in rested reserve, my body decides to even the scales with a nice bout of insomnia.

It started out innocent enough.

A long day with the kids - some out and about with my sister (have I told you all how much I love her? I put her through kiddie hell today with my minions - poor girl.... tomorrow er, later today, I'll make it up to her - SPA baby, SPA.....), the rest assembling furniture, organizing the mountains of CRAP my kids have collected over the course of their very short lifespans (read: took out a buttload of trash, but shh...don't tell them!), frantically cleaning my post holiday home (read: trashhole) and preparing a nice steak dinner for my family plus all three of my siblings. I was BEAT by the time dinner, dishes, visits, and bedtime were done. And I fell asleep with no. problems. whatsoever.

Charlie Brown woke me for a little midnight rendezvous - which was VERRA nice. ;-) Afterward, the tryptophan effect had him sawing logs within minutes. I tried to fall asleep, but my brain was stuck in the "on" position now. Tossed, turned, counted pink sheep - except they kept turning black as a representation of my newly rediscovered role as family outcast...
disclaimer: any psychoanalysis of self is merely speculation and highly likely to be just me versus true reality.
At 1:40, I decided enough....might as well work up some tiredness, eh? Went downstairs, made some Evening Delight tea (sidenote: why in the HELL does Safeway Select's ripoff of Celestial Seasons' multipack have teabags in medical grade plastic wrap - inpenetrable by human fingers - instead of the same ole same ole PAPER wrapper???) which is supposed to be the same as Sleepytime tea, just different, cheaper label, unloaded the dishwasher, loaded the dirty dishes remaining in my sink into it, wiped my counters down, decided to sweep my nasty floors (a lot of dirt tracks in with snow, and with our blizzard last week, I wasn't about to clean it only to keep cleaning it as people walked in/out of the house), still not tired, so I figure what the hay and why not mop them? On the bright side - I think I found that 25th hour that mothers everywhere have been in search of?!? No? Well....yeah, I guess I like sleep too.

Which brings me here.

Now 3:10AM.

Still not tired, though would like to sleep.

Still have ideas flying through my head. Some involving blogging (hey - I was gone for 4 days - do you know how much blog fodder I have running thru this brain? A lot - stay tuned!), some involving more self psychoanalysis - which may not be psychoanalysis so much as it is completely psychotic since it appears to deviate from everyone else's perceptions - some involving the anticipation of next week's changes (FT job followed by the big steps in search of an MPA), and some rehashing the argument Chuck and I had the other night....ok, most. not some, are about that.

But wait....I like the homeostatic balance theory better. It sounds much more intellectual, far less hystrionic female, and just plain better. I don't want to be the drama queen plagued with consistent emotional angst. Yeah, homeostatic balance - just leveling the sleep bank to even.

My hands are freakishly dry right now and are BURNING....egads...manicure and pedicure spa style are just 7.5 hrs away....but to enjoy it, I must needs get myself to sleep.


  1. I did get some sleep, about 3:30 this morning. I woke shortly after 7, and was, oddly enough, pretty rested feeling. 10 hrs later though, I'm starting to feel it. I'm hoping for a GOOD night's sleep with NO interruptions - pleasant or otherwise ;-)