Friday, At Long Last

It's Friday - thank you, dear Lord!

It's been a long week, though a fairly productive one.

I've gotten myself to the gym a couple times (free membership almost over), but truthfully, I've been missing running in a natural setting. That is to say that my "natural" is paved and suburban (stroller friendly, remember) versus the craziness of true trail runners. Would that I could do that, but alas, my running time is limited to those times when I have the littlest one with me and, well, I ain't gonna strap a pappoose on me and give my child shaken baby syndrome via running. (Though in the sake of full disclosure, that probably wouldn't happen anyway as my pace is none so rapid, lol). All of this to say, I miss the cold[ish - as I cannot run well when the temp drops into the teens or below), I miss being able to listen to Slacker radio on my phone (the gym is a giant deadspot and I haven't figured out how to cache my station), I miss being able to go somewhere rather than the ever-moving-but-never-going-anywhere of the treadmill, and most of all I miss the fresh air. So, I will be kind of glad to be done there (I prepaid some childcare visits, hence the continuation!).

I've been trying to figure out just how involved I wish to become re: the turmoil of an organization I used to work with. Some other concerned persons have contacted me and on the one hand, it needs to be addressed since the organization deals extensively with putting people's lives back together; on the other hand, I'm not paid personnel and really have no authority anyway - so would it be a waste of time/energy? This one has me praying for wisdom, discernment, and balance.

We have money coming soon via our tax refund and that will help us dig out of the hole. I'm praying that we can get on the right track with it, give back to God, pay up on our debts and stand on fairly steady ground once again. In the interim, I have gone into full-on penny-pinching mode. I have made our bread this week instead of buying it at the store, and I made laundry detergent last night. Per above- I have had a pretty productive week, and thus, I'm here - blogging!

We had some friends of the family who were in an awful accident almost 2 wks ago and have been following their progress and keeping them in our prayers. The mother and two children were hit as they slid into oncoming traffic. The son was killed and the daughter only recently came out of her coma. Mom and Dad are physically ok, but are of course grieving the loss of their son. It's been wearying trying to put myself in their shoes and given me some perspective about how I've been dealing [or not] with my own personal struggles.

This reads kind of like a report - and I hate that, wishing instead that my writing was back up to snuff with my potential, that words like this would appear again:

... Alien contours of the Foothills, previously only attended to by me briefly in the due-south pavement pounding trip known as “going to Denver,” spread out right before me, dotted with remnants of snow, some wispy stratus clouds above and to the south, and a continuous wall of thick, white thunderheads that stretched on for miles to the north.

As dusk overcame the mountains, they took on the appearance of burnt camp-fire wood; the mountains dark and rugged, the spots of snow becoming gray-white ashes, with the amber glow of the sun dropping behind them - lending to the image of smoldering embers. The sky was the pristine blue of topaz, with the stratus clouds becoming opalescent; white with flecks of that palest blue, fiery pink, and molten orange showing through the translucencies. The thunderheads gleamed with whiteness.

I was so moved by it – and remember making a mental note to myself to re-capture this image with words – that I quickly breathed a prayer of thanks to my Maker, Maker of this sunset...

I'll find that mojo again someday. I'm praying that God will bless me with words again, and that He can work through my words - For now, the above is what "came" to me, so I figure I'll write what I've got and eventually I'll ease back into a flow.

Have a great weekend y'all!



© 2006-present Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

So Thankful

I'm so glad that yesterday is over and that Scripture tells us God's mercies are new every morning.

Yesterday was an insane day - I was jokingly terming it "Woeful Wednesday" in my head. Yes, it was. That. Bad.

I'd tell you all about it (and started to, actually) but it is a really long whine, and really don't we all get enough whining every day?

Suffice to say that I had bratty kids, went grocery shopping because our pantry was BARE, left my wallet at the store but didn't realize this until I'd pulled into a gas station because my low-fuel light was on, left to go get my wallet, and ran out of gas at a major intersection in rush-hour traffic.

Just one question? When did my life become a re-run of I Love Lucy? I mean seriously, between the stuff I've documented on NMM and this, I feel like I'm one comical scene away from being right there with Lucy and Ethel, including the dramatic Whaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh at the end of the day, lol.

So here's to humor and a great NEW day. I'm off to drink a pot of decaf coffee and get my laundry going.

© 2006-present Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Not Me Monday 1-25-10

Yes, it's Monday again, and yes I have plenty to tell you all what I have NOT been up to.

I have definitely NOT let my baby call a Pack 'N Play in our room his bed for the last 6 months instead of a crib. (His first bed was a proper cradle in our room). I definitely have NOT procrastinated on getting the crib assembled because all of the bedrooms were NOT in a state such that they would have failed a health and safety inspection. Not me, I'm a great housekeeper, I stay on top of things, and I have taught my children well in the tidying arena! (Hey, a girl can dream, right?)

I did NOT then, spend a whole day in Colton's room last Saturday, while Seth was working, cleaning and reorganizing furniture so that we could get the crib put up. Again, things are so neat and tidy that I barely have to do much to maintain our clean home! Because none of this happened, I did not have to call Seth at work to inquire as to where I might find an allen wrench (During said call I informed him I DO know what one is - just didn't know where they were making their home). And I didn't promptly go into the garage where he has a BUCKET of tools and other miscellania, find my allen wrench and proceed to assemble a crib, all by myself. I did NOT have any problems following instructions and was quite smug and pleased with myself when it was all put together. But then I did NOT notice a piece that was still out and realize I'd forgotten to put it in, oh, all the way back in STEP 2!!! *sigh* Right about then Seth got home (telling you, I did NOT spend ALL day in there!) and got that odd piece in and went to tighten my allen wrench screws. I did NOT hand him the TENT STAKE I'd used all along as an allen wrench, and we did not laugh at ALL about my sleep-deprivation induced stupidity. Seth did NOT remind me, "I know what an allen wrench is, I just need to know where they are!" Oy vey. Always an adventure.

In other life events, Kelsey is selling Girl Scout Cookies (and will be thru the end of February so if you want some, e-mail me!). Last Monday we went around the neighborhood and sold some cookies to the folks living in the townhomes. When we returned she wanted to call all of her relatives and sell over the phone. When we got to her Uncle Jared's phone number, I did NOT tell her it was "303- 619-xxxx" instead of "303-617-xxxx." Thus she did not speak to a TOTAL STRANGER. So I did NOT have the following conversation when she handed me the phone while I was cooking dinner that night:

"Hi!"

"Hi, this is Raleigh."

"What? Is Jared not there? Are you a friend?"

"Uh, no - your daughter just called me, Raleigh, and wanted to sell me some cookies."

:lightbulb:

"Oh, no! I told her 619, and it should have been 617! Oh, I'm so sorry, she meant to call her Uncle Jared!"

"Well, I'm a businessman and I thought she did a great job for a cold call - so I'd still like to purchase a box from her."

And I did NOT proceed to collect his mailing information so that we could then ship his box of cookies when we got them in.

Finally, the other night we did NOT start baths so late that Kelsey had to be in brushing her teeth while the boys bathed. (Kelsey and Colton are getting to that age where they really ought to give each other privacy when nude now). Colton was kicking water with his legs to splash Chritopher a bit (my shirt sleeves as well, I might add), and I did Not giggle when Kelsey glanced over and said, "Your penis looks like a bobble-head when you do that!" That would be immature and only serve to encourage future sayings of this funny little phrase. No, I remained calm and without response, so really I had NO idea why Colton proceeded to chant over and over that night "I have a bobble-head penis!" And I definitely did not have to suppress more laughs again while typing that story out. Because I'm more grown up than that.



© 2006-present Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Returned; Tomorrow's Troubles

Suffice to say that my protected post was re: a completely hypothetical scenario wherein I would be offered a job that was once [possibly still may yet be] on a list under the header of "Dream Jobs."

That post was highly impulsive and very much me thinking, not even thinking per se - more like conjecturing - out loud, given a recent turn of events.

I have NOT been offered a job.

The necessary events for me to be offered said hypothetical job have NOT yet even occurred, nor is it for sure that they would - but there is potential.

So you see, just me being wildly imaginative - and given this part of my post:

So – setting the stage…..

#1.) I shocked myself and everyone around me when I gave up put on hold my career aspirations to have a 3rd child and stay at home with him and be more present with my school-agers. It’s not been easy, but since when is sacrificing one’s self for the well-being of others, namely their loved ones, an EASY thing? I mean if it were so easy, we’d have more intact families, less greed, a kinder – more courteous society, etc, etc, right? Anyway, again, it has been the kind of hard that makes me feel as if each day I’ve run a mental marathon, given my bend toward validation, ambition, and accomplishment. Despite the inner turmoil of my constant shadow-boxing, there have been significant rewards. I’m watching Kelsey and Colton not only grow, but THRIVE. I get to see every little new thing (including Christopher’s first time at clapping a couple of weeks ago – so sweet!) that my baby is doing and not hear about it second hand. Most of all, I feel as if Seth and I have really grown together as a couple. I’ve felt God sending reinforcement to me every time I get weak and doubtful. Because there are those times. Especially when the money runs out – which it has done several times since we had a little monkey wrench thrown in for good measure with me getting gravely sick, sans insurance, last spring. Time after time I sit and look at the bills and say, “We have more expenses than income – this is NOT working,” and then an unexpected bonus comes at Seth’s work (or a loan that we’ve taken out, or me selling my maternity clothes, or etc) and we struggle to claw ourselves back up to heads [barely] above water. Right now that magic money that will catch us back up is our tax refund, so I vigilantly watch the mailbox for the last of the necessary tax documents to file our return. Again, despite the stress of all this, Seth and I remain close and are somehow (seriously, it is a mystery to me!) ok with each other and not mad or resentful toward the other for our current financial state. God is really blessing us in this area! But the checkbook looks bleak right now, to the point of me wondering about getting an overnight position somewhere to bring in some extra cash and yet not compromise the good thing we’ve got going at home.

Given that part, let's just say that I was stressed about finances right before this glimmer of probability even entered my mind - thus putting me in a suggestive state of mind re: the whole return to work idea.

Here's the thing - I don't really want to. There, I said it. I, a former Ms. Ain't No Man Gonna Keep ME Down Ain't No Kids Gonna Keep Me From Being Successful brand of feminist, have (despite some struggle with that former mindset + financial hardship + some strong-willed children) actually grown to love this SAHM gig. The duties are not so great sometimes, but the pay - seeing my kids THRIVE, having the energy and time to spend a whole day baking for a Girl Scout activity on a moment's notice (a whole other post of its own merit), reaching a new level of spiritual and marital fulfillment, etc., etc. - yeah, the pay is phenomenal.

After I wrote that post and actually thought more I realized, Oh yeah, summer daycare x 3 = no M-F 9-5 job will pay enough! Duh. And that's just a starting point of why it wouldn't actually work for me to go back to a day-job (FT or even PT). For now, at least. Not to mention the loss of all those other things I mentioned above (so many intangibles are wrapped up in the etc., etc., folks!) In a few years when Christopher is school-aged, it may make sense to reevaluate.

So...I spent a heck of a lot of time worrying about something that isn't even yet a reality (typical of me), sucked some of you all into it with me, and it was all completely needless, lol. I'm reminded of Matthew 6: 25-34 (Seriously I should tattoo this one on the back of my eyelids, I forget it all too easily), particularly verses 27 and 34 [emphases mine]:

²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^[a]?

....

³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

So....that's all on that for now. I'm done borrowing tomorrow's troubles - they are now returned to the worry library for other doubters to check out.



© 2006-present Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Introspection

Yesterday I received a few compliments on my NMM post I put up.

My initial reaction was, "Oh, wow, thanks - but...." and I proceeded to negate those compliments with various thoughts:

- I'm not as coherent as I once was

- My vocabulary has dwindled such that it is an insulting caricature of what it used to be, and I'm only as "good" as I seem because I rely heavily upon a thesaurus

- My posts have been either really fluffy or all woe-is-me mommy-blogging and didn't I used to be more interesting and, oh, happy, than that?

Et. Cet. Er. A.

You get the point, right?

It's no different than when someone says, "Wow, your hair looks great, and so shiny!" and you proceed to tell them that really you haven't. done. a. THING. to. it, and the luster they are seeing is caused by the 3 days you've had that haven't seen a shower.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why can't we just own a compliment and soak it up with grace and decorum?

I am especially prone to doing this, but I'm trying to work on it. It may seem cheesey, a bit Stuart Smalley for my tastes, but I need to affirm the truths of life - that is to say those things spoken positively about me as well as reminders of God's promises to me [and anyone else who follows Christ for that matter].

This re-wiring of the brain is sometimes called Flip Switch- ing, as coined by several New Age self-helpers, but really it's just substituting positive things for negative - pretty simple if you ask me, yet so terribly hard to implement!

At risk of sounding pathetic, here goes:

I am a good writer - talented even if I am to listen to my English teachers and various professors over the years.

I'd love to do something big with my writing someday, too. And that means I need to keep at it. Keep in practice, keep thinking on things that make my wheels turn, and keep on dreaming.



© 2006-present Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Not Me Monday: January 11, 2010

(I obviously did NOT start this on Monday and leave it in my drafts folder for days afterward!)

It's been awhile since I played along with Not Me Monday, but this week there were a fair amount of things that dealt a blow of conviction to my gut. And a few funnies. Perfect mix for Not Me Monday, eh? So without further ado....

Last week I definitely did not get so frustrated at my dishwasher (which has suddenly decided to rinse with water rife with all that chopped up bits of food it creates and therefore deposit a gritty, albeit[food] organic, silt-like substance on all my glassware) that I proceeded to handyman it myself. I certainly did not unscrew the lower rinse blade and pull out the perceived culprit, what appeared to have once been a cheesestick wrapper (thanks kids!) only to put it back together somewhat askew. Because none of this happened, there was not a huge increase in the volume of the dishwasher while running. I mean, this never happened because I would never, ever, attempt anything mechanical on my own, right? And then, I did not get freaked out by this hypothetical noise to the point that when Seth arrived home I surely didn't forget to greet him with words other than, "I think there is something really wrong with the dishwasher." Because I appreciate my husband as more than the appliance fixer! So, because I did NOT say that in a huff of frustration as Seth came thru the door, I don't know why he proceeded to say, "Well the bushing isn't on right," unscrew it and adjust only to rescrew it in. Too tightly, thus REALLY breaking the dishwasher as the part in qestion snapped in two. :sigh:

($5 bought a new part and it has since been reinstalled...the food grit is still, however, occurring. I am NOT frustrated wit this at all!)

On Friday, I did NOT impulsively jump on the facebook bandwagon and post my bra color as a status update without thinking it thru. Because I think more about those sorts of things, after all, right? Whoopsies.

Sunday morning after Christopher had the nastiest diaper known to moms (thank you spinach...I feel sorry for Popeye's mama now!), I did not contemplate using (and subsequently disposing of) a spatula to scoop the poop into the toilet because it was sooooo copious! (we're cloth diapering for all you disposable users going, 'toilet? huh?') Well, ok, maybe I did think that, but I certainly did not just toss the insert into the tub as I harriedly swished the nastiness in the toilet, because that would be lazy! And I didn't later toss it in the bathroom sink when I needed to shower, because the diaper pail is Just.Right.THERE.Outside.The.Door! And I definitely didn't put my finger in residual pooh when I finally went to put it in the pail, because I remember these things and handle all waste gingerly! :shudders:

I have not washed and rewashed the same load in my washer 3 4 times this week. That would be wasteful.

There are more things I have Not done, but it would take me another week to write them all out - enjoy!

© 2006-present Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Because I'm Lazy

So my sister is getting married in March.

And I am her maid (matron, technically, but we both think that word is woefully OLD sounding, which I of course am nothing of the sort!) of honor - and totally flattered to be considered such, too!

Most of the dresses for such a person as me are, uh, strapless.

Which presents a bit of a problem, as 1.) even though I have lost 30 lbs in the past 8 months (w00t!) I still have some chub on my arms, and 2.) between breastfeeding 3 kiddos and uh, the passage of time, well, gravity has not been kind suffice to say.

Today I began to tackle #1. Seeing as our temps have been FRIGID of late I have not been running as often as I'd like (averaging about 1x/wk - BOO!). So, I knew I needed an indoor venue. At mentioning such to a friend of mine, I was told that there was a local gym offering a free month's membership in the coupon mailer this month. And I was totally on it! This morning I was running on a great treadmill while Christopher chilled in the nursery (all the while doing great there). When I got done with my 30 min run, I said, "Hello, Mr. Dumbbell!" and proceeded to work my arms into jello. Bonus of this outing? Guaranteed shower for the day - at home, this is not always feasible. So I felt great and then looked and smelled great for the rest of the day, hurrah!

Now....problem solving for issue #2 is not quite there, but I'm sure there are strapless bras out there that are not torture devices, and may help with lift. Right? This is your cue, dear internets, to clue me into the great products out there - that great word-of-mouth advertising that mommybloggers tend to promote. Only caveat is BUDGET.

As for my title....well, I like to shop in a hunter-gatherer sort of mode. Meaning I like to know EXACTLY what I'm after, spy it and walk out with it. Not much for trying on millions of things, making an hours-in-the-making decision, and leaving unsure of whether I've got the right thing.

So, again, this is where I'm calling on you, dear readers with GREAT taste, who love to shop! Help me find a MOH dress!

• The dress must be green, in the sage or lighter variety (however, I do not look quite so hot in pastel shades, so the sagier the better).
• While I'm working on being able to pull off strapless, I'd love a cap sleeve or even straps, spaghetti or otherwise.
• Empire waist is a plus over fitted shapes, imo, for my shape
• I'm pretty evenly proportioned, not too pear shaped (though have a bit of a tendency that direction), so something that flatters curves of an average height
• I think tea length is more appropos than floor length given my build, but it's not a priority per se

Send in your links in the comments.

Thanks!



© 2006-present Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved