Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New Year's Eve!

Some people think New Year's Eve is an overrated holiday.

And for the most part, I'd agree that it is a silly, don't-you-wish-you-lived-in-New-York, overpriced, and overglitzed, get drunk-fest anymore.

But whacky American culture aside, I rather like what New Year's Eve is to me.

First off, it is an anniversary of a significant event in my life.

Charlie Brown proposed to me on New Year's Eve, some 10 years ago. (Yes, I was all of 18)

I will never forget that night.

I'd been hanging out at his apartment that day (holiday break - dorms were closed) while he was at work. I knew that we were going to go out with a couple we were friends with - who'd just gotten back from their honeymoon - but that was about it.

When he got home, he had a rose for me, and I of course thought it was sooooo sweet.

He asked me, "Where do you want to go?"

"How about Bennigans?" I suggested.

He raised his eyebrows and said, "Sure you don't want to go someplace nicer?"

"Nah, I've been thinking about hot wings all day. Mmmmmmm."

A dubious Charlie Brown said, "Okaaaay."

We left to pick up our friends, and they asked, "Where're we going?"

"Bennigans," I reported.

Heather (yes, we had the same name) goes, "Really? You're not going someplace nicer?"

I, clueless, said, "Sheesh, what is up with you people. You tell me to pick the place, I do, and then you don't like it?"

Charlie Brown said, "No, no, it's fine. Let's go to Bennigans."

So we went to Bennigans. And then we were seated.

We asked our friends about the honeymoon trip and how it felt to have a week of marriage under their belts. Charlie Brown started asking them how long they had dated before they got engaged (we only knew them as an engaged, then married, couple) - and we were surprised to find out they'd only dated for a matter of weeks before J popped the question.

"What about you guys - how long have you been dating?"

Charlie Brown and I answered simultaneously, "Just over 2 years."

"Well, do you ever think about it? Getting married?" J prompted.

We had had a fleeting conversation about the future and what ifs the New Year's Eve the year before - on the phone, while I was babysitting my siblings - and prohibited from having visitors. But ifs and whens were left in the air.

Charlie Brown and I recounted this conversation to our friends, he and I giving a play by play in an animated volley of "Then I said....,"s.

I was so engrossed in telling this story that I didn't even seen Charlie Brown get out of his seat and onto his knee.

Towards the end of this account, I heard Charlie Brown say, "And then I said, 'Heather, will you marry me and spend your life with me?'"

I looked over, to say "No you didn't!" and stopped short - he was on his knee, with a ring. He hadn't asked me last year, but he was asking me now!

"Oh my GOD!! Yes!" I shrieked. And there was kissing and giggling and excitement from there.

So, yeah, New Year's Eve is always a fun memory because of that.

Secondary to the sentimental value of the night is that it has become a night of fun, friends and family for us. It is not uncommon for casa del Meyer to be brimming full of friends and family, playing games, hanging out and eating good food.

Which is what we'll be doing tonight.

Happy New Year, all!

Sunday, December 30, 2007

So, Hammy walks into a bar...

Today Charlie Brown and I figured that hot wings sounded good for dinner.

It ain't the new year yet - shush it.

So, we called the bar around the corner from our house and put in a to-go order.

I am not a bar-goer, never have been (something about getting knocked up shortly after one's 21st b'day that puts the kabash on barhoppin') really. Aside from the occasional drink with dinner out, I prefer to drink at home.

I walked in to what looked like a slow night - five, maybe seven patrons watching football at the bar. I informed the female of the staff that I was the to-go order and she replied that it was almost ready, about another minute for the fries.

I looked around. And noticed a sign that said:

Sexual harassment is not reported here - but it may be graded.

Niiiiiiiiiice.

Right about then, one of the bartenders, a middle aged man who appeared to have been drinking as much or more than his customers, glances over and says, "Well, shee-it, if she ain't a redhead!"

I smiled out of the corner of my eye and said, "Yup, that's me."

He got all clever-like, tilted his head and drawled, "Through and through?"

The woman apologized profusely - "It's not normally like this."

I told her it was ok, that I'd been dealing with this question since junior high.

I put my best seductress look on, batted my lashes and said, "Yes, sir, through. And. Through. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to my husband and have a little fun tonight." Wink.

Then, I sashayed outta there, enjoying the fact that the drunken bartender's jaw now hung slack.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Peace Takes Courage

I saw this notion on a bumper sticker while driving home from work last week.

It couldn't have been a more fitting little adage for what I'd been dealing with.

Last Monday, while home with the sick kiddos, I checked into work via e-mail, as I often do so as to avoid using a full 8 hours of sick time each pop.

An e-mail from the City Mgr was present in my inbox. It was a forward of a business owner's seemingly reasonable suggestion that the temporary homeless shelter be monitored more closely, as he'd had some littering occur on his property since the time of the shelter's operations. City Mgr asked me to forward on to the appropriate volunteer shelter personnel.

Which I did.

I and the City Mgr received a response from the daytime coordinator, an intelligent and very compassionate man - almost to a fault - in which he nit-picked re: the original complaint's incorrect grammar, and basically called the business owner ignorant, since legal precedents about "loitering" were not at the fore of the man's mind. I might add, that I too was ignorant of these specifics, and I continue to work in this realm. He did seek to rectify the complaint - which was good, but lost amidst the other defenses, in my opinion.

After a phone call the next day, in which the shelter operator claimed the business owner would have had to be making it up due to the logistics involved, I responded with a carefully crafted, prayed over, response - urging the shelter operator to speak directly with the business owner before speaking or writing more about this man to others. I reminded him that the business owner was not hostile to the shelter in his message, just would like to see some closer monitoring - and that the proponents of the shelter ought to seize the opportunity to maximize similar values re: the shelter in the community, rather than act defensive - thus alienating the community at large and enhancing the differences in persepectives.

He continued to advocate.

To myself I was like, "Dude - you are preaching to the choir!" And it made me sad.

Because while other people tend to think being bold, assertively advocating for those less fortunate, is courageous, I've come to the conclusion that it is not.

You see - perception is relative, and yet it is perception that gives each of us our reality.

When someone tells another that what they perceived with their own senses isn't real - that's harsh. Why don't you just call someone a nut job or better yet, a big fat liar? Also, I read somewhere once (or more) that a harsh word stirs up anger.

Listening to other perspectives takes work, particularly if they don't jive with those we hold near and dear. But it is work well worth investing in - because if people feel heard, feel considered, they are apt to listen in return.

Gentle diplomacy, the fine art of blending nuance, courtesy, and education into a sweet package, turns away wrath, or so I read. It is the way of the peacemaker, and it takes a lot of courage.

Peace takes courage because it means sometimes letting go of me being right and having faith that all things will be made right, eventually.

Peace takes courage because it means releasing the hold on my own understanding and having to ask for help from the One who told us to seek His Ways.

Peace takes courage because it is branching out into subjective territory rather than the American safeguard of "just the facts, ma'am."

I bristled when the shelter coordinator told me that he is familiar with being both advocate and diplomat; however, the two are not compatible. I couldn't disagree more. I think one is the best advocate when s/he can be diplomatic about the cause in question. Have we confused advocate with martyr? Because I think that dying upon our swords of conviction leaves the cause with a dead martyr, one who is no longer able to advocate for its furthering. Who does that help?

I think in America we have lost sight of this marriage between advocacy and diplomacy. Advocacy has decided prematurely that she don't need that old man Diplomacy no more. As a result, we are a litigious and adversarial society, regardless of what side of a cause we sit on - make no mistake, though, we are someone's enemy.

Negotiations, compromise, and diplomacy take too much time. And time is money these days. But by looking for the quick fix, beat them before they beat me answer, found by being the loudest and the rightest, are we spending more money in the arguments than we would by taking our time finding the solutions?

Why can't we reach across party lines and work together?

Why can't we look creatively at social issues and use the same means to different ends? Or vice versa?

Why can't we agree to disagree or even try good ole fashioned compromise?

Because peace takes deep courage.

And we Americans have turned into surface lions with the innards of chickens - with no courage to be found, only chicken shit.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Each Thought As Unique as Individual Snowflakes

In other words - this is a hodge podge bullet point post.

1. Sneezin's Greetings and Yule-tide Bless You's - I caught some sort of a flu-ish thing and it was AWWWWWWWWWWWWful. Nothing is quite as festive as freezing with fever on Christmas morning while opening gifts with one's family. And then sleeping for 16 hours. Oh, and yes, I did get a flu shot this year, lot of good it did me.

2. LMNOB and Punkinhead went iceskating - and it was fun. And surprising as to which of my children not only did okay, but excelled at this activity - which was a pleasant surprise. For all of us. Notice who is on his knees in the second picture. As for me - hoo b oy, I'd forgotten how much of a strain skating is on one's feet. Especially carrying 40lbs of excess weight - ahem, :cough: resolution.

3. I am so glad that I am a trend savvy person. Upon arriving at work today, all of the cars in the row I normally park were backed into their spots. Sensing this was a good thing, I too finagled with all the skill I could muster from driver's ed days, and backed into my spot. At 5 o'clock, I was grateful, seeing that an additional 4 inches of snow and drifting from the snowbank had buried the back half of my car. Had I been the other way around, I may have had a difficult time getting in.

4. While both my Mom and MIL said they were downsizing Christmas this year, we still have a crap ton of stuff here at casa del Meyer. Liars.

5. Charlie Brown and I went snow-shoeing for the first time Saturday. It was fun, albeit a reminder of what a fat, out of shape chica I have become, and absolutely gorgeous:


See?Then there's me who is dead sex-ay. Why yes, those are clip ons on my glasses. Classy, classy babe that I am.

6. I think my web funk at work is solved - html dummy that I am, the IT guy and I put our heads together and figured it out, sans FrontPage. Microsoft bastards.

7. Charlie Brown kind of screwed the pooch today. Man, here I am all loving and appreciative of late, oh and SICK as a frickin' dog, and he had today (and tomorrow) off with the kids, while I WORKED. Came home, and the house is still looking like Christmas threw up all over our house, and he's. PLAYING. X-box. And still played while I unloaded groceries and cooked dinner! Grrrrrrrrr.............. It would have been so lovely to come home to a clean-ish home with laundry washing, floors cleaned and things put away neatly. In my dreams. Oh well, the kids were alive - that's what counts right?

8. LMNOB got a karaoke machine for Christmas from my mom - and we all had fun with it tonight. I got a kick out of seeing LMNOB jivin' with the beat of the songs she knew. She keeps at it, and she could be a little diva. Charlie Brown is so not a tenor, lol. He needs to stick to bass, but there's no singing karaoke with a bass voice. Punkinhead, while not enthralled with the lyrics, is something of a prodigy when it comes to melody - he kept singing the songs, note for note, except the words were all "poopy, stupid, poopy poopy." Such a button pusher...and he knows it - this is the grin I see several times a day
Well - that's all for now. More later...

Monday, December 24, 2007

Move over Rudolph...make way for Mars

I guess tonight's celestial view is going to be quite something.

Which is cool and all, but I really, seriously wonder if the screenwriters on strike helped Miami , Space Transit Planetarium director, Jack Horkheimer, come up with the witty song pieced throughout the article:

Mars is a red-tinged planet
With a very shiny glow
And if you look to see it
You will find the moon in tow.

All of the other Yuletides
Santa would have at his side
The shiny nose of Rudolph
Acting as his big sleigh's guide

But this very Christmas Eve
Santa came to say:
"Rudolph, now with Mars so bright,
You can stay at home tonight."

Then all the reindeer teased him.
And they shouted out with glee:
"Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
Outsourced to astronomy."

Because, truly that last bit about outsourcing is remniscent of The Daily Show, rather than some off the cuff composition by a space geek.

Makin' Staples Proud

I love their Easy Button concept.

So much so, that a few months back, I had Charlie Brown buy me one. It is the conversation piece of my desk.

And, because things are rarely easy at work, it often gets used in two distinct forms:

1. The Wistful - this is the pushing of the button prior to a meeting, sort of a superstitious/getting my game face on rite that I use to tell myself, it will be what you expect it to be.

2. The [more frequently used] Sarcastic Vent - this is the pushing of the button post facto, because it makes me laugh. And if I didn't laugh, I'd cry.

Now....moving right along....

Punkinhead could actually be interchangeable with Shithead (I do really love my son, but these things can't be ignored, they happen) these non-structured, holidazey, crazy past few weeks. This is as much attributable to crappy parenting as it is to his stubborn nature, because in all the hustle and bustle, if Mommy and Daddy are too tired to put the kabash on bad behavior, well, we just don't.

We are due to return back to our regularly scheduled regime next week.

Today, he was in top form again, having been spoiled and kept up late and waking up early for 3 days in a row now. After church he was a brat at lunch. At home, he was testing all the limits.

MIL and I left to do some shopping. And then came back.

Loveable, aggreable Punkinhead, (snort!) fussed about the cartoon on the channel. He pouted and pouted, "I don't wike dis show! Grunt, grunt, grunt."

FIL tried to tell him how it was. Now....FIL is very old school. He and I come from similar backgrounds, but let's just say that his two faced coin is much more inclined to the temper side than the peacemaker side. I do have very strong sides on either face of the same coin, but I strive for a more balanced approach.

So...when he got in Punkinhead's face and tried to reprimand him, Punkinhead retaliated and kicked at him.

FIL's eyes narrowed and his face got red as he raised his voice and his arm came out. Now, at the time, it looked like he swatted at Punkinhead's mouth as Punkinhead said "No."

I am not against physical punishment - but I have never understood a swat for a physical outburst - seems to me a mixed message, and I have NEVER thought it acceptable to strike in anger as opposed to structured rules, warnings and then follow-thru as needed in order to create a negative association with the behavior in question.

Am I perfect at implementing my values?

No.

But my kids know that it is exceptional to the rule when I lose my temper in such a fashion. And that is important to me. I never want it to be the rule that Mom is over the top with physical punishment. Or any adult in their lives for that matter.

I about lost it. I have before, on my brother. I would not remain quiet on the issue. Could not - especially since my brother had taunted me, "If your IL's had done what I did, you would never have gotten upset." Bull crap, I'd said then. Bull effin' shit, I said tonight.

But, before I knew it, Punkinhead was retaliating more, and I intervened, swooping him off to time out. Punkinhead was noncooperative little snit while I tried to talk about how both had been wrong but he still needed to think about what he had done that was wrong.

It didn't help that I had the worst gas ever, and Punkinhead would refuse to talk to me on the grounds that I was too stanky. It was hard to keep a straight face at that, too, which only made it worse.

By the time Punkinhead had been thoroughly lectured by me (during which time, he got soap in his mouth for telling me no repeatedly, and a swat for repeatedly trying to run away - both despite abundant warnings) Charlie Brown and FIL had gone to a store.

Which gave me time to think. And fret. You see, FIL is also a defensive sort. Nothing is ever his fault. How would this go over? Would I be the Grinch who stole the Meyer Christmas?

I was still thinking on it when they got back.

It was when Punkinhead got a little attitude again and FIL said, "Punkinhead, you keep doing that and I'm gonna wop you."

I said, "You will not, with me sitting right here. And, because you just said that, we DO need to go have a chat, because I need to talk with you about tonight."

MIL warned, "Not in front of the kids." Which I understand, but give me a bit of credit, please?

We went into the back room. Mentally, I did The Wistful. I calmly stated my stance, framing it with the context of my earlier problem with my brother, and basically said that I have no problem with reasonable discipline, but threats in front of me, before I have had a chance to address the issue does not work, nor does taking matters into his own hands, especially when it is anger, rather than true teaching discipline.

He was cool. He apologized. He did try to rationalize a little bit - and soften some of his history (he RARELY spanked Charlie Brown? I have been a part of this family for 12 years - I know better than that) but really? Truly?

That was easy.

I have a new move for the button - The Legitimately Easy.

Thank God for Christmas miracles.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown!

Here are your props, to be shared with the blogosphere:

You have been such a blessing to me this month. In a season where many couples get cranky and petty with each other, you have steadied me and kept my head above water. You have added color and humor to my world in times of constant and busy blurs.

Specifically....

At my work division's Christmas party (a lovely night of dinner theatre with the highly entertaining and visually pleasing Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat) when they did the popularity contest, (i.e., the top three employees of the year for the division, one of whom was totally a queen bee) and my name was not listed, you loudly (well, loudly to those within earshot) proclaimed,


"That's ok, I will make her her own plaque, and it will say,

"My girl not only did a kick ass job as a full-time City employee, coordinating three, count 'em, three, monumental and interdepartmental efforts through which the City has come out as the good guy, helping the homeless; but she also went to graduate school.

Full time.

And took care of me and our kids.

She's Superwoman, ya'll."


Awwww.......Isn't that the sweetest?

And then, after my stint of sweating blood for a paper, I worried about it being the best that it could be, and you said, without batting an eye:


"Honey, you were a part of it and that alone will mean that it will be impeccable."

Now, Charlie Brown, I am in no way accusing you of being a caveman, but impeccable is not in your everyday vocab - I have only heard you use the term in the context of superior hot rods, and to know that you put your confidence in me at that rank, well, it was very comforting.

Finally, the other night when we arrived at your parents' house, your mom said,

"Heather, I still haven't gotten that picture from you that we took at Thanksgiving. You said you would e-mail it to me."

And before I could answer, you jumped in as my white knight, "Mom, after the month she's had, I'm just glad she is still alive. She's been through an amazingly stressful time with school and work, let alone all of the holiday stuff. We didn't even do Christmas cards. You'll get the picture, ok?"

And my heart just melted.

You get me.

You love me.

You admire me.

And I just hope you know that this kind of reassuring solidarity is why I get you, love you, and admire you, because truth be told, I don't know if I would have been so patient with me if I had been you.

Friday, December 21, 2007

'Tis a Sad, Sad Day for the Overachiever in Me

I went to the school's online site for final grades for, oh, probably the zillionth time this week, even though, technically, grades were not due from professors until yesterday.

And behold! The gods of Impatience and Anxiety heard my pleas - Grades were posted!

Policy and the Public Process.........................B+ = 9.90 GPA points
Updated: Apparently we do not round up in graduate school grading...I got an 89.8%, and a 90% is an A-. 0.2%age points!!! Ok, I'm over it.

Managing Conflict and Change.........................B+ = 9.90 GPA points

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bringing my once illustrious 3.9 cumulative GPA down to a mere 3.66.

So, if a B is not for bad, does it hold that a B+ is not for SuperBad?

Truly, I kid. Truly!

Seriously ya'll, I know that I am skimming political treatises with expert eyes, serving the public with rarely found diplomacy and compassion, meeting special needs and just "normal" ones of my family, and more.

:cue the trumpets: I am SUPERWOMAN.

The fact that I'm doing all of it is huge in itself - why diminish it with lofty expectations (read: and thus the unsurprising failure to reach) of perfection?

Not to mention that I dealt with extended sickness, craziness at work, and one whack-job of a partner on a final project this semester - and I am feeling A-OK with my B +s.

Seems as if the real life slightly outweighs the academic life.

And, while I may have made B+s on my grades, I got "Exceeds Expectations" on 3 out of 4 categories on my performance eval at work - translating to a 4% raise!

Thursday, December 20, 2007

The Christmas V. Holiday Debate

I received this great e-mail the other day. It’s timely, given all of the hullabaloo about the Reason for the Season, Keeping the Christ in Christmas, etc. Obviously, some man or woman wrote this – but I believe s/he was Divinely Inspired as this was written.

Please note, that the whole timing of Christ’s birth thing is not reason enough for me to just not celebrate, but it does kind of put things in perspective, eh? I also agree that we shouldn’t have to de-personalize the holidays with those to whom we are close. My Jewish friends received “Happy Hanukkah” greetings from me, as opposed to the blanket, “Happy Holidays,” msg. I celebrate Christmas, as do a lot of other people, Christians and otherwise – and c’mon, let’s call a spade a spade, right? But, I do see where in business practices, it would be exclusive and possibly offensive to single out a particular celebration over the other – and can see where Happy Holidays suffices - Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah are all culturally holy days – from which we get the word holiday. Not to mention that New Year’s Day is a recognized secular holiday, and it often gets lumped in too.

Anyway, without further ado -

Letter From Jesus Christ, concerning His birthday celebration:

It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season. Maybe you've forgotten that I wasn't actually born during this time of the year, and that it was some of your predecessors who decided to celebrate My birthday on what was actually a time of pagan festival. Just sayin’, although I do appreciate being remembered… Anytime.

How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. Or whether it is celebrated on December 25th or July 25th. And remember, while a birthday is nice for us all, if the rest of the year does not communicate love and devotion to the person you're celebrating, the birthday becomes little more than a farce.

If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER. I know, I know, you are all going to say, “But, but, but, that is such a tall order – how are we ever going to do that?” Simple. Allow Me to help you.

Now, having said that let Me continue:

If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of the Santa's and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn. If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.

Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can & may remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching explaining who I am in relation to you & what each of our tasks is. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1-8.

If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it.

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3. Instead of writing George complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up. It will be nice hearing from you again.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.

5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her. Again, I will help if you are stuck on this one.

6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile. It could make the difference. Also, you might consider supporting the local Suicide Prevention Hot-Line: they talk with people like that every day.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families.

8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary, especially one who takes My love & Good News to those who have never heard My name. You may already know someone like that.

9. Here's a good one. There are individuals & whole families in your town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them (and I suspect you don't) buy some food & a few gifts & give them to the Marines, the Salvation Army or some other charity which believes in Me & they will make the delivery for you.

10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. And we all know that talk is cheap. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.

Just love Me & do what I have told you to do.

I'll take care of all the rest.

Trust me,I'll help you.

And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love, and remember,

I LOVE YOU!
Jesus

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Been Caught Stealin'

Sunday night, we had a Christmas party at our house.


One of our guests made these lusciously delicious pumpkiny cream cheesy rolls of heaven. At first bite, Charlie Brown moaned with ecstasy, "Ohh these are phenomenal!"

And oh, how they were, but I digress...

************

Yesterday, after the fevers broke, LMNOB was playing princess or some other such make-believe. When I heard her say, "Oh, that is simply phenomenal!" in her breathy, pseudo-accented voice that she adopts while getting her role-play on, I chuckled, and said, "Do you even know what phenomenal means, honey?"

Pause.....

Little bitty LMNOB voice, "Well....no..."

It pleased me to hear LMNOB experimenting with language, to know that she is pilfering vernacular from her surroundings only to take a stab at the context in her play activities.

"Do you wanna know what it means?" I asked, coaxing her with a smile.

Her eyes lit up - and her head bobbed vehemently.

"It means something is unbelievable, great, fantastic. INCREDIBLE," I added, with emphasis. "So, know what this means then?"

Shrugs.

"You were using it in the right way!"

And that, my friends, is the most appropriate case for thievery I've seen in a long time.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Sick days...

Kids had fevers, sniffles, and sore throats today.

I was tired.

So we are home today.

Ahhh rest....maybe the weary will find it at last, eh?

Friday, December 14, 2007

What Goes Up Must Come Down....

Sunday, LMNOB was AwEsOmE - our church group had signed up to volunteer, manning the posts at a couple of grocery stores for the local Food Bank's food drive.

The idea was to ask people if they would like to pick up a few nonperishable items and put in a Food Bank sack, to drop off in a barrel after they checked out.

In attempt to give her some practice with confrontational speech, I asked LMNOB if she would like to ask incoming customers if they would like to help the Food Bank out. I went before her, showing her how easy it was - only to be rejected with a lame-o excuse. She saw the challenge in becoming a better salesperson than Mommy, took it and ran with it!

She did great - and scored 2 barrels full of food for the Food Bank! She was so proud afterward, as were we - a fact which required copious amounts of praises from us - and practically floated on cloud 9 all day that she had done something brave and worthwhile in order to serve as the hands and feet of Christ.

Enter this week....

We are in post-finals, harried Christmas planning mode - and have been very off of our routine. The only sensory activity that we have been doing is having her wear the weighted vest in the mornings and evenings. Plus whatever she gets at school. But, it having been colder than a witch's heart (sorry to any Wiccan friends) lately, the kids have had limited recesses outdoors - and so suffice to say that LMNOB's gotten shafted in the sensory realm of late.

We had OT today and she was really into it - we had a great session.

Tonight, we went to do some Christmas shopping. LMNOB had been telling me about these special baby doll twins that she'd seen and has since elevated to numero uno item on The List. I had told her that we could look at them, but since Christmas was in just a little bit, there was no chance that we would buy them tonight.

After dinner and a few stores tackled - we went to Target. And she showed me the dolls. And then when we made her part from them, she went into psycho, bloody murder screaming mode. After it became clear that we were not capable of calming her down, Charlie Brown hefted her raging, flailing body over his shoulder, grabbed Punkinhead and hurried out of the store. I had to pick up her snow boots, as they shot off her feet while she was kicking. This was such a tantrum of mythic proportions, that she was heard throughout the store, and people peeked around every corner, just to ensure we weren't beating the poor girl to death.

Then, I went and picked up the Santa items, and paid. As I sat the snowboots down while I paid, the cashier asked if I'd like a bag for the boots.

I replied, "Sure, that'd be great. They're my daughter's and would still be on her feet had she not been throwing a royal fit - my husband took her out to the car."

"Ah, so that was yours?" Eyebrows raised.

"Yup. My pride and joy that one. Merry Christmas!"

Welcome to the life - all over the map behavior. And who knows when all hell is going to break loose. Or where.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Another Meme or Soul Searching?

Niki has some big questions up at her place - brought to you by the angry mobs of people who came out of the woodwork with her scrutinizing, SEEKING, insights re: The Golden Compass.

I am going to attempt to answer...it may have to come in installments, but here goes nothing...
  1. What does it mean to be a follower of Christ? I believe it means someone who is seeking to reconcile their earthly lives with the purpose of the soul - to find Christ as the missing piece between you and the God of all things. Once having realized this, a follower strives to know Christ, to know His teachings and follow them through a life of devotion, study, service to others, and above all, radical acts of love.
  2. Does it mean that everyone who is has to have the same core beliefs? If so, what are they? I used to think this was yes. I used to think it was some kind of profession of faith, that we all had to agree on a common denominator - Jesus is/was the Son of God. What I'm finding is that appearances aren't everything - some people have fruits of the spirit in their lives without going through the "necessaries." What I think now, is sure, there probably are core beliefs that are irrefutable in God's eyes - but I need to quit looking for the harvest (i.e. that someone has come to the same conclusions that I have and is, thus, saved) and put more faith in the sowing of seeds (and allowing God to work the hearts of others).
  3. What does it mean when we can’t agree on what the core beliefs are? What does it mean? In a few words; Division, Confusion, War. What should it mean? That God has opportunity to work in diverse understandings.
  4. Can two believers be convicted by different things? Absolutely - and neither one is "wrong" per se.
  5. Can two believers be convicted by different things when the focus is on the same subject? Yes. And again, neither one necessarily has to be wrong - the Bible recognizes these as "disputable matters." Paul acknowledges that they are bound to come up, but that they should not become the point of our devotion, lest we totally miss the mark.
  6. How should I handle conflict when I disagree with another believer about a conviction? I believe that we can agree to disagree, but often don't. I first ask myself what my motivations are to discuss this difference of opinion are - do I wish to justify questionable behavior; do I wish to "win;" do I wish to gain approval? These are not good reasons, and if any are the underlying reason I am pressing for discussion - then I should just keep quiet. If I wish to understand, to seek perspective, then there is room for dialogue.
  7. Can we still be friends, or have I just made an enemy or lost my witness with them? Solely on the presence of disagreement? Or because of the things said about this disagreement? I think if only a difference of opinion is present, then by all means, nothing is lost! If harsh words, judgment, pride, etc. have at all entered in, then yes, it is possible that one person may feel attacked and the relationship could be damaged.
  8. Is it my responsibility to make someone choose Christ? Absolutely not. We cannot force choice on anyone...Is it my responsibility to represent Christ in all things spoken and unspoken in my life when with this person? Sure...thus the seeds are scattered.
  9. If someone hasn’t made that choice yet, what is my responsibility then? See above. If that person is not ready to even question, our responsibility is not to force the issue, but to aid in the ripening of the heart.
  10. What does it mean that it takes some longer than others to make that choice - if they ever do? Different circumstances, different experiences, personalities, etc....but in the end, God knows that and I do not. I have to trust that He's in control.
  11. How should I treat someone that hasn’t or doesn’t want to choose Christ? As good as you would treat yourself. Love your neighbor as yourself is not written, "Love your similar-believing neighbor as yourself." Thus we treat unbelievers the same as anyone else - with love, respect, compassion, patience, and all that other good stuff.
  12. How do I show compassion towards others? I don't think that there is a formula for compassion, and I know that different things "speak" to others - but I know that gratitude, reservation of judgment, and consideration for others are a few things that tend to carry a lot of weight.
  13. Can I choose to look for God and his message in all things? Of course. We often don't though. We as finite human beings place finite standards on an infinite God.
  14. What do I do if I find Him in something not meant to be about Him? Praise God -

______________________________

More later....
What do I do if I can’t find Him in something not meant to be about Him?
What do I do if I can’t find Him in something meant to be about Him?
What is the difference between dialog and debate?
Is it my job to change people’s minds if they don’t agree with me?
What is the proper way to handle being told I’m not really a Christian?
Who is my enemy?
What is judgment and how often am I guilty of doing it to others?
What is the phrase, “causing your brother to stumble” really about?
What is the meaning behind the scripture about whether or not it’s o.k. to eat meat sacrificed to idols?
What is fantasy/fiction and is it o.k.? (Fantasy as in characters and situations that don’t exist in our world)
Is it o.k. to think about things through the lens of fantasy fiction that wouldn’t be o.k. in real life? (magic, ghosts, witches, etc)
What does it mean to explore life, human nature, spirituality, and how they are intertwined?
If I’m displeasing to another believer does that mean I’m displeasing to God?
Is it o.k. to have questions about and struggle with faith?
What kind of spirit did God give me and why?
Are my sins covered by Jesus’ blood or not?
Can they be uncovered once they’ve been covered ?
What does it mean to work out my salvation with fear and trembling?
What do I look like to other believers?
What do I look like to unbelievers?
Am I loving as Jesus loved?
Do I have the right or responsibility to rebuke the pharisees around me?
Is that a form of judgment?
Why is it important to me to dialog with other believers?
Am I surface or am I deep?
What am I doing to bring the kingdom of God to those around me?

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

IT. Is. FiNiShEd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel like I have been put thru the wringer, but by golly, the Fall 2007 semester is

O.V.E.R.
And guess what?
Because I was waived for the internship requirement, because of my work history, I am HALFWAY done with my MPA already!!!

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

On Sensing a Pattern in Her Sensory Issues

LMNOB has a great vocabulary. She's a great reader and she's very creative in making her own stories/songs/poems up.

The girl is smart.

And, at home, she is a talker. Between her verbose tendancies, Punkinhead's desperate atttempts to get some of the attention on HIM, and my yakity-yak Charlie Brown, we are all usually talking at the same time, attending to multi-layered conversations.

All the noise drives me bonkers.

But, I'm putting all this out there because despite her definite ability for communication, BT the OT and I have noticed something about LMNOB's communication that is fairly consistent.


While LMNOB is a great one-way communicator when it comes to things "off the top of her head," she struggles to interact in sociable, two-way communication. Especially when things are asked of her, requiring a concerted effort to provide a relevant answer to what has just been questioned. Similarly, she has always struggled to ask questions that are of an assertive nature - like, "What's your name?" and other questions that require a response. This decreased ability in "confrontational speech" is exacerbated when the other party is not familiar to LMNOB.

Complicating this pattern, is that it is somewhat inconsistant. I.e., in the classroom, when a question is raised about a concept, she participates - but I'm not sure if that is different because the question is to everyone?

Last Monday, I got a call from Ms. M, LMNOB's teacher, after school.

As the call began like this, "Uhm, hi, Heather. I just wanted to let you know that there was an incident with LMNOB at school today," my heart sank into my gut.

Apparently, some kids had gone to the teacher on playground duty and said, "LMNOB kicked us!" but since the teacher had not actually seen it, she went to go ask LMNOB for her side of the story.

Said teacher was a kindergarten teacher that LMNOB did not know. So she ran from her. Then refused to talk, when questioned. Because what LMNOB did fell into "defiant and uncooperative" behavior, the teacher wrote LMNOB a pink slip. When Ms. M took LMNOB out of the room to try and determine what had happened, LMNOB remained non-responsive.

Ms. M continued, saying how this was so unlike the people pleasing LMNOB that she knew, and that she wasn't sure if she should automatically chalk it up to her issues, as occasionally all kids have behavior.

I asked Ms. M if LMNOB just blanked out at her and seemed to be in another world.

Yes.

My heart sank further. This confrontational communication is going to be the worry that nails my coffin shut.

I envision a high speed chase in LMNOB's future, which would have been totally avoidable if only she had stopped as a police officer tried to tell her her taillight was out.

Ok that's a bit melodramatic, but really...it's the same concept as the time she stood out in the cold for 30 minutes at the daycare lady's home. It's this inability to assert herself, in action or in words that has me really concerned for her growing up process.

At home, when I innocently asked to see LMNOB's homework that night, she was up front and told me that she had gotten a pink slip. Not like that time last year.

When I asked her what happened, she got embarrassed and teared up. "Mommy it was just so hard to talk - like my brain is broken!"

I told her not to worry, that she was with me and we talked. Apparently, she and her neighbor-girl friend had tried to play soccer with some boys. The boys took offense at merging the genders and told them no way and to go away. LMNOB didn't respond. She said, "I just stayed there, b/c my words weren't coming, but Mommy we could too play!" So, she reported, the boys said they were going to tell on her for something she didn't do so the teacher would take her out of the soccer game. Then they did it when she still didn't respond.

By then she was very upset and crying.

"Mommy, even if I said they were lying, the teacher wouldn't believe me b/c they lied first and I would look like a liar!"

I told her I understood why she had thought that, but that the teacher had not seen anything, and just wanted to get everybody's side before doing anything. I then asked her if she realized if she knew that by running away and not talking it made her look like she had done something?

She nodded. "And that's why no one would EVER believe me! And it's just so hard to talk when no one believes me."

I believed her. My girl may have some issues, but she's not a sociopath who can lie expertly at this age - no, her lies come with fantastic explanations and little emotion, clear indicators she's only trying to avoid punishment.

So I had her do some "scenario sentences," (I will not...when...) and then write a letter to the teacher whom she'd run run from.

And when we talked to Ms. M and showed her the papers the next morning, Ms. M said immediately, "Honey, that makes much more sense to me - because that is who you are, not some kiddo who kicks when she's mad! Wanna go take these to Ms. Other Teacher with me? And LMNOB, do you realize that by excluding you, those boys were breaking a PRIDE* rule?"

Nods.

"Do you know which one?"

In a teensy voice, "Everyone belongs."

*P- Positive Attitude
R- Respect myself and others
I- Independent thinking
D- Do my best
E- Everyone Belongs

Monday, December 10, 2007

Technicalities, schmechnicalities....

It may not be "Margarita" Monday as LMNOB so cleverly suggested last week, but let me assure you all...

Alcohol will be consumed. By me. Tonight.

And then, I hope to retire early and get as much shut eye as possible.

Actually, I've been toying with the idea of checking into a local abbey, up in the mountains. The thought of simplicity, in meals and accommodations, merging with meditations just appeals to me. And I'm not even Catholic - but the thought of the nuns interceding with and for me in prayer is a beautiful image.

Oh how my fundamental-ish church would probably disapprove, but I don't care. God knows what I need and HE sanctions me, not man.

I have so much to tell you, internets. About LMNOB's sensory issues/Rain Man like tendancies, Punkinhead's adorable witticisms, SNOW!, and how my Charlie Brown has been my rock through this crazy time. He melted my cold heart this morning, and I am just left thinking, "This whole idea of 'putting up with one another's $h!t' is such a two way street."

And I am glad for my life.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Sweat Drops of Blood...and Lessons in Grace...Maybe

OMGoodness!

As of 4:00 today, I had spent 20 of the previous 26 hours working on this paper.

As in, I started working on it at 2:00pm yesterday, went to bed at 2:30am, woke up at 9 (which felt like bliss, compared to the 5 hours I've been living on each night recently).

I just got into that "I'm on a roll" mode, (oh and not to mention, holy crap this sucker is due SOON and one of our trio is inexplicably AWOL mode)that means, yes, I probably am a workaholic. There are worse things, right? Besides, tonight, I totally spent quality sing-song time with LMNOB - balance, baby, balance. What is Hammy without a feeble attempt at rationalization?

Today, the drama escalated as AWOL partner jumped back in with, "I sure wish you'd commented on my draft earlier - now it looks like there is nothing I can do but accept your heaping pile of edits." Ok, so I made the heaping pile up - but I do believe the word "extensive" got thrown out. Same diff, right?

Well, hon, lemme tell you - I would have, had you turned your draft in ON TIME WITH OUR PREVIOUSLY AGREED TO DEADLINE.

Buuuuuuuut since she didn't until yesterday morning, while I was AT WORK - uhm, hello, so sorry Boss, I have to go read AWOL partner's paper that just magically appeared in my inbox. I just didn't get to it until last night.
But, suffice to say....it got worse.

And the professor got involved.

And I'm in the middle.

And now, I just don't care if she rides our coattails and totally gets a rocking grade because of me and my other partner's contributions. I am ok with her getting a grade she doesn't deserve, that's grace, right?

What if I am still really perturbed though, that she doesn't get that if you write "blah, blah, blah, (name, year)," you HAVE to include a full bibliographic reference, more than (name, year) in the Bibliography section. Especially because I feel that it is just a little MUCH to have to hold your fellow GRADUATE student's hand in that regard and give her a play by play of what you are asking for.

Is it still grace?

Albeit begrudgingly offered?

Whatever....I've got peace of mind that we are now on our 5th edit and it should be the keeper - all we need are the two references that AWOL partner has neglected to disseminate.

Friday, December 7, 2007

When in Doubt...

Play Maroon 5...

Loudly.



Not really a love relationship that is (:sing it!:)

"Taking its toll.

On me."

But an unrequited partnership is.

A 3 way relationship even...

Rife with "she saids," the unrequited third of this collaboration has me just hoping a particular "She said goodbye..." will eventually come true.

Hopefully the paper will be done tonight...

Thursday, December 6, 2007

This is why I do what I do...

Today at the office, my to-do list had "graphics" on it.

As in, design a cover (for our grant guides) and similarly themed covers for the grant application books that will follow later in the year.

No, prior to this job, I had never had any graphic design experience/responsibilities. While I am not at all a creator of images, I have turned out to be quite adept at the finding of quality stock photos and editing them into professional publications.

As I set about the creative process, I got set on the theme of "helping hands." The collage below is just a compilation, graphic "brainstorming" if you will, of what will be on our grant application books - Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

And it hit me....this is why I do just what it is that I do here. We help persons from all walks, from infancy to death, in the meeting of basic needs like food, shelter and clothing, to accessing health care and education.

I couldn't do just one "thing," me being me - ever the proponent of wholistic solutions in life - and seeing it put like this just made me really happy.

Rockin' My Inner Lennon Groove Thang

Cuz, I swear I just sang,

Come together!
Right now....over me.

And the paper, it did. Oh, yeah, man - it came right together before my very eyes. Or was it over???

At least, my part did.

I'm just gonna sing this song until all the other pieces trickle in from my partners - I figure it should work like the Pied Piper, eh?

Seriously, though - I think my argument to propose legislation similar to this act, (only substituting "sexual harassment," with suicide prevention), is sound, and could go somewhere. Also, my recommendation to take the state's suicide prevention presentations already in existence, tweak 'em to have info about the great investment of EAP's and how much suicide costs the economy, ergo, employers, go buy you some EAP providers for your company and voila! Happy Endings all around....I think so.

I'm good.

LOL....that is my pep talk so I don't shatter into a million little pieces from exhaustion talking.

Ya'll probably don't know what the hell I am talking about.

Suffice to say - change, I want to effect it - and I think this might.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

She Has NO CLUE What a Great Idea That Was...

Monday morning, I wondered aloud what we should have for dinner that night.

"Whaddyou think, is tacos a good dinner idea?" I pondered.

LMNOB, "Yeah! Taco Tuesday!"

I chuckled, "Except that it's Monday, hon," and smiled wanly at her.

She shrugged and and offered, "Margarita Monday?"

I laughed then, but I'm thinking, "Day-umn! The girl is good - we SHOULD implement Margarita Monday at casa del Meyer...."

Especially next Monday, When. The. Semester. Is. O. V. E. R....

Friday, November 30, 2007

On the Down Low...

Sorry readers - all 5 of you, right? If I am wrong in this assessment, please give a shout out - I have only ever gotten 6 comments for my "most comments," and a girl gets blog-inferiority issues from time to time..

I've become something of a blogrant - a term I've gratuitously stolen from Lynne, my library friend whom I always want to call Lynnie Lou.

Let's just say that this pattern of neglect can be seen in other areas in my life besides this blog - my house is a certifiable pit of $h!t right now, my body is full of toxins because I'm living on caffeine, filler foods, and little sleep these days, had some bank account whoopsies (paid our truck payment twice this month - oops! there went $300 we needed), et cet er a...

But it's for a perfectly good reason! I promise I am not just lazy, I have been diverting my attentions to an Important!School!PossiblyLegislative!Report! And working with homeless issues in the interim. This very important paper I am working on is an expansion of this post, and is a growing process for me.

You see, Heather is a roughdraft writer, hardly anything she does goes through an editing process, as she does her bestest work when under intense pressure. Seriously, the research paper for Citizen Participation, whilst it had been outlined and research had been thoroughly examined and noted, had not been put into written format until the night it was due, and Hammy got a perfect score on that one, baby. And that wasn't the first time I've had such results. Trust me, I am an EXPERT at Juggling 101 - The Artful Uses of Procrastination.

But...I can't do that this time. Because it is group work. And, because it is friggin' important - we're talking potentially saving lives here. But mostly because it is group work and we have to come up with a finished product TO.GETH.ER. One of my partners is a research hound and has been a tremendous asset to the team - I owe it to her to thoughtfully write, critique, and revise my thoughts to the maximum efficiency package that KNOCKS the SOCKS off of whoever decides to read it. So I'm growing. Somewhat painfully, but the results are sa-weeeet!

Thus, dear internets, I bid you temporarily adieu. Til I get my paper done.

:smooches:

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Prepare to have the wind taken right out of you...

Because here be the breathtaking "Autumn" (and one LMNOB):



See - so not the Seinfeld version, right?

Pure cuteness is nothing short of, ah, breathtaking...

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I'm diggin' on this new breed of tattle-tale

This morning, buttering toast, I heard Punkinhead, through the fog of non-caffeination:

"Mama. Mama. Mama. Mama..."

I believe I told him to hold on, that Mama's brain was not yet up to multi-tasking par and couldn't possibly comprehend the words of someone else whilst lubricating the multigrain goodness they were about to partake.

Or, maybe I just thought that. Whatever. Whether I made any kind of response, intelligible or more resembling that of a Neanderthal, my dear son pressed on.

You see, he was telling on sister - and that can never wait.

"Mama, LMNOB...."

Oh no, not tattling this early...

"is being a wreal gud gwrill dis mohning," and then he fluttered his lashes and flashed me a beguiling grin.

Such sweetness blasted the fog away and made me realize that he was capitalizing on a lesson we'd recently taught the kids - "Sometimes you have to look for the good in life."

I praised him for being so thoughtful and then reinforced that yes, LMNOB had been a really good girl this morning.

Life is good when you look for the good within.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Apparently She's Watched a Lot of Seinfeld

Last week, LMNOB had a weeklong homework assignment in which she needed to create, with the help of parents, a scarecrow from "materials easily found around the home." In addition to the scarecrow, LMNOB had to provide a "written profile" of her scarecrow, which was rather MadLibs-esque.

Well, being the superior mother that I am, I put off doing this with LMNOB until the night before it was to be turned in. I mean what good mother doesn't impart the tenets of Juggling 101 - The Artful Uses of Procrastination?

In doing so, I revoked a bit of LMNOB's creative license, informing her that we were going to use Daddy's childhood Mr. T doll, (a homemade Cabbage Patch prototype with chocolate nylon for skin and black yarn constituting his mohawk and facial hair, all lovingly crafted by Grandma Nina looooong before the est. date of casa del Meyer) with the aid of a paperbag - to be decorated by LMNOB, and other stylistic embellishments.

She hated the idea.

I told her it was too bad.

So, we dressed said doll in a pink longsleeved thermal of LMNOB's and tan corduroy overalls of Punkinhead's. Then I had LMNOB decorate her bag, fringed it around the bottom, slipped it over the head of the doll, and then secured it with a shoelace tied around the neck.

LMNOB felt that it was missing hair. I found some yellow and maroon raffia in my largely unused craft drawer, and we proceeded to glue the girl some hair.

Et Voila!

LMNOB deemed her scarecrow "Autumn" and proceeded to write her profile.

The next night at dinner, Charlie Brown asked her how her scarecrow went over.

Eyes downcast and sullen, "Good."

"Oh?" questioned Charlie Brown.

A pouty LMNOB recounted that, "Megan got most stylish," and further conveyed her indignation at this fact.

"Well, did everyone get an award?" Charlie Brown pressed on, all investigative and involved parental-like.

In true drama queen fashion, LMNOB made us probe even further when she answered with a one-word report, "Yeah."

My turn. "Well, what did you get?" I asked her.

LMNOB masterfully merged the heavy sigh, with an exaggerated eyeroll, and a pouty lip number, then muttered with the most downcast eyes she'd utilized all night, "Most Breathtaking."

We applauded her and told her that breathtaking was good, and then tried to demonstrate by correctly using breathtaking in a sentence. With context.

I am beginning to suspect that our love for Seinfeld, albeit in syndication, has carried more weight than this little language lesson did, because it was as if she knew this alternate meaning of the word existed, and surely that, and that alone, is what was meant by her award.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Thanks So Much for the Distinction, Love

Per my post on Wednesday, I have a few cute stories to tell on LMNOB.

The first, and easiest to retell, is an important lesson in particulars.

As LMNOB and I were packing Wednesday, I was folding a couple pair of my favorito panties, LMNOB gets this Beavis and Butthead/incredulous/ridiculously comedic giggle going and says,

"Whoa! What are THOSE?" Heehehehehehehehe....

"Those, are my panties." We'd just packed hers.

"But Mooooooooooom! They're Heeeeeeewwwwwwge!" followed by maniacal (I'm talking a psychotic break with reality kind of madwoman laughter) howling.

It was nothing short of humbling.

In a small, but ever practical voice, I replied, "Well, honey, Mama is rather huge."

"Awww mom, no you're not.."

Wow, what a sweetheart trying to assuage my bruised ego....oh, wait, she's still talking

"...but your butt is!!" Heheheheheheeehheeeheeehhee..........ahhh, clarification.

Apparently this qualifying statement was hilarious to her as she guffawed endlessly, flopping about the mountains of laundry on my bed.

So J. Lo, just so ya know, this is what you have to look forward to. One day that asset of yours that everyone wanted to tap into will become a neverending source of humor to your children.
[insert eyeroll, shrug of shoulders, and sigh here]
Kids...they see what they wanna see, huh?

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Sososososo much to blog about

but alas! No. Time!!

Notes to self:

":Sigh: Breathtaking," story MUST be told...

Lots of work with fascinating details...

Thoughts about Fort Collins holiday lighting fiasco...

"Mommy's not huge, but her butt is" story...for which LMNOB receives coal, lol...

and more, all floating thru my head - but i must needs get packed and get out of the schoolwork that is up to my elbows this weekend while we're gone.

So...mayhap I will check in...and then, maybe not...

In the meantime, peeps, embrace the gratitude attitude of the holiday and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Making things happen...

Well...in Who-ville they say
That the Grinch's small heart
Grew three sizes that day!
More inside details to come....
In the meantime, my heart is warm with this compromise that was made.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Nothing Says STRESSED OUT Quite Like Falling to Pieces at a Cliche Forward

So....most of ya'll know that I've been doing some shadowboxin' lately. Right?

Trying to figure out what's a true priority for me - I mean, does my life align with my values? In doing so, I've been torn between whether I need to be working and doing school, because don't my children need me more than that? Cuz, I tend to question on the bad days if this degree is really an investment in their future and our economic security as a family - as I'd intended - said doubt leaves me at a crossroads, wondering whether the ROI is worth these sacrifices being made in their early years? But then I think about how my work could change the world for a better place (with Divine Aid that is - no delusions of self-grandeur here) and I think about how much more of an investment we will reap - beyond economics, my kids, and your kids, can see a better and more unified future - and isn't that priceless?

But when LMNOB's sensory fits flare up - either because of the day's over/under stimulations or simply because as a bewildered mama, I scarce was able to come up with a nutritious diet plan for the day, let alone a sensory one - I struggle with thinking in completely oversimplified, fantasy-like terms: "I'll just quit work, become the class mom, and meet her every need." Hah...if only it were that brainlessly easy! Part of the reason why I continue to work outside of the home, is because my employer provides health coverage that is more affordable than anything my husband's employer could dream of offering. If I were to quit working, we'd be quitting OT. Uhm. No - that's not gonna happen anytime soon.

So my heart pulls me in one direction.

And then the Lord pulls me in another. And yet, even at that, I worry that I'm becoming institutionalized, too bureaucratic - but then, I remind myself, I've always been that detail-oriented, see the big picture and little picture simultaneously (picture in picture? So not a tv concept - they stole it from my brain) kind of gal. I was born a bureaucrat in that regard - and God's using that. I think.

See what I mean? Yes, I am a bitch to argue with...I'm ruthless with myself, let alone someone whom I know to be wrong.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand...I've gotten this particular chain forward several times already, and honestly, barring the "you must pass it on to x number of friends (hello viruses!) within the verynextbreathyoutake and you will have blahblahblah!extreme!blessings!," it's a nice sentiment.

Like not-half-bad advice, I tend to read through these types of forwards (that are upbeat and positive that is - not these freakshow evil ones that also tend to show up in similar fashion) and glean from them what I need and leave the rest.

Often in my deleted items folder.

The subject line had been inconspicuous, hiding the actual content of the message. The sender was the director of the homeless shelter in Ft. Collins, with whom I work fairly frquently.

I opened it, expecting to see that I was just one of her many address book entries receiving it. Nope - I was one of three, two of whom had already received this message.

Wow - I thought.


Hi - I am picking 17 people who have touched my life and who I think would want to receive this. Please send it back to me (You'll see why)..

In case you are not aware, Saint Theresa is known as the Saint of the Little Ways, meaning she believed in doing the little things in life well and with great love. She is represented by roses. May everyone who receives this message be blessed.

Theresa's Prayer cannot be deleted. REMEMBER to make a wish before you read the prayer . That's all you have to do. There is nothing attached. [Hammy here...Nothing, except that you must share to see what happens, lol]

Just share this with people and see what happens on the fourth day. Sorry [Yeah, sure] you have to forward the message, but try not to break this, please. Prayer is one of the best free gifts we receive. [Can't argue that] Read the prayer below..

Saint Theresa's Prayer
May today there be peace within.
May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.
May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.
May you be content knowing you are a child of God.
Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.


I read that second line and it hit me squarely in the heart.

Trust? What's that? Hammy has a wee bit of a problem in that department, eh?

Oh, and yes, I cried. Over a chain e-mail. That I'd seen before, but managed to communicate just what I needed to hear. From an acquaintance who happened to think of me before hitting send.

Wonders never cease.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

To-do's No Longer

Man, this living thing is tough.

And it feels like so much has been on hold.

This weekend, I finally got around to:

Doing the laundry, because, no, I did not get new shag, multicolor, multitextured carpeting upstairs, and, yes, I was sick and tired of my family's linens n' things strewn all over.

Research for my group project paper due Dec. 10. Reading for my solo paper remains undone. It is due the same day.

Getting up close and personal with my hubs. It's been awhile. When did I become that woman??

Tomorrow - I will:

Call Dr. PediatricianThatWe'veHadForever and ask him to send all of the kids' medical records to Dr. FamilyPracticeInclinedtoNaturopathy that I've heard rave reviews about.

And schedule an appt for LMNOB to see the new doc and get her IgG testing done on Wednesday.

We have had a return of the fecal matter issue, but upon talking to LMNOB, it is because she is trying to "help her poop out" because it is so very hard that it's tearing her little bum up. Or, in the absence of poop smears on the toilet, she has raging diarrhea. Which made me want to call up Dr. PediatricianThatWe'veHadForever and say, "Oh? Maybe she DOES have intolerance symptoms, but I was just to damned busy to notice."

Poor baby. And I have got to let go of the retrospective guilt that I'm feeling for not catching this before, right? Ugh...

We've talked about it, and I bought her some flushable wipes, both for herself and for the toilet seat, when she needs them. And she used them the other night, so baby steps, right?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Open Letter to Pat Monahan

Uh, dude, have we met before?

If so, might I wager to say that it was, oh, In. My. Dreams - where I simply can't behave myself? You are a hottie, that's for sure.

Because I'd almost swear your hit song is about moi.

Almost...cuz ya see, I'm actually a Taurus. And stubborn, always gotta be right me wants to point out that there is no such thing as a Gemini Capricorn - that is unless you were born in parts, and six months between parts at that. Details, right?

But...methinks that more likely than a metaphysical meeting, is the likelihood that I secretly pine for Charlie Brown write and sing/read a song like this, about me, to me.

Seriously - men across the world ought to take note of this here little hit.

Wanna know why it is so appealing to women?

This part here is for the men in the world, b/c I'm sure you already know this, you lyrical genius, you.

Because it's not all Hollywood male crooner gushing (Whitesnake's Is This Love comes to mind - gag!) about some perfect woman in head-to-toe spandex with big hair, a woman whom none of us could ever relate to, or even pretend to be.

Instead, it's about a slightly nutty, very idiosyncratic, spunky little gal - a woman we all know and love within each one of ourselves.

So we can pretend that we are an object of affection [yours or otherwise] and the sole inspiration for such an upbeat and funky little ditty whether we are in the shower, prepping for the 9-5 life, or at the end of the workday on the car ride home - and what woman couldn't use that fun 5 minutes of make-believe in her day?

And here is where men everywhere should take note - this song is so unbelievably sexy because of the way Pat knows his woman. It's such an intimate inventory of all the wacky ways of his girl, and then he honors her neurotic repertoire by saying how much it means to him that she's his. We women long to hear some such similar homage, specific to our unique characteristics, from our mates - you know, something a little more detailed than, "You're a great cook; good mom; hard worker; blah, blah, blah." We get that kind of fluff from our girlfriends! And, quirks are fair game too - so long as you illustrate that they actually endear us to you.

So, Pat - I pink puffy heart you because I think you just revolutionized the male-to-female love song.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

I'd like to thank all the little people who got me where I am today...

LOL...that's a joke, kay?

In all seriousness, though - Niki has branded me as an award-winning member of :

For Social Conscience


Awww, Niki, thanks - you're too sweet.

And now, dear friends, it is time to pay it forward...

This award has several categories, each of which I must name one special person to receive:

-Creativity: I award Heather Neff in this one. She is a crafty, creative mama who always has ideas for her own writing, with enough left over to be an awesome homeschool teacher!

-Spirit of Giving: I award Purple Kangaroo here. Even with all of her family's health woes, homeschooling time constraints, etc., she is still generous with her time and ability, evidenced here.

-For Keeping It Real: I can't just claim one person here - really a lot of my blog roll deserves to be here, but for most of them my comments are just a drop in their huge readership buckets, so.... I've got to award Mama P and Princess in Galoshes for their mad skillz at balancing keepin' it real with wit and pop culture in their posts. Their keepin' it real tales are easy on the eyes, and fun to read, not of that whiney, poor little ole martyr me, keepin' it real variety.

-For Social Conscience: Larry James is awe inspiring with the dedication to social justice that his posts reflect. I learn a lot from him and pray that more people follow his example.

-For Staying True to Their Beliefs: TiaLynne is amazing with her joint mastery of knowledge, love, and wisdom at such a young age.

Enjoy!