Thursday, September 27, 2007

At Your Service - The Public is a Damned Fickle Master

Last year, after our crazy-making, ad hoc, fly by the seat of our pants run at providing a cold weather shelter for the homeless in Loveland, I asked the Loveland Homeless Task Force numerous times to develop a procedures guide for future operations of such a shelter. I even gave them examples to go through and pick out what they liked and leave what they didn't.

I got....

NADA.

So then, when I published this plan - with approval from the Assistant City Manager, my phone starts ringing;

"Why in the world are you requiring a breathalyzer for for entry?"
Because we cannot accept people into the shelter who are under the influence - and a breathalyzer 1.) is standard shelter procedure thru the state, and 2.)eliminates any subjective accusations of drunkenness.

"Whaddyou mean you won't admit someone under the influence? They are still human and deserve to be kept safe."
I SO agree with you. However, they will be safe and warm in detox. As a City project, we have liability for the volunteers and the other guests staying at the shelter, and cannot risk the potential for harm. And this risk does increase with substance consumption - evidenced this summer by a man we both know and previously would have called "harmless."

"Wait, I, uh, see here that the temperature threshold has increased - that means we'll be open more days then."
Ok, wait a cotton picking minute...last year, when the shelter was given the parameters of 30 degrees or below, people complained that there was evidence that 40 degrees was a better cutoff, plus Fort Collins uses that guideline so why not us? Now that I have gotten that approved, you don't want the burden of service? One or the other, please.

"It's all getting rather bureaucratic, wouldn't you say? That's going to turn people off."
People don't HAVE to stay. If they prefer not to do paperwork (which will keep us accountable and also possibly argue the need for a full-time homeless shelter - oh, wait, that's big picture I forget you don't see that often) then they can make another arrangement, no? There is a choice.

Et. Cet. Er. A

It is the catch 22 of government work - if you ask the public for input prior to decision making, there is nothing to be found, but afterward? They will pick it apart with their - ($.02) (read: negative two cents), self-righteously and mercilessly, deprecating the bastards who make up the administration.

:sigh:

No matter...

At the end of the day, I know:
1.) It's a damned good plan, chockful of best practices
2.) For all the complaining, the attempt to save lives is being made...and despite all of the protests, it will be effective

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

One Step Closer to Painting CO's 4th Congressional District Clear!

So I'm home with a sick LMNOB today, right? (Sadly, my poor baby has been vomiting on the 1/2 hour, every hour since 6:00am - with the exception of two brief naps she has taken) So what better to do than send some e-mails for work - including a media release (read: cry for volunteers) for the inclement weather shelter, catch up on blogs, and actually take the time to read what's shakin' with the CD4 race?

As I prodded the DenverPost.com to open, by hitting refresh several times, the page finally and slowly came to life. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a headline that had me thinking, "NO Way!" Upon following the link, though, it was true - Angie Paccione has dropped out of the race!
In the political arena, one very well could speculate and say mean, sour grape-ish things about the real whys behind Angie dropping out, those that are beyond what Angie's already told the public - that she is pursuing a private, business endeavor - but that's not my style.

Nor is it Betsy Markey's way - in an e-mail I received from her campaign manager today it said succinctly, "We wish Angie the best in her future endeavors.*" And that is one of the many reasons I sparkly-pink-puffy-heart Betsy - because she is classy, and genuinely committed to running a clean race. Her integrity alone wins her more points in my book than any other politician (elected or just trying) that I follow.

But that's not all. Oh, and now I'm getting around to explaining my title. Yes, I did mean to say paint the district "clear." Not Red, not Blue - but Clear. And just what the hell do you mean by that, Hammy? What I mean is that Betsy doesn't have a partisan agenda. She's not committed to being the best Democratic representative. Betsy Markey is committed to being the best representative for our people, period. Betsy knows the constituents of CD4 - heck she's been one of them for years! She knows their needs as small business owners, parents, farmers, etc., and will represent them in a fashion that will allow their natural, varying colors (red, blue and every purple imaginable) shine through - thus, Betsy will be a CLEAR topcoat for CD4's people.

And then, we can be rid of the oppressive red that Musgrave fancies. Marilyn, having a coat of red in the House was so last decade. Buh-bye.

*edited to add: Betsy has since released an official statement on Angie dropping out of the race. Go take a look for yourself and see the honorable, positive, and respectful stance that Betsy has taken . She's our best political bet, I'm tellin' ya!

Autumnal Tilting

Sunday afternoon, on our way home from C town, we descended from Rabbit Ears Pass and took the shots I shared yesterday.

The groves of aspens in their changing, chartreuse to golden garb of fall against the crisp blue September sky, with the lone and rugged "rabbit ears" rock formation jutting out of the timbers made for a beautiful moment.

Yesterday, as I walked out of my office and felt the fresh air hit me with a seasonal one-two as the brisk coolness of the breeze danced in the sunbeams pouring down from the tilting solaris, I conceded that it is now in fact Fall.

My favorite season.
There is something about the positioning of the earth at this time that makes the lighting different. Ethereal almost, definitely that "golden light" we all love to see in photos. This lighting is the perfect backdrop for the natural beauty of the season. Glimmering golds, burnished bronzes, and radiant rusts spring forth and command our attention. The cooling of the air sends us looking to our closets for warmth, and pantries for comfort. And who could forget the other association that nerdy ole me has always had with fall? The starting of school. What's not to like about Autumn?

Well, as beautiful as it is, it is often the most difficult season for me emotionally. I usually get a bit out of whack from this time until Fall Back - that light/Seasonal Affective Disorder thing...then there's the fact that the holidays are inevitably closer. Can, check. Emotional worms inside, check. Awareness of the impending holidays - opens that can of emotional worms and all my family of origin ambivalence. I'm also starting to wonder if Charlie Brown has some issues with this time of year, because maritally, we have a trend - and September is not a good month. This year has been no different. Finally...with fall comes the sickies. Punkinhead threw up on Monday morning - Charlie Brown stayed home with him. Today? LMNOB, and it is my turn. Which is ok by me...I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed of late. Nursing a sick kid is not rocket science, thank God.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Blasts from the Past Over the Weekend...

I survived the MCHS Class of 97 10 year reunion.
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What a week of non sleep...first, MIL came to the Fort and we were up past midnight Tues/Weds. Then we drove to C Town Thursday night and were again up past midnight. And again Friday...Saturday...and me again on Sunday, as the afternoon java I'd hoped would make me a worthy copilot took me way beyond the road trip.

But it was fun. Getting to see old friends, catching up and hearing about accomplishments, families, careers, etc...

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And sad. Seeing that some people have crossed over to severe alcohol dependence. Or have already been married and divorced. Or are on the way there, and all that.

And a sort of closure for me. Craig was never home to me - seeing as how I only lived there for 3 1/2 yrs, and the mid-teen years at that. Going to this reunion and actually having fun and feeling proud of who I am and continue to become was some of that validation that I've been searching for F O R. S O. D A M N E D. L O N G.

And, it made me glad.


  • **For my home. Because ya'll, the Fort has had me for 10 years now, and I've come of age here, started my family here, and put down some roots. It is a progressive community, home base for two institutions of higher ed (community college is higher ed!), the Fort gives me the needed space from family (both by law and by blood) and, it's just plain HOME; Where my [adult life] story began...
  • **And for my life. As much as I may moan and groan about the goings on in Casa del Meyer, life is pretty darned good, with a few exceptions - I am working on them.
  • **And for my faith. My walk with God really has taught me that there is more to it than this life we're living.

Funny how a trip to a redneck haunt like C town could evoke all of this gladness, eh? It was pretty though...(on the way home, that is ;-) )
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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket



Thursday, September 20, 2007

Because She Says It Soooooooo Much Better Than I Could

Given my insane levels of busy-ness...thus my lackluster, not-so-creative posts, I thought I would direct you to Mir.

Why?

Because Mir is a parental genius. Also, pretty. Very much so. Moreover, her children MUST be my children's cosmic twins, because she's got a post up today with the communication glitches between mother and children down PAT.

My children and I have been having these exact discussions at my house lately...almost verbatim, but add a few more non-verbal communications like eye rolls, kicking and screaming, and well...then it's my life.

Without further ado, please go read.

Then bob your head emphatically at the "OMG! That is SOOOOOOOOOO my life" factor. And tell Mir, that while she does not bear the name of Maria, she is quite possibly the prettiest, and wittiest, and brightest mother-writer around.

Like the Ant, I've Been Busy Planning for the Winter

But, oh, how nice it would be to be a grasshopper and have it all done for me, right?

I’ve been working on a plan for the City’s volunteer-run severe weather day shelter for the homeless – in order to avoid the mistakes of our impromptu, very makeshift operations in January.

Behold – the media fruits of my labor.

 

 

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

On Tonight's News - Drive-By Thinking Sets Hammy's House Awry

Haven't been blogging b/c life got crazy busy on me.

In fact I shouldn't even be here, but I had this overwhelming compulsion to share with you the random thoughts that were going thru my head today, as I'm home from work, frantically cleaning before hosting a direct-sales party in my home tonight. Oh, and MIL's coming too, since she has business in the Fort tomorrow.

Why was my house SO COMPLETELY TRASHED you ask? Oh, b/c Charlie Brown got a hankering to CUT A HOLE IN OUR WALL this weekend. Holy shiznit but that about made me unravel into a big pile of nerves! I kept looking at the hole and saying, "But, honey - it's crooked - OMG! WHAT! HAVE! YOU! DONE!?!?!" But never fear, dear readers, because the hole is now framed ("frenched" per Charlie Brow) in w/wood that's STRAIGHT and has our DVD player, Dish receiver, etc. in it. Yes, we now have a built in entertainment console. And the TV? On the wall. Oh, yeah...it's sweeeeeeeeeet. We reclaimed about 3 feet of width in our smallish living room with this project. Woohoo! So, in the mean time our house did not receive its weekend deep cleaning that it normally does and I was so afraid that someone would see and call Dept of Human Services for exposing my children to such filth.

As I was cleaning today, I noticed crayon on the wall. It's not new. Rather it's been there for about a year, maybe more. But alas, the crappy paint that KB Home used won't even stand up to a washcloth with pure H2O on it, and thus it remains. I thought, "Self, you never used to get it when moms would complain about the stuff we kids did to trash their domain. Now you really freaking do."

Which led me to my next thought about how I could be construed as a frustrated perfectionist with respect to the cleanliness, or lack completely thereof, of my abode. And then the philosopher in me interjected - oh, you are more than a frustrated perfectionist...you are a wistful perfectionist. You wish that these creatures you live with would see your desire for a clean home, that you had time to make it clean more often than each weekend, you wish you had the energy to be the perfectionist you'd love to be. Yes, yes...I've got this wistful yearning to be obsessive, crazy eh? Sure it is - that's how my eating disorder started. I wished I was controlled enough to be anorexic (at the time - I am so over this), sick as that thinking is, and thus began the cycle of restricting-bingeing-purging. So, I think with regard to the domestic maven obsession? It will remain a wistful longing. Lest I become completely OCD.

I am all over the map today with thoughts. Hopefully they will remain and good blogging will pour on out of me. I don't know though....I've got school work that I haven't even begun on, and a 10 year high school reunion coming up this weekend, that I stupidly volunteered to do a "look at us now" slideshow for. I am up to my ears in work in all venues of life.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

The applicability of Dr. Seuss to my life

"Up, up, it's a great day for up."

I called Charlie Brown to inform him that the reclassification of my position at work had landed me a 6% raise, retroactive to July, and the new title of Human Services Technician. As opposed to Administrative Specialist.

His response? "Whoo-hoo - now we match."

Somehow Human Services Technician and Subaru Senior Master Technician is not an apples to apples comparison to me.

I liked The Boss' response much better - "Tonight's meeting is canceled due to a lack of a quorum - let's go grab some wine and celebrate your new position!" She worked really hard for me to push this change through HR, and it's been a long, political battle for her.

1/2 a bottle of cabernet, 1/2 a dish of artichoke dip, and TONS of sassy, smart talk between women later, I was feeling more relaxed than I have in a long time.

The Boss was very encouraging tonight, noting her excitement about my budding career. That felt nice, given that there have been times that I've doubted this.

Yes, indeed - a great day for up.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

What the Dr. Didn't Order

So Monday I took LMNOB to Dr. PediatricianThatWe’veHadFOR.EV.ER to check out her girl part itchies, right?

He examined her, and immediately says just by looking, “It’s not yeast because her labia are only pink and not all red and inflamed.” He did not test the gunk, and instead only cautioned us to abstain from bubble baths (LMNOB’s favorite) and to reiterate good hygiene practices with her.

And, because I have this STUPID thing where I clam up, because, hello, MD after a person’s name grants said person kryptonite like qualities that stifle the uber-smart-outspoken woman in me, I said nothing. I HATE that I do this, because often, AFTER I leave the influence of the MD kryptonite, then my questions arise. On the yeast issue, I thought: Hmm…I have chronic yeast issues, and RARELY do I get red and inflamed…And, hey, if she is metabolizing yeast in the intestine, it is excreted thru urine/stools, and if she is not using proper hygiene, why CAN’T this be an option? WHY didn’t I question this????

I did, however, broach the subject of IgG allergies, intestinal overgrowth of Candida, mercury/other heavy metals, and clostridia, with him. Dr. PediatricianThatWe’veHadFOR.EV.ER was less than encouraging, and pretty much completely pooh-poohed the idea that any of these issues could be at work, because LMNOB had never had any celiac like symptoms, any rashes/bowel issues indicative of food allergies, it’s rare, and a whole other litany of this-is-why-I-think-you’re-crazy’s, but wrote me up a lab order for an IgG/IgE test nevertheless.

Please keep in mind – it’s not that I necessarily WANT LMNOB to have any of these issues – I have not gone all Munchausen on her, but why not rule it out before dismissing the idea as preposterous? Other, good, post-visit point that I had: Ok, so gastro-intestinal yeast is rare, BUT it is RARE to be on the spectrum, AND LMNOB IS, AND the research is showing 90% of kids on the spectrum have one or more of these issues?

I told Charlie Brown about the visit with Dr. PediatricianThatWe’veHadFOR.EV.ER and how the mental kryptonite had me all sorts of confused and now I was really waffling about should we even do these tests?

Now read closely, because Charlie Brown made my day with his following statements:

“Yeah, well Dr. PediatricianThatWe’veHadFOR.EV.ER also didn’t think to connect the dots with LMNOB’s perpetual toe walking, way-prolonged bed wetting, and insane tantrums either. And then when you did, he still didn’t think that could be it. So, even MD’s can be wrong – just get the tests done and we’ll see for sure then, right?”

I was all, like, “Whoah, validation. Do you KNOW how incredibly sexy that is? Meet me at home?”

But seriously, this was HUGE, in my book. HUGE. 1st - Charlie Brown has never really bought in (at least not in his communications) to the SID diagnosis for LMNOB. And yet, here, he very much did. 2nd - Much as my inner feminist cringes to admit this, this kind of authoritative male take-charge-and-that's-all-there-is-to-it is exactly what I have been craving from him, in this, and other areas in our marriage.

So, what did I do with this little exchange that was so HUGE? I told him I appreciated it, and how much it meant to me, and yada yada.

Apparently, his appreciation:sexy as my validation:sexy, too, b/c it was a NIIIIIIIIIIIIICE night at Casa del Meyer.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

You Never Said It Would Be Easy

But You said You'd carry me through the storm...

That part of this song hit me and made me a blubbering fool in the car yesterday. It was so poignant that it made my heart pull and twinge as if the Lord had a voodoo dolly of me and He was poking, prodding it all while saying, "I'm gonna make you FEEL my answers to our little talk!"

And the good news, I don't have to do this alone... cuz He will carry me.

"I Don't Get It, Mommy"

LMNOB is truly a blonde who’s bent on the fashionista angle.

Irrelevant aside about why we were in the car during school hours:

Today, I had to pull her from school for a trip to the pediatrician, since last night she was complaining like mad that her girl parts itched.  Given BT the OT’s concerns about yeast, I thought, “Hmm…this could easily connect the dots?”

Turns out, it’s no dice on the yeasties, but was more of the “No Bubble Baths For You!” type visit for her.

Anyway, on the way back to school, LMNOB says, “No one but B said that they liked my outfit today.”  Her pout was audible.  As was the very heavy sigh that followed it.

“But LMNOB, did they just not say anything, or did they say they didn’t like it?”

“They just didn’t saying anything.”  More audible pout.

Maternal sigh…(read: I’m stalling for time – how should I put this…)

“Well, honey, not everyone is as focused on their clothing as you are.  You are very creative and express yourself through your art and your clothing; but other kids have different ways”

“But Mommy, I just don’t get it…It’s not like they’re blind!

Got that?  Anyone with eyes should BE ABLE TO SEE AND RECOGNIZE the greatness of her trendsetting ways.  Heaven help the unobservant man she partners with later in life.

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Just a Little Talk With Jesus...

The song will tell you why such a talk is warranted.

This post is the transcript.

Me: So, uhm, Lord - this little nervous breakdown inspiration of a weekend wouldn't happen to be Your way of telling me, in that oh-so-chastening way You have of Yours, Hammy, I'm gonna show you just why you need to quit being so damned self-reliant: because you can't do anything without Me, would it?

...

Me: Because, uhm, if so - well, point taken, Man. Now please have mercy on me, a sinner. Plllleeeeaaase give me a break. Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on top?

...

Me: But if not - what in the depths of sheol was it? More importantly, will you please just make it all go away? See above pleadings.

...

Me: You know, You are always so blasted quiet. Just like a man to have a woman pour her heart out to Him, only to receive silence. I don't care if it is HOLY silence - it still doesn't help. Seriously, the most merciful thing You could do for me right about now is to have one of those harpy, revelationary moments where You parted clouds, lined with silver, and spoke, audibly... And whether You told me, "Keep on truckin', you're going the right Way," or "Chica, get your butt into a U turn ASAP," either one would be fine by me, because then, then at least I would KNOW.

...

Me: I am going straight to hell, [for my irreverant bluntness] huh?

...

Me: Or am I on the path to martyrdom? Which, oh yeah, that brings me back to this weekend. WTH??

...

Me: Oh, wait a minute, did I hear that correctly? A Divine challenge of Truth or Dare? Truth... Well, let's see I've felt really distant from You lately, and I know it's my own fault. I think I have my reasons, too... Oh, I know they won't hold up, they are after all merely excuses, but man, what obstacles excuses become... First of all, I don't like some of Your answers. And yet, I know them to work - they have after all given me respite and comfort on the darkest of days; but, Lord, I'm tired of submitting, and not letting anger get a foothold, and all this other righteous CRAP that really means, STIFLE MY FRUSTRATIONS at the most unholy situations in my life. Second of all, this life and the life I'd pictured?? Are you laughing at me - I'll bet you are. But whoah, Nelly, what a difference, eh? Lastly, I'm a coward with doubt. I know in my heart that You can conquer all of this drama... and confusion... and strife... and... but in my head? It gets a little murky.

...

Me: And on top of that...Punkinhead was raging against the parental machine all. WEEKEND. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. We are talking superfits of the highest calibre, for TWO DAYS straight. Charlie Brown was crabbier than a dorm full of women on the rag - to the point that if I so much as BREATHED the wrong way, I was YELLING at him and oh, how he hates that he is the root of all evil in Casa del Meyer, and really, all I did was just breathe, because, you know, it is required of us mortals in order that we continue to exist. LMNOB jumped on the bandwagon of all over the place behavior, and I feel like OH MY LORD, this? is? my? life???? All the time. My eyes hurt now from the extended exposure to their take on saline, let's just say that. So pardon me, in the event that I'm not all Suzy-Sunshine-Christian doing her Rah-rah My God ROCKS! thing. I'm in a more Lamentations sort of mood.

...

Me: Sigh....well, THAT was a LOT. Erm...can I just go hide and pretend that didn't just come out of my mouth?

...

Me: As always, I'm not quite sure what you're going to do with all this that I've told You. I wonder, though - do You view my prayers as in the Letters to the Editor ilk? You know, the vocal minority? Versus those that are consistent and thankful, sweet and meek? I kind of feel as if I've verbalized frustrations, and they're out of my head now, but what's really going to come of it besides folks knowing how I REALLY feel?

...

Me: Oy vey... Ya know, the beauty of Your silence is that You never spoke a word to me, and yet I feel as if I've been thoroughly and appropriately lectured. I know, I know...I need to call home more often. I need to plug in more consistently. I just need Your grace to get me through those days when I totally miss the mark.

...

Me: Deal? Thanks Man, you've always got the Stuff to take the edge off.

...

Closing music: Just a little talk with Jesus makes it right...

Friday, September 7, 2007

Colorado 's Fourth District: One of the TOP TEN Races in the Country

Today the Washington Post ranked Colorado 's Fourth Congressional District as one of the top ten seats in the country to switch parties in 2008.

Here's what The Washington Post had to say:

Colorado 's 4th District (Currently R): Every election we look at the strong Republican performance of this district and conclude that there is no way Rep. Marilyn Musgrave can lose the seat. And every election she barely manages to win. This time we won't be fooled. Democrats are heavily targeting this race and Musgrave has proven that she underperforms in this eastern Colorado seat. Angie Paccione, the Democrat who lost to Musgrave by less than 6,000 votes in 2006, is back for another race but faces a serious primary challenge from Betsy Markey, a former aide to Sen. Ken Salazar (D-Colo.) Salazar has already endorsed Markey, which could well give her a leg up in the primary. This race shouldn't be close given the district's demographics but it will be.


Click here to donate now and Retire Marilyn in 2008!

Campaign Contacts

If you would like to get in touch call 970 221 1473.

You can email Betsy directly at: Betsymarkey@ MarkeyforCongres s,com

For fundraising, contact Christopher Mills.



To volunteer or schedule a house party, contact Christina Lefevre-Gonzalez

Click here to donate.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Eating My Words

Over the course of the past year, many people have said things to me like:

“When are you running for office?”

“You’re a politician, deep down, you are, and you’re [damned] good.”

And my answers have been:

“Never.”

“Why in HADES would you care to insult me in such a way as that?”

In other words – I didn’t think I was interested in that.

But these wheels in my head, they keep on turning.

I am a networker. My friend DSW recently said, “Hammy, you’re the only person I know who truly has this six-degrees of separation thing going for her. I mean, if someone has a question, you have an ‘Oh, I know somebody…Go talk to…’ for them to get an answer with.” And she’s right. Case in point, this weekend we went to the CU-CSU Rocky Mountain Showdown wherein a middle-aged couple in Rams fan gear sat next to us with their tween-ish son. She glanced at Charlie Brown, who was wearing a CU hat, but the Rams’ green and gold for his shirt – like the rest of Casa del Meyer, and asked me, “So, what’s up with your hubby – ‘d He go to CU? I told her no, but that he’d grown up watching the Buffs as a kid, then I went and ruined it by becoming a CSU alum. And, to make matters more complicated, I was going to CU-Denver for a Master’s degree. As she wrinkled her nose in disgust at my disloyalty to our alma mater, I went for the defense, “CU’s the only school in the state that offers an MPA.” She lit up – “What do you want to do with that?” I told her that I worked for the City of Loveland, that I figured it would help me in my career there dealing with NPO’s and government interrelationships, but mostly I wanted something that would lend me more credibility as I worked for social justice. She told me she worked for the City of Longmont, and asked if I knew X, Y, and Z person from Public Works in Loveland. I told her I knew the names, but I didn’t really work with PW so much as I did with Planning/Zoning, Clerks, etc. I explained the office that I work with – she asked if I knew the Longmont CDBG Administrator – and I do. So, yes, out of 70,000 people in that stadium, I randomly had a connection with the stranger who sat next to me. I’ve got connections, lol.

I am vocal. Duh!

I am smart, and politically savvy enough to see both the big picture at the same time as the here and now.

I want to serve others – especially the underdogs of our society.

Mostly, though…

I am an actionary person. I don’t want to just be visionary, but to act in order to bring the vision to life.

And here is where I’m eating my words, because…

Yesterday, at the Suicide Intervention and Prevention Plan Update meeting, I proposed some legislative actions be explored. And, because there were a bazillion brilliant ideas, and some very, very true, but mostly not very realistic, and I did not want my ideas that are practical and actually feasible to get lost in the shuffle, I e-mailed Colorado State House Representative Randy Fischer today, thanking him for his presence yesterday, and reminding him of my ideas. I also bcc’d the Executive Directors of Suicide Resource Center for Larimer County and Suicide Prevention Coalition of Colorado. Then, I e-mailed my Democracy and the Policy Process prof, whose expertise is in health legislation, along with my advisor – who is a policy expert – and his wife (also an SPA professor) the following:

Hi Dr. X,

Yesterday I attended the first of 4 (or 5?) regional forums re: the CO Suicide Prevention and Intervention Plan update - which is due to be published sometime next year.

As I got to thinking about some potential items for legislation that could increase suicide prevention/intervention, I wondered if you had any experience with mental health legislation, or if it was more along the lines of physical health and/or healthcare?

I had a couple of ideas that I think could actually go somewhere, and effect positive change for the Colorado public. State House Representative Randy Fischer was at this meeting, and heard me briefly explain these ideas. If this is of interest to you, please let me know and I'd be happy to share. Likewise, if you have background re: legislation that might have helped or incented employers to offer particular healthcare plans, I would be very interested in discussing that with you.

Respectfully,

HAM

And so, I’m eating my words, because that looks like political activity, no? And knowing me…I won’t be content unless this activity progresses…

I’m at a dilemma with that little insight, too. Because it means going more public with some of my more personal values. And it means that I might get flack from Christians who tend to disagree with the conclusions I’m drawing re: political issues.

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

When Government Helps...

The following is an article I wrote for our staff newsletter last week. Having struggled through at least 3 episodes of major depression, and threats of it while post-partum, depression awareness, suicide prevention and intervention efforts are near and dear to my heart.

In 1995, Colorado’s suicide rate was the 5th highest in the nation. In 1996, research showed our state losing 16.6 persons to suicide per 100,000 persons in population each year. The national average at the same time was a loss of 10.8 persons per 100,000 person annually. These numbers alarmed many, and in 1998 the Governor-appointed Suicide Prevention Advisory Commission developed a statewide Suicide Prevention and Intervention Plan.

Nine years after the implementation of the Suicide Prevention and Intervention Plan, Colorado has dropped down a notch to the 6th highest suicide rate in the nation. While this is a sign of progress, our rate of suicide is far too high! In Larimer County alone, one person dies from suicide about every 9 days. The highest rate of suicide occurs within the elderly population, persons 65+, especially if they are more socially isolated. Also disturbing, in Colorado, suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for young persons aged 15-24.

But, there is hope. The United States Public Health Service has deemed that, “Suicide is a preventable public health problem.” We know that 90% of all suicides committed are made by persons who have mood disorders such as major depression or bipolar disorder, and/or a substance abuse problem. We know that 15% of the population will experience Major Deprssion at some time in their lives, and another 3% of the population lives with Bipolar Disorder. These are treatable conditions. With adequate mental health treatment, suicide prevention is increased. Education and awareness efforts reducing the stigma of mood disorders, along with increasing community accessibility to services are key goals in Colorado’s Suicide Prevention and Intervention Plan.

Because it has been nine years since the Plan was adopted, Colorado’s First Lady, Jeannie Ritter, is holding regional meetings across the state in September to update the Plan. Human Services Staff, HAM ahem, that would be me, along with Suicide Resource Center for Larimer County, Larimer Center for Mental Health, other service providers and concerned citizens will meet with First Lady Ritter in Greeley on September 5th to discuss what has been effective, what still needs improvement, and what could be added to the Plan to further drop Colorado’s high suicide rate.

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First on my list of recommendations- better funding for mental health / substance abuse awareness, prevention (that's for the SA, can't really prevent biochemical forces in your body), and TREATMENT. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, they say. Why not help people get the treatment (meds/therapy) they need so that in turn, they are happier, healthier, more well adjusted contributors to the economy?

One idea is state tax breaks to businesses that provide EAP (Employee Assistance Plans) services for their employees.

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This concludes this episode of public service announcements.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Speaking Candidly About Candida

Oh, hell yeah, men if you are reading, it may help persuade you to NOT read this post if first I clarify one thing:

Candida = Yeast, like the kind that Monistat commercials insist their product can eradicate. And 1.. 2... 3...yeah, that's the sound of millions of women in the country laughing out loud.

Or...you might be interested, since this post only briefly touches on the vaginal flora known as Candida albicans; the rest is all gastrointestinally/psychoneurologically related. 'Tis fascinating stuff. Reeeeeeeeeeeaally.

But first, to give you a wee bit of context, I must venture into the territory of "WAAAAAAAAAY TMI." Brace yourselves - you will know far more than I really would like for you to know about the workings of my innermost parts before the end of it. But...it is necessary to divulge, in order to fully convey the AHA! moment we had with BT the OT on Friday, (And, that is really why you love me so, isn't it - because I am such a free sharer?) so for the sake of public service announcement...it works. Roll with me - if you no likey, there is a big red x to your upper right.

:sighs: Hoooooo-kay. So, Candida and I are like BFF's, only, she's the BFF that I REALLY can't stand and wish would just go. the. F. away. Clearly it is an unrequited friendship - more like a parasitic relationship gone way past symbiotic civilities. Every month, after Aunt Flo comes in and messes around with me, my hormones, and oh, hello, SEX life, well Candida sends a little "note" that she's coming over to crash the party that is my life also. I usually respond with an "Oh really? Gee, I'm not sure that's going to work," by way of an increased dosage of acidophilus (that I already take every. single. day), and when it becomes apparent that this is not working, I go get all buddy buddy with Monistat, hoping for the whole 3's a crowd message. But, apparently, Candida is the type that just doesn't get the hint, because my friend Candida has become resistant to Monistat 1 and even more recently, to Monistat 3. So now I'm stuck with choosing lucky number 7. Which means even further restrictions upon the sex life. Also: yes, another factor than the obvious emotional rift that exacerbates the sexual drought at Casa del Meyer. I just LOVE complication, don't you??? It flat out sucks. Candida has made herself welcome all too often in the past 6 years, but within the last 1 1/2? I'm done with that bi-atch. Seriously. I was all ready to suggest to Charlie Brown that he go get a yeast test at our family doc's just to ensure he wasn't passing the joys of Candida around unbeknownst.

Oh, and another weird, ewwww gross thing? About every 3 months or so, I get this funky urine. It's all cloudy, sweetish-but-stanky and freaks me the hell out. It is the same odor and it is still cloudy, albeit differing shades of yellow, whether I've had lots of water or not. Everytime it happens, I look up what my friend Dr. Google has to say and I could have kidney stones and/or infection (except that pain is not in the equation, so guess not?), diabetes, or some mystery issue. This has absolutely nothing to do with Candida, or so I thought.

Yes...I realize this is totally a woman story, telling you all the landmarks without telling where you are, but I promise, it does tie up neatly in the end. Hang in.

Please now divert your attention from everything I have just shared to the latest and greatest in LMNOB's OT.

2+ weeks ago, LMNOB did her blank-stare-I'm-in-a-different-world-presently-thus-am-not-in-tuned-to-what-you-are-saying number in front of BT the OT. That was the visit where BT the OT wanted me to track LMNOB's diet and behaviors and see if there tended to be any patterns. I've done the tracking - however, I have not gone back to see if there are any triggers that might be attributable to food.

Friday, she gave me an article from a 2004 Autism Asperger's Digest that talked about some nutritional/dietary trends among kids on the spectrum. Which, LMNOB is not diagnosed with autism, but seeing as how 90% of autistic kids have sensory integration issues...yeah, might be correlated.

It talked primarily about IgG "allergies" (I'm not gonna explain - it's tricky, but the link does an excellent job!) which are primarily due to gluten (a wheat related grain) and/or casein (a milk protein). In fact, as I read about this, and how kids with spectrum issues are not "allergic" by a scratch test, but are (sorta...allergy, sensitivity...they can't just call it what it is) with the blood tests described in the article, I thought about Purple Kangaroo and all her allergen issues with Baby E. Check out what this article that BT the OT gave me says (emphases mine):

Determining whether or not IgG food allergies are present is important. These allergies or sensitivities are associated with the reaction of foods with certain white blood cells that release powerful cytokines, protein like substances like gamma-interferon that can cause profound behavioral changes and even psychosis. IgG allergies are found in children and adults on the entire autistic spectrum, including autism, PDD, and Asperger's Syndrome. These abnormalities are also very common in attention deficit disorder.

The Candida connection was also very alarming...(Again, my emphases, also: my paraphrases are italicized)

Another common abnormality in autism is a gastrointestinal overgrowth of Candida...There are about a dozen species of Candida, but three of the most common are Candida albicans, Candida parapisilosis and Candida krusei...

Excessive Candida can inhibit normal digestion and absorption of nutrients in the bloodstream, as well as prevent the production of important vitamins needed for optimal health. Candida produces many toxic by-products, including gliotoxins, which can impair the immune system.

Parts of Candida cells are similar to gluten cells, and thus Candida can sometimes (often) bind to a gluten enzyme in the intestinal lining. This binding to transglutaminase anchors long strands of the yeast cells to the intestine like ivy vines climbing a brick wall. This anchoring inhibits the yeast from being mechanically dislodged as food passes by. Also, this incorrect binding of yeast to gluten enzymes interferes with the normal function of this enzyme in the digestion of gluten. (My notes: especially a compounding factor, and problematic if there is already a gluten sensitivity going on) If Candida cell pieces enter the blood, because of the gluten mimicking it does, this can affect blood clotting activity, because it is tied to gluten enzymes. These modified proteins may not be recognized by the immune system, and can lead to autoimmune diseases. Lastly, the Candida cells can produce digestive enzymes like proteases and phospholipase that actually eat away the intestinal lining, allowing undigested food molecules to pass through into the bloodstream, and as a result, cause more food allergies....


It goes on, and on and on, about the yeast, talking of all this gluten mimicking and how damaging that alone is, but also talks of the yeast's by-products, particularly if and when they ferment, and how they travel to the liver, to the bloodstream, and then some of them say bye-bye thru the urine! Eureka?!? Sweetish-but-stanky (hey, that's what I thought fermented apple juice smelled like, sweetish-but stanky) urine experienced by a woman who is haunted by vaginal Candida - think there may be a gastrointestinal version of the Candida problem going on?

Not to mention for LMNOB, who, I've noticed - as did my friend DSW, who is an RN and commented on it once - also sometimes has that sweetish-but-oh-so-stanky urine. Hmmm....

We can do an elimination diet. But we also have a med lab that is wise to some of this IgG testing, and if we do both the IgG test and the yeast test (a poopoo and a urine culture - I soooo do not envy that person's job!), it could give us answers fairly quickly.

And guess what? The article talks of a child with severe autism who tested for everything, (the article goes into mercury, clostridia, etc, etc, as well):

Two years later, I received a letter from the parents who had implemented all the therapies indicated by the testing. Their son had completely recovered and was successfully attending a regular school classroom without an aide.


I got goosebumps. Research does amazing things, eh?

P.S. For anyone who wants the article, e-mail me.