Step-by-Step Instructions for Concept Application in a Time Crunch

I was so pressed last week - with E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. that the following regimen - AKA - How to Successfully B.S. Your Way through a Graduate Program - is what I ended up doing to solve my academic dilemma:

Participate in an online classroom, which operates like a message board where people post answers to questions asked by the instructor.

Do not read the material. Or, rather, start reading the material a bazillion different times and finally realize that the Shakespearean prose in which it is written, covering complex political theory, is not likely to be comprehended by yourself whilst there are kids running in every 5 seconds, intermittently proclaiming, "Mom we're cold," after having run thru the sprinkler a meager two times, and then begging, "Mom, it's SO hot, will you please turn the sprinkler back on?" Comprehension of said material proves to be even more elusive when your practical response of, "Absolutely not," is met with tantrums rivaling the fury of hell.

Freak out on Thursday night, because discussion posts analyzing the material, are to be up by midnight on Friday - and said material is still not read, let alone scrutinized.

Vaguely recall a professor's sage advice that book reviews are a quick and easy way to get the gist of materials in a pinch.

Browse the posts written by the other classmates, and treat as informal "book reviews." Get the gist of what the author of the not-read materialswas saying. Also, realize that this was hellacious reading - worse than the GRE! Send God a quick thank-you-note on your knees that you didn't spend time reading it!

Use the basic principles conveyed in the posts, and ask self, "Do I agree or disagree, and why/why not?" to develop your own original thoughts; add a further dimension of apparent intelligence by drawing upon the previous materials - with which you make some brilliant comparisons/contrasts and metaphors, thereby demonstrating not only comprehension but application of said principles in the not-read materials.

Post your thoughts, duly and apologetically noting that due to a lack of time your answers will not be as elaborate as you would normally prefer, along with some commentary about online classrooms and observations about the sheer volume of posts.

Hope for a B, at most.

Get the following, stunning, feedback from the professor:

Numeric grade: 38/40 pts. Letter Grade: A
Comments:Hi, Heather. Thanks for your feedback about the course. Yes, I'm new at online education and considered dividing students into discussion groups. When I looked into doing that, however, it seemed I would have to essentially run a separate class for each group. Still, your feedback is valuable and the next time I teach on line I will learn more about that option. If you are having trouble coming up with original ideas, maybe you could post your own response before reading the responses of others; that way, you will have to articulate your ideas in your own words. You do seem to be working your way through this material very well. Your answer to Q. #2 is especially thoughtful. Agreed . . . you seemed rushed on Q. #3.

Realize how pissed you would be if you were one of the students who read the material, and make a mental note to Keep.your.mouth.SHUT around them.