What the Dr. Didn't Order

So Monday I took LMNOB to Dr. PediatricianThatWe’veHadFOR.EV.ER to check out her girl part itchies, right?

He examined her, and immediately says just by looking, “It’s not yeast because her labia are only pink and not all red and inflamed.” He did not test the gunk, and instead only cautioned us to abstain from bubble baths (LMNOB’s favorite) and to reiterate good hygiene practices with her.

And, because I have this STUPID thing where I clam up, because, hello, MD after a person’s name grants said person kryptonite like qualities that stifle the uber-smart-outspoken woman in me, I said nothing. I HATE that I do this, because often, AFTER I leave the influence of the MD kryptonite, then my questions arise. On the yeast issue, I thought: Hmm…I have chronic yeast issues, and RARELY do I get red and inflamed…And, hey, if she is metabolizing yeast in the intestine, it is excreted thru urine/stools, and if she is not using proper hygiene, why CAN’T this be an option? WHY didn’t I question this????

I did, however, broach the subject of IgG allergies, intestinal overgrowth of Candida, mercury/other heavy metals, and clostridia, with him. Dr. PediatricianThatWe’veHadFOR.EV.ER was less than encouraging, and pretty much completely pooh-poohed the idea that any of these issues could be at work, because LMNOB had never had any celiac like symptoms, any rashes/bowel issues indicative of food allergies, it’s rare, and a whole other litany of this-is-why-I-think-you’re-crazy’s, but wrote me up a lab order for an IgG/IgE test nevertheless.

Please keep in mind – it’s not that I necessarily WANT LMNOB to have any of these issues – I have not gone all Munchausen on her, but why not rule it out before dismissing the idea as preposterous? Other, good, post-visit point that I had: Ok, so gastro-intestinal yeast is rare, BUT it is RARE to be on the spectrum, AND LMNOB IS, AND the research is showing 90% of kids on the spectrum have one or more of these issues?

I told Charlie Brown about the visit with Dr. PediatricianThatWe’veHadFOR.EV.ER and how the mental kryptonite had me all sorts of confused and now I was really waffling about should we even do these tests?

Now read closely, because Charlie Brown made my day with his following statements:

“Yeah, well Dr. PediatricianThatWe’veHadFOR.EV.ER also didn’t think to connect the dots with LMNOB’s perpetual toe walking, way-prolonged bed wetting, and insane tantrums either. And then when you did, he still didn’t think that could be it. So, even MD’s can be wrong – just get the tests done and we’ll see for sure then, right?”

I was all, like, “Whoah, validation. Do you KNOW how incredibly sexy that is? Meet me at home?”

But seriously, this was HUGE, in my book. HUGE. 1st - Charlie Brown has never really bought in (at least not in his communications) to the SID diagnosis for LMNOB. And yet, here, he very much did. 2nd - Much as my inner feminist cringes to admit this, this kind of authoritative male take-charge-and-that's-all-there-is-to-it is exactly what I have been craving from him, in this, and other areas in our marriage.

So, what did I do with this little exchange that was so HUGE? I told him I appreciated it, and how much it meant to me, and yada yada.

Apparently, his appreciation:sexy as my validation:sexy, too, b/c it was a NIIIIIIIIIIIIICE night at Casa del Meyer.