Friday, March 28, 2008

Too Bad I'm a Diplomatic Type

Because it would have really have been fun to mess with the alpha mom I ran into this week.

Seriously, I was thinking of all sorts of alternate comments to make rather than the pacifist ones I did make. And if perhaps I'd known this woman better, well, then I would have...but since I didn't I just kept the peace.

So now, I'm gonna dish the dirt with ya'll because this woman? Un-freaking-believeable.

First a few background details...

LMNOB's school does birthday celebrations once a month. They do a fun little thing for all the kids whose birthdays fall that month in the cafeteria, then the whole class gets in on the sugar high with a classroom celebration. A sign-up list is put out by the teacher at the beginning of the year and parents stake their claims on when they would prefer to bring in the obligatory cupcakes and punch.

I signed up for the March b'day celebration, right? In August, mind you.

Well Monday I get an e-mail from Ms. M reminding me that I'm up for b'day treats, but ThisGirl's mom had mentioned that she would like to help out, here's her e-mail, is that ok?

I reply all that sure it is ok - thanks for the help. Get the classroom number of kiddos and e-mail ThisGirl's mom to ask if she just wanted to split the goods 1/2 and 1/2?

Well, actually, she already had all the stuff for cupcakes and she was wondering if I would just bring drinks. Did I know, that ThisGirl's b'day was today? And did I have a March b'day kiddo too, having signed up for the March b'day?

:Insert the first alternate snark here: Oh really? Well damn if this is your version of "helping out," then I'd hate to see your "taking over the damned world."

Yeah, I could bring something fun for the kids to drink. Yes, LMNOB's b'day was March 1 and she'd really wanted me to be involved with the b'day celebration.

:insert more snark here: And I, despite being a WOHM, actually am an involved parent who likes doing this kind of stuff.

:also: So do you want to break the news to LMNOB that you just stole the b'day treats show from her mother? Because I think there will be tears, and since I'm not the one who instigated this I think you would be the perfect informant! I guess ThisGirl is a first rate citizen who matters more than LMNOB, is that the way it goes? Bowing down.

Oh, well did I know that Ms. M prefers CLEAR LIQUIDS so as to avoid stains. She'd brought in capri suns before and that worked VERY WELL. Oh, and I should avoid anything RED, you know the dyes do weird things to the kids and that is a hard way for parents to start the weekend.

:eye roll and hands up in the air: Is your name Barbie, Martha, or June perchance? In other words, are you for freaking real? I don't even know you and you've managed to control exactly what I am doing here.

Sure, sure....I get the clear thing, and yes, I'm aware of food dyes, particularly reds and yellows, impacting kids' behavior. I'd thought to do almond punch, a family favorite that is an all natural, light citrus punch, but you know :insert passive aggression here: since you are so full of great and helpful suggestions, maybe I ought to go the capri sun route.

Oh, no - the punch sounds delightful! Bring that. So, LMNOB's had to wait a whole month for the b'day celebration? I don't think ThisGirl could have waited that long! See you Friday!

:snarky mcfarklepants sez: Probably not, in fact I bet she would have just DIED if she had to suck it up and, oh, WAIT. That's what happens when we cater to our childrens' every desire, or wait, is that superior parenting of the alpha mom?

WTF? I mean this woman was SUCH a pretender to the b'day goodie throne for the day. Then she just bulldozed her way in.

Turns out when I broke the news to LMNOB that I was not bringing cupcakes to the class, she DID cry. And it made me wish that I'd just said, "Whoa there, somebody needs some reigns lady. I signed up 7 months ago for this rite, back up and play second fiddle. You can bring some capri suns," instead of being a pansy.

Instead, I told her, "Well, hey...I was going to do cupcakes AND almond punch - and if ThisGirl's mom had brought drinks, why, we wouldn't be able to make our supper yummy secret family punch recipe! So, of course she is bringing cupcakes! You can help me make the punch, ok?"

And that was pretty much that.

Today, bringing the goods in, alpha mom's cupcakes were pathetic, which brought me great joy. The punch was a hit. Alpha mom barely even made eye contact with me, and managed to talk Ms. M's ear off to the point that I never even got to kill her with kindness with introductions.

And at that point I just thought, "I am a bigger person than she is."

And that was that.

Besides, as Ms. M and I were talking later, she said, "At the risk of sounding cliche and cheesey, it is such a gift that LMNOB has you for parents. You guys are amazing with your efforts at home, the communication with me, and just your involvement. I know many parents who spend more time with their kids, but are so far behind you in the quality. Thank you, it makes my job much easier."

After that, how could I even feel remotely badly?

© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved


  1. Sometimes in our efforts to be supermom we get things ALL wrong!! This mom seemed lost sight perhaps?

    I'm sorry this happened :(

  2. Glad Mrs. M was able to give you a little validation. I don't know that I could have handled that situation as gracefully.

  3. Almond punch recipe please.

    And is there anyway we can send a cluestick posse to Pushy Mom's house?

    And you do totally rock, you know.