Boy Do I Have a Lot of Things I've NOT Been Doing....

Turns out wedding behavior is GREAT NMM fodder!

I surely wasn't stressing out last Monday as the clock read 1:40-something pm as we left Small Western CO Town.  Because I certainly hadn't agreed to host a Mary Kay party the day after my sister's wedding at my house at 7:00pm.  In Suburban NoCO City, which is 4 to 4 1/2 hours away.  I mean, there was nothing to sweat, since we'd be home at 6:00 tops, sans dinner and everything had to be unloaded and assembled in less than an hour, because I would never have said yes to such a TIGHT schedule after a LONG weekend, right?
Wrong: I simply couldn't say no to the college girl from church who does MK on the side and thought we could make it work.  Which we did, but OY!  I create much of my own chaos it would appear.


I am pretty sure that I did NOT tell my sister, "Too many fish and chips," per her dietary account when we were out for girls' night a few days before the big event as I struggled to get her dress closed the morning of her wedding.  Because I'm a much more supportive and tactful big sister/MOH than that!  We did, despite a brief moment of wardrobe hysteria due to a missing hook at the top of her gown, get her zipped into her dress, but it was a very tight fit!

I also did NOT decide to rely on a pair of adhesive cups to work a [strapless] miracle against gravity and provide the coverage and support a mother of 3, whose breasts have seen more inflations and deflations than the NASDAQ, DOW Jones, and S&P 500 combined, needs under her formal wear.  I mean after all, I'm savvy about the state of my bosom so I totally knew that I needed some strong supports, right?  Therefore, I definitely did NOT add to the things which made my mother run about like a chicken without its head, by paging her from the public restroom at the chapel, and inquire if she'd be so kind as to bring me some masking tape.

When my youngest brother saw me for the first time the morning of the wedding and said, "Oh shit, Heather, you look just like Sarah Palin*," instead of, "Wow, you look great!" I did NOT revert back to old family of origin behavior and flip him the bird.  *Yes, partisan politics aside, physically the woman is attractive, especially for her age.  But let's see you be successful in telling any woman you know that she looks like a pretty woman who's 15 years older than she is.  And a barracuda at that.

Days before the wedding, I did NOT cave on my resolve to observe Lent this year with a period of abstaining from "added sugar," i.e. I allowed myself to eat breads w/minimal sugar but no desserts, sugary snacks, etc. by devouring scads of the homemade graham crackers I'd made for Christopher, in attempt to avoid the dreaded HFCS monster.  Because I have more will power than that.  Because I don't steal crackers from babies.  And also?  I did NOT fall off the sugar wagon yet AGAIN this past week when my hormones were raging.  I absolutely did NOT eat a whole sleeve of Thin Mints in preparations for my dear Aunt Flo.  And I have NOT been rendered powerless by hormones to as yet hop on the no-sugar wagon again.  Because estrogen doesn't own me, right?

:giggle:  dear me, there's a lot that I did NOT do, and I've not even told the half of it....


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