Thursday, December 8, 2011

Just call me Britney....or maybe not

I could drop a coy little "Oops, I did it again," it being started yet ANOTHER blog when either of the others would have sufficed.


It was no accident.  And it certainly wasn't a feigned accident, either.

I needed something ME.  Something where I could write again.  About anything.  (Grant writing's got its purpose and can be quite tedious er, fulfilling, yes, that's it!, but it isn't soul-soothing like the clickety clack of the keyboard typing something creative, meaningful.  INSPIRED.

And I have a lot to be inspired about.  If by inspired you might mean, challenged beyond all previously imagined possibilities in several areas of life.  Well, yeah, there's that stuff, too, but seriously - there is a lot I have to be grateful for.  But, there I go again, arguing with myself - it's been So Much Fun inside my head this past year with little time to blog and...PROCESS things.  NOT.  Anyway, back to the point - there are, admittedly yes, some significant struggles in life I'm going through (who isn't, right?), but there is a whole heck of a lot more that is going right and it's time I studied these things, meditate on them and find my contentment again.

So, what's been going on?

Well, the kids started school again (like 5 mos ago....yes I'm a quick one).

Kelsey is in 5th grade.  Let that one sink in, y'all.  My baby is in her Last Year of Elementary School (which is almost to its halfway point, no less), and I am slightly terrified for her about middle school.  Ok, who am I trying to kid?  Forget slightly terrified, I have honest to goodness PTSD like reactions when I spend anymore than 2.5 seconds thinking about it.  Srsly.  I'm breaking a sweat right as I type....or maybe that just makes for better storytelling.  But yeah, changes are on the horizon.

Going on 15
Colton continues to have some fairly minor, but consistent struggles with school.  The kid is smart - no doubt about that from the classroom nor the home - but he's uh, the one that teachers codify as energetic.  "He's just so, energetic, you know," is said at conference time with a knowing, too-polite smile.  And I nod, smiling back a telepathic message that says, "Oh, yes, darlin', I am QUITE familiar with the boy's energy and short of military school, I'm not exactly sure what to do with it either."  But over all, he's doing well and PTL we have a teacher who knows what she's doing with him this year!  (We got stuck with the same teacher who stayed comfortably in the box when it came to teaching that we had with Kelsey, and well, suffice to say interest in school was not high last year with him).
School is not his favorite, eh?

Christopher is now past 2.5 and neither speaking coherently, sleeping through the night in his OWN damned bed, nor potty trained - which aggravates the ever-lovin' tar out of my over achieving self, especially since the first two were either mastering or at least showing interest in those areas by this age.  But, frustrating as that may be.... the boy is a clown and brings me GreatJoy with his very clever humor.  His face is beyond expressive - it is an art form he has to be able to contort his features so that they convey EXACTLY what he is trying to communicate - often pure ridiculosity.  Yes that's a word.  I said so.  He goes to a pre Pre-School 2x/wk and loves it, so I'm not too concerned about his development - I just hate when everyone else points out his delays, like I clearly haven't noticed.  Like, hello peeps, have you met Me?  The totally overly observant one?  Yeah, so yes, I'm aware, now shut up, ok?  Thanks.

One of the contortions of which I speak

The Marriage Front / Life
Well, we are now officially an old married couple - having hit the lucky number 13 in years of marriage this year.  Which, if you do the math above * yeah, that's when I started changing my mind more.  Not because of Seth, but you know, cuz I'm a girl and it is totally my prerogative to be a little flighty now and then if I so choose.  once life gets a little more complex than just having to make decisions for oneself, then the decisions that once were so clear get muddled with shifting priorities and changing demands and, well, the monotony and busy-ness of life.  Just in the past 3 years we changed our minds, collectively, that we wanted another child and that it would be our first choice for me to be at home full-time.  And then I got sick and wracked up a bunch a medical debt, so now I'm a non-profit consultant, about to celebrate a whole year of business - can you believe that - and gaining some serious momentum to the point that I may soon be working the equivalent of full-time again.  Ebb and flow, things are fluid in nature and not as static as we may think them to be.

Seth has really changed a lot these past 3 years, but ya know, age and another kid, oh, and nearly losing your wife can kind of do that to a man, I've heard.  It's all for the better, too as I seriously find myself more and more in love with him each day than the one before.  It's not always that exciting eros of the early days kind of love (though, it's not unheard of, rawr!).  More often than not it is the Alison Kraus or the Ingrid Michaelson variety, deemed by many as sorta boring, but it is constant and secure and unequivocally accepting of me, and helps me get through life in a way I can't imagine Not Having. :swoon:

He's such a hands on dad with the kids at these ages; the relationship between him and Kelsey is really something to behold lately.  He's imparting his knowledge and love of hunting to her and the confidence she's gained from this, this inclusion into what has often been a boys only club since the dawn of time, has been nothing short of remarkable and inspiring.  It's even given me the blood lust somewhat, but shhhh....I still enjoy playing the role of the genteel wife who wouldn't dare bloody her hands.  

Then, he took on Cub Master for Colton's scout pack - no small commitment - and it has been a blessing to ALL of them, I'd say.

We're busy,,,even without organized sports, we still have both kids in choir and Odyssey of the Mind, Colton in Scouts, church groups, etc. that basically keep us busy most every night of the week save Mondays and Fridays.  Tonight, for instance, I worked all day, flew home to pick kids up from sitters and change, drove to the school for back to back choir concerts where we met Seth, drove to get a fast food dinner (which I will say I stuck to my recent Paleo convictions and thoroughly enjoyed a lettuce wrapped burger and side salad from Carl's Jr, thankyouverymuch!) and only got home for the first time in 13 hours at 9:30pm tonight. :sigh: tomorrow morning will be here all too quickly and I'll be rushing the groggy older two off to choir practice before school starts.  I don't know how people do it when band, sports, etc enter the family calendar, but it keeps us on our toes,

I haven't exercised since Tuesday and I feel conflicted about that - but this week has been seriously busy.  I do feel a sense of satisfaction about my eating this week, and that sure helps to keep me from self-flagellating about the exercise.

Anyway - that's what's been going on around here - how about you?

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