Monday, May 21, 2012

Blowing the dust off

I should be doing anything but writing a blog post.  Especially since I haven't touched this blog in over 5 months -there is no readership, no community waiting to hear from me.


Something pulls at me.

I have work up to my ears, professionally and personally, that need attending.  Work that is why I got up before the sun this morning.  Work that I need to finish.


Something whispers to me, "Awake!"

I've been asleep for a long time, wandering in the desert in a semi-conscious stupor, not really grumbling at God like the Israelites.  I couldn't be that short-sighted after all He's done for me, now could I?  No, I haven't been ungrateful, unable to remember the remarkable things God has done in my life, so much as I've been....

Veiled.  There's been something between me and God that keeps me from really seeing, hearing, feeling His presence in my life.  Pride?  Weariness?  Apathy?  Shaky faith?  I don't know.  I haven't been able to put my finger on it, but suffice to say that I have been in a pattern of just going through the motions for a long time.  I don't know the last time I sat down with God and really communed with Him, at least outside of church, anyway.  Because there have been plenty of moments not unlike a party where I've really connected with a lifelong friend, but then something comes along and I promise to take up the conversation later.  And yet, I never do.

Last night we went to our church's youth group since our Life Group wasn't meeting.  Rather than a lesson, we had a conversation about how life, particularly Christian life, holds no promise of being a walk in the park, among various other cliche's.  I, being the pop culture thinker I am, immediately heard a reprise in my mind...."I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden."  That song, though not that version, is older than I am, and so universally true.  

We talked about the barriers, often self-induced - though not always, we struggle against as we strive to walk with God.  Throughout the discussion, God kept nudging me, as He often does when I'm struggling, with Scriptures that have been present in my own recent glimpses at the Word: Romans 8:31-39, Hebrews 12:1-2, and a few others that fade in my memory Toward the end of the discussion, a wise sister brought up a passage in 2 Corinthians 3 that spoke to me, as well as her thoughts regarding the words inspired by God.

12 Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. 13 We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to prevent the Israelites from seeing the end of what was passing away. 14 But their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in Christ is it taken away. 15 Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. 16 But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. 17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 

As she shared this, she likened our tendency to pull away from God and try to prove our independence in our struggles, that we can handle this On. Our. Own! to that veil on us today.  That when we turn to the Lord and proclaim our dependence, and our joyful submission to that dependence, there is nothing between us, that we are free to become....

...transformed into His image with ever increasing glory...
Huh....another repeat (look at my header).  Blog has since been redesigned {again}.

Thanks for the reminder, Father.  I thank you for your enduring patience with my stubborn independence, and praise you for your gentle and abundant love.  I pray that you will help me to proclaim my dependence on you and bless me with the unveiled glories of your presence that follows submission.  Thank you for Jesus and his humanity, his example, and his sacrifice.  Thank you for the hope you provide in the promise that you will transform us, that we are not doomed to continue the same heartaches of life over and over, but that we may rise above them with your help.  In Jesus' name, Amen.

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