Thursday, March 21, 2013

The Big Existential Comeback

You know how in life you have friends in school, college, work, etc. that are your best friends during the time you're together, but then life events like moving, graduating, new jobs, new kids, new homes, etc., etc., take you away from each other and you drift apart?  But then somehow you cross paths again?  Whether it's a bump in to each other at Target with a college friend who just happens to live in the same town still, or it's the culmination of an obsessive hey-I-wonder-what-happened-to-so-n-so dig on Facebook, you reconnect and you pick up right where you left off {barring the fact that you now have new/different kids, spouses, careers, etc} and have the same relational vibe you always did before.

That's kinda what the blogosphere is to me - this space, these posts and the comments in them.  Problem is, so many of the peeps I loved seven years ago have either 1.) like me, left their blogs to fallow, hoping for a return to what blogging once was for them or 2.) gotten mad successful and wouldn't even know me, the blogger who changed her username and url a minimum of 5 times in the past seven years, if I did happen to comment on their posts again.

Unlike many blogging friends who've reinvented over the years, I've imported all of the early stuff to keep with me.  Good, bad, ugly.  Sweet, sad, and celebratory.  I've kept it, and I'm glad I have.  Oh yeah, the older, wiser me went through and weeded out the unwise posts I may or may not have made, but the general sense of what was going on and who I was through that?  I kept that as a reminder of both the progress I've made and a chronicle of the things that plague me year after year.

How could I know what a great mirror this place would be?  What a great place for me to come and SEE myself for real? But I looked back here and saw the shaping that God has done in me in the last seven years...saw that He has a plan for me and that I just need to keep on keeping on and He will bring it to me what I was made to do.  Waiting is hard - see the above reference about the things that plague me year after year?  Patience is one of those things.  It don't come easy, that's for sure.  {It pained me to write that b/c it's grammatically incorrect, but saying it properly didn't sound very poetic...soo....}

I recently realized, at the funeral of my husband's great-aunt, that I am NOT the one to take pictures at family events - that I'm not the one who captures evidence of family gatherings and later edits them into slideshows or scrapbooks.  But I have and can still capture the events, the emotions, the day to day {which is beginning to run together too easily into an amorphous blob of a memory that I can't quite grasp} happenings of my family.  So, I need to keep coming back, keep writing, and preserve something of the present for my children.

I'm ba-aack!  So I'ma gonna try and write more, and comment more and get this place back into what it was before.  Will y'all help me kickstart again?


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