Patches of Blue Sky

The storm clouds are starting to dissipate.

Last night was Date Your Mate (p.5), for which Charlie Brown and I were desperately in need of. We'd thought to go play tennis, but our rackets are buried deep in the pits of the junk in our garage (suffice it to say, our garage is a very unorganized store-all for us), and I didn't feel like putting my back out to get at them. We ended up dropping the kiddos off, calling my brothers to beg $20 off them (CB is paid on Tuesday and will get us back out of the red), and took our black baby, Gracie, to the dog park near our house. I fell in love with a boxer pup there...getting a hankering for another 4-legged baby.

After thoroughly wearing her out, we took Gracie home and ourselves out to dinner.

Buffalo Wild Wings it was last night, and tasty at that.

I was still somewhat withdrawn, just not engaging easily. Charlie Brown addressed it, it being my depressive funk, first. He told me he knew that I was depressed and taking meds and all that, and this week just kind of catapulted me into a big hole, and what frustrated him the most was my statements along the lines of people being better without me. He then gave a very convincing dissertation about just how many people felt the opposite, and why. It's an uneasy, almost embarrassing thing for me to hear accolades for myself - depressed or not, it's just hard for me to accept that the person being talked of is yours truly. This surprises a lot of people who know me in real life - I carry myself with quite a bit of confidence and grace, or so I'm told; but inside, I'm just a little girl.

I hadn't shared much about the group with him Thursday night - I was pretty emotional while there, and trying to process it all by the time I'd gotten home. In other words, I was incommunicado and almost trancelike. So I told him that one of the things I'd gotten out of it was hearing that I wasn't alone in my thoughts, being able to say that my head knows such things aren't true, but that knowledge alone doesn't change what my heart so intensely feels. Charlie Brown seemed to get that, and asked me to just think of him and the kids with my head when my heart was trying to get the best of me.

We then walked around, browsing Home Depot's garden center, dreaming about our backyard's potential. Jasmine and crabapple blossoms perfumed the air, leaning the ambiance towards a little springtime twitterpation for Charlie Brown and his pretty little red-haired girl. Holding hands, we reminisced about how LMNOB used to call Home Depot the "Daddy Store," at first, later updated it to the "Home Store," and finally, succumbing to the proliferation of commercial marketing this last football season, she proudly announces, "there's a Home Depot..." at any sighting of their logo.

Out in the parking lot, my beloved blockhead (and I mean that in the most endearing way!) opened my door for me and embraced me, showering a series of tender kisses on my trembling lips. My heart sang, "My lover is mine, and I am his!" Who says romance has to be expensive and showy? Here I was giddy with a few heartfelt touches in the Home Depot lot...or, am I just a cheap date? LOL

We picked the kiddos up, settled them into bed at home, and celebrated the rest of our night together.

This morning, I'm feeling much better than I have in weeks...motivated to get to work at cleaning our home - which is much needed as we're hosting our Life Group from church. Love can conquer all, it seems, when that marital love combines with the most Divine Love of all; Christ Jesus, and His miraculous interventions in our everyday lives. We just have to let Him work.

Thanks to all who've been praying for me...

I can see clearly now the rain is gone...