In which my tongue becomes forked

As a result of constant biting.

Funny thing, this SID possibility, has made me suddenly uber patient with the kiddos (where has that been all their lives?), and see my kiddos for the joys that they are, which sadly, I will admit to not seeing nearly as much as I should have. It's like the behavioral cross that I've borne with them now has a reason, and thus more forgiving and understanding.

I wonder if Jesus felt that way about the cross, ya know, getting to know the hearts of men and the overall purpose and reason for everything? I'd think so, after all if anyone could make lemonade from lemons, why not the man who made wine from water?? But I digress.

For all the newfound glory and splendor that patience brings for the kiddos, I am abysmally annoyed with my husband. Granted, he's been better, a bit, but I still find him irritable and cranktastic, which translates to, for me: a BIG BABY. I'm really trying not to nag. I'm really trying to kill this fly with honey instead of vinegar. I'm really trying to ride the storm out. But, given there is no communicated reason (I have my theories - largely centered upon macho men, a category in which Charlie Brown happens to fall, not knowing how to cope in a functionally communicative way) for this immature and self-centered behavior, I don't freakin' want to carry that cross.

I have to work several evenings this month, and just want to be surprised, just once, with a clean home and reports of interactive bonding between him and the kids - not "Daddy worked on his motorcycle and we played at the neighbor's house," or "We watched ___________insert litany of television shows here." And not have to worry.

In the meantime, I'm using my "I language," and gentle requests versus demands, yada yada fluffy frou-frou therapy techniques...where I will once again prove that not only is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results insanity, but also that doing everything I know to do under the sun and yet STILL GET the same results is equally inspiring for joining loony toon-dom.

Switching gears.......

This weekend I did find hope. I read Raising a Sensory Smart Child, as per the recommendation of OT#1 (recommended by Counselor S). It further convinced me this is the issue we are facing in LMNOB, but showed me that we have a very mild case.

Re: her tendency to avoid eye contact - it gives several reasons...I decided to investigate tonight while bathing LMNOB:

"Hey girlie, do you know why you don't look at people when you're talking to them?"

"But mama, what do you mean?"

"Well, I mean when people talk usually they look at each other, but you are always looking around, even though you're a great talker. Why is that?"

"'Cuz the faces look funny."

"Oh yeah, how so?"

"Well, they're all triangley square, and just weird." At this she got quiet and somewhat downcast.

"Really? Wow...so people's faces don't look like, say, their pictures when they are talking to you?"

Shakes head no.

Whoah. Gosh, how many times have I yelled at her for not looking at me while I was scolding her? Oh yeah, serious mother guilt.

And yet, my jewel who seems to have all these issues, has somehow held it together enough for it to be undetected, save for my twinges of gut instinct during the days of her inconsolable infancy, and terrible twos that meant tantrums requiring physical restraint for LONG periods of time.

She's so smart. And it would seem, that she's used her multiple intelligences to make pretty good sense of a nonsensical world for herself. Last week, we were watching Planet Earth's episode on the sea. She knew what almost every animal, even the umbrella jellyfish, was before the announcer ever said a word. They did just do a unit where they talked about marine life in science, but man alive, I couldn't believe the detail that she knew.

We have an evaluation scheduled for this Friday, with OT #2 recommended by OT #1. Friday the 13th. It may well become a good luck sign for this family, representing the day that we secured a brighter future for her. Let's hope so.