Can I just say, "Good Lord it is beginning??" Not hardly a week into this craptastic journey and we had our first indication of the stress it is going to play in our marriage...
Another IM session with my friend Heather - no, our IM sessions are not always me bitching about Charlie Brown...
Heather says:
Hey Blondie
HAM says:
blondie???
Heather says:
Meant in a totally not blonde way... I call my kids Blondies lol
HAM says:
hey, brb - I need to get the kiddies in bed
Heather says:
ok
Heather says:
lol
HAM says:
my husband is an a$$
Heather says:
uh oh what happened
HAM says:
I can't get into it right now - he's being stupid
Heather says:
you gonna blo gabout it?
HAM says:
it's jsut his inability to process all this crap we're sifting thru
HAM says:
probly not
HAM says:
but instead of him saying what's on his mind, he's gonna nitpick everything that I could have possibly done wrong
HAM says:
it's the whole smoke and mirrors thing
Heather says:
HAM says:
he just left immediately after dinner to go to the hardware store for stuff THAT COULD WAIT and left me with the kids
Heather says:
I am sorry he is being such a butthead
Heather says:
just cuzz he needed a break or something?
HAM says:
So I read for 40 minutes with them, they got a bit hyper and I was putting them to bed when you popped up
HAM says:
then he gets on me about the laundry
Heather says:
did you yell at him? lol
HAM says:
well yeah - he NEEEDED a break, lol - he got to go away the whole damn day yesterday and ride his motor bike
Heather says:
eeeeeeeek!
HAM says:
which, truth be told is probably EXACTLY why he is being pissy
Heather says:
lol well serves him right
Heather says:
our jobs as wives is to yell when they are stupid.. I am almost sure of it
HAM says:
b/c I GENTLY told him, after he pointed out that he needed to spend MORE MONEY on the stupid bike, that his mom said if we were going to need to be sending LMNOB to therapy he was gonna have to slow his bike spending down
Heather says:
positive even
Heather says:
Heather says:
And he went nuts over that? I am getting you a frying pan
HAM says:
and he got all mad - like she knows how much money I've spent, who does she think I am and all that crap
Heather says:
A BIG CAST IRON ONE!
HAM says:
I was calm then and said, whoah dude, she didn't mean it like that
HAM says:
what she meant was...ok so there is a part that is $75, not too bad a price, but that COULD be 1-2 therapy sessions, kwim?
HAM says:
to which he calmed down...a bit. But it is that whole, "I'm a big boy I'm gonna do what I want, how I want, no matter what" kind of thing
Heather says:
grrr
HAM says:
and the laundry IS bad - but uh, dude like I don't have a big pile of SHIT on my plate right now.....
HAM says:
sorry for being so profane - he just bugs the hell out of me sometimes
HAM says:
so I did yell at him
HAM says:
I believe I just said, "Then do it your own goddamn self!"
Heather says:
Good for you
HAM says:
lol....
HAM says:
I dunno, I don't exactly see that as the "submissive" behavior that Paul and Peter talk about in the Bible
HAM says:
Heather says:
lol
Heather says:
Yah, I dunno about that
Heather says:
But I bet it made you feel better
Heather says:
huh?
Heather says:
You ready for me to come down and us go out for a girls night or something? Leaving him with the kidlets ALONE lol
HAM says:
sorta - I just want him to GET it
HAM says:
he doesn't GET it so much of the time
Heather says:
HA HA dont we all wish that of our husbands
HAM says:
and get this....he was mad at me for talking with my sis on the phone, while I walked with the kids w/o him (he was cooking) saying, "You gonna spend time with your hubby tonight?
HAM says:
So then what does the dumbass do but go to the store AS SOON as dinner is done!!
HAM says:
WTH????
Heather says:
humm mayeb he thought it was paybacks?
HAM says:
so then he saw the IM window open and starts, "all you ever do is sit on the computer..."
Heather says:
*HUGS* If it helps I never see you on the computer
HAM says:
Sorry, you sent me a mixed message, sorry I didn't swoon into a lap that seemed to be all, "I don't want to be around you even if I say I do,"
HAM says:
Oh, and I believe that I told him I wanted to spend all NIGHT with him Friday night, iykwim, and he ignored that offer
HAM says:
offer, and kind of plea for him to wrap me up and take care of me....ignored
HAM says:
so sorry, if I seem a bit bitchy to you tonight (that is my ongoing conversation to him, not to you - though if so, sorry to you too!)
Heather says:
HAM says:
lol
Heather says:
no no no its ok
Heather says:
Its called a womanly ear... ventage
HAM says:
yes
Heather says:
We understand us being women
Heather says:
Men dont get it
Heather says:
so you cant vent to a man cuzz they go HUH
Heather says:
I dont get it
HAM says:
or emotional diarrhea as I prefer to call it
HAM says:
hurts before, hurts during and sometimes while wiping up, but it sure feels better afterward!
Heather says:
LOL
Heather says:
good imagary
HAM says:
LOL, sorry I'm a dork
Heather says:
LOL
Heather says:
no no it was hilarious
Heather says:
I gotta remember that one...
Heather says:
but seriously... do you ever get out for a girls night?
HAM says:
Well....sorta. I have a standing Pilates date with a gf and it ends up being more of a jaw exercise after the real workout
HAM says:
he resents it
Heather says:
lol
HAM says:
he's really resentful of me lately, it seems
Heather says:
Heather says:
Well.. sometimes our husbands know that all we do is bad mouth them and that is wrong of us... but it feels so good to us
Heather says:
and then they resent that we are making them look bad
Heather says:
to other people
Heather says:
at least that is the way it is with Jake
Heather says:
He says... do you ever say ANYTHING positive about me?!?
HAM says:
he keeps saying, in not so many words, "c'mere, let me crap on you and be a jerk, go away, hey why are you so distant??"
Heather says:
lol I said No
HAM says:
lol
Heather says:
sounds like he has some issues that need to be worked out
Heather says:
HAM says:
and then he wonders why the computer is my friend - b/c I get way more support from it than I do from him
Heather says:
Ooooooooooh have you told him that?
HAM says:
not to mention that a lot of the time on the puter is, uh, duh, SCHOOL
HAM says:
I'm not telling him anything tonight, all he does is turn it back on me
HAM says:
I'm a little too charged for that right now
HAM says:
at least I recognize it though, eh?
Heather says:
Yah... have you ever tried writing him a letter so that you can READ and re-read it and get your thoughts straight and delete the really evil ones (i did that just this morning) lol
HAM says:
he ACTUALLY said this - when I told him I needed a short break, b/c I 'd been with them all night tonight (walk before dinner, dinner, then while he was gone) that it WAS MY CHOICE to read with them before bed, as if I could have ignored them and done something else!
HAM says:
are you freaking kidding me?!?
HAM says:
*sigh*
Heather says:
uhhhhhh
Heather says:
he really said that????
Heather says:
WHat a maroon!
HAM says:
as for the writing thing - that has NEVER worked - and when I say NEVER, I mean Never for us (though it is something I like to do, in theory)
HAM says:
yup, that is my husband. God help me, but I actually do love him
HAM says:
Heather says:
Heather I need to just reach out and give you a cyber hug.. FEEL IT NOW!!! I am doing it... and Its coming...
HAM says:
why is a mystery sometimes
HAM says:
lol, ahhh thanks
Heather says:
Heather says:
NO PROB
HAM says:
ok - i promised I'd watch Black donnellys with him
Heather says:
he is home?
HAM says:
not gonna give him more fodder cuz I'm stubborn like that
HAM says:
yup, he's downstairs
Heather says:
Tell him I said HELLLLOOOOOOOOO! And I am praying for you guys
HAM says:
Thanks!
Heather says:
I look forward to MEETing him
Heather says:
And bringing a frying pan
Heather says:
Just dont tell him
Heather says:
tee hee hee
HAM says:
Lol, he is a kick in the pants, when he's on his game.....he's sooooooooo OFF right now
HAM says:
must go now!
Heather says:
well I will pray for ON-ness
Heather says:
OK BYE!
Heather says:
starts in 1 minute BYE!
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