Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Actual Dinner Conversations this Week

After the umpteenth snarky utterance of "Oh yeah, you're a baby!" by my darling son, I decided to open up a can of Disney's teachable moments whoopa$$.

"Kids, you listen up and listen good. Remember Bambi?"


"Well, on Bambi, Thumper's Mama said, 'If you can't say anything nice - don't say anything at all.' That's the new rule - okay? If it's not nice then don't say it."

When I checked comprehension and/or whether they were really listening, LMNOB asked wide-eyed, "Now, Thumper was the rabbit, right?"

"Yes, but do you remember what his mama said?"

:shrugs: ... "Thumper was a boy, right?"

I couldn't help it.

Hilarious laughter, indicative of new heights in parental exasperation, ensued between myself and Charlie Brown. Between belly laughs, I managed to choke out, "But Daddy, what color was Thumper? And was he a jackrabbit or a cottontail?" to which I thought Charlie Brown was going to either shed actual tears over, lose control of his bladder, or both. :sigh:

Tonight, Punkinhead asks, "Mama, are you goin' somewheres?"


:groans and whines: "I want you to go somewheres dough!"

Muwah! Love you too, son. Sure am glad the feeling is mutual.

Actually, I'm not that bitter - it was again, followed by laughter.

One day soon my kids are going to say something brilliant at the dinner table, and I, having been conditioned to laugh at what is bound to be nonsensical, will guffaw at the most inopportune time of their life, therein destroying their self-confidence for the rest of their lives.

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