Sunday, December 30, 2007

So, Hammy walks into a bar...

Today Charlie Brown and I figured that hot wings sounded good for dinner.

It ain't the new year yet - shush it.

So, we called the bar around the corner from our house and put in a to-go order.

I am not a bar-goer, never have been (something about getting knocked up shortly after one's 21st b'day that puts the kabash on barhoppin') really. Aside from the occasional drink with dinner out, I prefer to drink at home.

I walked in to what looked like a slow night - five, maybe seven patrons watching football at the bar. I informed the female of the staff that I was the to-go order and she replied that it was almost ready, about another minute for the fries.

I looked around. And noticed a sign that said:

Sexual harassment is not reported here - but it may be graded.


Right about then, one of the bartenders, a middle aged man who appeared to have been drinking as much or more than his customers, glances over and says, "Well, shee-it, if she ain't a redhead!"

I smiled out of the corner of my eye and said, "Yup, that's me."

He got all clever-like, tilted his head and drawled, "Through and through?"

The woman apologized profusely - "It's not normally like this."

I told her it was ok, that I'd been dealing with this question since junior high.

I put my best seductress look on, batted my lashes and said, "Yes, sir, through. And. Through. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to my husband and have a little fun tonight." Wink.

Then, I sashayed outta there, enjoying the fact that the drunken bartender's jaw now hung slack.

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