Saturday, April 12, 2008

This is Your Cue to Laugh Maniacally With Me

Because if I don't laugh right now, long and hard, I will burst into heaving sobs and cry out that trademarked cliche of suburban motherhood:

"I guess we just can't have nice things!"

As it is, my head is still spinning from the chaotic turn of events here at casa del Meyer that had me running around, Brick Tamland style, initially noting "I don't know what we're yelling about!" and then just wanting to shut down with my hands clapped over my ears, screaming, "LOUD NOISES!" If Anchor Man gave me any lasting entertainment value at all, it would have had to have been with this character...I use those two lines a lot.

The set-up:

After staying home with the kids yesterday, getting the house in order, visiting and crafting with LMNOB and my friend DSW, and having had a great evening last night (Charlie Brown has developed a mentoring kind of relationship with one of his younger co-workers, and we had him and his girlfriend over for dinner last night), I was feeling really peacful-like and content this afternoon. We'd gone out for breakfast, as our Saturday tradition stands, and had returned home. I was in the very zen zone, ya'll.

Which is why the next chain of events felt completely surreal.

First, the background to the set-up.....

Earlier in the week, Charlie Brown had surprised me one night by beginning to paint Punkinhead's room. We'd talked about possible color schemes last weekend, but had not decided anything definitive. Or so I'd thought. Until I came home from grant hearings Monday night and he was just finishing the first wall. Ok, cool. Initiative. Charlie Brown always does great with home improvement projects. YAY!

In February, just as the great day-care swap was looming, Punkinhead had expressed his frustration with a bath-tub crayon one night. The crayon's effect on textured, flat white paint was not as temporary as it was on tub tile. In fact there was nothing temporary about it. That event alone would have qualified for the above nice things mantra, but it was after all, just paint and we had wanted to paint his room anyways.

So Charlie Brown's goal for the day was to finish painting. Punkinhead has been camping out in LMNOB's room all week and we need to change that prior to returning back to the school routine.

The kids were playing on the PC upstairs, I was watching Autism the Musical (which was fabulous, btw) and Charlie Brown was painting. I eventually went upstairs to do some laundry. After Charlie Brown got the first coat of Realm done, (seen below)he shut the door to Punkinhead's room, and gathered the kids and Porter up to watch some Motocross. I was folding laundry upstairs. Punkinhead came up, got his Nana Blankie from his room and went back downstairs.

Shortly thereafter the chaos ensued.

We had a Predicament.

With a capital P to the Nth degree: Painting+Punkinhead+Puppy = Pissed off Parents looking at extensive Pocketbook damage.

Charlie Brown is yelling, with that panic-stricken chord that rarely escapes his lips, running up the stairs with Porter in his arms. I look down and there are footprints of Realm all up and down the carpeted stairs. Which are a very light tan. Also, on the puppy, who is white with brown spots, are two bright teal hind legs. Sorry, no photo, we had had to act fast! I did, however, briefly entertain whipping out the hair drier and leaving him teal - I mean, why should Boulder pet owners get all the limelight?

"It's everywhere...on the couch, the [hardwood] floor downstairs....Get him in the tub."

I did and ran bath water in the master bathroom. However, I neglected to shut the bathroom door and out jumped Porter, dripping wet, Realm colored water splattered everywhere, and was now being tracked over my bedroom carpet. Which is the same very light tan.

I was now making loud, obscene, and incoherent noises (as I began new thoughts in mid-stream of consciousness) in trying to grab the dog and get him back in the tub. After I got him back in, I shut the door, then attempted cleaning up the dark teal puddles on my floor while simultaneously trying to ensure he stayed in the tub. It was a Twister-eque scene remniscent of a date-night bad comedy movie.

I toweled Porter off and put him in his crate while Charlie Brown and I applied Goo Gone, finger nail polish remover, and other remedies to our teal-tinted carpet. While we were able to diminish the appearance, our carpet is toast. Thankfully, our wood floors and new leather couches are ok.

Punkinhead and LMNOB then received a thorough talking-to about the importance of doing what they are told, when they are told to do it (i.e. SHUT your bedroom door so the dog doesn't get into it).

I now know what our next major home improvement project is going to be.

© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved


  1. Oh no! I can see the same chaos occurring here just without the dog and insert a 2 year old!

  2. Oh dear, Oh dear, Oh dear


    Oh dear

    psssst I like the color too....

    Oh dear

  3. I am sorry but I ROTFL at this... Oh that would have been a funny video to watch ;) AFTER it was cleaned ;)