Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Day of Affirmations

Monday was a treasure of a day, you know, that rare day that you wish you could laminate, tuck into your back pocket and stare at on hard days?  Like a sobriety coin or the serenity prayer or some other such token designed to give both a reminder and moment of perspective.

It came on the heels of an abnormal Sunday.

Normally we go to church and worship our God with the greatest church family we could ask for, but alas, Colton had awakened me at o'dark-thirty Sunday morning with that pungent smell that makes a parent gag at the prospect of the work to come: VOMIT.  Thus, we remained home, opting to keep our GI bug to ourselves, because we are loving and kind and thoughtful like that.

I was beyond tired, as I'd had to change the sheets, try to scrape the big chunks off the dirty ones [blech!!], go downstairs and rummage through the bowls to find a suitable repository for future episodes, and then tuck my little guy back into bed, only to not so much later be awakened by a feverish and coughing baby.  This mom job has got some wonky hours.

I'd used Sunday to get a TON of housework done and scarcely sat down except to eat, drink or use the bathroom.  Meanwhile, my husband obliviously looked on and was perfectly content to laze about, lifting nary a finger of aid, with the kids watching TV for a full day.  That sly ole witch Resentment tiptoed into my mind.

"Why is it that you had to give up your sleep AND do all the work?"

"Shut up, Resentment*.  He works 50+ hours of manual labor a week to keep the roof over our head."

"Yeah, well you work hard 24/7 with no holidays or anything!"

* This is purely for your literary entertainment - as crazy as I may get from time to time, I do not ACTUALLY have conversations with personified emotions.

True enough, I thought - but I've been trying so hard to keep a peaceful and content perspective and just be a good Christian wife - so, I let it go, albeit with a few heavy sighs, as I tend to do.

Monday arrived with gorgeously clear blue skies - with none of the clouds that had uncharacteristically been plaguing the Colorado skies for nearly a week.

That alone was a dose of positivity to my soul, let alone the warmer temperatures promised by the forecasters.  I'd not been able to get out and run but once in the previous 2 weeks.

And seeing Kelsey beam from ear to ear as she carried in her homemade birthday cupcakes to class, because now that I'm staying at home I can make time for those special touches that I couldn't when I was working.  That smile spoke volumes of affirmations to me, the junkie of all words of appreciation love languagers.  Those affirmations said, "It is right that you are staying at home, even if it is hard at times.  It is making such a difference to them.  Et. Cet. Er. A."

When the baby and I got home, I spent some time in the Word and prayed for my prayer group friends, then set about tidying up the kitchen for a bit.  And there she was.  Resentment, grinning at me and begging to come in and dish about all the things husbands do wrong and why can't they just help a little bit without having to be asked?

I looked at the clock and noticed the outdoor temp was well above 30 degrees, and with the sun, well, "Resentment, check you later," I said, "I'm going for a run to clear my head."

The air felt so pure, so quenching to my lungs that hungered for something more than the stale air of the indoors.  The sun steeped me in energy and I could feel the cells within me come alive.  I had my baby, my music, and my God with me and all was right in the world as I found my rhythm.  The songs on the Slacker playlist were all up tempo - Third Day's Come Together pumped me up and we were off, well on our way to outpace my usual mile time.

I silently told God that I didn't want to have these feelings of resentment - that I knew we both did a lot to contribute to our family and that it was all part of the tradeoffs - woman stays home and man decides she has more time to do things around the house, that going out and making a living is all he has to do, that he's off the clock when he comes home.  Even if it isn't exactly true, I could see how things could get construed that way. I prayed for a peaceful and amicable resolution.

Midway through my second mile, after my first long hill, my phone buzzed with a text from Seth:
Sorry I was such a slug yesterday, but thanks for letting me be one.  First Monday in ages that I feel totally rested.  <3 you, S.
It was what I needed at that moment, and my heart soared.

I love you too babe.  So much. 

And the tears of gratitude welled in the corners of my eyes as my cheeks turned upward.

My thoughts turned heavenward - Thank you, Father , you've done so much in us and for us these past few years - always, really, but especially in the past few years.

The rest of my run was good.  Could've been great but seeing as I was low on sleep due to Sunday's events and that I'd run hard on Saturday and was still sore, I maxed out fairly early and only made it 2 1/2 miles instead of the 5 I'd been working toward.  I walked the remainder of the loop and returned home, free of Resentment's haggling.

Awhile later the phone rang.

It was Seth.

"So my Dad called..."

Oh no - the stupid car loan bank called them since they are a reference on the loan.  Great.

"And their church has decided to send us a check to help with the finances."

"What?!?"  Tears were now falling down my face, as I'd just been looking at our checkbook much like the widow with the oil must have looked at her oil jar - not worried, but knowing that it would eventually run out, and soon.

"How great is our God, right?"

No kidding.  He has been SO GOOD to us, always, but especially this past year in all our trials, He has been with us all the way and taking care of us so faithfully.

And how He loves me (and you, and you, and you) - so much that he gave me a whole day with affirmations JUST for me, whom he knows by the hairs on my head, so why wouldn't he know just the tricks for me?

I like days like that.

Plus, I had GREAT hair after the shower I took to rid myself of the running stench.

Does it GET any better?

© 2006-present Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved


  1. Been there, done that...(with the hubby stuff).

    How is your little one? Hope feeling better!

  2. =))) Love love love stories like these!

  3. This rocks 18 ways and then some. Yay!