Tuesday, April 30, 2013


Yes, it's been a month since I posted my last post.

The social media dust has settled some regarding the supreme court's pending ruling on gay marriage, as people have changed their profile pics back to themselves from their equality symbol.

I never changed mine to an equality sign.  Partly due to my belief that slacktivist reactions such as re-posting and sharing pictures doesn't actually change things.  It was also partly due to my fears of upsetting people whom I love and respect who see this issue much differently than I do.  Knowing that has made me upset with myself, and to any GLBTQ friends I may have out there, I'm sorry.

I meant to follow up on my last post - meant to elaborate and use the adulterous woman, the Samaritan woman, the prostitute who washed Jesus' feet as parallels to GLBTQ folks in today's world.  I meant to ask some tough questions, and get some healthy dialogue going like Niki and Becky, because, honestly, like Joy, I'm not sure as a Christian how I feel about condemning homosexuality, even though I know what the Bible says.  But I also wasn't sure I wanted to say that I cherry-picked the parts of the Bible I adhere to, or at least be perceived as saying as much, like Glennon did in this post.

So, I didn't.

Partly because I've been busy (job-hunting is time-consuming, yo).  But mostly?  Mostly I was afraid it would make some people at church see me differently.  Which is ridiculous, you know?  Especially because LOVE, as in that perfect kind of love authored by Christ, does not entertain fear, does not breed it, doesn't even coexist with it because it drives fear the heck outta one.  At least, that's what my Bible tells me in 1 John 4:18.

But the topic just won't go away in my life.

It came up by way of Boy Scouts of America since Seth is a Cub Master for Colton's Cub Scout pack.

I can't tell you how many times we received an e-mail from National Council asking for us to complete a survey with a special indicator that would tell HQ that we had provided our input to the proposal they were considering regarding policies toward gays in scouts.  I'd say we got that particular e-mail 3, maybe 4 times, even though we filled the survey out twice.

Bottom line for us - we would keep working with Scouts regardless of their policy stance.  Scouting is not a publicly funded organization, thus, we respect their right to reserve membership as a matter of their freedom to do so.  That said, I felt it would be contrary to the BSA's call to be good citizens and treat anyone from any walk of life with respect.  I don't fear gay pedophiles infiltrating scouts and violating boys anymore than I do pedophiles who identify as straight; a fear which is virtually nonexistent due to the BSA policy of two-deep leadership.  BSA has strong religious roots, but they are not supposed to be sectarian, thus, I do not see how keeping gay Unitarians who do not feel they are violating God is in keeping with the organization.

I did get frustrated when the vote decided that scouts could be openly gay, but leaders could not.  So what happens to boys who advance all the way through, decide to come out, maybe have a family later or just wish to continue as a leader on their own, and they are denied?  What about the outdoorsy gay dads who have adopted (or have biological kids) sons who want to do scouts with them?

It came up at Pinewood Derby among some of the moms, and I was the minority regarding the matter.  Which is fine, I understand that people are going to have different ideas and we don't all have to agree.  And the opinion sharing was done amicably.  The part that hurt my heart, though, was when I asked what about men in leadership who have habitual sins in their life (i.e. pornography, lying, addictions, adultery, etc) that are still ongoing, how come that is ok, and basically I was told that in those instances, their sins weren't public and were between God and that man.

I guess, if that works for people to swallow that, but it grieves my heart that so many Christians have accepted this idea about secret sin, with its implicit teachings (because yes, your secret habits are totally visible in the way you act and kids pick up on these things, often embrace them too) as ok.  I don't follow that.  In fact, the overarching message I get from the Bible is that God wants, has always wanted, our hearts.  He's like that old Cheap Trick song: I want you to want me, I need you to need me, I'd love you to love me...  Our actions, public and especially private, extend from our hearts - Proverbs 4:23-26, Matthew 12:34 and Luke 6:45 - and it is particularly easy to publicly serve God, but if we say it is ok to sin when all eyes are off of us...then our hearts are not His.

Then there is the issue of same-sex marriage.  It was in my FB feed today b/c Colorado has passed legislation in favor of civil unions and there was a story by the newspaper being promoted.  It wasn't long before religion got brought up in the comments section.  Even if it was a universally held belief by Christians that homosexuality was a sin that absolutely had to be abstained from (as opposed to infidelity, gluttony, and other equally important sins that while classified as such, still happen from time to time and it's all good because grace, right?), last I checked, we are a democracy not a theocracy.  I don't get why the hullabaloo about giving same-sex couples the same rights that married men and women enjoy.  I don't understand why people do not see this as the civil rights issue that it is, and I also do not see why, despite Scripture's admonition for us to leave judgment for non-believers to God, so many insist on decrying that God's law is being violated.  Also, where was all of this religious mob when divorce laws became so lax that hetero marriage became a laughingstock in this nation?

And finally...I woke up with gay news on the radio this morning.  See, the husband's alarm radio is a sports talk show, and obvs the big news is Jason Collins coming out.  It was encouraging talk, accepting talk, and it just made me know that I needed to finally get this all off of my chest.

In the end, if nothing else, perhaps my Christian friends and I can leave my stance at 'a disputable matter,' (I'll even count myself as the one with weaker faith if it helps) and move on, together.  Because I still believe in Jesus, and I still believe that everyone's (big finger pointing at self) a sinner and needs Him, and that's what really matters, isn't it?



  1. Hey there, Heather! This is a topic that has always bugged me and am glad to know that there are other Christians out there that feel the same way I do. We're called by God to love everyone no. matter. what. The list doesn't specify those that don't meet some special criteria. It's everyone. To make a choice other than that creates a bunch of clanging cymbals that drown out the true love of Jesus. Thanks for saying something, and I'm standing right there with you! ~Jenny

  2. Hey Jenny! Thanks for checking this out. Don't know if you checked out the links, but the one to Joy's blog is probably the one that hit me the most. It didn't change my mind, I've always had issue with this matter, having come to Christ without a church upbringing, but it reaffirmed some of what I've always believed.

  3. Hi Heather! Your last sentence...Yes, that is what really matters. Thank you for sharing your heart. It is really scary to put it all out there. I will tell you, having three boys in the scouting program is really what brought this issue to a head in my life. I had to let myself go really deep into some ugly places in my own heart as I tried to find my footing while listening for the heart of my Papa God on the matter. So hard! I am so glad that He is willing to work with me. So glad that He has it all figured out before I "discover" it.
    I know that Niki and I offended many people. We offended ourselves in places! But we needed to say some things. And our goal was to say it in love. I hope we did.
    It is a long journey but so worth it.

  4. Another great post, Heather. I refuse to count myself among the "weaker faith" and I don't think you fit that description either. Neither of us are easily swayed by opinion regardless of whose it is. It takes a mountain-sized faith to be able to discuss difficult topics like sexuality of any kind, and you have to press into Jesus the whole time, willing to be proven wrong by the Father. I agree with what Beckie said, and I'm glad you were able to get this off your chest. :)