Origins of the "red-headed stepchild"

Editor's Note: When I started this blog in 2006, I initially titled it "Ramblings of a Red-Headed Stepchild." I changed it several years back to Heather in the Making to more accurately reflect what my writing is all about.

Never once had I thought to research the origin of the phrase "red-headed stepchild," for I thought I knew what it meant and why. My family of origin used this phrase quite frequently, as there are a number of redheads on the maternal side of my lineage, including myself. Apparently, my paternal DNA has a history of red-heads too, but we'll get to that later.

My mother's cousin, Shelly, had hair approximate to the shade of Ronald McDonald's.

Then there was Aunt Ardell, my great-grandmother's sister, who had "peach" hair - as I knew her anyway. -Peach hair is the demise of redheads who age without going gray, and instead go white; it's a curious phenomenon that makes me giggle.

Grandma has always had gray hair, at least that's how my memories serve...but old family pictures show her with hair similar to the color mine's turning out to be; a coppery auburn that is clearly red to some, and only kinda red to others.

Then my son, he's got hair that most would call strawberry, though his older sister, age 5, tells him it's "orange."

Growing up in my family, Shelly received most of the red-headed stepchild comments, and for good cause as she was star of many of the family's memorable moments. Shelly was always pulling practical jokes in public. This often resulted in a family member saying, "Don't look at me, she's the red-headed stepchild!" Most of the time, in this context, red-headed stepchild was meant to equate something akin to the family idiot. Other times, when Shelly embarrassed one of us - often - red-headed stepchild was used similarly to the phrase "black sheep of the family." It was always a good-natured rib at her.

Soon, though, I received the red-headed stepchild brand. In my case it was more literal.

The product of two 16 y/o's who had no business having a child at that point in life, I grew up not knowing my biological father, and Mom quickly moved on to my first stepfather, who was the father of my 3 siblings. I had red hair; I was the step-child of our family - it fit.

Which brings me to my research...

To tell the truth, I only thought to research it because I used it in my blog title! So upon discovering the origins of the red-headed stepchild, I was a little dismayed at the dark connotations...and later, the ironic applicability to my own childhood.

In short, I found the term is often preceded by "I'll beat you like a..." - something that my ears had never heard. Apparently the reasons for the direction of violence toward such a child are attributed to:

--assumed illegitimacy of the red-headed stepchild - the red hair being an obvious indicator of a different father
--the mythic fiery temperament of a red-head combining with the sullen attitude of a stepchild

And perhaps the worst fact about the phrase?
It's interchangeable with the phrase "I'll beat you like a rented mule." Somewhere along the crossroads of societal beliefs and the etymological path, a stepchild became equivalent to an animal loathed by many, used by all.

Sadly, the things that created this phrase did hold true for me while growing up. My stepfather never accepted me, despite his claims that he "loved like one of his own." He was occasionaly abusive and did beat me like a red-headed stepchild.

It's pretty ironic to me now, knowing the history of the term, that what I always thought of as my own superficial, yet literal, label would so accurately describe my childhood...

Any other etymological biographies out there? Hmmm.....