The Wonder of it All

Here I sit in life, trying to make sense of my plans gone astray, see and possibly understand God's plan for my life, attempt a compromise of the two, or figure out if my life is to be something completely different. Melding the bumps of my past into smoothness for the future just isn't happening.

[I just spelled happening h-a-p-p-i-n-i-n-g - that's my brain these days, out of the blue fusions of random things like happiness and happening - doesn't the Washington Post do a word contest like this? Maybe I should think some stuff up?!?]

Coincidence or Providence, whatever you personally believe in - I'm thinking Providence, focused my mind on the lyrics of this song (I know, ya'll are probably like, Don't you just listen to music without analyzing it?) as I was alternately deep in thought, strategizing my running rhythm, and actually hearing the music pulsing into my ears last night.

Wonder Of It All (Next Year)
Artist: Monday Morning

Album: Fool's Paradise

Year: 2005
All my hopes and dreams inside

visions lurk behind my eyes

something new behind it grows

and You smile as my heart knows

to be another still with You

I'm the one that loved You through

but I'm still nothing next to You

I'm still nothing next to You

what I've seen and where I've been

what's breaking out and breaking in

who I love and I despise melting into compromise

how I've changed and how I've learned

becoming less becoming more

and I'm still nothing next to you

I'm still nothing next to you

the sickness my mind's battled long

the center of my every song

the beauty of my voice it fades

into a spiritual cascade

flowing from Your perfect smile

I've avoided all the while

but I'm still nothing next to you

I'm still nothing next to you

all the future seems unclear

never moving never near

but You hold me as I scream

wake me from my wicked dream

something out there waits for me

hand in hand we wait

for it

but I'm still nothing next to You

I'm still nothing without to You

and the wonder of it all

is I'm still standing

and the wonder of it all

is we're still standing

never planned it

and I wonder where I'll be next year

will You stand right next to me

will You hold me faithfully

should I question all these things

what makes me so deserving

of something that I've thrown away

coming back for me today

when I'm still nothing next to You

I'm still nothing next to You

hearts are broken just to mend

when will my brokenness end

lending my mind to dreams it seems

some things are never meant to be

but faith it lingers as I die

inside surrendering I cry

I'm still nothing next to You

I'm still nothing without You

time is a broken dream

time is an endless change

time is an offering

time has an endless sting

time has a world to bring

time, it's a broken dream mended while lovers sing

Did they steal my brain? Does this mean I'm, *gasp* , NORMAL?!?