Note to telemarketers:

Do not call this house,

and ask,

(in your broken English,

accented from somewhere in the middle East,

so thickly

that I scarce can make sense of what you've just said)

"Hullo ma'am

may I ask for to speak

with Charlie Brown?"

And when I answer,

"He's not available;

may I take a message?"

Do not say,

"Is this

THE wife?"

I am A wife,

not THE wife.

I am Charlie Brown's wife

and I have a name.

For I am not an object,

which the word the should proceed.

Granted, I know that

cultural differences

and not being a native

English speaker

contributed to this erroneously insensitive

manner of speech.

But just because I know that

doesn't make me happy.

You, sir,

should know your audience,

and know what I was able to:

Cultural differences

can make

the most seemingly normal and neutral speech

blare offensively in the receiver's ear

Not to mention how damned intrusive you folks are anyway.

Is it not enough that my unsavory relatives can reach me at home,

but that I have to deal with the likes of you too?