Saturday, August 19, 2006

Musique du Jour

For my mental state, this silly song's chorus says it all.

Then, on one of my cd's Big'N'Tall made me that I recently reacquainted myself with, I discovered Toby Lightman's Everyday. Gosh, had she been living my life when she wrote this? Actually now that I've heard more of her stuff, I'm convinced she's a mix of Sheryl Crow and myself. ;-)


Every day is a struggle
Between what I want to say and
what I want to keep to myself
And the words that manage to leave my lips
Don't hurt me, but they hurt everyone else
So I find myself in need of a pause
I'm not sure why, but I think that it's because
Of this desire to be what others want me to be
Which is nothing close to me


But I'll see better when the smoke clears
The smoke clears inside my head
And I can listen when the screaming doesn't repeat
everything I've said
And all that remains is me and who I am at the end of the day
And this happens every day ... yeah...


Every day is a battle
Between what I want to know
and what I don't want to figure out
And everything in between in these thoughts of mine
that you know I can't live without


So I find myself in need of a pause
I'm not sure why, but I think that it's because
Of this desire to be what others want me to be
Which is nothing close to me


But I'll see better when the smoke clears
The smoke clears inside my head
And I can listen when the screaming doesn't repeat
everything I've said
All that remains is me and who I am at the end of the day
And this happens every day ... yeah... oooh...


But I'll see better when the smoke clears
The smoke clears inside my head
And I can listen when the screaming doesn't repeat
everything I've said
All that remains is me and who I am at the end of the day
And this happens every day ... this happens every day
This happens every day... yeah...


Right now I'm sitting the fence as to whether this smoke is situational or a reprise of my depression. Thus far, I'm still getting up in the morning, and still caring for myself, albeit in the least time consuming manner - the girl is busy, folks!

In the mean time, I'm singing about the smoke clearing...sing on Toby girl....

1 comment:

  1. Hugs. I like the poem, and I get frustrated with the way I and others prioritize (or lack prioritizing) sometimes, too.

    ReplyDelete