Saturday, November 24, 2007

Apparently She's Watched a Lot of Seinfeld

Last week, LMNOB had a weeklong homework assignment in which she needed to create, with the help of parents, a scarecrow from "materials easily found around the home." In addition to the scarecrow, LMNOB had to provide a "written profile" of her scarecrow, which was rather MadLibs-esque.

Well, being the superior mother that I am, I put off doing this with LMNOB until the night before it was to be turned in. I mean what good mother doesn't impart the tenets of Juggling 101 - The Artful Uses of Procrastination?

In doing so, I revoked a bit of LMNOB's creative license, informing her that we were going to use Daddy's childhood Mr. T doll, (a homemade Cabbage Patch prototype with chocolate nylon for skin and black yarn constituting his mohawk and facial hair, all lovingly crafted by Grandma Nina looooong before the est. date of casa del Meyer) with the aid of a paperbag - to be decorated by LMNOB, and other stylistic embellishments.

She hated the idea.

I told her it was too bad.

So, we dressed said doll in a pink longsleeved thermal of LMNOB's and tan corduroy overalls of Punkinhead's. Then I had LMNOB decorate her bag, fringed it around the bottom, slipped it over the head of the doll, and then secured it with a shoelace tied around the neck.

LMNOB felt that it was missing hair. I found some yellow and maroon raffia in my largely unused craft drawer, and we proceeded to glue the girl some hair.

Et Voila!

LMNOB deemed her scarecrow "Autumn" and proceeded to write her profile.

The next night at dinner, Charlie Brown asked her how her scarecrow went over.

Eyes downcast and sullen, "Good."

"Oh?" questioned Charlie Brown.

A pouty LMNOB recounted that, "Megan got most stylish," and further conveyed her indignation at this fact.

"Well, did everyone get an award?" Charlie Brown pressed on, all investigative and involved parental-like.

In true drama queen fashion, LMNOB made us probe even further when she answered with a one-word report, "Yeah."

My turn. "Well, what did you get?" I asked her.

LMNOB masterfully merged the heavy sigh, with an exaggerated eyeroll, and a pouty lip number, then muttered with the most downcast eyes she'd utilized all night, "Most Breathtaking."

We applauded her and told her that breathtaking was good, and then tried to demonstrate by correctly using breathtaking in a sentence. With context.

I am beginning to suspect that our love for Seinfeld, albeit in syndication, has carried more weight than this little language lesson did, because it was as if she knew this alternate meaning of the word existed, and surely that, and that alone, is what was meant by her award.


  1. THIS POST IS NO GOOD without a BREATHTAKING picture ;)


  2. I'm with Princess and Heather. Produce the goods.

  3. Look for it tonight - Autumn will make her appearance this evening. I would have put it up with the post originally, but I'd forgotten the camera cord on our trip. Then, upon coming home, left the camera in Charlie Bronwn's vehicle.