Thursday, November 15, 2007

Open Letter to Pat Monahan

Uh, dude, have we met before?

If so, might I wager to say that it was, oh, In. My. Dreams - where I simply can't behave myself? You are a hottie, that's for sure.

Because I'd almost swear your hit song is about moi.

Almost...cuz ya see, I'm actually a Taurus. And stubborn, always gotta be right me wants to point out that there is no such thing as a Gemini Capricorn - that is unless you were born in parts, and six months between parts at that. Details, right?

But...methinks that more likely than a metaphysical meeting, is the likelihood that I secretly pine for Charlie Brown write and sing/read a song like this, about me, to me.

Seriously - men across the world ought to take note of this here little hit.

Wanna know why it is so appealing to women?

This part here is for the men in the world, b/c I'm sure you already know this, you lyrical genius, you.

Because it's not all Hollywood male crooner gushing (Whitesnake's Is This Love comes to mind - gag!) about some perfect woman in head-to-toe spandex with big hair, a woman whom none of us could ever relate to, or even pretend to be.

Instead, it's about a slightly nutty, very idiosyncratic, spunky little gal - a woman we all know and love within each one of ourselves.

So we can pretend that we are an object of affection [yours or otherwise] and the sole inspiration for such an upbeat and funky little ditty whether we are in the shower, prepping for the 9-5 life, or at the end of the workday on the car ride home - and what woman couldn't use that fun 5 minutes of make-believe in her day?

And here is where men everywhere should take note - this song is so unbelievably sexy because of the way Pat knows his woman. It's such an intimate inventory of all the wacky ways of his girl, and then he honors her neurotic repertoire by saying how much it means to him that she's his. We women long to hear some such similar homage, specific to our unique characteristics, from our mates - you know, something a little more detailed than, "You're a great cook; good mom; hard worker; blah, blah, blah." We get that kind of fluff from our girlfriends! And, quirks are fair game too - so long as you illustrate that they actually endear us to you.

So, Pat - I pink puffy heart you because I think you just revolutionized the male-to-female love song.


  1. Hmmmm . . .


    I think my problem is all the ladies I've tried to date tend to dump me before they really open up to me and show me that nutty side.

    You think that guy is attractive?

    I always thought women were more about mental stimulation than looks. Well, I hope that is true! Otherwise I'm going to have a really hard time landing me a girlfriend or wife with how butchered my face looks now!

    I appreciate ANY dating advice!

  2. Fun post! And on a TOTALLY unrelated subject, do you read Dooce?

    Her entry yesterday reminded me a little of some of LMNOB. Not completely, but made me think....

  3. PiG...

    I do read Dooce, but hadn't in awhile - when I went on over there, I was like, "yup...sounds familiar in a lot of ways."

  4. Actually, I pink puffy heart YOU, because I loooove this post! SO true!!! :D