Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Changing of the Season?

Two and a half years ago, Seth and I set out on a faith journey.

This journey involved bringing another child into our family, and me leaving my career to be a full-time SAHM.  We crunched numbers based on Seth's current take-home pay, health-care coverage expenses, cost-savings from no childcare, etc.  It was going to be tight, but doable.  Ideally, the plan was for me to continue my MPA program very part-time, to keep student loans at bay, and finish around the time Christopher would start school so that I could go back to work.  Kelsey would be old enough to spend time with them after school until I got home, would I be working FT.

But that's where things have fallen short.

Seth's annual income has decreased by about $10k from our 2008 projections due to a harsh economy.  And then I tried to die, sans insurance.  That was NOT CHEAP - although, please let it be known that I'm quite glad to be ALIVE and well!  So, yeah, there've been some wrenches thrown our way.  Each month, our finances have gotten progressively worse, despite some serious downsizing of our lifestyle, to the point of having to decide what to pay [late], what not to pay, and what to catch-up on.

We've been praying for quite some time that God would show us what to do.  I've thought about getting a night/weekend job, to avoid incurring child-care costs, but Seth has not liked that option as it would strain our marriage, and he already works a hard, manual 50+ hours/week.  I've tried to garner some free-lance work, and only just recently have landed anything substantial, and yet still not at all steadily coming in.

And then, two weeks ago, I was praying about this very issue as Seth's body is wearing from his work - he'd had high blood pressure at Thanksgiving, some neck pain and extreme fatigue that disheartened me and left me with visions of him working himself to death -  when I received an e-mail.  It was from my old boss at the city.  She was announcing her departure from the city as she had landed an opportunity of a lifetime with the United Way.

Thus, her position, for which I was the assistant for 4.5 years and have very first-hand knowledge regarding, was open.

Could it be?  An answer from God?  Or an illusory trapping laid out by the enemy in which I could become self-important and lose priority again?  Hmmmm.....dilemma.

I've had many mixed emotions about this position, and as a result have done a ton of soul-searching, investigations re: hidden costs (both material/physical and spiritual/emotional), and had many a heart to heart with my husband.  I've cried at the thoughts of the confusion my little boy might feel when Mama leaves him all day every day all of a sudden.  And I've thought that if I have to work, and it sure appears it's going to be that way, that it might as well be something that I love doing, which I did.

Ultimately, we've decided, together, that I should apply for it, with the prayer being if this is not God's will, that He put up an undeniable road block in this path.  It is an unbelievable opportunity, one that may not come about for a very long time, and is in keeping with my professional goals/abilities.

Yesterday, I submitted my application.  With glowing references and a letter of recommendation.  Now we wait, as the hiring supervisor is out of the country until after the first of the year.

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  1. Ah, what a tough spot! I've been there. I hope that you are at peace with whichever way it goes!

  2. I think this could be the answer to your prayers! Perfect fit, know the job... You'll make it work, I just know it.

    Praying for you! Merry Christmas!

  3. I've been there with that soul-searching seeking of what God wants and the right direction.

    You are in my prayers.

    (And I am thrilled to see another post from you - I've missed you ;) ).

  4. Sometimes the anticipation is as much a part of His answer as the actual answer, I think.

    Rooting for you!

  5. Thanks for sharing this - what a crazy/cool way things turned out! Will be praying for you.

    I also really love this post because it's such a refreshing reveal of reality. For the past year I've come across nothing but blogs of SAHW/M's who seem to be swimming in excess cash and time, able to putter around with expensive cameras and write all morning and night. I've felt like the only blogger who has to hold down a job I DESPISE to help my boyfriend pay the mortgage (don't worry I'm cutting my hours and hopefully quitting in a few months for other work), as well as cleaning the house by myself and working on my novels several hours a day. We're always in the red and going through savings and the economy just KILLED our net worth in the past years. Anyway, thank you for this, it's so warming to know we're not the only ones who work hard and struggle!