A Synopsis...of Sorts

Sort of in that I just don't do short stories all that well, right?

So....

This week I had an assignment for my class to:

1. Interview the finance person for a non-profit/government/healthcare organization; and
2. Get them to reveal their most pressing financial challenge for the coming year[s] to me; and
3. Write a BRIEF (one order of Heather's Kryptonite coming right up!) memo to the instructor detailing said organization and their respective challenge, as well as my 'penetrating analysis, offering sage advice."

Because either the instructor didn't get the memo that we are all students, many of whom have never had direct financial management experience outside of casa del :insert last name here:, or he uses sage advice with license looser than the tooth my daughter refuses to just. pull. out. already!

I digress...as usual.

Anyway, the caveat was that we were to pick complex situations, and organizations for whom we didn't currently work.  Hmmm....Well, he didn't say we couldn't pick an organization for which we used to work, so I shot off an e-mail to the CFO of the organization that hired me fresh out of college some 9 years ago.

Dear CFO dude who used to really intimidate my 22 year old self with both his physical stature and his intellectual command of numbers,
Hi!  Remember me?

I really hoped he didn't actually remember me, as in actually working together with me, because I was really young, green, and well, I shot my mouth off at him on my last day.  To my credit, he was being a jerk at the time and I was later praised by others for my boldness.  Perhaps he remembered me for my work with the homeless count, or other such community presence.

Blah, blah, blah - hey, I'm doing an assignment for grad school, and could you do me a favor by interviewing with me? 

His response was, yes of course he remembered me, yes, he'd love to help me out, yada yada, bada bing, we set a date and time.

The other day I set out to interview him and as we reacquainted ourselves, he pretty much told me that I'd left a good name with the agency and if I'd like to help them out with some grant-writing while their development director was out on maternity leave, they'd love to have my help.  Remember when I said that whole deal about breaking the nets?  Yeah!

Then we get down to business.

Except he paints this totally rosy picture for me about the agency's fiscal outlook.  Bottom line is that legislation being implemented re: Medicaid eligibility, not to mention the impact of our craptastic economy, has increased the number of folks eligible for their services, and since that is the bulk of their budget - business was booming.

We talk a few other details and I get kind of stuck.

I say, wrinkling my nose in quiet frustration, "Well.....the assignment was for me to identify your challenges and then," I go into air-quote mode, "offer my 'sage advice' on what to do to address those challenges.  But it seems like you guys have already had your challenging years and are now rebuilding.  Hmmm..."

He says, "Yeah....I might challenge you to talk to another non-profit and compare and contrast...."

I look at him and tap my pen on my notepad a few seconds.

Something clicks.

"So, you basically have said that due to the bad economic conditions more people are becoming Medicaid-eligible, due in part to unemployment or under-employment, and that has benefited you.  What happens when the economy rebounds, and those consumers who came to you in their unemployment find new jobs, with insurance, and say, you're not in the insurance's network so they leave?  What do you do then, I mean it seems like you might be in a 'bubble' like the housing market was in, right?"

He looks at me and smiles, in concession.  "You," he says pointing at me, "You always were a pain in my side with your questions, weren't you?"  And it seems like some of the memories of my days with him are returning.  He clarifies, "I mean that in a good way, ya know?  It means you're smart, and that's good - really good.  But for someone like me, it is SO ANNOYING!"  He laughs and nods his head.  "That right there, that's our biggest challenge over the next five years.  Bing-O."  It was such a fraternal way of paying a high compliment - and with the earlier job offer, I was practically floating on the clouds!

I smile and tell him, "See, I can make this assignment work after all - just had to dig a bit!"

We talked some more and wrapped up.  Then he took me to meet the development staff person who wasn't on maternity leave - whom I actually worked with, albeit only via e-mail, while I was at the city.  Then he told on her that she had once confided in her co-worker that CFO Dude really intimidated her too and that she didn't like to work with him!  We laughed and talked some more and I really began to see CFO dude in a new light, one that made him look less like a bogeyman who could chew me up and spit me out.

Then, he asked Development #2 if she could take me to the clubhouse (a vocational rehab site for the consumers) and give me a tour, which she did.  It was amazing and I was truly proud to have had some affiliation with such a meaningful organization.

And, cut!  This is so long, and yet it has virtually none of the she-said-and-then-I-said details that my hubby and friends got to hear - thus, I stand by my title.
© 2006-present Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Hello, Right Hand? Meet Left Hand, and Please Take Heed of What the other is Doing

I've been dreading this week....

Particularly because my inner Grover insists there's a monster at the end of it.  Particularly on Saturday.

It's a scheduling cluster#@$%, erm, nightmare.

Kelsey's Girl Scouts troupe has been working very hard on their display on Korea that will be part of the annual International Festival.  Kelsey digs learning about new cultures and ethnicities.  A lot.  Earlier in the month I was planning out my calendar, and at some point I had a jotted a note reading:

So I got about it and lo!  The Girl Scout Council of our town had scheduled the International Festival on January 29th.

But wait, Kelsey had another commitment on the 29th.  As in, my little Special K (my newest nickname for her!) had earned herself a place in the district spelling bee after kicking some booty in the school bee.

Now, some of you know that in my former career, I was something of an executive scheduler, and as such, am a little O-to-the-C-to-the-D when it comes to those pesky little things called details...so, when organizations that work with school-age children schedule major events fail to consult the academic calendars, respective to the population they serve, it grates on my nerves much like the waitstaff at the Olive Garden manage to do with the parmigiano.  Because clearly nothing says, "We're training your girls up to be short-sighted leaders - but it will be meaningful and fun along the way!" than a myopic planning maneuver such as this.  Oh, the other pet peeve is that our town's IF is not listed on the Events Planner portion of the GS COLORADO website, but the neighboring town's is listed as if it is the only one for our region, in February....seriously, these people need some admin skillz!

So there was my visceral reaction - but then Kelsey's was somewhat heartbreaking.  She quickly melted down into her woebegone state that is fairly common anytime anything deviates AT.ALL  from how she expected things to be (I feel for my future son-in-law, how I feel for him and pray for a gentle, long-suffering soul to step into that future role!).  Then she said, "Well, then I just won't do the spelling bee - I'll do the International Festival instead!"

At this point, the tiger mom in me - who normally pushes the snooze button and stays in hibernation as long as possible - came out and said, "No ma'am.  You most certainly are not going to forsake an academic activity for some fluffy little foreign fair.  You're going to spell like a champ, like it or not.  This is not the first time you'll have to make a decision in a conflict, so put on your big girl panties and suck it up, buttercup."  Because I have principles, and academics are important in them.  So are actual leadership/service learning opportunities - if they were going to help out at Habitat for Humanity that Saturday, I'd have probably let her skip the spelling bee.  But to forsake it just to go hang out with a group of girls, many of them the mean girl types at that, gabbing about Bieber and Taylor Swift and what clothes are in while they go and participate in a Cliff Notes version of world travel?  Nah.....

So....after that it stood that our weekend schedule would look like this:
Saturday:
Leave the house at 7:00 am in order to get from our northern-most district home to the southern-most district school by 7:30
7:30 - check-in at the spelling bee
8:00 - 9:30 Wait as Kelsey completes the written spelling bee exam - if she makes the cut, then we go on to oral round at 10:00
10:00-noon - Oral Round .... OR if she gets cut, make a mad dash to the other side of town and get her to the IF

Meanwhile, I will have both of the boys because Seth was informed at the beginning of the month that this was his Saturday to work.

And I'm on deadline for some grantwriting.

And holy cow am I realizing just how diligent I have to be with the time management trying to get this all done....

Also?  You extracurricular people who can't plan to save your life are putting a big rain cloud on my parade!


© 2006-present Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Metaphorical Fish

Last week I was something of a mess.  To say the least.  


But you know me....I don't do the whole minimalist thing, right?  


Sooooooooooooo.....about last week...


Our family was recovering from what is now being referred to as the 2010 Year-End Pukefest, a quaint little GI bug that tore through EVERY family member with a vengeance for almost a whole week.  The laundry was epic, taunting me to the point of overwhelmed tears.  My wee baby boy, Mr. >5th %ile for Weight, didn't eat, save for breastmilk, for a whole week, turning his already scrawny form into downright gaunt...and that is not just a hypersensitive mama growing paranoid, this is a noticeable weight loss that caused comments from others.  Yeah, that helped too.


The older kids went back to school, and though the officially dreaded re-entry day was smooth, the subsequent ones were not.  As in I completely lost my cool with Kelsey, in one of her horribly defiant I-will-NOT-go-to-my-room-even-if-it-is-more-for-you-to-cool-down-than-it-is-for-me-to-be-in-trouble moments, and while it didn't escalate physically, it prompted Colton to retrieve the phone and inform me he was dialing 911 because he was so scared.  Well.  If that's not enough to deflate the hot air running the anger balloon and cause it to create a heaping pile of GUILT I don't know what will do it for ya....


And then, as we had been healthy for mere days and just in time for the weekend :read: Urgent Care, Christopher began to cough.  And run intermittent fevers.  During which time he became attached to my hip, or breasts as the still-nursing case may be, and any separation to said appendages was cause for marathon meltdowns.  And the non-eating resumed.  A myriad of PTSD-like emotions, due to the coughing and intermittent fevers triggering memories of my own hellish journey, legitimate maternal worry, and battle fatigue set in.


The low-grade, ambient stress regarding my potential return to work gnawed at me as a big cloud of UNKNOWN loomed over me.  I can deal with a lot of things, but UNKNOWN is akin to Alice's Jabberwocky: a formidable foe that initially scares the muchness out of me.  Eventually, I can get to a point where I can slay the UNKNOWN as Alice totally made the Jabberwocky her b!t*#, but as of last week, I was still in the "Oh, hells no!" phase regarding defeating the UNKNOWN.  As such, it was kicking my booty.  Not to mention the fact that after I'd submitted my application, I got a response from a local non-profit re: a grant consulting proposal I'd sent them.  Their response was yes, they would like me to contract with them on an on-going basis.  So then I was torn between was that the right thing and I was abandoning that, testing God, in favor of the higher-paying, more family-time sacrificing job at the city?  Mother guilt X the UNKNOWN = WRECK


It was no surprise then, that I cried at the drop of a hat over E.V.E.R.Y thing.  Movies.  TV shows [that I'd already seen!].  Songs.  Intonation in my child's voice surely meant that I was a failure at everything.  And was so irritable with Seth that super stoopid things became grounds for verbal grudge matches.  


Not pretty, right?


Monday, I took Chris to the doctor.  Diagnosis: double ear infection and croup - not killer pneumonia as my paranoia had tried to persuade me.  Easily fixed with some time and medication.


Then, I called the HR department at the city, and anonymously inquired as to where they were in the hiring process for The Position.


"Oh, well, they've already interviewed and I think they've got a person in mind now.  Thanks for your interest."


My first instinct was self-defeating, that maybe-I-did-something-so-wrong-that-it-negated-all-the-previously-glowing-commentary-from-my-former-boss thing - serious self-doubt, ya know?  I mean, they didn't even call me for an interview!  That lasted for maybe 5 seconds though.


And then...


You asked Me for a roadblock if it wasn't where I wanted you right now.  You told me MY will and not yours, remember?


Ok, God.  I get that.  And yes, things DO happen for a reason, and so I will trust that.  In the meantime, could You shed some light on this for me?  Clarify just where we're going with this whole exercise?  I mean, uh, the money has to come from somewhere right?  And it's, uh, not there.  So, while we're on this whole 'you said' schtick, might I remind You that You said  You had 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,' so, don't forget that, mmm-kay?  Thanks.


Sidenote - I know that kind of prayer seems irreverent to some, and for you I will apologize.  My intent is not to offend - I just think that God wants my heart, my real heart and not some Pope-ish, rote acceptance of the things that don't quite seem fair or clear.  So we are real with each other like that.


Yesterday was good.

Today I went to a non-profit networking meeting and it felt good.  A peace that things would fall into place covered me.  A few people inquired about my consulting services and asked me to follow up with them.

Tonight I got a voice mail, informing me of a key opportunity with which to substantially expand my [from-home] grant-writing business.  All through church I kept feeling goosebumps.  That phone call that quieted that small, albeit powerful, voice of self-doubt I heard the other day.  When I followed up on it and spoke to the person who'd called me, I was buzzing with gratitude my Heavenly Father for the very real potential that lay before me.

In early December, I was about to give up on the consulting endeavor, as I hadn't managed to get many bites.

I'm reminded of a story in Luke Ch. 5:

One day as Jesus was preaching on the shore of the Sea of Galilee,^[a]great crowds pressed in on him to listen to the word of God. ² He noticed two empty boats at the water’s edge, for the fishermen had left them and were washing their nets. ³ Stepping into one of the boats, Jesus asked Simon,^[b]its owner, to push it out into the water. So he sat in the boat and taught the crowds from there. 

 ⁴ When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Now, go out where it is deeper, and let down your nets to catch some fish.”

 ⁵ “Master,” Simon replied, “we worked hard all last night and didn’t catch a thing. But, if you say so, I’ll let the nets down again.”

⁶ And this time their nets were so full of fish they began to tear! ⁷ A shout for help brought their partners in the other boat, and soon both boats were filled with fish and on the verge of sinking.

 ⁸ When Simon Peter realized what had happened, he fell to his knees before Jesus and said, “Oh, Lord, please leave me—I’m too much of a sinner to be around you.” ⁹ For he was awestruck by the number of fish they had caught, as were the others with him. ¹⁰His partners, James and John, the sons of Zebedee, were also amazed.

Jesus replied to Simon, “Don’t be afraid! From now on you’ll be fishing for people!” ¹¹ And as soon as they landed, they left everything and followed Jesus.

This year is going to be a deep-water year, I have a feeling.

© 2006-present Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Changing of the Season?

Two and a half years ago, Seth and I set out on a faith journey.

This journey involved bringing another child into our family, and me leaving my career to be a full-time SAHM.  We crunched numbers based on Seth's current take-home pay, health-care coverage expenses, cost-savings from no childcare, etc.  It was going to be tight, but doable.  Ideally, the plan was for me to continue my MPA program very part-time, to keep student loans at bay, and finish around the time Christopher would start school so that I could go back to work.  Kelsey would be old enough to spend time with them after school until I got home, would I be working FT.

But that's where things have fallen short.

Seth's annual income has decreased by about $10k from our 2008 projections due to a harsh economy.  And then I tried to die, sans insurance.  That was NOT CHEAP - although, please let it be known that I'm quite glad to be ALIVE and well!  So, yeah, there've been some wrenches thrown our way.  Each month, our finances have gotten progressively worse, despite some serious downsizing of our lifestyle, to the point of having to decide what to pay [late], what not to pay, and what to catch-up on.

We've been praying for quite some time that God would show us what to do.  I've thought about getting a night/weekend job, to avoid incurring child-care costs, but Seth has not liked that option as it would strain our marriage, and he already works a hard, manual 50+ hours/week.  I've tried to garner some free-lance work, and only just recently have landed anything substantial, and yet still not at all steadily coming in.

And then, two weeks ago, I was praying about this very issue as Seth's body is wearing from his work - he'd had high blood pressure at Thanksgiving, some neck pain and extreme fatigue that disheartened me and left me with visions of him working himself to death -  when I received an e-mail.  It was from my old boss at the city.  She was announcing her departure from the city as she had landed an opportunity of a lifetime with the United Way.

Thus, her position, for which I was the assistant for 4.5 years and have very first-hand knowledge regarding, was open.

Could it be?  An answer from God?  Or an illusory trapping laid out by the enemy in which I could become self-important and lose priority again?  Hmmmm.....dilemma.

I've had many mixed emotions about this position, and as a result have done a ton of soul-searching, investigations re: hidden costs (both material/physical and spiritual/emotional), and had many a heart to heart with my husband.  I've cried at the thoughts of the confusion my little boy might feel when Mama leaves him all day every day all of a sudden.  And I've thought that if I have to work, and it sure appears it's going to be that way, that it might as well be something that I love doing, which I did.

Ultimately, we've decided, together, that I should apply for it, with the prayer being if this is not God's will, that He put up an undeniable road block in this path.  It is an unbelievable opportunity, one that may not come about for a very long time, and is in keeping with my professional goals/abilities.

Yesterday, I submitted my application.  With glowing references and a letter of recommendation.  Now we wait, as the hiring supervisor is out of the country until after the first of the year.


© 2006-present Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

The One Where I Relate to AC/DC

You know...as in, one of two heavy metal bands proclaimed by the t-shirts of the two poorly animated, infamous-for-their-utter-lack-of-conventional-values characters of the 90's known as Beavis and Butt-head.

Yeah....the 80's have their fashion crimes of which to be ashamed.  The 90's?  We had Beavis and Butt-head and the dumbing down of humor to fart jokes for an entire generation.  *sigh*

Anyway....so, I do this thing where I associate moods, happenings, etc. with music, quotes, TV and all other things pop culture, right?

Today it was AC/DC's Back in Black playing in my little mental concert for one.  Because I am one Klassy Babe when it comes to my musical repertoire - thanks to one former step-father who never could break free of the hold of 80's metal bands, and Blondie as well come to think on it, had on him and that he saw to it that we, too, were appropriately indoctrinated uh, educated re: their cultural significance; usually such education occurred while he was drunk.  Fun times.


Why, you ask, did you have Back in Black playing in your head today, Heather?

Because quite simply,

...
I've been too long I'm glad to be back
Yes I'm, let loose
From the noose
That's kept me hanging about
... 

I'm coming back.  In ways that have been dormant for a good long time, I'm seeing glimpses of who I am and who God's teaching me to be along the way.

Kelsey and Colton started back to school Wednesday, and Heaven smiled down on me.  Writing that makes me feel like a bad mother, a bit.  Because I chose to be a SAHM in order to be more present with my kids and yet come July each year, I can't wait to be away from them for 40 hours a week.  Ok, so maybe that last part is hyperbole, but not by a huge amount.  To be fair, the kids were equally happy to leave me behind every day :)  I have been able to be productive and get my house in respectable shape again, there is a return of that blissfully quiet period, 2x/day!, known as NAPTIME, and routine, how I love thee.  School is good.

Colton was totally stoked that the new gym teacher (whom I foresee to be the object of many young girls' affections due to his youth and looks) was wearing the same Marvel comics t-shirt as he was.  2nd and 4th grades this year.

New School Shoes

While not going to school, little Chris was part of the obligatory 1st day photos.

Bus!!

I re-start my MPA studies, from which I took hiatus in 2008 and 2009.  I will only be taking one class this semester, but I'm excited.  I do keep cracking jokes about the class, as it is Leadership and Professional Ethics - joke being that there's a difference between personal ethics and professional ones?  Syllabus looks good and challenging, but not overly so.  Feels do-able.

As of today, we are caught up on our mortgage and all of our household bills - which is a place we haven't been since last November.  Medical stuff is still hanging out, but we've cut some serious fat out of our budget, finally saying goodbye to Directv, and hello to Hulu, Netflix, and a digital antenna, slashing our grocery bill with sites like CouponMom.com and GroceryGame.com, riding our bikes more than driving the vehicles, etc.  And, now that things are calmer at home, I'm really doing the free-lancing thing!  I got my first client this week - a local NPO seeking funding and yet lacking a grant writer.  Then, tonight I received an e-mail from a legitimate business in Denver asking me for my resume and references as they had a client in need of a funding researcher/grant writer. So, between the cutting of expenses and addition of some income, those medical debts are going bye-bye - no doubt about it.

A newer friend from church remarked how I was going to be superwoman this fall with 3 kids, going back to school, running high mileage, and starting a business.  Certainly, I'm not super woman, but for those of you who've known me since this blog's inception (or before) y'all know I like the busy, like the real busy and not the busy work.  I once worked FT, was in grad school, regularly volunteered in both the older kids' classrooms, took Kelsey to weekly OT appointments, cooked from scratch, etc. and did it fairly well.  Some situational things popped up occasionally, namely marital during that time period, that got me down.  And then I needed a break, so I slowed down and tried to follow God a little more closely.

The past 2 years have been huge in the growth department.  The latter part of 2008 being a preparatory season, 2009 being a sort of demolition/rebuilding year, and thus far 2010 has been further rebuilding with an unveiling starting to take shape.

I feel as if, structurally speaking, I have the same foundation, as in, I'm still the same stubborn, feisty, big-word loving kind of gal I've always been.  True, some parts of me have gotten those sort of whimsical face lifting reminiscent of HGTV's lower budget programs, such as the coupon clipping, cloth diapering, home-growing features that are new but not foreign to me.  But other parts of me have been completely gutted, refashioned, and repurposed...My kids are bearing the brunt of my stubbornness being channeled into my parenting.

So, Angus sings it for me in my mind...."I'm back.  In black".  Though usually not all black clothing, I can generally be found wearing black flip-flops on any given day.  
© 2006-present Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Slamming Doors Shut and Prying Open Windows

Yesterday   well, given that it is now almost two days later, MONDAY, I officially gave myself permission to say "This isn't working," regarding my stint as a lia sophia advisor.

I just didn't have the knack for getting the right people to host, much less attend parties for me.  And while I TOTALLY LOVE their jewelry, and stand behind their quality, the biggest part that didn't work for me was trying to sell people on the idea that they Needed. More. Stuff.  I mean, the whole Material Girl scene has never been mine, but this sale was especially hard to make when I myself have been in no position to buy jewelry, let alone store-bought laundry soap, new clothes that aren't second-hand, etc., and I KNOW that I'm not the only one given our knock-down economic state of affairs right now.

I've been praying for a long time about this, and I thought that a recent inquiry from out of the blue was a sign to not give up - but when my hostess went incognito on me and all other newly rekindled attempts to drum up leads were snuffed out, I kindly got out of the way before God let the door hit me in the heinie.

I'd pretty much made my mind up about this on Friday, but this weekend sealed the deal.

In a really ironic way, a simple phone call with my mom opened up a whole new world of opportunity for me. I was telling her about being on the verge of kissing lia sophia goodbye and she suddenly POOF! transformed into a veritable career advice fairy godmother!

Turns out, she's been moonlighting as a Court Appointed Parenting Coordinator and as she told me all about it, it is totally up my alley.  It's basically a free-lance case manager type of deal; parents have to pay a retainer to her and then she bills the hourly rate set by the judge from it as she works for the family (I for one love that paid in advance deal, don't you??)


Not only could I see myself doing this and being successful with it, but I WANT to do this and be successful with it.  And not just for my fiscal benefit.  You see, if I do a good job in that kind of venue, EVERYONE wins - me (cha-ching money never hurt anyone), the child[ren] in question, the family, etc.  And I do love me some good win-win set-ups.

So, to get started?  I am re-writing my resume and writing cover letters to query local attorneys about their need for PC's as well as for referrals. And, because I am all about diversifying the eggs and not putting them all in one conservative portfolio, I'm also using the same tactic with local therapists and counselors re: case management for their clientele.  I did it for the non-profit sector, but never thought to think outside that box and extend my services to self-payers in the private practice system.

Also in the back of my mind has been the dream of writing for keeps.  You know, to be a for-reals kind of writer, the kind I just knew I would be when I was whipping up some fantabulous 6th grade literature (some pieces of which my teacher confirmed via facebook is still in her possession because she used them for every succeeding class post-1991 as examples...now if only she would send them to me as she promised!) the kind that lands magazine deals and culminates with BOOKS.  Yeah, that.

So long ago I shelved that dream on the premises that I didn't get an English degree - nor did I really take all that many writing classes period since I placed out of them during college entry - that I hadn't done any writing extracurriculars (e.g. college newspaper), and that I simply didn't know how to get started.

And now?  Now I am saying to that logic, "SO WHAT?!?!"

I'm going to go for it!

Going for it, reaching for my dreams and all that other clichéd verbiage looks something like a wild maelstrom of the creative process known as brainstorming.

And know what?

It feels really good.

For a long time now I've lamented the feeling of having lost some of myself in this SAHM chapter.  Not losing my SELF as in "Me Time," or "Grown Up Stuff" or ambition or whatever guise that selfishness might wear - not that.  But that sparkle, that feeling of knowing that I'm competent at what I'm doing and what I'm talking about, because this parenting gig?  Isn't exactly the most affirming thing when you feel like you're just cracking out the how-to books 5 minutes after the exam began.

Right now, I'm visioning and trying to figure out branding myself.

I'd like to offer myself up as a free-lance writer, editor (seriously, I was so peeved that the Francine Rivers trilogy I've been reading goofed on a character's name - it was Octavia in book 1 and most of book 2 when she suddenly morphed into Olympia - because, DETAILS, people!  And, despite the conversational, informal grammatical style of my writing on this blog, wherein run-on sentences and those beginning with 'and,' 'because,' 'but,' and other improper introductions abound, I really am a syntax and spelling SNOB who, however wrongly so, tends to deduct IQ points when I see bad grammar, misspellings/typos and other butcherings of the English language), and case-manager - sort of an odd mix, but all have the purpose of bettering one's communications and relationships in the world, be they corporate, personal, or something in between.

I've thought about business names and I really am enthralled with the idea of playing off of the 3 R's of education theme that many are aware of.  Something like 3r Solutions, Media, etc., with a tagline/explanation that the 3r's I focus on are Reading (editing), wRiting, and Relationships (case management/communications focus).  I don't know if it is as catchy as I think though, as so many people are becoming less familiar with the original meanings of the 3R's.  So we'll see.

I'm meeting with a local information architect Friday to further discuss and brainstorm.

In the meantime, I'm drafting cover letters and have secured some prominent people's support in being references for me.

I had the passing thought when all of this started to form in my mind, "How come I never considered this all before?"  I mean think of the heartbreak we could have been spared regarding the finances!

But God answered in my heart almost instantaneously.  Not audibly [I wish!  wouldn't life be so much easier then?] but with that inexplicable sense of utter revelation. You needed to grow as a mother and re-set your priorities.  You're now at a place where the mundane tasks of SAHM-hood are just life and not giant and tedious obstacles.  Now the desires of your heart are prioritized and you will ask for them to be given unto you in the manner that I will, not how you will.  Besides, had you had a caseload and deadlines when you were so ill, what would have come of you then?  You've come so far, my daughter. 

Now it is time for a lot of hard work and fervent prayer!

© 2006-present Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Help a Girl Out, Will Ya?

I need your help! (This is a repeat of my facebook note if you're on there, I apologize for the redundancy)

As you all know, I recently signed on to become a lia sophia advisor.

One of the first goals to meet as an advisor is your Excellent Beginnings goal: hold 3 parties and sell $1,500 of jewelry within your first 5 weeks as an advisor. If I meet this goal, then not only do I get my share of the profits off of all sales, but lia sophia will award me $200 in jewelry to add to my display stock for parties.

My starter party got me 1 party and over $600 toward meeting this goal. It seemed like I was off to a good start when one of my colleagues offered to host a party, then another, and then my mom! This would be easier than I thought.

Except the first party got cancelled, the next party is fizzling out as a catalog party, and my mom's catalog party is not faring so well either.

Now I'm on deadline to meet my goal (Dec. 12th) and the only way for me to meet the goal is to get plenty of outside orders.

That's where you come in!

I know you gals love to look good - But, I also know that bargain shopping is your modus operandi!

And the December Special is a steal: Buy 2 items at regular price and get up to 4 items at half-price! But, that's not all - your most expensive items get the discount! Also, if you refer a friend to me and they mention it when placing an order, I will grant you $10 off your order!

Please stop by my website, browse the catalog by clicking the "Our Jewelry" and either use the "Contact Me" tab or e-mail me at hthrmyr@yahoo.com to make your purchase!

Thank you so much for your support of my new business with lia sophia - you'll fall in love with the jewelry, I just know it!

xoxo




© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

There's a Monster at the End of This Blog Post

Sort of....

You see, this is my 666th blog post (oooh, spooky, evil number, I know!) so I thought it would be kind of cute to mimic my favorite children's book since there really is nothing to be scared of, right?

Right?

Oh, wait, there is something to be scared of......

This weekend was sensory overload......

For.....

.......

.........


ME!


My in-laws were up for a four-day weekend, and I love them. Love them!

In small quantities. I've come to learn that 3 days is my max, but since we were together for 4......

Well, I am not a nice person and at best look like the worst pregnant mama ever.

Or maybe I am being too harsh on myself - whaddyou think.....

First... Thursday evening - ok, I had to work late for a monthly meeting. My house was mostly clean.

(I left the floors because my in-laws have 2 dogs that they bring with them and I knew if I cleaned the floors on Wednesday, they would just need done again for my Friday night jewelry party)

Charlie Brown and his dad were gone, as MIL bought them Av's tickets for their upcoming [November] birthdays.

Friday - I had to work, Charlie Brown took the day off since the kids were off and his folks were here, assuring me that he and his parents would help clean up for the lia sophia party I was hosting that night.

Got home early and they hadn't been home all day. Not only did I have some things of ours to clean up in preparation, but the inlaws' stuff was all over and needed put up. Floors needed cleaned. I would have been hot not-pregnant, but being pregnant, I was pissed.

I started making the refreshments and doing what I could when everybody came in. They all pitched in [GREAT] but it still completely frazzled me as we were in a last-minute cleaning spree [NOT SO GREAT]. I'd wanted to RELAX y'all!

Everything was done* on time and the party was great fun, thanks to 1.) gorgeous, affordable jewelry, 2.) some homemade spinach artichoke dip with bread and various veggies, 3.) lemon dip with strawberries, and 4.) Nana’s sugar cookies**.

* and by done I really mean, a clusterf*&k of crap got shoved into my bedroom with the doors shut

** I'm telling you, I DO love my MIL - I just feel so inferior around her because she’s never taken antidepressants, and she’s so domestic and crafty, and because she “just” did abc when her kids xyz’d. We look somewhat alike and I tell Charlie Brown all the time that if he’d wanted to marry his mother he must be sorely disappointed. :sigh:

Saturday….
This was the Big Get Together of the weekend.

Our niece 3M turned 10 on Friday and we had all planned to get together on Saturday because my SIL’s family was staying at their house in Aurora.

We’d decided to meet in the middle and check out the family-friendly adventures that Miller Farms had to offer us. We planned a picnic lunch and had been told that BIL was treating us to dinner at their home afterwards. Since we wouldn’t be back until evening, we left my inlaws’ airbed out in the living room. Remember this…

We had a GREAT time at Miller Farms. We all got to go out into the fields and each got to pick a bag of the following:

-Indian Corn – more for decorative purposes than for edible ones

-Onions – while many of them had to be picked through since they’d been exposed to freezes, a number of them were still in great shape – and these suckers were HUGE too!

-Carrots – again, you had to dig for ones that were still deep in the ground and not rotten, but we got a TON

-Potatoes – they had a tiller go through and dig them up for each group and then everyone bagged their loot

-Beets – not my favorite, but I plan on using them as stamps for the kids one afternoon, more than for food! I do like pickled beets but one can only eat so many.

And we each got to pick a pumpkin out of their pumpkin patch. We were LOADED in fresh produce.

My littlest niece, Double A, is 2 and she got antsy in the middle of the crop pickin' - which was more stressful for my BIL and his wife than it was for any of us. Otherwise it was a grand time. We also did a corn maze, rode pedal tracters, and Charlie Brown bought me a 20 minute massage at a merchant booth - which was heaven and ended up being 30 minutes actually. :contented sigh:

At the end of our Miller Farms adventure - it was announced that we were all going back to MY house, not BIL's house. And all the crap was still out! Minor heart palpitations at that thought, but eh, life goes on.

Get home, order pizzas to take and bake. I end up waiting on everyone, hand and foot, which my MIL said I "didn't have to do," but since no one else was taking the damned initiative who was REALLY going to do it?

The worst part was when 3M made it known that she had been supposed to have gone to her bff's house in Aurora after we'd been finished with our family party. This was now Not Going to Happen. And she displayed her [rightfully so, imho] tween angst about it. I sympathized with her internally, noting that we weren't all supposed to be here if I'd had anything to do with it too.

By the time they left and we got the kids bathed for church in the morning - it was an incredibly long day with out an ounce of rest for the pregnant, weary, pitiful woman that gazed back at me from the mirror that night.

Sunday....
Church - getting ready went off without a hitch, although the morning did arrive too damned early.

Church itself was interesting as the octogenarian who led the song service picked only obscure and ancient hymns that no one knew, which resulted in his bellowing vibrato solos. I am one who preaches that we don't attend church to be entertained and serve ourselves; rather that we go to church to worship and serve God. However, this particular morning my own admonitions were difficult to swallow.

I'd told my in-laws that I had a baby shower to prepare punch for and attend that afternoon. I'd planned on making the punch at home after church and then leave for the shower. Which was no big deal.

Except....we HAD to go to the BlackEyed Pea for lunch. At least where we live, the BlackEyed Pea is frequented largely by seniors after church on Sundays. Which means the table turnover is V.E.R.Y. S.L.O.W. at best. We left the restaurant at 1:36. The shower started at 2:00.

It became very painfully apparent to me that we would be LATE. And then when I discovered that I had filled a 2.5 gallon jug like it was a 2 gallon jug (i.e. with too much water), I went completely apeshit, freaking out that Charlie Brown hadn't told me it was a 2.5 gallon jug and that we were going to be late, and ohshitohshitohshit! In front of my inlaws mind you. I'm crying and screaming and cannot escape the frustrations that keep pummeling me.

I left, was 1/2 an hour late -felt terrible - but everyone assured me it was fine and the punch was a hit.

The rest of Sunday was ok, except for bedtime. Which was expected.

Today....
LMNOB had one of THOSE mornings. I'm frustrated. There is yelling and gnashing of teeth.

MIL comes up and tells LMNOB, "You know, 3M gets herself up and dressed and makes her own breakfast and fixes her hair and then walks to school all by herself..."

Which struck me about like it did LMNOB: Well, whoopdie freaking do for HER.

Instead, I gritted my teeth and we got through it. Backpack was missing and then so was jacket. And the bus was missed and then I found said backpack and jacket, and took them to school in the car - while bidding my inlaws adieu.

Work was ok....until about 4:18 when my phone rang and it was a neighbor saying the kids were with her; their babysitter hadn't showed up.

Call babysitter - no answer.

Call babysitter's mom and start to leave a frantic message when babysitter's mom picks up. Oh, no she said - babysitter had asked her mom to pick the kids up today as she had a conflict arise and their clock had defaulted to the old end of daylight savings time setting and it read 3:20 instead of 4:20. She was so sorry.

Yeah, me too. I'd already done the mom-obligated "what ifs," and that was NOT pretty.

So I'm emotional and the Boss had overheard. I share with her the story and she empathizes. She offers to help push the jobshare earlier and I'm honored by that but feel badly that I'm burdening her with that. I say it is no wonder to me that affordable quality child care is a number one priority for a local poverty initiative; I've had a hell of a year with childcare and I CAN pay for good care. She says no kidding and asks if I've got the baby on a waitlist yet.

:GULP:

I'm not going to lie - but I hadn't quite wanted to discuss this yet.

And it just blurted out, "Well, no, I actually don't think I'm coming back after the baby is born."

OH CRAP!

She took it ok, but yikes! I had not wanted to let that cat out of the bag yet - I'm hormonal and freaked because my babies had been standing at the bus stop for who knows how long and who knows who could have been around, and....

Yeah, it probably couldn't NOT have come out with that mindset. But still....

So I've been bawling all night and am the red-eyed monster at the end of this post.

Charlie Brown is singing to me as I type, "There's a light and the end of this tunnel..." as sung by Third Day.

I sure hope so. God, please carry me through this.



© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

What Really Matters...

Yesterday, I was in attendance at a press conference, as a member of the UniverCity Connections; Homelessness Initiative Task Group. (Two questions: 1 - why do these things always have to be such a long name, and 2 - why are people so freakin' ignorant in newspaper commentaries? Not one of the anti-homeless plan commenters have a clue about how much money and the RESULTING COST SAVINGS this plan is going to incur - I could go on for DAYS, MONTHS even educating y'all on this but I'll spare you)

A rather prominent wheeler and dealer in the group pulled me aside and asked me if I ever did consulting work.

I reminded him that I was a consultant to the County for the Homeless Count - and that I did indeed plan on working in the consulting/freelancing capacity in the future. "Why?" I asked him.

"Well," as he swooped his hands in a demonstrative gesture, "This is wrapping up and we'll be beginning phase 2 soon. It's going to be a lot of meetings, a lot of coordination, and who better to tackle such a task with finesse?"

I wanted to die inside, a little. It was JUST the opportunity that I've dreamed of.

And I had to say no.

On top of the fact that I'm wanting to downsize things, and this would just add to the workload, the timing is ALL wrong. This is not going to happen overnight, folks, and I don't think that policy implementation phases take maternity leaves.

I was reminded of something my dear Christian sister had recently said to me in response to my confession that my heart had changed about staying home and planning for this baby (emphasis mine):

I think that's great and I think God will honor any steps of faith you and Charlie Brown take in that direction. He asks for a lot, sometimes, though (consider the rich young ruler...). He wants our all. I think you guys are up to that task, but be prepared to do some 'dying', and to be refined even more by fire. God disciplines those he loves! So brace yourselves and be united and strong in the Lord.

I'm always so fuzzy on the line between what is discipline from God - i.e. requires me dying to myself - and what is temptation from the Evil One - distracting me and tempting me to stoke the idols in my heart - but nevertheless, I can say that I do not regret saying no, and I do not regret taking this leap of faith. This is a beautiful place to be!

I know too well the inner workings of some of the parties at play in this thing, and while everyone is after ends that are noble and humane, the means of some of the players do not sit well with me. Not to mention the inevitable outcry by the more ignorant folks in our public (evidenced in the newspaper commentary) - and the bottom line is this: I don't have to get into all of that yuck by having said no. I can pray for them to have guidance in their next steps and leave it at the Cross.

My God wants my all, and He's directing my energies into my family for this next season in my life. I need to honor that, not fight it, and I know that He will bless those attempts with more than I can comprehend.



© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Me, a Big Blubbery Blabbermouth

Ok, so last night I was blathering on and on all night long about this e-mail that The Boss had sent me about how I now needed to clear out of office time ahead of schedule with her. This is new….and coming right after I was sick last week and having no more sick leave, had offered to do some work from home. I understand that working from home is not our norm; but given the circumstances it was the best I could do!

I read: I don’t trust you and I need more control. Also: My life is stressful right now so you are going to pay….

It made me feel badly. I felt like I’d let her down and that because I wasn’t perfect she was greatly disappointed.

So I did what any people pleasing woman who also happens to be newly pregnant does: CRIED my heart out.

Charlie Brown, upon reading it, said, “Uhm, I don’t get it….it seems innocent enough.”

This morning, we had our first staff meeting in about a month (they used to be weekly occurrences).

After we got our “business” done, she asked me, “Well, how are you feeling about things in the office right now?”

“Uhhhh, well, honestly, since the United Way job and all of that I have been really struggling with finding the right balance between home and work, but I’m feeling better about it. Last week was just hard because I was sick and out of leave time and had just drained my vacation time – so I was trying to do the best I could.”

“Yeah…I was thinking this morning, what would you think about splitting your job and sharing it with someone?”

While I sat there, slack-jawed and mentally sending notes to God, to whom I’d prayed this morning about this very balance, she elaborated, telling me that she knew I had a lot of different circumstances than her, with LMNOB’s sensory therapies, the kids being younger and having daycare woes of late, me being in school, etc., and that my commitment level had been lower of late, but that she very much values the work that I do and wanted to keep it at a quality level.

She proposed that perhaps the person sharing with me could attend all of the evening meetings and grant presentations while I maintained the logistics and planning role for daytime hours at the office. She also told me that she had to do all the calc’s, i.e. workers comp would be higher b/c it is two people rather than one, etc., in her budget before taking it to her boss, but that she thought it could work. After all, the history of this office has been a job-sharing history – she recounted how when she first started here 15 yrs ago she job-shared her current position with another woman in what was then a one-position office. 10 years ago my position was added, at PT, where my successor worked 2 PT positions for the City. Then there was me.

Incredulous, I told her, “You know – when I had my first ‘I can’t do this moment’ in June, before the UW position came open, I briefly thought about splitting my job, but I wasn’t sure if you’d be open to it. So many details to work out and well, you’re not a big fan of change, and I just shut that door without even testing to see if it would open. I really appreciate you asking me this.”

She went on, and I felt an urging.

“And….this is really good timing. I’m pregnant.”

She was overcome with curiosity:

How did I feel about that? – Given that we planned it, I am giddy!

When’s the due date? - April 27th

Had I stopped my meds? Been taking my vitamins? - Yes, both before I even ovulated so I am good ;-) Also; Thanks, “Mom!”

She was thrilled – and in wonder said, “There’s a reason why this all came to me this morning, then.”

I teared up, knowing the conversation I’d had with God just a few hours before, smiled and said, “Absolutely.”

I am just glad that I responded appropriately to her e-mail yesterday and not with the hormonal tit-for-tat and paranoid conclusions I’d jumped to last night.

We have a lot to ponder, too. Health care costs would hike for me if I went to PT since our family is covered on my policy. But, maybe Medishare is right for us now, for them, and I can stay with the City’s coverage until after the baby?

We’ll figure it out, with God’s help – in the meantime, your prayers would be greatly appreciated!




© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Telling the Boss...HELP!!!

Hoo boy, has this one been on my mind.

I've been pregnant and working before, and it was a lot different. I had my own office and my boss then was very hands-off. It was easy to keep my pregnancy under wraps until about 10 wks.

Now, The Boss and I share an office, we are very intwined in our work - meaning, it usually requires both of us - and we share personal stories all the time. She's kind of like a big sister to me, in all the ways. Which means, if you read between the lines, that she can be a slightly neurotic PITA even though I love her dearly. Particularly when she thinks I'm going to be leaving her - which has happened a few times over the years. Also when she's not happy with her own work life and I know this to be true.

I didn't want to tell her just yet, but my belly, along with the fact that she knows I've recently cut out caffeine, due to our frequent outings to the Coffee Tree, is going to help her put things together before I'm ready. Also, the million trips to the pisser yesterday.

So it leaves me with this quandary - do I tell her so soon (I'm 4 wks y'all!), or do I keep it from her and let her figure it out by the time I divulge the confirmation? Moreover - how can I break it gently to her that I will not be returning to work? And, that the baby is due in the latter half of our notorious grant season?

What do y'all think?




© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

No Down Time for YOU!

Welp....

No dice on the job that was too-good-to-be-true.

I don't know why - I didn't ask why. I don't really want to know why.

I just wonder what it was all supposed to mean - I mean, I wasn't even looking for a different job; I love my job...mostly...there are times when I'm bored, and long for the community building parts of it that seem to have all but disappeared - the people part of it, because right now it feels monotonous and too paper worky. But I have a great Boss - quirky as all hell, but loveable and someone with whom I can swap "Tales from the White Trash Can," as we have come to call them.

What is so frustrating is that it SEEMED like the ideal situation, it SEEMED like the lights were green all the way, and nowhere along the way did God hand me a roadsign telling me to U turn ASAP and just STAY PUT WHERE U ARE AT GIRL! Which is basically what I prayed for.

Naw....He made me conflict and contort my emotions such that I didn't know what I wanted. Such the guy He is, making the woman do all the work, :smirk: I kid, I kid....

But after all that? I ran into the red light of rejection bay-bay. :insert screeching brakes sound here:

It's dawned on me that I don't necessarily need the additional time to be Super-Full-Time-Working-Part-Time-Grad-Schooling-Volunteering-
Involved-Parenting-Woman that this job might have given me (I say might, because after digesting the interview it sounds like they underestimated the time commitment for ALL that they are unloading onto this position), rather I need more of Him and less of me.

"I love you SO much, Daahr!"



© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Checking in to say

I landed the interview!

Tomorrow we leave the kiddos and embark on our couples only journey.

We thoroughly enjoyed yesterday and today I got a pedicure - taking the kids along to get manis for the girls (3M is with us) and Smurfy blue toenails for the boy. Fun times!


© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Remember Those Mervyn's Sales Commercials?

The ones where the two gal pals would stand outside the store, noses pressed to the glass window, saying, “Open, open, open…”

I don’t get to see them anymore, seeing how Mervyn’s has pulled out of Colorado, but I feel that same kind of vigilance toward my in-box right now.

Thursday, I was wheeling and dealing with a potential new employer via e-mail about an opening that I was interested in. An opening that is a great next step up in my career path, a step down in hours – which is perfect as I have so stinking much on the plate before me as we speak (for the current and very near future at least, with potential to go back up in hours once my MPA is complete), and tailor made for my experience/qualifications/desires.

I mean, we were negotiating salary and I hadn’t even yet put my cover letter and resume in.

When all was said and done it was left with, “All that said, Heather, you still need to put your application in to my subordinate.” I was feeling like that was all rather winky-winky noddy-noddy at the time and was on cloud 9.

Friday, I got my resume and cover letter together, and turned them in via e-mail to the contact, with the President of the organization bcc’d.

I’m feeling all “what if someone else is qualified and they want it?”

Now I'm just wishing they’d throw me a bone. And checking my in-box, willing there to be something, some acknowledgment, as the window loads.

Spinning and Buzzing, Oh My!

Holy schnikes, I have had a lot of excitement for the day.

None of which I can reveal on here, just yet.

Let's just say that a passing thought from this weekend seems to have morphed into reality in less than 24hours.

And all I can hear in the back of my mind are the words of the following, eerie prophesies:

This is powerful creative, attractive energy - in fact, you can almost count on someone you meet on a short trip or in the course of your daily routine offering you a gig, job, or other money-making opportunity. Just remember the door probably won't swing open if you don't unlock it....

But what if you woke up one morning this spring or summer and realized you could step outside of all those programmed security, status and power goals and just be yourself, warts and all, doing what you love to do? What resources would you need to live that simple, clear life? How might living from your own integrity open you up as a channel for abundance?

And today's words? Totally on target.

You could feel temporarily disempowered or befuddled in the hours leading up to ednesday's Full Moon in your 8th House.

Uh, yeah - as I'm suddenly realizing that I so am NOT Superwoman!

Because this Full Moon happens in a tight conjunction to Pluto, it appears to indicate the reappearance of a powerful person or energy into your life.

Ok....

As you know, Pluto will now spend five more months in your 8th House before moving into your 9th House for a 15-year stay in November.

Actually, no, didn't know that but thanks for the heads up.

The 8th House is a strange place, signifying surrender to a power greater than oneself, psychological death and rebirth experiences, other people's money and energy, and the processes of letting go and deep emotional cleansing. This may sound rather Draconian, but until we learn to let go and trust, we can't open ourselves to the transpersonal power that is so much more enjoyable and more fulfilling than our personal egoic manipulations could ever be. So, accept uncertainty, stand in your integrity, and consciously release the need to control the flow of your life.

So basically, I'm going to get close with God again? Because it seems like I'm falling more into that - yay, as that's what I've been needing.

Mercury's direct turn on Thursday encourages you to pay attention to your money, but remember that abundance can flow to you from anywhere at all. It's the ultimate paradox: surrender is the key to victory.

As today has been spent calculating whether I could leave a FT job to take a PT job, and I have been scrutinizing the Benjamins, this is uncanny.

P.S. It's looking more and more like yes!



© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Befuddled

I don’t get it.

Maybe you, dear internets, do. Please read the following e-mail exchange and let me know what you think.

Date: Monday, March 11^th
From: HeatherMeyer@workemail.com
To: MysterPerson@Agency.org
Subject: 2008 Grant Process
Importance: High

Hi MysteryPerson,

I am working on a draft presentation schedule for the City’s grant process, and have tentatively scheduled Mystery Person’s Agency’s presentation for Monday, April 7^th. Presentations made on April 7^th will be scheduled to run between the hours of 5:30 PM – 8:30 PM, and you will be notified at a later date with the location and specific timeslot you have been scheduled for.

If you could, please confirm your availability to make your presentation before the Human Services Commission on this date, I would greatly appreciate it. Also, if there is a preferred time I will take that into consideration; however, due to the volume of presentations being made, we may not be able to accommodate all requests.

Thank you for your timely response!

Heather Meyer
----------------------------------

Date: Tuesday, March 12^th
From: MysterPerson@Agency.org
To: HeatherMeyer@workemail.com
Subject: Read: spam: 2008 Grant Process

Your message was read on Wednesday, March 12, 2008 11:26:57 AM (GMT-07:00) Mountain Time (US & Canada).
--------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thursday, March 13^th
From: HeatherMeyer@workemail.com
To: 100+ representatives from various agencies (read: scheduling is a bitch!)
Subject: 2008 Human Services Grant Application Hearings
Importance: High

Hello agencies!

Hopefully, you are all breathing easier today, now that the deadline has come and passed.

As you are aware, I have been in contact with you all this week regarding presentation dates. I have heard back from the vast majority of folks regarding dates that work/don’t work, and have finalized the schedule accordingly. I have attached the hearings schedule to this e-mail. Please find your agency’s name/proposal and note the date, time, and location for your presentation.

As many of you are new to our process, here’s how the presentations work:

Presentations are your chance to bring your application to life before the Human Services Commission. You will have 20 minutes total, per presentation slot – presentations are to be no more than 15 minutes in length, and will be followed by 5 minutes for questions that the Commissioners may have.

No Power Point, please.

You may bring handouts and other informational materials about your agency and/or program. Please bring 15 copies of each item.

You may bring clients to provide “testimonials” at your presentation; however, per above, please be mindful of time constraints. As evidenced by the schedule, we have a tremendous amount of agencies participating in the process, which means we must stick to the allotted times.

If there are questions that require advance preparation to answer, I will contact you 24 hours prior to your presentation – this will usually be via e-mail, so please be sure to check for questions the day before your
presentation.

Finally, the time disclaimer. Yes, I know many of these slots are late. I will be there too, all month long, ;-) Please understand that someone has to go last, and if that is your agency this year, we are sensitive to that. In addition to accommodating for fundraisers and other important events, I try to rotate presentations as fairly as possible. If your agency had an early presentation last year, you likely have a late one this year, and vice versa.

If you have any further questions, please let me know and I am more than happy to assist.

Heather Meyer
-----------------------------------------------

Date: Friday, March 14^th
From: MysterPerson@Agency.org
To: HeatherMeyer@workemail.com
Subject: Re: spam: 2008 Human Services Grant Application
Hearings

Heather,

Agency is actually on spring break for that entire week. Would it be possible to schedule a presentation the week prior or after?

Thank you.

Mystery Person
------------------------------------------

Date: Friday, March 14^th
From: MysterPerson@Agency.org
To: HeatherMeyer@workemail.com
Subject: Re: spam: 2008 Human Services Grant Application
Hearings

MysteryPerson,

I am really sorry, but this is the finalized schedule. Because I received a read receipt from you on Tuesday but had not heard back, I assumed that the proposed date would work. At this point, the vast majority of agencies have confirmed their availability and I have already sent schedules out to the printers.

If the presentation date is too problematic, it may be worth noting that agencies are not required to make a presentation and can be considered solely on the basis of their application.

Thank you!

Heather Meyer
------------------------------------------------------

Date: Tuesday, March 18^th
From: MysterPerson@Agency.org
To: HeatherMeyer@workemail.com
Subject: Re: spam: 2008 Human Services Grant Application
Hearings

Heather,

Wow. I read the initial email seeing this was a draft, and that I would respond after I got through my 2 grants I was working on last week. As I mentioned, this is our Spring Break and I will be out of town. Would another agency be willing to trade spots?

Mystery Person

I do not get it. It was a draft, on Monday. But people actually have to read these applications that came in, which means I need to get them distributed ASAP. Thus, when all the people who had "absolutely not" dates contacted me IMMEDIATELY, and when I took into account all of the read receipts with actual responses, I felt confident with the FINAL schedule.

So again I say – I don’t friggin’ get it.

For one, if you knew that a grantor who paid a sizable chunk of your payroll year after year had a process that included presentations which might coincide with your travel plans, wouldn’t you be vocal about that in a timely fashion? Maybe even, I don’t know, I’m going out on a limb here, before such an accommodating scheduling attempt was made? I had a few agencies that did just that, so it’s not unheard of. Also, see “may not be able to accommodate all requests” statement in my original e-mail.

For two, when these agencies present to the United Way, the dates they are given to do so are non-negotiable. So why would you complain, virtually kicking a gift-horse in the mouth, when your own delay to communicate with a grantor who tries to accommodate everyone’s needs was the reason you didn’t get what you needed wanted?

For three, ALREADY BEEN SENT TO PRESS. Methinks Mystery Person could stand to take a gander at the 1.) cost of this process, 2.) thickness of the books, which are in presentation order, and thereby changing it up now would really create chaos, and 3.) the fact that the universe does not in fact revolve around Mystery Person.

For real, I just want to say, "I'm sorry you had plans. I couldn't even make plans for Spring Break with my daughter, who is also on break that week, because I had to help staff this damned process. Life's a bitch sometimes, eh?"

Every year, I am astounded by the audacity of folks who don’t get their ways. It is so ironic to me that every one of them is in the field of helping people, a field in which compassion goes a long way – and then they are rude to people trying to help them.

© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

If I Were a SuperHero...

I would somehow be able to make time stand still in those inevitable weeks of catch-up, so that I could, you know, actually catch up?

I missed a week of work last week due to the nefarious bug known as Influenza, aka In Flew Inz A BigAssed Monkey Wrench to My Tightly Scheduled World.

Then, on top of missing work, I got behind in my studies with school. I mean, my head was swimming over the fact that I really did have to get up and care for two children when all my body really wanted to do was curl into fetal position, suck my thumb and wait for this pain to end - had I attempted to read about leadership, organizational cultures, informal authority v. formal, et cet er a, I think I would have spontaneously combusted. So I didn't.

And now, I am paying. Dearly.

My gut has been in a knot all week. Because usually, I just forego sleep when I've got to get to the grindstone and bust my chops. But this week, my body has said, "Oh hell to the no, sistah, you need friggin' sleep," and I'm snoring by 9:00. Which means - the extras, the catch-up? So not happenin'.

Oh, oh, oh, and then guess what? Grant applications were due Wednesday. Which means I am swimming in a SEA of paperwork, scheduling logistics, and dealing with rude people. And the Boss happened to schedule her vacay this week and next. So I'm going it alone.

And so, I really, really wish that I could just freeze time, whip through all this stuff, and have everything signed, sealed, and delivered. ON TIME.

But, seeing that I am a mere mortal afterall, and not SuperMama, alas! I cannot. And it pisses me off. Moreover, it leaves me feeling like I can do little more but dribble my lips with my finger like a looney tune.



© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved