Slamming Doors Shut and Prying Open Windows

Yesterday   well, given that it is now almost two days later, MONDAY, I officially gave myself permission to say "This isn't working," regarding my stint as a lia sophia advisor.

I just didn't have the knack for getting the right people to host, much less attend parties for me.  And while I TOTALLY LOVE their jewelry, and stand behind their quality, the biggest part that didn't work for me was trying to sell people on the idea that they Needed. More. Stuff.  I mean, the whole Material Girl scene has never been mine, but this sale was especially hard to make when I myself have been in no position to buy jewelry, let alone store-bought laundry soap, new clothes that aren't second-hand, etc., and I KNOW that I'm not the only one given our knock-down economic state of affairs right now.

I've been praying for a long time about this, and I thought that a recent inquiry from out of the blue was a sign to not give up - but when my hostess went incognito on me and all other newly rekindled attempts to drum up leads were snuffed out, I kindly got out of the way before God let the door hit me in the heinie.

I'd pretty much made my mind up about this on Friday, but this weekend sealed the deal.

In a really ironic way, a simple phone call with my mom opened up a whole new world of opportunity for me. I was telling her about being on the verge of kissing lia sophia goodbye and she suddenly POOF! transformed into a veritable career advice fairy godmother!

Turns out, she's been moonlighting as a Court Appointed Parenting Coordinator and as she told me all about it, it is totally up my alley.  It's basically a free-lance case manager type of deal; parents have to pay a retainer to her and then she bills the hourly rate set by the judge from it as she works for the family (I for one love that paid in advance deal, don't you??)


Not only could I see myself doing this and being successful with it, but I WANT to do this and be successful with it.  And not just for my fiscal benefit.  You see, if I do a good job in that kind of venue, EVERYONE wins - me (cha-ching money never hurt anyone), the child[ren] in question, the family, etc.  And I do love me some good win-win set-ups.

So, to get started?  I am re-writing my resume and writing cover letters to query local attorneys about their need for PC's as well as for referrals. And, because I am all about diversifying the eggs and not putting them all in one conservative portfolio, I'm also using the same tactic with local therapists and counselors re: case management for their clientele.  I did it for the non-profit sector, but never thought to think outside that box and extend my services to self-payers in the private practice system.

Also in the back of my mind has been the dream of writing for keeps.  You know, to be a for-reals kind of writer, the kind I just knew I would be when I was whipping up some fantabulous 6th grade literature (some pieces of which my teacher confirmed via facebook is still in her possession because she used them for every succeeding class post-1991 as examples...now if only she would send them to me as she promised!) the kind that lands magazine deals and culminates with BOOKS.  Yeah, that.

So long ago I shelved that dream on the premises that I didn't get an English degree - nor did I really take all that many writing classes period since I placed out of them during college entry - that I hadn't done any writing extracurriculars (e.g. college newspaper), and that I simply didn't know how to get started.

And now?  Now I am saying to that logic, "SO WHAT?!?!"

I'm going to go for it!

Going for it, reaching for my dreams and all that other clichéd verbiage looks something like a wild maelstrom of the creative process known as brainstorming.

And know what?

It feels really good.

For a long time now I've lamented the feeling of having lost some of myself in this SAHM chapter.  Not losing my SELF as in "Me Time," or "Grown Up Stuff" or ambition or whatever guise that selfishness might wear - not that.  But that sparkle, that feeling of knowing that I'm competent at what I'm doing and what I'm talking about, because this parenting gig?  Isn't exactly the most affirming thing when you feel like you're just cracking out the how-to books 5 minutes after the exam began.

Right now, I'm visioning and trying to figure out branding myself.

I'd like to offer myself up as a free-lance writer, editor (seriously, I was so peeved that the Francine Rivers trilogy I've been reading goofed on a character's name - it was Octavia in book 1 and most of book 2 when she suddenly morphed into Olympia - because, DETAILS, people!  And, despite the conversational, informal grammatical style of my writing on this blog, wherein run-on sentences and those beginning with 'and,' 'because,' 'but,' and other improper introductions abound, I really am a syntax and spelling SNOB who, however wrongly so, tends to deduct IQ points when I see bad grammar, misspellings/typos and other butcherings of the English language), and case-manager - sort of an odd mix, but all have the purpose of bettering one's communications and relationships in the world, be they corporate, personal, or something in between.

I've thought about business names and I really am enthralled with the idea of playing off of the 3 R's of education theme that many are aware of.  Something like 3r Solutions, Media, etc., with a tagline/explanation that the 3r's I focus on are Reading (editing), wRiting, and Relationships (case management/communications focus).  I don't know if it is as catchy as I think though, as so many people are becoming less familiar with the original meanings of the 3R's.  So we'll see.

I'm meeting with a local information architect Friday to further discuss and brainstorm.

In the meantime, I'm drafting cover letters and have secured some prominent people's support in being references for me.

I had the passing thought when all of this started to form in my mind, "How come I never considered this all before?"  I mean think of the heartbreak we could have been spared regarding the finances!

But God answered in my heart almost instantaneously.  Not audibly [I wish!  wouldn't life be so much easier then?] but with that inexplicable sense of utter revelation. You needed to grow as a mother and re-set your priorities.  You're now at a place where the mundane tasks of SAHM-hood are just life and not giant and tedious obstacles.  Now the desires of your heart are prioritized and you will ask for them to be given unto you in the manner that I will, not how you will.  Besides, had you had a caseload and deadlines when you were so ill, what would have come of you then?  You've come so far, my daughter. 

Now it is time for a lot of hard work and fervent prayer!

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