Run through...

Courtesy of Coloradoan
Fort Collins 2011 FireKracker 5k

Run through the FAT days,

   Run despite whoever loves you {or doesn’t}

  Run through REGRET and GUILT,

 Run through FRUSTATIONS,

  Run though LONELINESS,

 Run through those BLISSFUL days

Run despite your DYSFUNCTIONAL family

 Run through people drifting IN & OUT of your life

Run through your own fits of SELF-DOUBT

Because i am NO LONGER that girl 

who thought constantly of her struggle to disappear

I RUN

to be HEALTHY, 

grow STRONGER, 

and be as ALIVE 

as I possibly can

  

poem from a pinterest post I stumbled on eons ago.

Today was one of those blissful running days.  I of course, had the kids with me, and couldn't go as fast and free as I felt like going, but it was one of those gorgeous, warm and sunny in Colorado winter days that is such a gem after being indoors too long.

So glad to be able to get out again, and pray that this weather continues.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us
throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and 

let us RUN with perseverance the race marked out for us. 

--Hebrews 12:1

Light Up the Sky

Woke up this morning to a beautiful sunrise (thankfully the sun is rising later than o'dark-thirty - near 7ish - or else I'd have missed this gorgeous celestial display)

 You light up the sky to show me that you are with me

No I can't deny that you and right here with me

 LORD, our Lord, 

   how majestic is your name in all the earth!

   You have set your glory 

   in the heavens

When I consider your heavens,    

the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars,    

which you have set in place, 

what is mankind that You are mindful of them,    

human beings that You care for them?

More stunning photos are seen on Julie's blog.  (She's much better with a camera than me)  

And this video, is just awesome, watch as the skies came to life:

For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature... 

-Romans 1:20

Resolved: To Reflect [and Correct] Continually

Yesterday we had a really good sermon about resolutions and repentance - despite our speaker's claim that it was a non New Year's resolutions sermon.

Why?

Because {insert gross oversimplification of the message here:} we shouldn't wait to change - we should change as soon as we feel something is a problem in our lives.  Now.  Not Monday or New Year's Day, today!

I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment.

And yet....

My only counterpoint is that we shouldn't toss the baby out with the bathwater and call all New Year's resolutions bad.  Yes, if you identify a problem in your life on January 3rd and don't do squat about it until January 1st of the following year - that's a problem.  If you resolve to change and it only lasts a week or two, that's bad too.

But, often in our culture, we don't take time to reflect, save when Hallmark (or Dick Clark as the case may be) tells us to.  And in reflecting, it is only then we can identify areas to improve, grow, and do differently in our lives.  One of the most natural times to do so is New Year's, and so, I contend that if you make New Year's resolutions more as a result of reflection than as a result of putting off the challenging, painful process known as CHANGE, more power to you.

In the same vein of the sermon, though - I think we ought to reflect more in our 21st century lives, take time to unplug, slow down, breathe quietly with God, communing freely with Him dwelling on our hopes, dreams, and our druthers and reconciling them with what we know to be His will for us.  We don't spend one meaningful night/weekend with our other loved ones and call it good for a year, do we?

For planning purposes - I feel that we should do some serious introspection and self-evaluate our personal performance and/or goals in life at least quarterly.  What's going well?  What's not?  Strengths/Weaknesses?  Where/What would we like to be by the next quarter?

For intimacy with God purposes - most Christians talk of a daily walk with God.  This is more than church attendance and corporate prayers. As I shared last time, I've been struggling with this, and really, it's not a new struggle - it's been my same struggle since I first told the Lord He could have my life.  Here's my life, but uh, I'm not quite ready to talk to you about everything.

So, for accountability purposes, and because I tend to be like Aibileen from The Help, doing better with writing my prayers (though I can't claim a high/speedy rate of positive answers like Aibilene did), I'm going to attempt small, daily frequent, check-ins with God.  By writing my prayers, I also avoid the over-usage of God's favorite word, too.  Hehehe..... Some will be here, the stuff that has to do primarily with me and my struggles (so that we avoid this kind of situation), and stuff involving other people will be written in a journal.

Today, I begin...

Dear Heavenly Father,
Who am I that You care for me?  But You do, lavishing rich and universal blessings on all Your children, the richest of which was Your Son.  A thousand thanks to Jesus!  But it goes beyond that.  You bless me in ways that speak to my heart, ways that aren't one size fits all.  And You do this for everyone who has ever existed and loved You.  That's pretty amazing.

I come to you today with a sheepish heart.  I've been playing hide n seek again....or is still a better word here?  I don't know exactly, but you do.  I always want to do better at reading about you and learning who you are more intimately, but then I don't ever do it, at least not consistently.

There's a word, consistent.  I feel like it is the antithesis of my essence, and I hate that, because so many things, good things, preach consistency.  Parenting skills, health and wellness lifestyles, financial management, bible reading, prayer....and I'm not consistent in any of those areas and wonder why life feels so chaotic all the time.  I pray that you will help me, dear Lord.  Help me to daily take one step closer to you so that I can feel the affirmation of Your promise to come toward me in return.  Please help me to consistently seek You so that I can become more consistent in other areas in life.  Help me to see Your goodness and strive to mirror that to my children, family, friends, neighbors, and strangers.

I thank you so much for providing the opportunity to teach my kids a valuable lesson about respect today.  An opportunity that I would love to say I've been praying for You to provide, but we both know that's just not the case.  Nonetheless, it's been on my mind as I've seen some areas of concern in recent months, and You gave us an Incident, which gave me a huge opportunity to teach them.  One in which I'm pretty sure they heard me.  It wasn't fun, and I'm not exactly proud of the details of the Incident, but the end result was a good vehicle for learning and growth.

Who's that walkin' down the road?

This year at our life group's white elephant exchange, I think I got the best gift of all of 'em, me being the type who loves to both study people, individually and corporate (hello psychology degree!), and subsequently poke fun at the things such study uncovers.

The gift?

This book right here ↓

It's basically very similar to the [now seemingly defunct] Stuff White People Like blog I used to follow, only it lambastes the stereotypes seen within the [primarily protestant] Christian church - a sampling of such is available at the author's website (true story, I didn't see his self-proclaimed connection to SWPL until AFTER I'd written the above)- and despite the bordering-on-irreverent humor, there are wise little nuggets of insight also.

One of my favorite bits in the book is filed under "Secret Christian Bands":

Write songs about your girlfriend and God.  All your lyrics should be interchangeable so that if people in the audience want to pretend you're singing about God, they can.  If they want to pretend you're singing about your girlfriend, they can.

I've noticed this trend for a long time, and Jon Acuff calling it out in his fun, tongue-in-cheek fashion gave me a serious case of the giggles.  (Well, really, the whole book did.)

And, for me, I've also done the inverse with secular music that could be Christian (something Jon also blogged about, and made me laugh out loud...you really should go read that one if you'd like a laugh) and found myself waxing theological/philosophical about [please read the disclosure statement that follows before you click] P!nk songs/videos (posting a youtube link on Facebook was NOT the best manner for me to do this in as the title showed in a thumbnail and posted in everyone's newsfeed that was friends with me.  I heard about it.  So, full disclosure: there is visible profanity if you click that link.  I hope you don't let that deter you because the video is Full o' Power and can help others see what life is like in a very fallen and hurting world, lest they've forgotten and/or have suffered only 'acceptable' pains in their lives....still a little gun-shy, I guess).  I've long done this with do-gooder songs like Jewel's Hands, Life Uncommon, etc (she is one of my musical heroines), Jack Johnson's Own Two Hands, almost anything by U2, and many other songs - generally, those songs that speak to my soul don't talk about missing someone's taste, so it's not such a leap for me to hear God talking to me through secular music.  I think.....

Anyway, tonight, it was Daphne Willis' Bluff that had me hearing the Spirit.  I mean, besides the soulful timbre of her voice, the lyrics struck me.  (Now, I know that this song is sorta last year and all, but I only discovered her 6ish months ago on NPR, and promptly downloaded a bunch of her music.)  Tonight was the first time I really heard it.



We're going to do a little lyrical analysis here - song (Holy Spirit?) in black - my thoughts in green

When you figure it out you let me know,
This indecisive nature of yours is really beginning to show,
God, are you reading my blog now?  I've put it out there that I'm indecisive in the taglines.
You got your time to find your voice,
You got your space to make your choice, 
A way to go, 
And you gave me time to sit, 
I'm sorry, I've just left You on the wayside.  Don't know what my problem is thinking I'm on my own in life. Old habits die hard.
And a place to get to, 
Where now I know,

You don't know what you want, 
Isn't that the truth?
But you think that what you've got is not enough, 
I know...yet I have glimpses when I see just how good I DO have it.
And I keep tellin' you that getting things right can be so tough,
True 'dat.
Guess what,  you're not so tough,
But do you really have to tell everyone else?
So I came back here to call your bluff.
That's the amazing thing about You - no matter how defensive or neglectful, or just plain selfish I am, You are always coming back for me - calling my bluffs.
You don't have to let me know a thing cuz I figured you out, 
Well, there is that omnipotent thing
See all this time I thought at least you knew what you were all about, 
I thought I did too...but it changes so quickly. I feel like I'm always just on the verge of knowing and then I'm going a different direction.
And I waited to let you decide what you could do without, 
Just because I haven't pursued You doesn't mean I think I can do this without You...I know that sounds lame, because it is.
And I watched your contemplations expose the shadow of your own self-doubt.
Pay no attention to that [wo]man behind the curtain!  Yeah, I'm just as successful at hiding it as the Wizard of Oz was, huh?

You don't know what you want,
But you think that what you've got is not enough,
And I keep tellin' you that getting things right can be so tough, 
Guess what, you're not so tough, 
So I came back here to call your bluff.

And all of the times you made it,
Like you were the one who waited,
Ouch!
But I never hesitated to call,
Double ouch.  So true.  Forgive me.

And that's not what this should be,
No, it's not - I'll try harder
Just a series of blame between you and me,
It's all on me, God.  I never blamed you, I just....grew distant.
Cuz the bottom line is far above it all.
Amen!

You don't know what you want,
But you think that what you've got is not enough,
And I keep tellin' you that getting things right can be so tough,
Guess what,  you're not so tough,
So I came back here to call your bluff

If you couldn't tell, I've been in a sort of spiritual slump....for awhile.  It's not that I'm wrestling some Jacobean match with God.  It's not that I've fallen into sin.  It's not that I'm doubting.  It's more about that subtle sneaking up of discontent and wanderlust that has distracted me from what is going well in my life, and from whom all those good things have utterly... freely... and graciously been given.  It's about flying by the seat of my pants and not being intentional with my time and habits.  It's about a life-long bluff I've told myself in order to not reel when loved ones let me down: The only one who will see to it you have what you need is you.

Thank you God for calling my bluff, especially through a lesbian woman's secular song.  

That's Stuff that this Christian likes: Equal opportunity.

I'll leave y'all with this quote from The Shack...to which my title refers, contrary to its old black spiritual song connotation.

“Does that mean," asked Mack, "that all roads will lead to you?"

"Not at all," smiled Jesus..."Most roads don't lead anywhere. What it does mean is that I will travel any road to find you.” 

― William P. Young, The Shack

How does God speak to you?

Stream of Consciousness 12/19/11

Three years ago today....

I quit my job working in local government to stay home with the kids.  While it has been invaluable to me and the kids to have this time together, there are some days when I look back and think, What the hell were we thinking?  


Our finances have been shaky ever since.

Colton has changed dramatically since he became a middle child....and on days when the doubt surfaces, I often mourn the loss of the easy-going, agreeable little boy that he was before we had three kiddos vying for our attention and affections.

I'm often overwhelmed, wondering how I ever did half as much as I did while working full-time, going to school part-time and volunteering because now?  I find myself floundering, a lot.

But....then....

I remember.

I'm working on publishing my Facebook Timeline (gotta go in there and delete all of that TMI kind of stuff I used to post back when it was just my interwebs friends on FB, before the whole free world jumped aboard).  In doing so, yesterday I found myself drawn to May, 2009.

The start of it all.

May 12, 2009 at 1:33am via BlackBerry 

Heather Blair Meyer is @ PVH w/pneumonia and an obscene amt of fluid outside of her lungs

May 13, 2009 at 6:08am via BlackBerry

Heather Blair Meyer is just so blessed w/ family, friends and church family who are always there for us in a huge way!

May 13, 2009 at 10:25am via BlackBerry 

Heather Blair Meyer just got discouraging news: gonna need surgery to get all the gunk out

May 17, 2009 at 8:44am via mobile

Heather Blair MeyerTentative plans for today: 1 removal of chest tube 2 eat lunch w/the family outside on the patio 3 GET BETTER!

May 21, 2009 at 8:20pm via mobile

Heather Blair MeyerIs going home tomorrow! I expect my room will be a zoo in the morning

And then the recovery....

 May 23, 2009 at 4:10pm

Heather Blair Meyer is feeling stronger everyday, loves being back at home, and is richly blessed. God's love is everywhere in my life and I am forever grateful for it.

Friday, June 12, 2009 at 8:43am Celebrating Health!
by Heather Blair Meyer

Hello all,
Yesterday, exactly one month after I went into the ER, I received a preliminary clean bill of health (meaning I still have follow-ups later this month) from the Infectious Disease doctor, praise God! I also got my PICC line out and was able to enjoy my first shower in a month that I didn’t have to “suit up” for with plastic wrap on my arm – ahhhhhh, the little things we take for granted ;)My CRP’s were in the normal range and my white blood cells had gone down even more since my last visit (they were in the high normal range last time).
We cannot thank everyone enough for the prayers, visits, food, housecleaning, babysitting, flowers, and financial assistance that you all have given in some way. We are truly blessed to have the church family, friends, neighbors and family that we do, and without you this would have been impossible.
Throughout this whole ordeal I kept reflecting on Philippians 4:13, and I now have a new take on this special verse. You all were (are) the body of Christ – his hands to prepare meals and his feet to run errands, his ears to listen, his shoulders to lean upon and find comfort, and so much more. Now when I read, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” I think of Christ in totality, not just the Savior who died for me but the people who make up his body here on earth today as well. And it’s true, I made it through a horrible illness with the aid of our Lord and His people and now feel stronger than ever.
Those of you getting this message who don’t do church, please don’t feel excluded by my words, because we are all children of God and I count your help as part of this wonderful blessing of which I speak also.

Love to all,Heather and family

And then the running... 

 August 19, 2009

Heather Blair Meyer has had a productive day: much needed prayer time with my girls, RAN for 19 minutes, cleaned etc etc. will crash hard tonite!

October 9, 2009

Heather Blair Meyer gearing up for tomorrow's busy day....5 k in the morning and a lia sophia party in the afternoon!

October 10, 2009

Heather Blair Meyer 43:54 straight jogging, no walking! felt so good!

February 13, 2010

Heather Blair Meyer is getting the fam ready for the sweetheart classic. 4 miles, here I come

May 31, 2010

Heather Blair Meyer in the car on the way to Boulder. As this month has been the anniversary of my illness, I've been pretty unemotional about it. til this morning, got a bit teary watching prerace coverage on the news, and realizing Just How Far God has delivered me 

May 31, 2010

Heather Blair Meyer  http://bolderboulder.onlineraceresults.com/individual.php?bib=GK544

It's pretty amazing to go back and see things in hindsight...

We'll be ok.

My Food Evolution

So, anyone who knows me well knows that Food and I have a long-term love-hate thing going.  If we were on Facebook together, our relationship status would be 'It's Complicated,' especially when that interloper Body Image comes around and wedges him/her [Question: how exactly do you personify body image, that you usually equate as a feminine struggle, when you yourself are a hetero female?] self in between us.

There were the years when Body Image convinced me that I seriously needed to ditch Food's sorry butt to the curb.  Period.  But the co-dependent in me craved his touch, that sated fill of my belly, the swell of serotonin that followed the carb-heavy selections with which he tempted me.  So I found myself smack in the middle of a love triangle between Body Image and Food.  Said triangle's name?  Bulimia.  I'd sneak around with Body Image and rebuff Food all day long.  At night, Food and I would meet in clandestine conditions, and overindulge with each other.  It was hell on earth.

The years that followed had me reconciling with Food, re-establishing boundaries, norms, and finding new ways for us to relate with each other that were equally as pleasing but with less damage.  During these years, I had a restraining order against Body Image.

Enter Exercise, and over time it became acceptable for Food and I to double date with Body Image and Exercise.  As a quartet, we have found balance and harmony.  Sort of.   Food and I still keep to ourselves too much sometimes, neglecting Exercise, which makes Body Image lash out in a jealous rage.

Food and I have long known that fresh is best, and the purest we can get, the better.  So we've had fresh fruits and veggies together for a Very Long Time.  Ever wanting our relationship to succeed, I do what any married woman does and stay abreast with the latest and greatest self-help guides to success.

Whole grains, stay away from refined flour/sugar as much as possible, low-fat, lean protein, right?

Until recently.

My Facebook and blogs and other internet dealings kept popping up with things like Wheat Belly, paleo diet, primal eating, etc.  But what really did me in?

This video.


This video haunts me, and wanna know why?

Because my daughter had so much struggle with the sensory integration as a young child (it's gotten So Much Better) and my first son is starting to show signs of brain-related behavior/learning issues.

Because my loved ones deal with chronic, inflammatory problems such as high blood pressure, acid reflux, joint/back pains, etc.  And they all eat 'healthy' diets per the USDA.

Could they exercise more?  Yeah, we all can.

But by and large?  We Can Prevent If Not Cure what ails us by changing our diets!

So, I've started to implement a [mostly] grain-free, mostly legume-free, diet, no, lifestyle, that is catching on in my family.  Like my friend Jen, I'm going about this gradually.  And it's catching on.  Seth informed me yesterday that he'd had a grilled chicken sandwich, served in lettuce, for lunch yesterday.  Kelsey packed a salad with meat and egg on it in her lunch this morning.  Colton is a tougher sell, but we'll get him ;)

I still eat quinoa and brown/wild rices, and legumes, but usually only at dinner and in smaller than standard serving sizes.  It's all about keeping the glycemic index and inflammation factors low.  Self.com has a great nutrition data tool that you can type virtually any food (along with method of preparation) and get standard nutrition facts, along with glycemic load and inflammation indicators on.  Breakfasts have been fruit/veggie and yogurt/almond milk smoothies and/or eggs with meat and/or veggies a la omelettes.  Today, I splurged and bought a gluten-free bagel (brown rice flour) breakfast sandwich and Oh.Em.Geeeeeeeee (goodness, too, not the other Gee).  So good.  But it was a splurge - not a regular part of the lifestyle, ya know?

Some primal/paleo folks say no dairy unless it is grass-fed, organic, and I say - that's not an affordable option for our family.  We are still doing dairy, and not necessarily organic.  We just don't have the money for that.  Same goes for our meat.  We will buy grass-fed, all natural when we can (or rather, harvest it via hunting), but budget constraints limit this.

But corn, soy, gluten, most sugar*? Sayonara! (*Agave in small quantities, and occasional cane sugar indulgences, y'all)

In baby steps, as some things like salad dressings and condiments have residual amounts in them, but as we finish them up, they will be replaced with healthier options.

Just call me Britney....or maybe not

I could drop a coy little "Oops, I did it again," it being started yet ANOTHER blog when either of the others would have sufficed.

But....

It was no accident.  And it certainly wasn't a feigned accident, either.

I needed something ME.  Something where I could write again.  About anything.  (Grant writing's got its purpose and can be quite tedious er, fulfilling, yes, that's it!, but it isn't soul-soothing like the clickety clack of the keyboard typing something creative, meaningful.  INSPIRED.

And I have a lot to be inspired about.  If by inspired you might mean, challenged beyond all previously imagined possibilities in several areas of life.  Well, yeah, there's that stuff, too, but seriously - there is a lot I have to be grateful for.  But, there I go again, arguing with myself - it's been So Much Fun inside my head this past year with little time to blog and...PROCESS things.  NOT.  Anyway, back to the point - there are, admittedly yes, some significant struggles in life I'm going through (who isn't, right?), but there is a whole heck of a lot more that is going right and it's time I studied these things, meditate on them and find my contentment again.

So, what's been going on?

Well, the kids started school again (like 5 mos ago....yes I'm a quick one).

Kelsey is in 5th grade.  Let that one sink in, y'all.  My baby is in her Last Year of Elementary School (which is almost to its halfway point, no less), and I am slightly terrified for her about middle school.  Ok, who am I trying to kid?  Forget slightly terrified, I have honest to goodness PTSD like reactions when I spend anymore than 2.5 seconds thinking about it.  Srsly.  I'm breaking a sweat right as I type....or maybe that just makes for better storytelling.  But yeah, changes are on the horizon.

Going on 15

Colton continues to have some fairly minor, but consistent struggles with school.  The kid is smart - no doubt about that from the classroom nor the home - but he's uh, the one that teachers codify as energetic.  "He's just so, energetic, you know," is said at conference time with a knowing, too-polite smile.  And I nod, smiling back a telepathic message that says, "Oh, yes, darlin', I am QUITE familiar with the boy's energy and short of military school, I'm not exactly sure what to do with it either."  But over all, he's doing well and PTL we have a teacher who knows what she's doing with him this year!  (We got stuck with the same teacher who stayed comfortably in the box when it came to teaching that we had with Kelsey, and well, suffice to say interest in school was not high last year with him).

School is not his favorite, eh?

Christopher is now past 2.5 and neither speaking coherently, sleeping through the night in his OWN damned bed, nor potty trained - which aggravates the ever-lovin' tar out of my over achieving self, especially since the first two were either mastering or at least showing interest in those areas by this age.  But, frustrating as that may be.... the boy is a clown and brings me GreatJoy with his very clever humor.  His face is beyond expressive - it is an art form he has to be able to contort his features so that they convey EXACTLY what he is trying to communicate - often pure ridiculosity.  Yes that's a word.  I said so.  He goes to a pre Pre-School 2x/wk and loves it, so I'm not too concerned about his development - I just hate when everyone else points out his delays, like I clearly haven't noticed.  Like, hello peeps, have you met Me?  The totally overly observant one?  Yeah, so yes, I'm aware, now shut up, ok?  Thanks.

One of the contortions of which I speak

The Marriage Front / Life
Well, we are now officially an old married couple - having hit the lucky number 13 in years of marriage this year.  Which, if you do the math above * yeah, that's when I started changing my mind more.  Not because of Seth, but you know, cuz I'm a girl and it is totally my prerogative to be a little flighty now and then if I so choose.  once life gets a little more complex than just having to make decisions for oneself, then the decisions that once were so clear get muddled with shifting priorities and changing demands and, well, the monotony and busy-ness of life.  Just in the past 3 years we changed our minds, collectively, that we wanted another child and that it would be our first choice for me to be at home full-time.  And then I got sick and wracked up a bunch a medical debt, so now I'm a non-profit consultant, about to celebrate a whole year of business - can you believe that - and gaining some serious momentum to the point that I may soon be working the equivalent of full-time again.  Ebb and flow, things are fluid in nature and not as static as we may think them to be.

Seth has really changed a lot these past 3 years, but ya know, age and another kid, oh, and nearly losing your wife can kind of do that to a man, I've heard.  It's all for the better, too as I seriously find myself more and more in love with him each day than the one before.  It's not always that exciting eros of the early days kind of love (though, it's not unheard of, rawr!).  More often than not it is the Alison Kraus or the Ingrid Michaelson variety, deemed by many as sorta boring, but it is constant and secure and unequivocally accepting of me, and helps me get through life in a way I can't imagine Not Having. :swoon:

He's such a hands on dad with the kids at these ages; the relationship between him and Kelsey is really something to behold lately.  He's imparting his knowledge and love of hunting to her and the confidence she's gained from this, this inclusion into what has often been a boys only club since the dawn of time, has been nothing short of remarkable and inspiring.  It's even given me the blood lust somewhat, but shhhh....I still enjoy playing the role of the genteel wife who wouldn't dare bloody her hands.  

Then, he took on Cub Master for Colton's scout pack - no small commitment - and it has been a blessing to ALL of them, I'd say.

We're busy,,,even without organized sports, we still have both kids in choir and Odyssey of the Mind, Colton in Scouts, church groups, etc. that basically keep us busy most every night of the week save Mondays and Fridays.  Tonight, for instance, I worked all day, flew home to pick kids up from sitters and change, drove to the school for back to back choir concerts where we met Seth, drove to get a fast food dinner (which I will say I stuck to my recent Paleo convictions and thoroughly enjoyed a lettuce wrapped burger and side salad from Carl's Jr, thankyouverymuch!) and only got home for the first time in 13 hours at 9:30pm tonight. :sigh: tomorrow morning will be here all too quickly and I'll be rushing the groggy older two off to choir practice before school starts.  I don't know how people do it when band, sports, etc enter the family calendar, but it keeps us on our toes,

I haven't exercised since Tuesday and I feel conflicted about that - but this week has been seriously busy.  I do feel a sense of satisfaction about my eating this week, and that sure helps to keep me from self-flagellating about the exercise.

Anyway - that's what's been going on around here - how about you?

Rose Bed Theology

My husband has been the church groundskeeper for the past several years decade.

What started out as just mowing the lawns and keeping the weeds at bay in the parking lot (on a volunteer basis) has since morphed into the title of [co]Deacon of Facilities (still a voluntary thing).

The couple that was originally commissioned to landscape the flowerbeds at church got out of the landscaping business years ago, and now the church has some very unruly flowerbeds on account of the fact that said couple never laid weed barrier down in these beds in their effort to ensure job security.

This year, the rose garden has been particularly afflicted by morning glories.

This season started out as uncharacteristically wet - April and May just rained and rained and rained.  And being that there were three children and two jobs to attend to, the rare sunny day we'd get was usually a day full of scheduling for activities other than weeding.  It has still rained/hailed more than normal here, but this summer has since gotten into a dreadfully-hot-followed-by-afternoon-thunderstorm pattern that is typical of Colorado.

The rose bed got to me a couple of weeks ago, though, and I said, "We have got to go rip out those weeds, the roses look pitiful!"

So we did.  After 4 hours in the heat (not raining [in the mornings] now!)of squatting and crouching, getting scratched to hell, tending to 4 mischievous kids (we were babysitting, too) I was D-O-N-E.  And boy howdy did my hamstrings howl for the next several days!

It was hard work and hardly entertaining, yet somehow I managed to hear the whisperings God directed toward my heart about the inherent lessons of the rose garden.

First of all, it didn't take long at all for these horrible, life-choking weeds to grow to the extensive mess they'd become.  Sin is like that.

Ok,so maybe God didn't whisper that one to me as much as he gave those words to Seth for him to teach our older boy with and I just overheard.  

And these plants weren't new either - they were mature, well established roses, but every bit as susceptible to the weeds as any Christian is to sin.

Second, the roses couldn't undo the entanglement on their own, nor did they cry out for help, necessarily.  No, they were dependent on the astute observation and careful intervention of others.  

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.  But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 

At one point, Mr. Fix-It observed, "You must be a lot more patient than I am."  This, being a statement filled with irony, garnered a quizzical 'say wha???' look from me.  He then explained that he was just ripping the vines at the bottom of the plant and pulling, whereas I was carefully finding the base of the vine and unwrapping each rose stem individually.  He concluded, "Yours look way better than the ones I've done."

That much was true, but before he went on thinking too highly of me, I told him the truth: "Actually, it's more out of self-preservation than it is patience."  It was my turn to elaborate.  "You see, when I was all fast and furious about it, I would get all scratched up, plus, it tore the roses up too.  When I take my time and am gentle about it, sure it takes longer, but both the roses and I benefit."

No sooner did the words leave my mouth than I felt God's Spirit, nodding beside me.  ....restore...gently.  But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.  Tempted to do what?  Rush the job, haphazardly 'fixing' the situation, leaving yourself and the stuck person, albeit no longer stuck, bleeding and bruised on the way?  Judge the person and fight to wrestle the sin at hand out of that beautiful rose of a person, only for both of you to come out battered and missing pieces?

No matter how good intentioned one may be, if they haven't love or gentleness when dealing with a brother or sister stumbling into or stuck plumb in sinful habits, there will be casualties.  Proceed with caution and lean on the Lord's understanding, not your own.

One More Reason to Love Him

Ahh, Mr. Fix-It, this man is pretty freaking incredible, y'all.

Because his employer was a sponsor for the Firekracker 5k this year we scored two free entries into the race.

I registered myself without hesitation, but was slow to sign him up.  He hadn't said he wanted to run.

He hasn't been training either, so my confidence was a leetle...well...LOW.  Plus, we didn't have anyone to watch kids for us as we ran, and ya know, logistics.

Then his parents decided to come up and Mr. Fix-It, AKA Mr. I-Love-Me-A-Challenge, said, "Hey, sign me up.  Mom and Dad can watch the kids for us.  This will be fun."

Ok.  Done.

Prior to the race, Mr. Fix-It gets his game face on

Courtesy of the Coloradoan, this is me getting my game face on for the last stretch

Mr. Fix-It is a FAST runner - think the hare - and usually prefers short distances, e.g. around the bases, down the football field, etc.  He runs about a 7:30-8 minute mile without training (yes, I am completely envious of that, as I had to work for a year to get a sub 9 minute mile out of my legs), but I wasn't sure how he'd do over distance, even if at a pace much slower than his own, that of my 11:something/mile pace.

He did great.  A few times I felt the bile rise and I stopped to walk briefly in order to keep from puking right then and there.  He could've kept running.  (Though funny thing, when I walked he fell behind - he told me I walked too fast!)

He was a gentleman and let me finish first knowing how much it meant to me, though because I'd crossed the start mat a second or two before he did, we finished with exactly the same times!

But, probably the best part of the whole race with my husband was his humor - even panting he still got his smart aleck commentary going, to the benefit of those around us.

Example #1 - As we approached Mile 1, there was a volunteer announcing times and another traffic volunteer standing in the road with a 'slow' sign.  Mr. Fix-It then proceeds to say, "Dude, I know we're slow, but do we REALLY need a sign telling the whole world?"  It garnered many chuckles.

Example #2 - Between Mile 2 and Mile 3 we had to run eastbound on the 'wrong' side of a westbound street.  There were cones and signs telling drivers to remain in the far left lane as the race was in progress, plus volunteer traffic flaggers.  However, one driver of a car felt obliged to lean out his window and yell, "This road should be CLOSED!" as we ran past.

Mr. Fix-It proceeded to tell the crowd, in his best red-neck speak, "I bet that boy's gonna go home and drink him a can o' red 'n' white Budweiser.  He'll be all, 'I was on my way home from buyin' Copenhagen at the 7-Eleven and all these people was blockin' the road!'"

Example #3 - there were several noticeably pregnant women running (don't ask - it defies ALL laws of gravity in my mind to run THAT pregnant), and Mr. Fix-It told me, "We can't let the fetuses beat us - they're making their moms do ALL the work, and that's not right," in effort to keep us moving at the end.

I love this man.

Courtesy of the Coloradoan.
My boy Middleton in the bottom left at the fun run.