Getting Into His Mind

Reading comprehension is an important skill in life, no?

I tend to think so, especially when one uses children's books to be an effective parent. One can choose great stories rich with application and relevance to things going on in his/her child's life, but if that child has no comprehension skills, said application and relevance are often missed.

A couple of weeks ago, I read a review of of Sourpuss and Sweetie Pie by Norman Juster that made me think, "Hmmmm.....sounds like a good one for the kids." So I reserved it from our library and when it came in, whilst we were off school for snow last week, I took it home and read it with both Punkinhead and LMNOB. As I was hoping to make an impression with this book (since both kiddos are prone to weird, 0-60 in no time flat, baby-anticipating mood swings right now), I did what any teacher worth their salt would do to boost comprehension: I asked a lot of questions and stimulated a lot of discussion with the kids about just what the meaning of the parts of the story entailed.

Later that night, when Daddy got home, we continued driving the lesson home at the dinner table. LMNOB gleefully gave Daddy the plot synopsis with an interjection here or there from Punkinhead with a missing detail.

Charlie Brown eventually asked, with the intent of some soulful introspection from the kids, "Well, who do you know that can be a real Sourpuss at times then?"

LMNOB began pointing to herself and Punkinhead with a sheepish frown on her face, while Punkinhead, disappointed, said, "Jay Cutler."

**ETA** Since writing this yesterday, the news broke a story about how the Bronco's QB was indeed a sourpuss and deals to trade him are now being officially negotiated. I thought it highly ironic that I posted this yesterday and later that night this was the top story.

Comprehension, check.

Self-awareness and/or personal responsibility? Still working on that.



© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Resistance is Futile

Husbands everywhere ought to heed the following rule of life:

Moms (yes, that means your wives also if you have children) really do know best.

Case in point:

Yesterday after church we went out to eat with some friends and then the group proceeded to visit a couple who'd just had their first baby that morning at the nearby hospital. Neither LMNOB nor Punkinhead had used the restroom since church.

Following the hospital visit, Charlie Brown drove us over to a nearby motocross track where there were races going on. Motocross is the current love language between Charlie Brown and the kids, so a good time was had by all. Still no restroom breaks as there weren't any where we were at.

Of course, both kids fell asleep in the truck. LMNOB, however, woke when I opened my door and proceeded up to her bathroom. Punkinhead on the other hand, NEEDED a nap something fierce, and has recently become such a light sleeper that if transported, he will inevitably wake and say, "I'm not tired anymore!" I weighed all of this in the back of my mind against the possibility of him wetting himself and/or getting disoriented if left in the truck and crying, before asking if Charlie Brown was going to take him in. Rather, I suggested that he take him in.

Charlie Brown brushed me off and said "He needs to sleep." Which was true.

Ooooooooooo-kay, I said, then took off for a nap.

Shortly after I wake, Charlie Brown tells me, "So, I felt so bad for Punkinhead when he woke up."

"He came in crying didn't he?" I accuse.

Sheepishly Charlie Brown replies, "Yeah, and soaking wet. He felt horrible and said, 'But Daddy, it had been so wong!' and I told him I wasn't mad, that it had been a long time, and it was ok. But man, poor guy - he really took it to heart."

I huff and say, "Didn't I tell you this could happen?"

Seriously, guys why do you not listen to us?






© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Testing the Facebook Connection

Just trying to see if my facebook profile will show my blogposts automatically now.



© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

5 More Weeks....

Or less.....

Squeeeeeee!!!!

I've had a sneaking feeling that Easter weekend is going to be his time, so we shall see. Trying not to get "married" to that idea, but it's just a gut feeling I've had for a bit.

Today I went for my 35 wk check up (last one was 2 weeks ago), and I only measured 32 cm in fundal height, which is where I was at at 33 wks. Because there was no change AND because I was 3 cm behind (normal is +/- 2 cm), the doc wanted to schedule a u/s for next week. She thinks that he likely just dropped, which can mess up the fundal height measurement, but wants to ensure that he's still growing and/or that my amniotic fluid level is where it ought to be. So I get to see my boy again next Monday. I am looking forward to it as I never had an u/s past 20 wks before and think it will be neat to see him with more definition.

Charlie Brown was more worried about today's wonderings than I was - but that's because I thought the baby had dropped overnight as the pressure was more intense this morning when I woke up. Charlie Brown made me worry, though, after our visit as he was like, "What if they say we have to deliver on Monday because he's not growing or because the fluid is low?" I hadn't even gone there, despite the doc saying that either could possibly be a factor. I'm still not terribly concerned, but now there is that nagging doubt. Nevertheless, if we deliver next week, it's only 1 wk preterm and Punkinhead was born at 36 weeks, we know that drill. Not too scary.

One thing that is nice is that we'll get a definitive answer as to his position, too. He's kind of head-down, we think, but still quite sideways, so it will help to know if he needs any maneuvering before the birth.

I've started having some irregular contractions, just B-H, for sure, but they are working. I was 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced today!



© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Hoping for a Better Day

It's the last day of Spring Break, ya'll.

And yesterday broke me.

LMNOB and Punkinhead do SO WELL when they are in school 8 hours a day and each doing their own thing. But when they are together 24/7, hoo boy, watch out.

I felt like all I did yesterday was yell, and put out fires, and yell, and send kids to time out, and, uh, yell. Oh wait, at one point I totally lost it and cried.

I do NOT like being the yelling mom. I do not like yelling in a car, I do not like yelling from afar. I dislike yelling about safety and I dislike yelling at kids because they are lazy. I especially most hate yelling as a follow-up to jillion reminders/warnings to do/not do something - like, seriously, have they not learned to obey me? Apparently not.

And then the stress of it all was pushed over the edge with this one little disparaging thought:

Wow, they are being really beastly - sure you can handle one more?

No, I wasn't sure I could handle one more. No, I all of a sudden was not looking forward to summer vacation, which I'd previously envisioned as an idyllic season of warmth, lounging in the backyard with the baby while LMNOB and Punkinhead rode bikes in the alley and played with the neighbor kids with not a care in the world. Now I saw power struggles and post-partum hormones peppering fights about how we would not be playing video games when it was so wonderfully nice outside. And I cringed inwardly.

What have I done? Who have I become?

I know that these thoughts, these anxieties are Satan trying to pull me from God and His purpose for me and my family. So I'm leaning on Jesus today and hoping that it makes all the parenting difference in the world.

Also? Calling on a few girlfriends for reinforcement.








© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Today I Discovered Dubya's Post-Presidential Vocation

At least, I thought so. Turns out the item on the label I was reading is a legitimate term, even if it sounded like a new Bush-inspired attempt at a neologism.

Sometime just before Her Bad Mother blogged about the latest and worst (sorry for the weird formatting, but the article is down a ways, scroll for the info) thing about HFCS (aside from all the previously bad correlations), I had decided to really start cutting it out of our diets as much as possible. When I heard mercury is also associated with HFCS, I began to even more seriously cut it out, given LMNOB's Sensory Integration Dysfunction and the tie between mercury and all things Autistic Spectrum Disorder.

It is hard to completely get HFCS out of your diet as basically all condiments have it, most store bought breads do (at the time I began scouring labels at the supermarket even the pricey Orowheat breads had it on their label; however, they have since eliminated it as an ingredient in the production of their bread. Also, I recommend Nature's Pride, it is HFCS free, cheaper than Orowheat on average and tastes much better than the Pepperidge Farms natural breads! No, not being paid by them to say so, just think that if people are serious it is helpful to know what's what out there.), etc., etc. So, I've honed in on the things we eat EVERY day, like breads and cereals, lunchbox items, "juices" and the main ingredients in my cooking staples. I have yet to buy organic ketchup for pure budgetary reasons, but in general we have really reduced this culinary evil's presence in our lives.

It takes time as one has to really read labels (and know HFCS's other names as some companies are pulling out the Canadian/European names for this bad boy) and it can cause a bit more strain on the pocket book, but not necessarily if you are a smart shopper (see that time thing above though).

Anyway, all of that to tell you that today while I was at the grocery store reading labels, I hit a new term....

Interesterified soy oil.

Firefox wants so badly for me to correct that sucker, because it doesn't recognize it as a word either.

My first thought was, "AHA! George W. has gotten himself a job as a food label writer." Then, "WTH does interesterified mean, anyway? That they've made boring oil more interesting? So ambiguous, these newfangled food terms."

We all know that trans-fats are bad because they are genetically modified fats that take an unsaturated fat (read: liquid) add hydrogen (hence hydrogenated and/or partially hydrogenated) and make it a saturated (read: crisco-like solid) fat that will clog your arteries much faster and more seriously than naturally saturated fats (i.e. butter and meat fats....mmmm...meat fat, lol. This prego is seriously craving one fine ribeye right now) will. Oh, wait, you didn't know that? Well now you know and "knowing is half the battle." (GI Joe! Sorry, it's that pop culture reference thing I do)

And since most of us know that trans-fats are bad and why, a lot of food companies have eliminated them....or just reduced them to 0.something grams in their serving sizes so that they can somewhat completely misleadingly boast "0g Trans-Fats in every serving!" Seriously, even with reading labels people miss this, because they read the "Nutrition Facts" rather than the ingredients. Be thorough, folks, be thorough, because somehow many of these food-producers are claiming no trans-fats in their products, yet "hydrogenated/partially hydrogenated" still shows on the ingredients. And they ain't natural.

So interesterified fats.... It's a whole new ball of wax. And also another seemingly unhealthy one. Makes me want to cook everything from scratch now. Which makes my head hurt. Can nothing be easy yet safe?


© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

I Think I've Lost My Voice

Not physically, as in laryngitis, but as in my writing identity. Hence my absence.

And really, I hate to admit this because on thinking about just what my writing voice has been, it has kind of embraced the victim mentality for way longer than I'd care to own up to. Not the woe is me and life sucks victim, but the I've been wronged so I'm gonna be an angry advocate former victim voice. For so long my voice was that of THE (as in consummate) red-headed step-child, the outcast, a woman spurned; misunderstood and needs unmet. My writing was my way of seeking validation from others as I so desperately needed to be heeded, attended to, understood and well, HEARD.

But, what I'm finding is that my marriage is meeting more of those needs than it did before. As are my friendships as I now have time to invest in little mid-day rendezvous (I hope my memory of French plurals isn't failing me, as I REALLY wanted to tack on an es to that word) to cultivate face to face friendships.

I'm not as angry, don't feel like I have as much to prove as I used to, and also, the fodder in my brain makes me feel like I was turning into just another mommy-blogger. Not that there's anything wrong with mommy-blogging, but lately it just feels like I don't have anything new and fresh to add to the mommy-blogosphere.

Finally, there's also the fact that I'm suffering from severe placenta brain. My [big] words elude me with frustrating frequency.

Example: A month or so ago, Charlie Brown showed me a truck that had been customized with a hand-crafted tailgate, bumper, etc. One of his co-workers had designed and built these parts. A few days later, I met him while visiting Charlie Brown at work. My brilliant conversation with him?

"So you're the one who does....that...stuff! You know, custom stuff with metal?"

He looked at me with his brows raised and nodded slowly, like he was dealing with a mentally retarded woman.

"Oh, you know, that stuff - what do they call it? You know like on American Chopper?"

Charlie Brown stepped in with the missing word, "I believe you're thinking about fabrication, right?"

Bingo.

And that's just one time - it happens with alarming regularity and lends my writing to sounding like a 5th grade book report. Not exactly up to my normal snuff.

In the meantime - here are the things that have been happening at Casa del Meyer in my absence:

-Punkinhead's Parent/Teacher conference included School OT and a request to have him tested and evaluated as to whether a 504 plan is in need. Primarily they are concerned with his fine motor skills as pertains to handwriting, which is an issue. Punkinhead is very bright with letter recognition, phonics, and actual reading. But translating that knowledge via his hands just doesn't come easily for him and it does make him frustrated and say things like, "I'm just dumb!" I was all for the testing - until a comment was made about wanting to screen his attention issues too. My kiddo does not have ADHD, lol. He's a BOY, one of 14 boys out of the 18 total kids in his class, he's a SOCIAL kiddo, and he's a July birthday which means he is considerably younger than the rest of his class. His breaks in focus are likely more due to those issues than an organic one. But we'll see what the testing shows.

-LMNOB turned 8 last Sunday and suddenly the tween switch was flipped, in conjunction with some "OMG!ThebabyiscomingSOOON" anxiety and the results have been less than pretty. Tantrums and discord are back and I am NOT PLEASED with this.

- Charlie Brown continues to be the BEST HUSBAND/BFF ever to this pregnant mama. He has been so supportive and such a rock for me. I totally do not get his sexual attraction for me at this stage, as I am tired and therefore not taking great strides to care for my appearance, and uh, HUGE. But who am I to question it?

-We've all had a cruddy cold season. My last post was about kids taking cold medicine, and just 2 wks ago we had another bout of colds and ear infections here.

- As a result, I had protein in my urine 2x last week and the doc was concerned about pre-eclampsia, but happily everything was skewed because of my cold and all is well.

- We are on the countdown for the little dude's arrival. Only 7-ish (I am 32 wks 5 days) more weeks!

- Oh and the movie Fireproof? Totally worth seeing. The acting starts out a little B-movie quality, but it is the plot that makes the movie, not the acting. I also love the fact that Kirk Cameron's real wife came in as a double when there was a kissing scene. Charlie Brown and I both cried like babies watching this show.

I think that is a wrap. I'll try to be on more - it's just finding this new voice that I need to work on.



© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

I May Not Cry Over Spilled Milk, But Spilled Motrin?

On the floors that I JUST. MOPPED. yesterday? The floors that made me ache with horrible pelvic floor pain?

:sigh:

Yes, I totally lost my cool this morning.

Back up a bit and let me just say that Friday afternoon, I received a call from the school.

"Uh, hello, Mrs. Meyer?"

"Yes?"

"Hi, it's School Nurse, but it's not an emergency. Punkinhead came down to the health office for a bit this afternoon to rest as he was not feeling well. After about 20 minutes he returned to class and proceeded to throw up. Do ya think you can come get him?"

So I went and got him, and LMNOB since it was like 20 minutes before the final bell would ring. We made a trip to the grocers to get some gatorade and soup supplies - you know, things for an upset tummy. In the parking lot, he threw up again, poor guy.

Saturday he stayed home from the Daddy and Kids Snowshoeing extravaganza that had been planned. (Charlie Brown and LMNOB went and had a great time). He was puke free and showed no signs of fever or any other maladies.

Sunday night, he complained of being "cold" despite it being completely warm. And again last night, plus he put himself to bed at 7:00 instead of pushing the envelope past 8:30. So the bug is not totally gone and he was running a small fever right?

This morning he was A-OK. Until we started REALLY getting ready for school - then it was a fuss and suddenly his throat was hurting terribly. Remember, Punkinhead is pushing the limits lately, too. I proceeded to get the Children's Motrin and Tylenol out and stagger dose him for the pain. This is after all just a rotten virus going through the school.

And the struggle ensued.

My kids HATE medicine. Of any sort.

To the point that I usually have to tag team them with Charlie Brown, plugging their noses and prying open their mouths with the Jaws of Life to force the medicine down. If our society suddenly turned Christian Scientist (or whoever it is that doesn't believe in medicines), we'd undoubtedly be reported as child abusers. In the absence of Charlie Brown and the presence of a 3rd trimester belly, this proved to be more than difficult, and my painstakingly mopped kitchen floor wound up wearing the first med-cup of Motrin.

And I lost my cool. First I screamed a primal roar that conveyed my rage and frustration at the situation. My kids looked at me in fear, which was awful but I couldn't stop.

"YOU ARE THE CHILD AND *I* AM THE PARENT! YOU DO WHAT I SAY, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND! I KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU, SO JUST STOP FIGHTING!!!"

Punkinhead began to cry (again) and I snapped out of it.

"Honey, you need to take this medicine if you are going to feel better. Otherwise you are going to hurt all day and it's going to be no fun at all. You ARE going to school."

And that did the trick.

As we'd missed the bus by now, I drove them to school. On the way, Punkinhead announced, "Now my throat doesn't hurt anymore!"

I don't think they heard my teeth clench.






© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Ooooh, and I Just Can't Fight This Feelin'

I have always loved REO Speedwagon.

And because I think in reference to pop culture at any given moment, it is no surprise that this song popped into my head this morning.

You see, I am still puking in the mornings, despite being in my 3rd trimester, despite eating protein at night and taking my prenatal with food earlier in the evening (as opposed to right before bed), etc., etc. But it's ok, really because once I'm done (usually before I eat or drink anything) I'm done for the day and good to go. No all day nausea or inability to eat/drink for fear of not keeping it down, or anything serious like that.

But there is this rather indelicate problem that sometimes arises. Sometimes the urge to purge strikes me before I've had a chance to eliminate the night's culmination of holding my bladder.

And so I puke and pee simultaneously. Each heave forces a new trickle of urine down my leg. Makes me feel SOOOOOOOO grown-up and self-assured, let me tell you.

So how in Hades did my twisted brain connect the dots between an 80's love song and this disgraceful phenomenon?

For starters, the original video (see below) has a baby at the beginning of it - coincidence? I think not.

Moreover, check out the first two lines of the song:

I cant fight this feeling any longer
And yet Im still afraid to let it flow

I know, I've got a sick sense of recall at the strangest moments.





© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Transitions

I am now two months into my venture as a SAHM.

LMNOB has loved having me at home more and is thriving.

Punkinhead, on the other hand, is not as pleased with having a mama around 24/7 who now has more energy to devote to enforcing the rules. He's pushing the limits. Constantly.

And I'm pushing back. Isn't that my job as a parent, to reinforce the boundaries?

That part of it is not so fun, but overall, I can say that this decision has been a great one for our family. God has blessed us in so many ways already.

For one, we anticipated a substantial decrease in Charlie Brown's pay given the ginormous new health insurance deduction. But his first two paychecks this year have both exceeded last quarter's average checks - so we're good! And, thanks to my draining my sparse retirement account that I had with the City, we paid down some lingering debts and are all caught up financially - which feels great!

The part of it that I didn't quite expect was the new closeness Charlie Brown and I are experiencing. I was hesitant about this change and entered into with fear and trepidation at the back of my mind that the stress of being the sole provider would make Charlie Brown resent me as I stayed home and did "fun" things with the kids, or truth be told, slept and lazed about while they were in school. Hey, we'd been there before, (minus the kids in school part) and history has a thing about repeating itself.

But wonder of wonders, if anything, he has been harping on me when I OVERdo things and telling me I should rest more and take care of myself more. We have synched up spiritually and emotionally, and our marriage is a beautiful thing that I feel so blessed to be a part of. It is far from perfect, to be sure, but the journey we've had in getting to this point so makes me appreciate the beauty of where we are now.

We had a date night on Friday - the first really since our vacation in July :note to self - NEVER go that long between dates again!: and had a great time. HE said all of the mushy gushy stuff that I just did first. HE told me that he loves this new life we are living. HE told me the things upon his heart without me having to pry it out of him. And I just love that.

The past two weeks I have been going back to the office to train my replacement and it is amazing how 2 hours (plus travel time) eats into the day - I can't believe that it used to be 8+. It has been more difficult for me to keep things on routine with just those two hours gone (see sporadic blogging, among other things), how did I ever hold things together before, I wonder. Sometimes I suspect that being pregnant factors into it.....but I don't know.

Speaking of the pregnancy, all is going well on that front. "Bud" is moving all the time and especially so when I lay down (already he has learned to keep mom sleep deprived and on her toes). We are fairly set on his name now - though that is to be kept a secret on here until he comes - the insiders already know and well, it would be nice to have some element of surprise! I suspect he is still transverse as I am still feeling movement on the far left and far right simultaneously most days, but he's still got a trimester to go and get in the right position. I am begging and pleading with him to do so as I REALLY have a phobia about c-sections (don't know why as I've never had one, but it is there rational or otherwise).

Well, I should get some laundry done.

More, later.





© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved

Neighborly Challenges

Friends, we have this neighbor.

He's the guy who makes my heebie-jeebies flag wave on a fairly consistent basis. And his second wife doesn't live with him anymore but they carry on as husband and wife in all neighborhood introductions - this is just weird to me.

When he moved back into his house last winter, Charlie Brown and I just kept a low profile and hoped our paths wouldn't cross too much.

Recently though, Charlie Brown did some work for him on his truck, and the door of interaction has swung widely open again - I find him outside every time I'm taking out trash and conversation is forced on me, he's over here asking a question, etc, etc.

Yesterday while walking the kids to the bus stop, he was returning home from work and rolls his window down. "So, ah, I'm having a BCS Bowl party at my house tonight - you guys should come."

I smiled, and muttered something about checking with Charlie Brown about our schedule, then thanked him for the invite.

Later, I told Charlie Brown and wondered how to get out of it. "We could just say the kids need to go to bed early tonight and get their homework done - which is true...." we thought. Charlie Brown thought he might pop in just to save face a bit, and we were pleased with ourselves.

For awhile.

Charlie Brown called me later, "You know, we should probably just go on over. This is exactly what we were talking about last night at church. We don't have to stay too long, but he's reached out to us and it would be dumb of us to not take this opportunity."

He was right. At church we'd been talking about how we as Christians often shirk the opportunities to be relational and share God's love with those who are not in our "circle." Not a in a preachy, "Hey, sinner, do you know Jesus?" way, but more just sharing our lives with those with whom we don't go to church and/or don't necessarily "like." One of the ladies in class put it best as she commented that we're all about supporting a brother/sister who is struggling on Sunday morning, "but you know, don't call me at 11 at night for months on end when this struggle pops up for you." Ouch.

Way to go Charlie Brown for stepping up and being the spiritual leader of our home! I am so impressed at his growth, particularly in his recognition and determination to do the right thing of late.

I went over and told our neighbor to expect us over there at the start of the game. He then asked if he could borrow our card table to put the drinks on. I obliged and as he came over to get it, I got to hear a story told about his tv programming that I knew was false, but what good would it have done to call him out on it then and there? Besides, this guy makes me nervous, remember? And in the scheme of things, it's sad that he feels like he has to make up stories (he blamed his lack of satellite on his former tenants when I knew that his on again off again wife took the receiver in question when she moved out) about things as petty as tv programming - if he feels he needs to do that, then so be it.

We went, and had mostly a great time. Some other neighbors and a couple who used to live by us were all there and it was nice. Punkinhead had some issues with the kids (he was the youngest boy - all the kids closer to his age were girls and so he tried to play with them, as the big boys were watching the football game, but the girls were all tweeny and mean girl-ish to him) but eventually they meshed and he didn't want to leave when we said we needed to go at half-time.

We had some opportunity to share how God is blessing us - the baby, my recent decision to stay at home - and I just pray that we are capable of becoming the "salt of the earth" that we are called to be for Him.



© 2008 Ramblings of a Red-Headed Step-Child. All Rights Reserved