Understanding Barriers to Economic Independence

Hoo boy, doesn't that sound profoundly academic after my last, and very trivial post? ;-)

Well it is. The following is an article I wrote for my office's newsletter - the information which, it should be noted, came from my renewed interest in the Grad School of Public Affairs at UCD - they sent me a HUGE packetful of interesting/recruiting info re: their school/program, including their magazine which had a brief blurb on the study I talk of. Funny how things all tie together, eh?

-Without further ado, Ta-DAH! here is the article-

UCD Study Gains Understanding of Barriers to Economic Independence

In 2002, the University of Colorado at Denver’s (UCD) Graduate School of Public Affairs (GSPA) and the Colorado Department of Human Services partnered to apply for a grant from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. The grant allowed Colorado to participate in a multi-state study of the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) program, assessing client characteristics that help or hinder their attempts for self-sufficiency. The Colorado report generated by the study was published in November 2003, but only recently was made available on the web.

TANF is the federal program which replaced the older Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC) program as a result of the passage of The Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act (PRWORA) of 1996. PRWORA mandated a national restructuring of America’s welfare system, with key changes including:

~A new 60 month lifetime limit on receiving financial assistance for each family;
~Federal requirements that States engage more of their caseloads in work activities; and
~Increasing States’ flexibility in overseeing and implementing welfare and other service related programs.

For Colorado, the Colorado Works program was implemented in 1997 to complement the new TANF program. The State of Colorado decided to pass the new flexibilities, allowed by PRWORA, on to the counties. As such, emphasis on education, on-the-job training, job-seeking and other procedures for TANF recipients vary throughout the state.

Sounds Great, Why the Study?

Despite indications that the changes were helpful for many families to transition from welfare to work, still many families are facing difficulties. According to the Study,

These changes in law and program structure, coupled with a strong economy, led to dramatic drops in welfare caseloads in both Colorado and the nation. While some families have been forced off the rolls due to their inability to comply with requirements, studies have documented that many have left welfare for
employment. But others remain dependent on TANF for extended periods and their
TANF time clock is ticking. For these families, it is likely that they face
barriers that extend beyond limited work experience.

The Study’s focus was to determine why some TANF families are not successfully finding sustainable employment. The methodology for the Study consisted of UCD’s GSPA staff and students interviewing 521 TANF recipients across the state, as well as reviewing files housed at the Colorado Department of Human Services. A total of 5,284 single-parent TANF cases were studied. According to the Study, “These [single-parent] cases comprise about half of the total caseload, but they are of primary interest in studying barriers to employment since the adults in these cases are the ones who are subject to time limits and work requirements.”

We at the City of Loveland Human Services Office feel that it is important for our community to visibly see some of the trends we are facing, and offer this article as an overview of the Study. The entire study is accessible on the web at http://aspe.hhs.gov/hsp/leavers99/state-rpts/co/welfare-barriers.pdf and has a lot of useful information. (Ya'll kinda already know that!)

Findings

Some of the Study’s findings are a challenge to prevailing stereotypes. For instance, many more of Colorado’s case load are short-term TANF recipients than long-term. To quote the report,

More than half have received TANF for one year or less. Indeed, 23% have [only] received assistance for less than 6 months.

Another myth was dispelled when the Study looked at education. While some may be of the opinion that welfare recipients are undereducated or simply uneducated, the Study concluded that Colorado’s TANF recipients are “better prepared educationally for workforce participation” than those in the other 5 states participating in the Study. For instance, the vast majority (71%) had at least a high school diploma/GED, with 41% having education beyond high school. In addition to educational preparedness, the Study suggests that Colorado TANF recipients have or exceed the prerequisite skills for entry-level employment. With these findings, one inevitably wonders what employment barriers beyond education and experience these Colorado families face.

Individual Factors

Is a person able to remain employed if they have repeated absences due to a chronic health condition? For 25% of Colorado TANF recipients, the answer is no, but because they are not eligible for Social Security Disability, they rely on TANF and try to find employment in the meantime. And, how likely is it for a person who suffers from social phobia and yet is limited to entry-level employment dealing with customers to remain in that job long-term? That’s just one example, but 40% of TANF recipients interviewed reported having mental health issues, and without proper vocational guidance to meet their needs as well as appropriate mental health care finding sustainable, long-term employment is difficult. In addition, 18% of TANF recipients demonstrate signs of a learning disability.

Family Factors

Imagine being the parent of a special needs child – special needs being related to either health issues, behavioral issues, or both. Finding childcare which accommodates special healthcare is very difficult, and if between gaps of specialized childcare providers, the parent must be absent from work, for how long can that continue? The same issue is posed for the parent who has to repeatedly leave to put out behavioral fires at their child’s school. Another scenario is having an elderly parent or disabled spouse to care for – but the end result is the same; most employers don’t care to retain employees who are frequently absent. Four in ten TANF recipients face these kinds of extraordinary caretaking responsibilities.

Another family factor that ends up being the barrier to employment is domestic violence. For 20% of TANF recipients, “severe, physical domestic violence,” had been experienced in the last year. Domestic violence alone has intense psychological impacts on the victim as well as the children, and that can factor into employment barriers. But added strain comes when a victim decides to leave the abuser and faces homelessness. How easy is it to obtain employment when one doesn’t even have a mailing address or phone number to be reached at?

Other Factors

~Unstable Housing – The majority of recipients moved one or more times during the year, with 29% moving more than once. After mental health issues and care-giving responsibilities, unstable housing was the 3rd most common barrier to retaining employment.

~Transportation - About one-third of TANF recipients do not have a valid driver’s license, and three in ten do not own or have access to a vehicle.

~Lack of Good Jobs – during the span of this study, 2002-2003, and since, the state of Colorado has been in an economic recession. For purposes of the Study, a “good job” was one that met all of the below characteristics:

Wages more than $8.00/hr
Regular, fixed, day-time hours
Not temporary or
seasonal, and
Offers paid leave (sick or vacation) and health insurance

Only one out of five jobs held by TANF recipients (currently or in the 12 mos prior to the Study) met all of the characteristics. The Study noted that as a job had fewer of the above characteristics, the duration of employment decreased.

Perhaps most disturbing about these barriers is that TANF families rarely face just one of them, instead, most face several, which has a compound effect on the feasibility of finding gainful employment. Peggy Cucti, research director at UCD’s GSPA, said in a recent UCD publication, “The more the barriers, the harder it is overcome any one – and the harder it is to hold a job.”

--------------------------

That's all I wrote for the article, b/c I don't want to step on the toes of local policy makers. But this article PROVES that our TANF offices need to screen for these family/health issues and provide GOOD referrals to service providers who can assist them with those needs, while TANF workers can focus on getting the parent(s) back into the workforce.

And, it also means that there's a huge need for services that 1.) don't exist (i.e. good, feasible transportation - there are accounts of getting a child off to school and then to work taking OVER 2 hours in these parts), or 2.) have not a way to expand....based on current funding.

Something's got to GIVE....which is why, in 500 words or less er, 1300+ words, I want to go back to school so I can be a policy advocate/lobbyist/maker.

For Girls ONLY - No Boys Allowed!

That is to say, I'm about to go on a body type/clothing rant.

Thus the title of this post is dual in purpose:

1. you of the y chromosome persuasion usually don't care to hear this talk anyway (so go away!); and
2. it involves my ubus - and I don't really want guys tuning in to get a mental picture, know what I mean? Ewwww, *shudder*!

So....let the ranting commence...

The other day I'm at Target, for the purpose of getting LMNOB some tights for school as the days are getting cooler. And, feeling a little bit blue lately, I thought to check out the clearance racks and pick me up a little sump'n sump'n somethin' somethin' some'in some'in (ok, so I don't know how in the world you spell that colloquialism, but you know what I'm saying right?!?!) as a pick-me-up.

And so I found this, only in a nice rust-orange color perfectly complementary to a few of my fall outfits (with a jacket of course). And it was marked down to something like $3.25! KA-ching! It was a large, which is the size I must go with since I do not even remotely resemble the model's body type.

Herein lies the body rant...and somewhat descriptive talk about my ubus. (So, really go away, you boy lurkers!)

I'm a 38B - which I've determined is the absolute hardest small-cup bra size to find. (Note the emphasis - I know there are women out there who go higher up the alphabet than D and those bras are tough to find too).

Not to mention that because I'm "little more than a handful" I should be able to wear a large shirt, given the width of my shoulders, arms, etc. And for the cami-type shirts that usually holds true, though sometimes I need to go with a medium b/c of inadequate ubu flesh. I find it difficult though, in the case of button down shirts. What my friends who are a 36 C++ can wear, I cannot, without the tacky gap in between buttons. When I go a size larger, my silhouette becomes frumpish, because, from the armpits down, I am swimming in excess material, even in fitted styles. So, I can either have a form, albeit with little peep shows running up and down my torso, or I can be completely covered and very non-shaped.

But back to the issue at hand....the tank. I put it on today, originally with a bra.

But, because

1. my bra showed thru the macrame; and
2. it had a shelf bra built in,

I quickly discarded the undergarment and put my tank on. With its built in handy dandy shelf bra. I then finished my outfit with my khaki sorta-blazer that I LOVE.

I determined that the total effect was beyond cute, and left the home feeling quite pleased this morning. Until.......

The shelf bra adeptly moved such that my girls were hanging out, which created a nice line across them (not!), and called for several readjustments thru the day. And, don't get me wrong, my boobs are nice and all, but it's not my thing to be constantly at them, you know? ;-) I am a girl after all, and not a boy.

The clothing rant is this - so my breasts are REALLY anti-BIG, yet a LARGE shirt doesn't cover them? Clothing manufacturers make no sense what. so. ever in the U.S..

Ok, cheap clothing manufacturers - after all we are talking Target, but we're also talking my budget.

I mean, what would a girl who is a C+ cup and yet two inches less in body circumference do? I'd think she'd be falling out more than me! But then, particularly with shelf-bra style tanks/camis, if you go a size too large, you may as well have NOTHING supporting the girls....KWIM?

I know...I know...all the uber savvy shoppers are going to tell me to quit wasting my time and leave Target for Anne Taylor. But that's a commitment I'm terrified to make. After all a bargain for $3.25 is pretty much unheard of there, right?

SADD

It's fall now

which means the earth has tilted

and things in life have, again, somehow

become very forced and stilted

Gone is the ease

of summer days

with its cool breeze

whispering through the sun's warm rays

Shadows form at all times

now that new angles dictate

from where exactly the sun must shine

And seeing new shadows cast, my heart anticipates:

Him being gone more

Kids driving me nuts

My sense of self flying out the door

Hearing more famililial "ifs" "ands" and "buts"

Holiday mania in all but me

A full planner with family events

Feeling like I'm on the outside looking in to see

Anxious about all the predetermined precedents

Yeah, it's September

And the earth has tilted

For as long as I can remember

Fall has come and made my life forced and stilted.

Having a Romans 7:15 Day

I'm fixated on something I shouldn't be.

And I have been mentally telling myself, "Get a GRIP, chica - this is the LORD'S day - not YOURS!"

I keep telling myself, "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

Only to fail at keeping this mental notion captive and submitted to the Lord.

So....now I've been accountable and 'fessed up - maybe that will help?
Second, will you pray for my thoughts?

So Much Fodder to Ponder

In other words....I'm a blog-a-holic, and just can't quit reading the thoughts of others.

Particularly when they interest me so profoundly!

There are the mommy-logues I read from mothers who write so damn well, like Chris, who candidly shares her perspectives/experiences from motherhood, ranging from the endless supply of groaners our kids give us, to who am I posts like this.

Then there are the bloggers I've known for awhile like L, Purple Kangaroo, and Heather. Or, my siblings - in which their blogs might be the only current insights I have of their lives.

And, then, the group I read so much of - the preacher guys!

Take my man Stoned-Campbell Disciple. His recent post is about the thoughts of many that the God of the OT and the God of the NT differ so vastly....and how he disagrees with that. I have to say that I agree with him. all. the. way.

Then, there's Mike Cope and his inquiry, "Does God Want You to be Rich?" Good thoughts there, and moreover, some REALLY interesting comments. Of course, they kinda pale in comparison to the STRONG sentiments aroused (pun absolutely intended, lol ) by all the Joe Beam-inspired sex talk.

Finally, there's Larry James, my new hero among the rest of us mere mortals. His post today about relief versus renewal with respect to social welfare issues leave me at a standing ovation up here in Colorado.

Here's a taste (emphasis mine):

The problem is, we often stall out at relief. We find it harder, sometimes impossible to take the next step or to move over into a new area of work when it comes to bringing long-term renewal to people who live in poverty....

Whereas, relief work can be exciting, straightforward, conveniently packaged and easily quantified (as in, "How many meals did we serve today, Fred?"), the work of renewal can be messy, hard, depressing, halting and not so easily measured as to effectiveness.

(Larry, I'll have you know, I e-mailed that post to several of my NPO friends 'round here.)

So really....how is a girl to get much done when there is so much GOOOOOD fodder to ponder???

There's a Huge Amount of Truth...

...in Rosie O'Donnell's recent claim that radical Christianity is just as threatening as radical Islam to our country.

Now, before my fellow brothers and sisters jump at me, let me explain my POV.

So called Christians like Jerry Falwall are hate mongers, simply put. And what does the Word of God say about that?

1John 2:4 - The man who says, "I know him," but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him

followed up by

1John2:9-11 - Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.

In my estimation, these folks are Christians in name only, and not at all what the Lord would have us model to the world. After all, how can someone profess Christ [and thus His teachings], read these kinds of passages in the Word, and then parade around with signs saying "God HATES fags?"

Applying the principle in the above passage looks to me something like:

God = light, love, etc.
A brother who hates people = stumbling in darkness = ungodly

So, if a brother who hates people = ungodly, it's not a huge leap to say that God ≠ hatred of people, right? And, it would make sense that per 1 John 2:4, if a person professing Christ but holding on to hatred is a liar, then they are bound to say false things like, "God HATES fags," right?

Never in the Bible does it say God hated, ever has, or ever will hate a PERSON. Just the contrary, according to John 3:16 and other key verses of the Bible. The same source of knowledge does say that God hates certain actions or mentalities, and in the OT, gives a course of action for people who transgress into those behaviors.

Which brings me to the next point I'd like to make. Adultery used to be a capital offense. Yet when Christ came to earth, He changed the rule-book. Take John 8:1-11. Instead of a step-by-step presentation indoctrinating the hows and whys this woman's sin was wrong and thus separated her from God, Jesus merely said, "Neither do I condemn you. Go and leave your life of sin." We find similar words spoken to the Samaritan woman.

People like Falwell have made homosexuality the "new" adultery (think 'Pink is the new Black') desiring the same castigation that adultery used to have as consequence, when in actuality, we should be focused on ourselves, not the doings and supposed shortcomings of others. I'm not without sin, EVER, so how can I EVEN begin to think I can judge someone else, regardless of the behavior/lifestyle/etc?

So, back to my original point. Rosie's statement. She's right, unfortunately. Moreover, these so-named radical Christians are a huge threat to Christianity in general, allowing Satan to add/delete to/from the gospel of Christ with people falling for it.

In fact, the only radical movement that wouldn't negatively affect America is a radical act of kindness movement. And, wouldn't it be something if Christians were the ones to implement it?

Some Things Do Work Out in the End

One of the women who was totally heinous to me during the count process is no longer with her agency.

This is BIG news to everyone who heard it - and the cause for rampant speculations on the behalf of us who were in the know with respect to her behavior toward me. No one knows whether this was a quit vs a fire situation; though had it been a planned quit, word would have gotten out, I'd think.

I have a rationalization all set up for the glee that this tidbit provided for me:

You see, "Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth," so on the mere possibility of someone seeing this chick's "true colors," which have nothing to do with helping the needy and everything to do with glorifying herself, my heart rejoiced - and it's scriptural!

That's said really tongue-in-cheek, folks - joke! I know it's not nice to rejoice over the demise of others, but if her demise = increasing services to the poor, well how can that be all bad?

Held Hostage

It seems a number of things have held me hostage of late,

• Family of Origin Difficulties
• Depression
• Financial Woes
• Et....Cetera.................................

So, it would make sense for it to show up in my dreams, or so I supposed this morning.

I am driving alone in the hilly countryside of my youth; it was clearly Washington with evergreens and rhodendenrons everywhere the eye could see - but in that dreamy "it-was-this-exact-thing-except-for..." sense, which became clear when the person of my dreams appeared.

As I walk into the unfamiliar house, my new friend from the FCPD is there, in uniform.

"Get down, there is a guy with a weapon hiding in here!" He tells me in a desperately quiet and gruff voice.

The weird thing was that there was no, "What are you doing here?" or anything of that nature, that and I wasn't surprised to see the boys in blue there, but hey it's a dream right?

Another officer shows up from within the house. He stands telling my friend that he is puzzled as to where this guy has gone.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the suspect behind officer #2.

At this point my dream became an out of body perspective.

My eyes grew wide, as I point and scream, "Behind you!" as the officer ducks down, he avoids the ambush of his attacker. The guy keeps going and before any of us knew it, he has me, gun to my head and everything.

I am outwardly calm, but my heart is throbbing in panic mode. The feelings of terror are all consuming as my buddy begins to negotiate with him. My eyes frantically beg him to be successful and get me out of this mess. My captor only grows more agitated, and I can see the worry in the eyes of the officers. This does not put me at ease. Things crescendo to a boiling point where my friend, seeing no other option, ends up shooting the man who has ahold of me.

Gratitude for my life and his courage to act fill my heart. Terror at the knowledge of how this all could have ended swells from within, and the sobbing starts. Uncontrollably.

My friend embraces me, and says, "Hey kiddo, you knew I had your back, right?" I nod, but I'm still crying.

Later, the captor's sister shows up and we speak briefly. Though I can't remember what about.

And right about there, the alarm clock went off this morning.

I can't really make sense of the dream, except for what I said above. Seems a stretch to me.

Anyone up for dream analysis?

Overheard from the backseat

A very smug LMNOB to little brother Punkinhead: "I'm smarter 'cuz I'm older [than you]!"

An indignant Punkinhead: "Nuh-UH! I smart too!"

LMNOB pushes that button just a bit more: "Nope, I'm smarter.." One could faintly hear the phantom taunt of nanny-nanny boo boo trailing after her insistence.

And just like that, Punkinhead ended the dialogue.

"No sistew, you'we BOH-WING!"

At which, I laughed, hard. LMNOB, the game of wits with your brother is ON.

More Colossians

This week, our group is studying Colossians 1:15-23:

The Supremacy of Christ
15He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. 17He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross. 21Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of[a] your evil behavior. 22But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— 23if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.

The questions are from a different discussion leader in our group, and are as follows:

1. Why is it important for you, like the Colossians, to be convinced of Jesus' all encompassing role in the creation and the sustaining of the world?

-- because collecting my thoughts is like crossing a tar-field, the only thing I can think of right now is that His role in the creation and sustenance of this world help me to rcognize the Divinity in Christ. I often relate well to the Humanity in Him, but seem to have difficulty grasping both his Divine nature and Human nature simultaneously. Clear as mud, right?
Edited to add: After our discussion Sunday night, it's also important to note that often we try to "contain" Christ to just the 30-some years he was on earth, but He has been since the beginning!

2. Why must Jesus have the supremacy?

--I'm assuming this means in our lives, as Christians. And, for me I'm saying Jesus must reign supreme or else our lives bear false testimony to the world on what it means to be in Christ. A lot of people think this is synonymous with sin-less living and thus impossible, but I don't think that's the point at all. I think if Christ is our foremost desire, and people are well aware of that, then even when we confess sin, Christ is apparent in our lives, via our willingness to become transparent and our desire for cleansing.

3. Why do we need to be reconciled to God?

-- Because He cannot live where there is sin, and there is sin in our lives, Something needed to reconcile us, because He longed to be together with us again.

4. What keeps us alienated from God?

--Sin, particularly undisclosed sin.

5. What will keep us holy in God's sight and free from accusation?

-- I think a tight relationship with our Abba is one of the foremost things we must pursue. Placing ourselves in environments conducive to spiritual growth and prohibitive of temptation helps us as we are weak. When we are strong, and I believe this is cyclic instead of progressive, we need to be out there helping our weaker neighbors. When we are weakened, I say it's time to retreat and focus on growing near to God. Free from accusation, means that there's not a chance God could misconstrue something in my life - which means I need to be clear on it too.

6. Give some specific examples of how you could continue in your faith, established and firm?

-- I think day to day living with the knoweldge and faith of what Christ has done for me is "continuing in my faith." Established and firm? Most of the time, though there are the times when I waver - as we all do. Basically I think that what I said above about the cycle of times of growth and times of service is how we get to where we can do that day to day living I talked of earlier. Attending church, regular study and prayer time, talking with my Christian friends and husband about my life, etc all help accomplish this.

7. What does it mean to "not be moved from the hope held out in the gospel?"

-- For me, I think concrete. I think this is remaining true to Christianity, and not embracing Buddhism, Confuciunism, or whatever the new age trend happens to be, when times get rough. I also think that it means always having heaven on our hearts, instead of going thru motions taken for granted.

I've got a Head Cold

Which explains part of why I'm feeling so crummy.

But the rest?

I'd say that it stems from the sick realization that it's happening again.

I've got that detached, sticky like a cobweb thinking that has me tired, distractable, and totally out of it.

Why?

Why can't I just have a clean, neat and tidy, CONTAINABLE episode of depression?

Why does it have to resurface and permeate every aspect of my life?

And, why, why do I have to be so damned aware of it?

Because, as soon as I become aware of the depression, I start to realize just how hard life is on everyone in my life. I wonder, am I that hard to live with? Many people with mood disorders don't even get that, but I do and it just plain sucks, kwim?

Why can't I be oblivious and blissfully ignorant?

What I'm about to say is extremely tongue-in-cheek:

I wish at times I could abandon reality and merely solve the world's problems by joining the church of Scientology, where I will become an expert on my own mental health issues, as well as the world over.

But.....then,



.....I'd be psychotic and not just depressed.


Gotta find some humor, eh?

5 Years Ago

MIL and I were in Idaho visiting Charlie Brown's Grandma Nina, with a 6 mos old LMNOB.

I'd wakened to her cries of the morning, my cue to feed her.

It was not yet 7:00AM.

Soon though, the phone rang. A neighbor of Grandma Nina's had called at this early hour to tell her of what was happening on the other side of the country; we tried to piece together what the neighbor was telling her as her face fell. As she turned the TV on to CNN, though, we realized.

We watched the television in terror as the towers crumbled.

I called Charlie Brown. We cried together.

As the days and weeks that followed 9/11, I cried for families who lost their loved ones.

And wondered, "Why?"

5 years hasn't changed that - and it still brings me to tears.

I need to make it a Blockbuster night

I already own one of my therapy movies, Riding in Cars with Boys, but I think I need a double feature and need to go check out The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.

Yes, I talked with my Mom. No, I don't think it went particularly well..............................

Studying Colossians

Our young marrieds life group thru church is going to start an in-depth study of Colossians tomorrow.

We will be looking at Ch. 1:1-14, with emphasis on vs. 10-14 [my concentrations]:

10And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, 11being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully 12giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. 13For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, 14in whom we have redemption,the forgiveness of sins.

Now that doesn't sound so bad, eh? I didn't think so.

The discussion questions, though, might be painful. [grimace]

1.) Re: V. 10 What do you envision a “life worthy of the Lord and pleasing Him in every way,” to be? For yourself and your personal talents, how do you see this coming about in your own life?

2.) Re: V. 10 What good works are going on in your lives that we, as a group, could pray about to bear good fruit in you?

3.) Re: V. 11 In what ways do you personally need to be “strengthened” in the knowledge of God, and for what situations in your life do you need “great endurance and patience” right now?

The questions are pretty personal, but ya know, the elder and wife combo in our group, plus Charlie Brown and I, as leadership, feel that our group has been pretty flaky and VERY superficial. If we are going to have growth as a community of believers, we gotta start getting real, and disclose the struggles, and eases - one person's ease is another person's encouragement, after all - in our lives. Besides, people can share as deeply or as shallowly as they want, all we ask for is audience participation, ya know?

We will be compiling the answers from our group into prayer requests to share amongst ourselves over the next few weeks, and I got to thinking, if ya'll as readers would like to join in, go for it, and I will share with our group for prayer!

Singing, "Love is something if you give it away [clap, clap], You've got to give it away, Give it away, Love is something if you give it away [clap, clap], You'll end up having more!"

Hey, sorry for the cheeseball in me, but it's what struck me - how easily we can - to quote my man Toby Mac - "spread this love like dandelions" with the help of different media.

So, gulp, now for my answers:

1.) Re: V. 10 What do you envision a “life worthy of the Lord and pleasing Him in every way,” to be?

Remember when teachers used to say, "You get an 'A for effort?'" I think the Lord works this way too. He's not out for perfection, just a good honest try on our parts. I think that the attempt to please Him is harder as we are immature in our faiths, but as we grow more mature, this attempt to please Him gets easier, I think?

For yourself and your personal talents, how do you see this coming about in your own life?

I'm really contemplating writing, as the Lord has blessed me with that ability. Sharing the work He's done in me, what He has to offer (EVERYTHING!), and just generally communicating with the world at large. I also think that the profession I've chosen - human services - particularly for the homeless, is a working compliment to my abilities to relate to people most people don't and the example Christ has set before us.

2.) Re: V. 10 What good works are going on in your lives that we, as a group, could pray about to bear good fruit in you?

I am planning on applying to the MPA program (actually, they STILL have my application from last year - miracle of miracles - and all I need to do is pay the $50 application fee before 10/15 for spring enrollment) and attend PT while working PT - all in an effort to further the causes I believe in - social justice for all, affordable health care, etc, etc. It's a big step, and I just pray that this is His will for me, and if not that He makes it abundantly clear!


3.) Re: V. 11 In what ways do you personally need to be “strengthened” in the knowledge of God, and for what situations in your life do you need “great endurance and patience” right now?

As always, I need to be prodded to be IN the Word of God more than I am. I feel like I get it really well when it comes to kingdom work, but maintaining my faith and getting closer to Him via prayer and study? Well, that's always a bit more difficult.

As for situations where I need great endurance and patience - there are a few:
- recently my brothers and I had words about my youngest brother stepping in to discipline my kids. My concern was the lack of age and incident appropriate discipline, as well as the overwhelming perception that his action was rooted more in anger vs. teaching disciplines.....and, I didn't communicate those concerns very calmly either whatsoever. Think "Mama Bear" meets the fiery temperament equated with the shade of my hair. Ugly's what it was :(

- I really feel like our church is under a significant spiritual attack, particularly our families/marriages. I feel like I need endurance as people confide various things in me, and patience - as well as wisdom - to know when/what to speak.

- And, add me to that last category specifically. During the last weeks of the count, I found myself very HAM-centric and not so God-centric in my interactions with Charlie Brown (and honestly, I think he's probably due for the SAME confession) - (the emphasis was to say that was about the only area in life where I was self-centered these past few months) and in so doing, found myself relating far more than I should with another man. Nothing illicit, just enough to make myself aware that I'm treading thin ice. I need endurance to withstand that ever so subtle temptation. And add to it that I flubbed our finances, yet. A G A I N; while Charlie Brown has been patient, there is still MORE strain. We need to re-connect and endure this valley as we climb out of it, only to summit another peak experience in our marriage. Knowing that is 3/4 of the battle - add the prayers of ya'll plus our group's to it, and well, we've practically got it made, eh?

Well folks, that's me, and do I feel better! - whatsabout you's?

Seeing God - is Hindsight the only Way?

This is not a new topic for me, evidenced here, but as I close out this homeless count business and reflect - it can't help but come up.

Last year in, oh February, March even?, I was at a crossroads and trying to figure out what I really wanted to do with life, vocationally. I discovered the RMPA program at CU-Denver and my intrigue went through the roof. After all, here is a program with focuses in 1.) local government, and 2.) non-profit orgs. Seeing how I work in both worlds (job description here) I thought it would be perfect....And the City has a tuition assistance program, so it would be doable, right?

I took the GRE, (oh, and by the way, if you ever get to feeling too big for your britches, this 4 hour long test in a very user unfriendly modality will take you down a few of the necessary pegs....and more) and when the computer showed my scores (540 verbal 560 math), I burst into tears. On a 1600 point scale, much like the old SAT - on which I'd scored somewhere in the mid 1400s, I hadn't even gotten a 75%! Now I know that standardized tests don't work that way, and instead go by percentiles of score clusters. But, still!

Silly me, though. After talking to the school contact for the program, I was assured that not only did I not waste the $150 to take the test, I would in fact be an "asset to the program," given my work experience/status.

So, I collected everything, letters of recommendation, official transcripts from CSU, etc. and submitted my application. The only thing I didn't have was the $50 application fee - but, I told myself, I'd get that in before the deadline. Or not. And what's worse, is I can't exactly put my finger on why we didn't scrounge up the $50. But life goes on.

Then, last October, was the healthcare crisis mentioned above - which sent me searching for gainful employment, with affordable healthcare. Despite several positions I went after that everyone was sure I was perfect for, none offered anything. And, oh, how I cried.

You see, I'd lost sight of the faith I had that God would hear my prayers to "match me with the job God had planned for me."

But, as I sit on the tail end of this project, it all becomes so clear - as it often does when the here and the now aren't in the middle, mucking up the picture. I wrote this in an e-mail yesterday to sum it up:

This project reminded me of how much I missed direct involvement with
the community – as so much of what I do now is paper pushing. I’ve been
eyeing the Online MPA program at UCD for about 18 mos now – it’s thru the GSPA, and when I found out their involvement with the project, I took that as a
sign. I took the GRE last May, anticipating fall 2005 enrollment, but
something held me back (I turned all but the $50 application fee in).
Then, in October, when the City changed health insurace policies, such that PT
employees with dependents basically had a mortgage payment deducted
for health insurance, I began seeking new employment - and searched to no
avail (despite several jobs everyone thought I'd be perfect for) In hindsight,
had I been taking classes and working PT (as I intend to keep doing) I would
never have accepted the coordinator position and would not have been
involved. And again, had I gotten a job somewhere else, I never would have
been involved. Funny when you can practically see the divine intervention
in hindsight but not at all in the moment, eh?

To say I know exactly what the next steps are would be not only arrogant of me, but pretty false too. I did contact the school today to reacquaint myself - and discovered that the spring admission deadline is Oct. 15th. The woman who'd taken over the program seemed extremely interested, and more than accommodating.

I don't know what exactly is in store, but here's what I told the school:

Nevertheless, through the process, [of the homeless count] I rediscovered the barriers and redundancies in “the system” of public and human service agencies – which was, coincidentally, why I left the direct services field in the first place – not because of the “clients” but because of the bureaucracy.
I have a vision, a vision that includes a better place for all of my community members, not just those who are economically privileged. But, it requires change.
Change in times of budget cuts and economic hardship is hard to implement – but
I think the change I envision (more cooperation and collaboration) is more cost
effective in the long run – not to mention likely to have better success rates
among service recipients.

Just keep praying - will ya?

-----------------------------------------------------
In the meantime, check out this nice message, sent to me from the Colorado Division of Housing:

August 31, 2006

Dear Heather,

What can I say?!! You were the vanguard of this
homeless count - leading the way for all counties! Your diligence,
participation, questions, media releases, and promotion of the count were
critical to all of us.

Thanks for all of your time and attention to detail.
Thanks for your patience and persistence. Most of all, thanks for your
quality!

Best Regards,

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Awww, she made my day, for sure. I wasn't sure if I was being a thorn in the State's side (I was very vocal on the wording of the survey instrument, inclusion of those in permanent supportive housing for homeless persons in the "homeless" umbrella, and other things) or if it would be appreciated.

Apparently, for this woman anyway, it was the latter.

Survey says.................

The surveys are in, and what an overwhelming response we had here in Larimer County! We are looking at 578 surveys to date, with all agencies and volunteers accounted for. This was all made possible by the outstanding volunteers and agency staffs, businesses, and dedicated reporters who participated in this effort – it couldn’t have been done without them.

United Way-211 deserves recognition as a key helper to this project. Their agency provided 300 t-shirts for incentive bags, hygiene items, and the idea to use the Food Bank for snack foods in the incentive bags. They also referred callers to survey locations on the day of the count. In addition, the Bolton family, formerly with Wingshadow, generously donated hundreds of travel size toiletries for the incentive bags.

Both Wal-Mart and Super Wal-Mart in Fort Collins contributed financially, totaling $150 in gift cards with which we were able to provide to our homeless volunteers a little something for their help, as well as the homeless families staying in the shelters. We also gave the King Soopers certificates from St. Joe's to our homeless helpers for their assistance with the outreach. Wild Oats contributed a generous amount of granola bars to supplement the food in our incentive bags. Finally, the generous workers in the shop at Dellenbach Subaru, came up with a cash pool, giving me $50, just the amount needed to ensure all the goodie bags had shampoo in them when we ran out.

On Monday, August 28th, 50 volunteers went into the community to do street outreach in Loveland and Fort Collins. We were unable to garner the volunteer force and/or interest to have outreach done in Estes Park, Berthoud, as well as the more remote parts of the County. It was anticipated that the homeless in the more remote areas of the County usually are not keen on being approached by governmental workers, volunteer or no. Despite this, we collected 154 surveys between the emergency shelters (Crossroads, Catholic Charities, the Open Door Mission, and Interfaith Hospitality Network) and outreach efforts. A very special thank you to Robin Ezequelle, Ricky Kidd, and John Cordova, who were able to arrange a pre-determined homeless gathering with little more than word of mouth, and conduct 49 surveys!

On Tuesday, August 29th, we had nearly 30 different agencies participate in the count, bringing in a whopping 424 surveys. These staff members all work so hard at providing vital services to our community members, and for them to take on the burden of the surveys was so awesome, just further proving their dedication to the public.

The Fort Collins Police Department and Larimer County Sheriff’s Department were invaluable to the process, specifically Officer Bud Bredehoft and Sergeant Gerry Baker.

Barriers to the process did present themselves.

If there are future endeavors of this magnitude, the following would be helpful:

* Regional trainings no closer than 6 weeks from the process. Region 2’s training was on July 28th, and had it been earlier, I could have had more time between my final training to my community and arranging all the logistics.

* Instead of pages of FAQ’s e-mailed out as a means of communication from the state coordinator, an e-mail noting specifically any deviations from procedure/gray areas would be helpful. (This is in reference to the DV agencies being told to turn their surveys into CCADV vs. their County Coordinators)

* Timing of the Count – because school just started prior to the Count, the homeless liaisons in our school districts were not connected to the process, despite repeated efforts to communicate. Perhaps a summer count that is just after school lets out instead of just before it starts?

* It was surprising to me the level of advocating and educating that was required for me to provide to the agencies; some of the more reluctant agencies are very much involved with our homeless population. I would definitely take that into consideration for planning purposes, and ask for some general talking points be developed at the state level (i.e. LCMH receives Super NOFA funding in a substantial amount, but as you know these funds barely made it to CO this year – therefore it would be in the agency’s best interest to participate.).

* Best practices for surveying at motels which are known to be occupied by homeless persons. We didn’t get a motel count done, simply because procedures are unknown and awkward at best.

* Fiscal resources with a quicker reimbursement turnaround. Counties outside of the metro area just don’t have the resources metro area providers do, and to hold up on mileage reimbursements and other expenses is a barrier to effective buy-in.

All in all, though, we have more than we could have hoped for – even if it is an undercount, it’s a better idea than we had before.

Experiences from the Count

As demanded by many, just note that this is merely touching the tip of the iceberg.

---

Monday night, I had 50 volunteers ready to go out into the two major cities of our county. FYI, our cities are suburb size, but there is no major urban metropolis of which we suburb off of immediately nearby.

We all met at a church by my house where goodie bags that had t-shirts, snack foods and hygiene items, were distributed, as well as name tags, pens, and surveys.

I would be remiss if I didn't talk about the goodie bags here.

----

Earlier in the summer, I developed a donor letter, explaining the count's methodology and purpose, why I would like to have donations for incentives, and the fact that since United Way was our fiscal agent, all donations would be tax deductible. I sent the letters out to all of the chambers of commerce in our county with the request to pass them along, via e-mail, to all their business members. That turned up nothing.

I dropped a hard copy of the letter off with the Super Wal-Mart, and they answered with $50 in $10 gift cards. A friend of mine from Ft. Collins Habitat for Humanity schmoozed $100 in gift cards from the ordinary Wal-Mart, and something like $25 in granola bars from Wild Oats. Sister Mary Alice gave me a couple of $25 gift certificates to King Soopers for the homeless persons helping survey, saying, "Someone had been very generous earlier this month, and you can have these." I had known that there would be 4 homeless persons going out, helping lend buy-in as surveyors sought willing respondents, later that number increased to 5. So all of them who helped received $10 for Wal-Mart, and about the same for King Soopers. I wish it could've been more...

But the shirts came from 211, a non-profit agency that gives information and referral to anyone who calls in, on everything under the sun, including volunteer opportunities. Yes, a woman from 211 called and told me that they had boxes of t-shirts from old Make-A-Difference-Day events, and since they were dated, I was welcome to have them for the bags. I of course took them, and had close to 300 shirts when all was said and done. She also gave me some travel toothpaste/toothbrush packs that numbered about 150 in all.

The food came from the Food Bank of Larimer County, but the idea for that came from the lady with 211. You see, my contract was administered by United Way, and 211 is within United Way's umbrella as well. She thought we could purchase food from the Food Bank as an agency, and be able to get a super amount of food for as little as $10. I had $ in my contract for expenses, so we cleared it with the powers that be, and purchased a CAR LOAD of cereal bars, crackers, chips, and granola bars for $10.98 from the Food Bank, and the invoice is paid out of my expense allowance. We were able to put a granola bar, cereal bar, chips, crackers, and some 100 calorie snack packs into each bag - for 250 people!

The hygiene items came from a family who works with homeless youth in our community. Travel size shampoos and conditioners, soaps, combs, brushes...in every bag.

Finally there was a collection that Seth initiated at his shop, since the owners of the dealership didn't see my cause as donation-worthy (The MS Walk that weekend, however, they put at least $5k into). And the blue collar boys came up with $50 to supplement the hygiene items (which ran short).

All of these came from people who had to find something to give, and yet they did. Abundantly. It touched me very deeply and reminded me of the parable of the widow who gave her last two coins.

----

So back to the church. I blubbered, having run around all day, dropping surveys off to agencies who couldn't afford to make copies, having run into volunteers who bailed at the last minute, and still unsure how the next day would go. I apologized for the disorganization and chaos - It was so out of my comfort zone. Everyone assured me it was going fine, but my emotional dam broke when Seth showed up with the kids and my brother, who was watching them that night while we went out.

I ran over and hugged my babies - I'd thought for some reason that Seth would just drop them off at the house and I wouldn't get to see them that night.

So, people loaded up the bags, surveys and other necessaries, met with their respective team leaders and we were off.

----

My team consisted of:

Myself

Seth

A Sergeant with the Larimer County Sheriff

3 volunteers from my church

A reporter for the Collegian (CSU paper - that was a nightmare, more on that later)

A community volunteer I'd gotten to be friends with

The young lady interning with my office this semester

(And a partridge in a pear tree!)

We walked the bike trail north and east of Old Town all together. Sgt. showed us the difference btwn and old camp and an existing camp. At the ones that were clearly being used currently, we left goodie bags, in which I placed a note:

Enjoy the goodies - wish it could be so much more.
______________ xxx-xxxx (my name and work number)
Colorado Statewide Homeless Count, 8/28/2006

We counted 15 existing camps, mostly single person get-ups, but some of them were inhabited by two.

We came up off the trail near an industrial part of old town, not far from the Open Door Mission. As we came up, we saw a young woman walking with several bags. I departed from the group to approach her.

She wasn't interested, she said. Her eyes were so filled with sadness. I thanked her, and let her be.

Because we had 9 people on our team, we divided into 3 groups of 3. I was with Seth and my intern.

We saw a crowd of guys hanging around the tatoo parlor, with a little girl probably aged 8? I approached them as Seth and the intern hung back and watched.

"Hey guys, how's it going?"

"It's all good."

"Listen, I'm doing a survey on homelessness for folks that either are or could be at risk of becoming homeless - would you like to help me?"

"Awww man, do we look that bad?!" laughed the bald, alpha male of the pack. "None of us is homeless, but we got some friends down at the Catholic mission, might go ask them."

I smiled, and said, "Hey, please don't take offense, we're shooting at the dark here, just approaching random folks - ya'll look fine! As for the mission, we've got a team down there, so your friends will get counted."

"So, you guys students or something?"

I told him no, and briefly how I got involved and what we were trying to do, mainly that I used to do street outreach for the mental health center, and was asked to head up this count because of it. I asked if any of them were having difficulties with rent or anything, because people who were being evicted are "technically" homeless.

Alpha male said, "Nah, we're all good for now, but I need to find a roomate, rent's coming up again next week."

I wished him luck, knowing that these guys were on the fringe. Then, "Hey, I know you're not gonna do the survey, but if it's ok with you, I'd like to give your little girl one of our goodie bags - they've got some snack food in them, and then a shirt and some little travel soaps/shampoos, you know stuff little girls love," I winked with a smile at this precious child who suddenly grew excited at the prospect of a gift, no matter how simple.

"Sure," he said, and then, as I handed the bag to the little girl, he laughed and teased her, saying, "I get the chips."

We all shook hands and I felt good for the contact. And relieved, knowing that a child who may not have had supper, got to have something semi-nutritious to fill her belly until morning when she was apt to be fed at school.

We rounded the alley and in time spotted 3 of our larger team members behind the downtown Safeway.

We checked in, and reported it being slow going. They said they'd approached a man across the street (hidden from my view) behind the Safeway dumpster, but he was really angry at the government and he'd vehemently refused to do the survey. While we talked, a man who was clearly homeless (bedroll and bags) walked by and down the block. I told the group we'd go follow up with him.

But first, I walked over to the shopping cart by the dumpster, placed a bag in the cart, and tried to throw my voice to the right over the industrial dumpster, "Sir? Hey sir, I know you didn't want to do the survey, and that's totally a-ok. I just wanted to leave this bag for you - it's got a shirt and some food, plus some soap stuffs in it. It's just for you, and no strings attached. You don't need to talk to me to claim it, I'm just gonna leave it right here in the cart - ok?"

Gruffly, from the left and behind me, a voice said, "He's not gonna come out."

Startled, I turned to see the man the others had described. "Oh, so there're two of you behind here? I'm sorry, I didn't see you. Would you like a bag too?"

Just as gruffly, "I'm not homeless!"

I smiled, "That's fine sir, we've got more than we seem to need. And like your friend, you won't have to do the survey, you can just have it."

"No thanks."

"Ok, well, I need to get going. Thanks, man."

I walked back over to the two groups, and said, "OMylanta - my heart about jumped out of my chest when he came up behind me!" To the 3 from the other group, "You didn't tell me there were TWO!"

They didn't know there were two, and besides, they had my back - or so I was told ;-)

So I grabbed Seth and the intern and went to go follow up with the guy we'd seen. There he was sitting on a bench on the sidewalk.

"How's it going this evening, sir?"

"Purty good, girl, now whatcha up to?" he slurred. He's pretty well lit you know.

"You're pretty quick," I said with a wink. "Well, my friends and I are doing surveys for the statewide homeless count that's going on tonight, and I wondered if we could take a few minutes of your time and go over the survey. Everything is completely private and cannot be traced back to you. Whaddya say, huh?"

"Girl, wha's 'is about?"

"Well, we're trying to figure out how many homeless people we've got in the state and what their needs are so that we can offer better services to them. You don't have to do this if you don't want. I've got a goodie bag that I'm going to give you, whether you do the survey or not."

"'ere's too many snot nosed people out there trying to figure out homelessness. If dey really want ta know, dey need to walk a mile in my shoes instead of come at me with papers and a clipboard!"

"Hey, that's fair enough. I know what you mean about the whole "rich kids going slummin'" phenomenon, and you're right, it's all about them when it's that way."

I could see the bristles going down, so I crouched down and said, "I don't know if you read the paper much, but awhile back there was an article on me and this project. I was homeless as a kid, and I know the disrespect that comes. I never had it so bad that we didn't have a roof over us, but it wasn't home, you know? Besides, see my teeth?" I flashed him my toothy grin, "they're not exactly the teeth of a privileged kid."

He turned, slowly looked me in the eye, and said, "So....you're her."

I laughed, saying, "Well I gotta tell ya, between you and my 5 y/o daughter, I'm starting to get a big head what with all the fame! Whaddya say, you gonna take the survey for me?" Smile.

He returned the smile. "Sure, I'll take your survey."

We began. When he uttered E-L-W for the first three letters of his last name, I smiled and asked, "Like Elway? You a football fan, man?"

He got an impish look on his face, and said, "Nah, but I dated his niece!" and laughed so hard I knew he was joking.

I nodded, "Sure you did, man."

When he answered that he'd been in the military, I responded. "I'd be remiss if I didn't tell you how much that means to me. I've a great respect for anyone who's worked to protect this country, in peace times or war."

We continued. When I asked him where he'd stay the night that night, he was brutally honest, "Detox, if I keep goin' the way I am. Else ways, I'll be by the tracks."

"Hey man, you're being honest with me, and I appreciate that." Smile. "Do you mind if I move your drink and sit here on the retaining wall? My legs are tired of crouching."

"Girl, you can sit anywhere you'd like." Smile and a laugh.

He'd been homeless for 20 years, since his military discharge in 1986. It made me wonder what had happened to him that made him handicapped from being a functional person in society upon his return to civilian status. Booze, from all outward appearances, but what were the drinks chasing away for him? Trauma of sorts? Mental illness? Both?

When asked why he became homeless, his volunteered response was, "My choice - sorta, I don't keep appointments when they're made, and mostly that's my fault." Topping that, housing costs and low wages kept him boxed out of housing.

At the last question, asking what services had he attempted to access but couldn't obtain, he verbally offered up "respect," as the number one thing he wanted but couldn't get.

I showed him the paper, and said, "Look, I want you to see me write that down. I think it's very important that the state know this is important to you. What about the rest of these, housing, job assistance, clothing....?"

I thanked him for his time, introduced him to Seth and the intern. We all shook hands, gave him his goodie bag, and we wished him well.

As we walked the perimeter of the store, the intern started dumping praises and "I'm not worthy-s" on me about how well I interacted with him. I started to demur and dismiss, but Seth would have none of it, "Honey, she's right. That's your calling - you were amazing to watch."

Alright, guys, I told them, if I were to accept it, then they needed to stop, because they were embarrassing me. We crossed over the intersection to head up north on the west side of the street we'd just been on. Shortly after, Seth directed us to look across the street. Our guy had already put on the t-shirt in his goodie bag.

"We just made his night didn't we?" Seth asked incredulously.

I nodded, misty-eyed. "He may not remember it tomorrow, but for a few minutes tonight he was reminded that he matters."

The power of that moment has been residing in me the entire week.

Later we met up with all of our original team-mates, and my new FCPD officer friend - who was a tremendous resource to me through the whole project, personally and professionally. We all kind of debriefed with each other. Mr. Officer and Sgt. Sheriff talked with the group about the homeless in our area - which was educational for them all. Their lives are changed, I hope. I know mine is, being reminded of my passion for these people.

----

Later, Seth told me, "That's your work, HAM. You had a connection with everyone of those people, even though you hadn't met before. Even you and that cop had a connection, you spoke each other's language." A language of love, compassion, and acceptance toward people who don’t always get that from the rest of society.

Instead of dismissing this sort of intimate praise – which is my tendency – I gratefully took it this time. Speaking this language is my gift and purpose in life – and I fully intend to speak it often and loud enough for the world to hear.

[As I sent this out with real names to my volunteers/agencies, this was for them:]

Thank you all for your participation, either in learning the language, or teaching it to others. This project was not my work, but our work.

Yeah....now I need to figure out how to get back in that world, permanently. My job with the city, while I love the people I work with, is too far removed from the people who really need it for me.