Who is my Euro Friend here?

I have a feeling that you tried to tell me in a June comment, but see my first post today - and even checking that link out - I still don't know! Where do I know you from??

(hint - you can e-mail me if you dig a bit in the links on my sidebar)

To Say or Not to Say?

That has been the question this week. As of tomorrow, I'll have fully heeded my preacher's advice to wait a week before replying to the church vs. tax program dude at my church.

It's been a week of prayer, and study. And definitely an exercise in delayed gratification.

As indicated by my lengthy e-mail and then my even more prolific commentaries here, I've a bit to say on the matter at hand.

Well, truth be told, I've a bit to say on all matters at hand, but that's not the point, right?

One of the things that came to the forefront of my mind was a conversation I had with, none other than, Mr. Intelligent, Politically Savvy man from other recent posts about a year ago. In this conversation, we were talking about the whole PC movement, and he said (rough paraphrase - it was after all, more than 12 mos ago), "I get so sick and tired of [Christian] people clinging to love as an excuse for not having any standards - I mean, if something is wrong, it's wrong! The same Jesus who loved everyone also called a group of men a brood of vipers. That's not mincing words, or worrying about who's going to be offended or not."

At the time, I was a little less confident, a little more new to the world of Affordable Housing/CDBG, and still pretty elementary in my Bible wisdom (that's SO the wrong word!) understanding. Not to mention that while I've never been made to feel inferior to the men at my church, it seems like women are tacitly discouraged from directly dialoguing (is that a word) with men about our faiths separate and apart from our homes and class settings. So, it made an impression, but soon got tabled and tucked away in the cobwebs of my mind.

Funny though, that Matthew 12 ought to come up in my mind in reference to Mr. Church Vs. Tax programs man. Let's read:

Matthew 12
Lord of the Sabbath
1At that time Jesus went through the grainfields on the Sabbath. His disciples were hungry and began to pick some heads of grain and eat them. 2When the Pharisees saw this, they said to him, "Look! Your disciples are doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath."
3He answered, "Haven't you read what David did when he and his companions were hungry? 4He entered the house of God, and he and his companions ate the consecrated bread—which was not lawful for them to do, but only for the priests. 5Or haven't you read in the Law that on the Sabbath the priests in the temple desecrate the day and yet are innocent? 6I tell you that one[a] greater than the temple is here. 7If you had known what these words mean, 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice,'[b] you would not have condemned the innocent. 8For the Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath."
9Going on from that place, he went into their synagogue, 10and a man with a shriveled hand was there. Looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, they asked him, "Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?"
11He said to them, "If any of you has a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out? 12How much more valuable is a man than a sheep! Therefore it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath."
13Then he said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." So he stretched it out and it was completely restored, just as sound as the other. 14But the Pharisees went out and plotted how they might kill Jesus.

God's Chosen Servant
15Aware of this, Jesus withdrew from that place. Many followed him, and he healed all their sick, 16warning them not to tell who he was. 17This was to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet Isaiah:

18"Here is my servant whom I have chosen,

the one I love, in whom I delight;
I will put my Spirit on him,
and he will proclaim justice to the nations.
19He will not quarrel or cry out;
no one will hear his voice in the streets.
20A bruised reed he will not break,
and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out,
till he leads justice to victory.
21In his name the nations will put their
hope."[c]

Jesus and Beelzebub
22Then they brought him a demon-possessed man who was blind and mute, and Jesus healed him, so that he could both talk and see. 23All the people were astonished and said, "Could this be the Son of David?"
24But when the Pharisees heard this, they said, "It is only by Beelzebub,[d] the prince of demons, that this fellow drives out demons."

25Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, "Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand. 26If Satan drives out Satan, he is divided against himself. How then can his kingdom stand? 27And if I drive out demons by Beelzebub, by whom do your people drive them out? So then, they will be your judges. 28But if I drive out demons by the Spirit of God, then the kingdom of God has come upon you.
29"Or again, how can anyone enter a strong man's house and carry off his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man? Then he can rob his house.
30"He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters. 31And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. 32Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.
33"Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. 34You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. 35The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. 36But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. 37For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned."

First, now that I have considered it - Mr. Intelligent - your point is only 1/2 valid, the way I see it. In this context, Jesus would have had the Pharisees be more lax with the Law and pile on the Love in accordance to God's will. No, He didn't mince words, but that's because they should have known better as people professing to be God's own. Jesus never spoke this harshly to the "apparent" sinners (in quotes b/c we should ALL be apparent sinners, but I'm trying to make a point here ;-)) - i.e. see His response to the Samaritan woman at the well, and the lack of hellfire and brimstone - only a confirmation of things to come. So, my deduction is that we as Christians should follow Christ's example and speak harshly only when needed - when those who should know better, act more hateful instead.

After coming to such a conclusion I figured that this recovered memory was all the relevance this passage had to my here and now dilemma. But, as is all too often the case - I was wrong. There was more to glean.

A few people told me to just let this guy with the commentary go peacefully, to let the water roll off my back because I couldn't change him. And, I almost bought that.

But then, as I considered this passage longer, it became clear to me: Jesus knew, with a certainty that only God can, that the Pharisees would NOT change their minds with respect to His teachings, yet still He tried, repeatedly and in earnest, to try and make them see God's not about a moral checklist of rights and wrongs - He's about LOVE! If that's the model my Lord has put before me, then it's crystal clear that I must carry on with this man in love.

As discouraging as his initial reaction was for me - this man's comment has brought me closer to the Lord. Kind of my own personal meaning to Paul's bits on rejoicing during struggles. It's amazing to me how dead right Scripture proves to be....in everything.

Thanks for the prayers, folks - it has helped :)

Add a new trait to my longwinded list above:

Technically Retarded

(btw, I mean no offense to anyone who has a developmental delay - I hate the word retarded within that context - I mean it in the sense of ridiculously obtuse!)


Here I've been writing and writing, linking to new blogs, etc....wondering, where the heck is the LOVE, people??!!?! since I have NO comments.....

Somebody I know, not on blogger, commented how she can't leave a comment, and after a half a second of tech detective - I have comment moderation in effect and 22 comments have been left totally unbeknownst to me - dating back since mid June! Don't even get me going on how that's possible (dit en francais so that you get just how nerdy my tone is)! So now that my inbox has been bombarded with all of your supports - please excuse me if it takes awhile....did anyone here see that South Park episode re: Mormons? (This is by no means reflective of my feelings of that religion) But that "dum-dum-dum" song just cruised through my head....that and the other standby, Homer's, "I am so smart S-M-R-T."

Totally retarded.....yup that's me.

The Fortune Cookie Said it All....

Some dear friends of ours are back from England - after a year's absence from the Fort. This man married me to my beloved Charlie Brown - very dear friends, indeed.

Wednesday night, they caused an excited eruption of cheering, applause and a chorus of, "We've MISSED YOU's," by showing up on the sly to our church's Wednesday Family Night. After the family activity, we talked at length about the past year's happenings, both here and there, with intonations wildly fluctuating, percussive laughter, and manic speeds, trying to get it all caught up at once....until,

"Mommy," big yawn, "I not tired." Punkinhead's valiant effort at discreetly telling us, "You talk too much," was much more transparent to us than it was to him.

At which, I sought a way to continue this mad dash to catching up:

"I know you've got million things to do - but we'd love to hear more - lunch on Sunday?"

Fast forward to today. What a lovely day - more on the specifics of this memorable Lord's day later.

Wednesday night seemed to repeat itself after church this morning - which was to be expected, eh? Still, my tummy grumbled furiously as the extended reunion played on. :) Eventually, we closed the doors of the church, and headed to the restaurant.

On the way, I approached Charlie Brown with a stirring I've felt ever growing this past year:

Honey, you know that our marriage has grown considerably in the past two years, but even more so this year. You know how awesome that is to me, right? Know how Elder X said today that they were meeting with various ministers/deacons and wanted to get concrete ideas of where our church was going? They mentioned missions, and the teens, and the youth - but hon, they forgot a group that's been hit hard this year: the marrieds (note, I removed the "young" because it's so generic and limiting!).

Yeah, I caught that too.

Well, I think it's because the people who were interested in that have burnt out, or have been dealing with their own issues - and in the meantime, Satan's been at work. Honey, I think we should propose to the elders that we can and will step up to the plate by leading the marrieds ministry. We've got to not only feed the new people what they need, but help grow people past what they're getting now - and above all protect the work of Jesus in our body!

Amen - well sorta, he didn't say those words but he did quietly agree.

In my tend-to-discount-positivity-if-it's-anything-less-than-glowing-acceptance fashion, I let it sit for awhile.

Later at lunch, which was the ever yummy Hunan, we opened our fortune cookies, and read them aloud. Trainer girlfriend had a funny one, b/c she always says this to her sons: "After every downhill there is an uphill." Charlie Brown had a really dumb "fortune," as it was more a command - "Relax and have fun." Who writes these anyway??? They are often comical, if not plain common sensical - where's the fortune in that?

When we got to mine, "Present your best ideas today to an eager and welcoming audience," I was met with an expectant, "well?" Before I could respond, Charlie Brown did.

"She's already done that today - tell them what you told me in the car."

Really?!? Really, you want to do this enough to tell people who will hold us accountable to it??!?

It felt akin to the way I felt when he asked me when we were going to make LMNOB a sibling. A commitment like this gives way to a new life - and I'm almost teary-eyed sitting here reliving that moment, and pondering the possibility of creating a life-saving ministry with my two greatest loves: the Lord and my husband.

Upon asking him that with my eyes, and seeing the subsequent nod - I repeated to our couple friends what I'd told him in the car.

Next? A proposal to the elders I suppose. Keep us in your prayers - and bind Satan from robbing any joy - yours, mine, theirs in the church. He's taken more than his fair share already.

Oh Punkinhead - how I love you!

The boy is cheeks-hurt-so-bad-from-giggling funny. As a reminder, he's recently reached 3 yrs of age.

The other day, he was going potty and I left the room for a sec. Come back and there's a puddle on the floor - the boy has got the knack for peeing at a convoluted angle, in which the stream of urine slips just thru the crevice where the seat and toilet bowl meet. (No, he does not pee standing up or on a stool - he sits, and he will sit until he's tall enough to clear the top of the lid on his own!)

I grabbed a wipe and said, "Hey buddy, how come you didn't point it down like you usually do? It's ok, but babe, you know how to do it - ok?"

Matter of factly he answered, "Oh Mama, swowwy 'bout dat - da dahned pee-niss made me do it!"

Oh, son - that's likely not the last time you'll feel that sentiment - least that's what your Daddy tells me!

Boys are definitely different creatures - and I wonder if that's what makes the mother-son connection so sweet: the ability to see the thought process evolve from infantile to the cave man behaviors resembling their fathers? After all, with their daddies, we mothers only (usually) see the end cave man result, and watching our boys grow gives us otherwise hidden and often invaluable insights.

Later that same night, Punkinhead attempted to "shoot" me with sound effects and strategic manipulations of his pee-niss.

I was informed, "It's a gun Mom - it shoot!"

At which point, I chuckled and whipped the Pull-Up on him, thinking, Boy, if you only knew.

Someday...

I wanna write Oprah and the following artists, and create a CD where all the profits went toward social justice efforts and awareness.

I'd call it, "Angry Women of Faith,"

It'd include:
Natalie Grant: Live For Today
SuperChik : Me Against the World
Choral renderings of
"Does He Still Feel the Nails?"
"Every Time I Kneel to Pray" - for that gut wrenching line - "Every time I see a child, I know the gentleness of my Lord," - when heard in a mindset where I'm thinking of poverty - it eats me alive.
"Make me a Servant"
"Pierce my Ear"
Aretha Franklin: Respect
Sheryl Crow: If it Makes You Happy
Plumb: Better
Jennifer Knapp: Hold me Now
Martina McBride: Love's the Only House, and/or Concrete Angel
and more...

Folks, does this sound like it would be doable? Amen?

*******Edited to add that impulsive me just sent this on to Ms. Grant's management team. Hey, it worked before when I e-mailed Fred Stoeker and got put in Every Heart Restored....

In the words of Natalie Grant...

I'm gonna lii-ve for to-day-ay
I'm gonna follow in Your Way
I'm-gonna-let-my-little-light-shine
Like there's no tomorrow....

This catchy, edgy little anthem of a song was my mantra yesterday. I had to consciously remind myself that no one can take away my desire to be a strong light for my Savior.

What happened that rocked you so hard?

Good question. Sunday, I got up before the congregation with our minister and we did a little interview-type presentation for the Statewide Homeless Count, particularly my coordination of the Larimer County efforts. Yeah, I know, I let my location slip - I figure all the anonymity I've tried to secure in this little blog is kind of a vain effort now that I've been published in a couple different newspapers. Nevertheless folks, I have to say that was a nervewracking experience.

It kind of reminded me of when I was a little girl, tucked inside my room, belting out my favorite songs on the radio/cassette player. I was always fine and confident of my vocal qualities in private, or say, with 50 other choral students surrounding me. But, the minute my mother/father/any other esteemed relative intruded upon my melodic solitude, I was no longer confident enough to sing with gusto, at maximum lung capacity, and shrunk like a shy, quiet violet from my love of performing. Re: my abilities and passions, fear of judgment from the ones who really matter has always had a stronghold over me.

Likewise, I can do public speaking, and do it often for work, and do it well - at least that's what I'm told. But there I was, standing before a mixed audience, with mixed views on social justice, all family members that I love and respect, and the terror entered in. My stomach knotted up, I felt short of breath, and I know I talked too rapidly - or at least it felt that way. I looked into my minister's kind and assuring brown eyes as we continued our dialogue, but I wanted down! Now, next month I have to speak 8 times to a bazillion different people - but I'm not yoked with them, and I'm eager, confident, and very excited about such a great opportunity.

In the end, I did ok, but failed to address THE key point: what is the purpose of a statewide count? Charlie Brown jokingly accused me of being a politician, and totally skirting the question.

In true-to-me digital afficianado fashion, I sent an e-mail out to our members-list:

Hi family,
My husband oh so lovingly informed me that I failed to answer a key question yesterday, and upon thinking about it, I DID! (Thank goodness for family being the first public address!)

When D asked me what the purpose of the count was, I gave you history and background, but not the goals we are hoping to accomplish.

Our number one goal is to get an ACCURATE baseline re: the scope of homelessness throughout the state as a whole, as well as capturing regional trends as of a specific point in time. This information will help with:

1. Planning purposes for state and local agencies
2. Assessment of needs – homelessness is but a symptom of many different and complex problems in our society
3. Procuring funding for programs serving homeless persons – remember that almost 1/3 of homeless families seeking help are turned away because of lack of resources? – Well, we hope that with this count and measurable data, we can help this to be a fading trend!
4. Grant Reporting
5. Developing and implementing new programs & measuring outcomes,

With all of the above, we hope to create lasting solutions and greatly reduce homelessness in our communities!

I’ve gotten one commitment and another maybe – so please, prayerfully consider becoming a part of this effort. Talking with these folks will change you – funny, when I first began working with homeless 4 years ago, it was not my job of choice, but really the first job that would have me out of college.

Now, it’s a God given passion…He might just change you with this experience too. Love, Me

I got this reply from a member I don't know very well:

So is this a Church program?

I replied, to him and the rest of the congregation - after all, there might be some confusion on that right?

No sir, it's not.

This count is being initiated by our state government, [in which] local governments and non-profit agencies are the major players in helping the project be realized. What many in the community don't know though, is that these major players are already so understaffed that we need a widespread community effort of volunteers to help achieve the results I talked of in my earlier e-mail.

While this is not a "church" program, I daresay it is definitely in keeping with our mission:

James 2:15Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. 16If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?

Matthew 25: 34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' 37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' 40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of
these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

This count may not actually meet the [immediate] needs of the homeless, but the results will help us to do just that.

Hope that helps, and if you have anymore questions, please do let me know - I love to talk about it!

I had a sneaking suspicion I was about to receive my first negative public reaction to the count. Moments later, my suspicions were confirmed:

Just wondering. I would support it if it were a church program. I can not support unlawful use of tax dollars. Thanks for the info.

As I read that, my first initial reaction was a return to my white trash roots - bewilderment expressed by, what the (@*#&$&^%?

That was only momentary though, and then I cried. Not because he hurt ME, but because I had a very painful come to Jesus moment, where I understood with startling clarity just how much we hurt Him with our flawed human views, intentional or not. Then I felt bad and asked Him to forgive me when I get it wrong - which is all too often. I vehemently do NOT want to shortchange my Lord - though I know because I'm human, it's sort of totally inevitable.

I tend to be somewhat impulsive with my words and not think them out. So I wrote an e-mail in response, but sent it to my minister instead of this member - asking him to pray over it and give me his honest opinion. It borders on novel length, but it's integral to who I have been, and who I am now in the Lord.

I'm doing my best to respond to this in love...

I'm saddened by your comment. I didn't share the following, because of time limitations, but I think it is a relevant testimony that may make you see things a bit
differently. I once was a homeless child. My mother divorced my stepfather because he was a drug abuser and he bankrupted our family by the time I was 13. We had nowhere to go, and mom - while she didn't make many great choices in life, was working 2 FT jobs to support the 4 of us kids. We lived with my aunt and uncle in a tiny duplex that was about 800 square feet - 3 adults and 5 kids, and still couldn't make it work. My aunt and uncle had substance abuse and domestic violence issues, so my mom found the only way out she could see - by developing an instant family with some guy she'd met. For the next 13 years, our lives were filled with horrific emotional and physical abuse... These are the types of stories of over 700 children in our county - how many more across the state experience this?

Ok, so I know that's the emotional response out of me. So now the logic...

First of all, while this is initiated by the state government, it's not funded by the state. (Yes, a lot of the more rural counties in the state have NOT been happy about
this) So just how that constitutes "unlawful" usage of tax dollars, I'm a little unclear on. My position for Larimer County has been funded in part by City of Loveland and City of Fort Collins - but these are monies that were dedicated/allocated to discretionary human services dollars - as I understand, public comment is welcome and part of the process when the municipal/county budgets are proposed, all of which are approved by the respective City Councils/County Commissioners - our lawfully elected representatives. Totally lawful and above board, as the way the books would have it. In addition, United Way of Larimer County has also partnered with the effort - financing my job with donated funds, to use as they see fit in accordance with their organization's goals, mission and bylaws.

As a reminder, this effort is NONPARTISAN - all parties of the local politics are in support of it.

I hear your kind of reaction a lot, and ironically from Christians more than non-Christians - which again saddens me, because I find it in contradiction with what I find in Scripture, particularly in Romans 13: 1Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. 3For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. 4For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. 5Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. 6This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. 7Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.

I know that is hard for us to swallow in today's times, with all that our leaders lack morally - but if we pick and choose which parts of Scripture are still relevant, doesn't that bring about a really flawed theology? Now, I could be wrong, but I've found nowhere in Scripture that it says we have the right to dictate how our authorities spend the taxes, which are due from us for the costs of American privileges, such as freedom of speech, nice roads, public health and safety (like the FDA), etc? I've never found it, which means this whole idea of public comment and a sense of "my rights" over how/where our tax dollars are spent is an entirely American concept, and not necessarily a Christian one.

Whose laws do we want to uphold re: this homeless count - God's or ours?

I don't want to start a debate here - truly - I simply wish instead that if you have a disagreement with me, please evaluate whether it's scripturally based, and then see if it really needs to be communicated. I was really discouraged by this - and I know that God would rather we encourage one another.

Sorry for my longwindedness, dear brother, but you struck a nerve. :) I hope that my response has been heard in the loving tone with which it was meant - I really mean no ill will - just wanted to share perspective.

While you may not be willing to support my project with your time, would you please support it in prayer - that the love of God will be extended and needs will be met? I will take as many as I can get! I'm not at liberty to turn this into an evangelistic effort, but I've shared my faith before with the homeless people who've asked, "Why do you even care?" - and hope for the opportunity to arise.

Basking in the
Son-shine,

The red-headed step-child

Now...I'm considering my minister's advice, which was to wait a week and see if I still felt it was important. I still do today. I still want to say, "Can you really condemn innocent children to poverty and despair in the name of your rights to the tax dollars?" I still want to add that the bit from Romans was written during the reign of the Roman empire - known for its corruption and non-Christian principles at that time, yet Paul still commands us to obey and submit and have faith that God knew what He was doing in letting our government officials be placed where they have been. And I also want to tell him to take his whole "unlawful" verbiage and shove it - I had to spend COUNTLESS hours last year on the City's Consolidated Plan making sure we followed the LAWFUL Citizen Participation and Public Comment Protocol by the letter - only to have NOT ONE public comment, and yet people STILL gripe and moan about their rights being ignored when THEY HAVE DONE NOTHING ABOUT IT!!!

But...I also know that while his meaning seems clear - I don't know this man's heart, and I guess it's not really my job to figure that out. So maybe I just give him my understanding and cling tight to Hebrews 4:12: For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it [alone] judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

But will he hear? Have hearts across American churches been so hardened that even the Word of the God they claim to pledge allegiance to cannot sway their fiscal fixations, their staunch stereotyping?

I dunno....but for now,

I'm gonna lii-ve for to-day-ay
I'm gonna follow in Your Way
I'm-gonna-let-my-little-light-shine
Like there's no tomorrow....

Will you help me?

How?

Become a prayer warrior for me...no more, no less.

The nuances of language

In reading other blogs on the net, and in real life, I've recently had a crash course in semantics.

se·man·tics ( P ) Pronunciation Key (s-mntks)n. (used with a sing. or pl. verb)
Linguistics. The study or science of meaning in language.
Linguistics. The study of relationships between signs and symbols and what they represent. Also called semasiology.
The meaning or the interpretation of a word, sentence, or other language form: We're basically agreed; let's not quibble over semantics.

• First, there was my Wednesday night discussion with a man who has similar interests in life, though with very different perspectives. We talked about lobbying, as it often is pursued these days - with no integrity, people only representing special interests because 1.) the group pays well, and 2.) the lobbyist is a professional communications type - a good spokesperson. Mr. Intelligent Politically Savvy Man pointed out that we have turned "lobbyist" into a bad word because of this mindset - but really, the American principles of lobbyism - pleading your case before a representative government - are what have shaped our education systems, public safety, etc. Not such a bad thing after all. I concurred, adding that the same thing was true for the words "liberal," and "conservative," noting that I tend to be socially "liberal" but fiscally "conservative," and everywhere in between on other various issues.

His response?

"Liberal IS a bad word!"

I just rolled my eyes at the time, conveying the message - have we gotten anywhere??
with respect to our dialogue.

As I've mulled it over in my mind this week - I've thought of all the synonyms for "lobbyist," and come up with this list:

Advocate
Champion [for the cause]
Defender
Upholder
Supporter
Spokesperson...

Isn't that what Jesus is to me? He's all of those things and more, even in agony, He pleaded, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do." That's the most intense form of lobbying - and He did it for us, totally unworthy recipients of His saving grace.

For me, trying to become Christlike means to be a lobbyist for those less fortunate than me - regardless of whether their circumstances are of their own making. I can only hope to be as relentless as He was in His efforts.

• Then, there was Larry James' commentary on the Prez' recent slippage of a curse word, and the public response. His wasn't so much a lesson on semantics as it was a matter of perspective. I especially LOVED this tidbit:
  

The incident reminded me of a now infamous speech delivered by Tony Campolo several years ago at a big national youth ministry conference.

Campolo, the master of shock and prophetic comedy among Evangelicals, opened his address by screaming the same expletive that the networks had to bleep out of the President's audio.

Got the picture? Talk about sucking all the oxygen out of a room!

Tony then calmly stated, "Now, admit it. Most of you are more concerned that I used that word than you are that over 30,000 children died of disease and starvation last night."

Whoa! Talk about capturing audience attention.

• Then, there was an interesting diatribe on the usage of swear words, and how they are really more relative than anything at Leigh Hope's online crib. (For my faint of heart readers - it's pretty peppered with profanity, but the named commentators have some valid points). And it made me think that some of what we deem cursewords now weren't even etymologically evolved yet! How's that for ironic?

So...all in all, kind of interesting for those who ponder linguistic trends or the significance and priority of clean vocabularies over basic humanitarian efforts. Also otherwise random rubbish....I've had a tough day; more later.

random wakefulness

• Yesterday, LMNOB uttered the following phrase: "Yeah, baby! That made me wet!" Hearing that out of a 5 y/o about made me wet, though because of the hilarity, and not because of any weird fetishes....For what it's worth, it was a sudden rainstorm out of nowhere that "made her wet"..... context proves to be everything
• I'm weaned off the Effexor now - taking St. John's Wort 3x daily now and it's seeming to have had no difference - save for my checkbook. A 6 week supply is $20; whereas a 30 day supply of Effexor was forty bucks a pop.
• I did really well with diet and exercise last week; this week, eh, not so much. Err...not at ALL. But, heck, miracle of all miracles, I'm down 5 lbs as of today. Go figure.
• I'm really getting stressed about this homeless count job. 1) because so much is riding on it for the social welfare of my community; 2) because so much is riding on it for my future career path.
• I talked with a really intelligent man, (herein referred to as Mr. Intelligent, Politically Savvy Man) at church Wednesday night about affordable housing and the homeless count; and while he sits on a pretty different political fence than I do, he actually listened (per my very direct, "Hey if you want to talk about this, great, but one caveat - you gotta listen, let me say my piece, and not begin your mental race to the counter arguments while I'm talking - otherwise, no deal."), and conceded that some of the things I brought up were good and valid points. This from a very conservative man who tends to think of anyone different as a "bleeding heart." Yeah well, I've lived the life, sir....it's tough.

Now, I really must be going to beddie bye. Night night all....

Irksome talk 'round here

LMNOB is the QUEEN of back talk - so much so that I want to yank "BUT" right out of her vocabulary - but then I'd have to change her screen name. That is, after all, what the B stands for.

I hate her back talking, but also take comfort in a couple of things (usually very far in the deep recesses of my mind while experiencing such bedeviling behavior of hers, but eventually these things come to the surface:)

- It's normal for kids to test the limits - If she wasn't trying this with me, it would probably mean she was terrified of me and I'd been the equivalent of Mommy Dearest. I should also note that it's normal for parents to correct this testing of boundaries by firmly reminding their children just what is/is not acceptable. And I do - though not always in the most appropriate way. I'm human too, folks. Shocking, eh?

- She's got a very fine reasoning capacity, with her swift and sharp wit often serving her well, much to my chagrin....I can only hope that she is a good steward of her cunning mind, developing a successful, creative, and famillialy removed outlet for it instead of becoming analogous with Shakespeare's Kate (particularly the Liz Taylor rendition of her- eeks!) to a future son-in-law. Sometimes, I think that Charlie Brown feels this way about me...that lil apple? Pretty close to the mother tree. Yup. gulp!

- She does this with me exclusively - well, sometimes Charlie Brown, but mostly with me. And as grit-my-teeth-frustrating as that is in the heat of the moment, it means that she's comfortable enough with me to try, and yet has been taught the value of respect enough in our home that she is obedient for other adults. So, it is clicking....somewhere in there.

Punkinhead, on the other hand, he's a little button pusher with respect to phrases lately. The handful of now-deemed-expletives in our house include:

Yeah wight...

Shut up....

Never!

Stupid...

You'we Wude!

Weave me awone!

And how could I forget, the most reviled phrase?

I don't WIKE you, Mama! But ya'll know my answer to that one.

These words have all come courtesy of a new boy at daycare, and every time I hear them, I get all ruffled up, and hearing the judgment of other women re: my working out of the home, like what Chris mentioned - only worse, b/c the other ladies aren't even there! - begin to wonder, "Am I doing the right thing by my children?"

But, almost as instantly as the other women come into my head, the voice of reason screams, "Giiiiiiiirl, oh no you DON'T! Are you KIDDING me??? You ARE a Mommy Dearest when you're home with them more than 4 days straight!"

Which is why..............

I continue to work outside the home, so that my children can have a Mommy who is balanced, sane, and relatively pleasant to be around. It's not so much that I am self-seeking, preferring my comfort over the kids' security, than it is that I simply wasn't taught how to be a good mother by my own. And, I'm trying to do everything in my power to see to it that they get a better Mommy out of the deal....that means I work; at least some, out of the house.

And....

I prefer to see these irksome, loathsome, abused and misused words as the buzz words every Mommy clings to these days: "teachable moments."

Besides, when you look at the heart of the matter - the words being parroted by Punkinhead are coming from the influence of another child, not from us! Which is good, because for some reason, I think hypocrisy is awfully hard to explain to a 3 y/o.

The only thing with that though, is the fact that when we talk to him about which words are good/bad and why, he fixates on the "thou shalt not say _____" message, and turns into the neighborhood Vocabulary Gestapo. Mama, _________ say dat bad woord you don't wike! Which leads me to teaching him about personal responsibility, and how nobody likes a tattler.

Parenting....this stuff just never ends.

Random bullets

Today I discovered a new blog, Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda. In Mir's candid re-telling of the night's events at her house, I saw LMNOB. Crisply, clearly, there was my daughter before me, saying the exact same things! Oh, wait....that was a memory, but well, how can they be so similar? Could it be that I am not the only mommy with such a daughter? But, the part that scares the poo-poo out of me is that her dd is 8, whereas LMNOB is 5 and could be her behavioral twin! Signs of things to come? *sigh* at least when it comes to daughters, I have a new place to go where "everyone knows my name," or whatever it is that ails LMNOB.

This is my craptastic day bullet. Today I presented to a board re: the homeless count. The County Division of Health and Human Services director, who is paying for me to do this count, was there. I asked her today to see if she would be able to help me in getting her staff to administer surveys....bureaucratic answer alert: she said "no." So lemme get this straight lady, the cause is such that you can support it financially, but when it comes to actually getting the work done, I'm on my own? What the heck kind of collaboration is this?

Oh yes, it got worse. I get home and there's a very passive aggressive e-mail from a woman in our church small group that says only, " I didn't get your email that you sent out to our life group. Maybe we got taken off your list accidentally or on purpose, who knows. FYI. - M" For the record, YES she was on the list, and she even "replied all" to a message that was "replied all" to my ORIGINAL message!!! What gives? So, I being the direct person I am, call her and let her know on her answering machine, yes I did include her, no it was not on purpose, perhaps her junk mail kicked it? I also touched on how her message bothered me, even though I figured she was joking, without the tone and body language, the humor got left out. She gets on the phone and tries to ha-ha it and continues the passive aggression - "Well, I guess I won't joke anymore....well, I guess we just don't know each other well enough?" Grrrrrrrrrr! Crap on me, I try to be a squeaky wheel to avoid further incidents, and instead of the proverbial oil, I get more crappy attitude!

To top it, we have WAY too much to do for church tomorrow, money problems are Baaaaaack!, and I have gained 10 lbs in a month, despite 2 weeks of dieting and exercise!